We watched him struggle with the big boxes. We wondered why he was all alone. We wanted to go help, but he was a stranger. They taught us never to talk to strangers. He was moving in next door to Jamie Wills house. We told her how lucky she was to have such a cute neighbor. He was in his early 30's I believe. He looked like a younger Brad Pitt but with brown hair. He was tall. Well we were all only 12 years old so almost everyone was taller than us.

He was sweating and he lifted his shirt slightly we caught a glimpse of his hard abs. We all gasped. We were little girls enjoying some male eye candy. It was innocent fun. It's not like any of us would actually go there and have sex with him. We didn't even know HOW to have sex! We were kids. Just little girls. That's all...

We had been at Lucas' ball game all day. I was turning red from the sun. I was jealous of my friend Sonia who was a nice tan color by now. I