Chapter 37

“Listen up girls!”

Sean raised his hand. When the coach ignored him, he asked, “What girls?”

“Michaels!”

“I’m not a girl,” Sean said looking around at the other guys in the gym. There wasn’t a single athlete among them. By and large, they were a pretty scrawny lot, except for the overweight guys. However, they were all male. He said, “I don’t see any girls around here.”

“Don’t be a smart ass, Michaels,” the coach yelled getting in Sean’s face. He hated lazy kids like Sean who didn’t appreciate the character building value of team sports. If he had his way, he would use them all as tackling dummies for the football team.

Sean scratched the back of his head and studied the coach for a good ten seconds. Finally, he asked, “Do you have gender identity issues?”

“What!”

“Well, you can’t tell boys from girls,” Sean said pointing to the other guys in the gym.

“Sean’s dead now,” Sid said shaking his head.

“Coach will make sure that he never walks again,” Jerry said.

“Michaels, I’m warning you,” Coach Slaughter said finding it nearly impossible to keep from striking him. His face turned red and the vein in his forehead started throbbing.

“What did I do?” Sean asked looking at the coach. The man looked like he was about to explode. He covered his mouth and said, “Sorry. I didn’t realize you were still in the closet.”

“What!”

Sid asked, “Did he just say that coach was gay?”

“It sure sounded like that to me,” Jerry said shaking his head.

“I didn’t realize you were still in the closet. Don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret,” Sean said.

The whole class laughed until the coach looked in their direction. It got very quiet in the gym. Just about everyone expected Sean would leave class by ambulance except for Sid and Sean. Sid was pretty sure the Sean would leave by hearse. Sean was waiting for the coach to say something.

Coach Slaughter growled. It was a real growl that originated deep in his chest and came out with a low rumble. His fists turned white and his arms trembled while he kept himself from killing Sean. Normally, he would work a kid like this until he couldn’t move. Unfortunately, there was no real work out scheduled that day. However, tomorrow would be a different story and he’d be able to drive Sean into the ground. Coach Slaughter said, “Tomorrow, you are going to give me fifty.”

“Fifty what?” Sean asked not liking the sound of this.

“Push-ups,” Coach Slaughter said.

Sean thought about it for a few seconds with a worried frown. A smile crossed his face and then he said, “I’ll bet I can do more push-ups than you.”

“What?” Coach Slaughter said thinking he had misheard Sean.

Pointing a finger at the coach, Sean said, “I bet I can do more push-ups than you.”

Coach Slaughter broke out into laughter. The entire class burst out in laughter. The coach was in excellent shape and did a hundred push-ups every morning. He doubted Sean could do ten.

He said, “You’re on.”

“If I can do more push-ups than you, I get to spend the rest of the year in the library and you’ll give me an A for the class,” Sean said.

“When you lose, you’ll do exercises for an hour every day after school,” Coach Slaughter said.

“Okay,” Sean said.

Sid said, “You’re crazy Sean.”

“I’ll do more push-ups than him,” Sean said. The last half of his sentence was drowned out by laughter.

Coach Slaughter shouted, “Listen up, girls.”

“Uh, Coach?”

“Shut up, Michaels,” Coach Slaughter yelled. He held up the little green gym pants and said, “You are required to show up to gym tomorrow with gym shorts that look like this. They are to be green, just like this one that I’m holding up. You will bring a plain white tee shirt. You will have white gym socks and sneakers. Are there any questions?”

Sean raised a hand. When the coach ignored him, Sean said, “I have a question.”

“What is it?” Coach Slaughter asked.

“Those are pretty short. Do they come in a style that comes down to the knee?” Sean asked.

Coach Slaughter shouted, “This is not a fashion show. It is a gym class and you’ll wear proper gym attire.”

“Why do they have to be so short?” Sean asked.

“Because that is how gym shorts are!” Coach Slaughter looked around the room at the boys watching him. He said, “Every Friday you will take your gym clothes home and wash them.”

“What if you’re sick Friday?” Sean asked.

“Then you’ll take them home Monday night,” Coach Slaughter yelled.

“Okay,” Sean said.

Sid said, “I think Sean has a death wish.”

“He’s going to die tomorrow once coach gets him in gym clothes,” Jerry said shaking his head.

“Suzie is kind of young to be a widow,” Sid said.

“Yeah,” Jerry said.

Coach glared at the pair of boys. They did their best to hide. Coach said, “If you fail to wear the correct gym clothes or fail to wash them over the weekend, then you’ll have to give me five laps for each infringement.”

“What if you’re sick Friday? Will you have to do laps on Monday?” Sean asked.

Furious, Coach Slaughter looked at the clock and said, “Everyone get out of here!”

“You didn’t answer my question, Coach,” Sean said.

“I’ll tell you tomorrow,” Coach Slaughter said stomping off to his office.

Sid said, “He’s going to kill you tomorrow.”

“No. I plan on spending the rest of the year in the library,” Sean said with a smile.

“It has been nice knowing you,” Sid said.

“You can say that again,” Jerry said.

“I better head over to chemistry,” Sid said.

Sean stood up straighter and asked, “Do you need a lab partner?”

Sid paled and said, “Jerry is my lab partner.”

Jerry nodded his head and said, “That’s right.”

“Oh,” Sean said. He headed off to chemistry. Smiling, he said, “Maybe I’ll get to work alone.”

“Sean!”

Hearing his voice being called out, Sean stopped before entering the chemistry room. He turned around and spotted the principal running towards him. Smiling, he said, “I just keep running into you everywhere I go, Principal Charmers.”

“Uh, there’s been a slight change in your schedule,” Mr. Charmers said. He looked in the chemistry room and saw Mr. Donaldson staring at Sean with a terrified expression on his face.

“What?” Sean asked wondering if he was going to get out of social studies with Ms. Hawkins.

Turning Sean around and stepping away from the door, Mr. Charmers said, “We put you in biology rather than chemistry.”

“Oh,” Sean said. He looked in the chemistry room wistfully and said, “They got a whole bunch of neat stuff in chemistry. I would really like to tinker around with the chemicals and stuff.”

“Well, you tend to be a little enthusiastic at times,” Mr. Charmers said with a worried frown.

“At times? I’m enthusiastic all of the time,” Sean said.

“A chemistry lab isn’t the best place to be enthusiastic,” Mr. Charmers said.

“It isn’t?” Sean asked looking puzzled.

Mr. Charmers said, “Biology is a little better for that.”

“Really?” Sean asked dubiously. He looked across the hallway and through the door of the biology room. He frowned and said, “All they’ve got are skeletons in there. In the chemistry lab they’ve got Bunsen burners, pipettes, and chemicals. They’ve got a lot of chemicals. Some of them make smoke when you mix them together.”

“They’ve got more than just skeletons over in Biology,” Mr. Charmers said turning Sean to face the biology class.

“I really had my heart set on chemistry. I really wanted to make water by burning hydrogen,” Sean said trying to face the chemistry lab.

A chill went down Mr. Charmers’ spine. He glanced over in the chemistry room and saw that Mr. Donaldson was holding up two pipettes in the configuration of the cross in Sean’s direction. Mr. Charmers said, “Sean, I know you can keep a secret.”

“You bet,” Sean said preening a bit. He smiled and said, “The last time someone told me a secret, I kept it for almost three days.”

Mr. Charmers grimaced. He was pretty sure that Mr. Donaldson would forgive him. He said, “Mr. Donaldson is of a rather nervous temperament.”

“Really?” Sean asked.

“I’m not sure that he could take someone with your level of enthusiasm in his class,” Mr. Charmers said.

“You don’t say,” Sean said. He looked back at the chemistry room. Mr. Donaldson was on his knees praying. Sean frowned and asked, “Do you think he remembers me from ninth grade?”

“He’ll never forget you,” Mr. Charmers said. He had almost slipped and used the word ‘forgive.’

Scratching his stomach, Sean said, “I guess you just don’t forget some things like that.”

“Not many people would think of seeing what happens when you flush sodium down the toilet,” Mr. Charmers said.

“It was a legitimate experiment,” Sean said. “I even wrote it up in my lab book before I did it.”

“I know,” Mr. Charmers replied.

“I didn’t think it would cause every toilet to spray water,” Sean said.

“I know,” Mr. Charmers said. Sean had been lucky that the toilet hadn’t exploded.

“I didn’t realize he was using one of them at the time,” Sean said.

“I know,” Mr. Charmers said.

“He shouldn’t have been smoking,” Sean said.

Mr. Charmers said, “He discovered that in a very painful manner.”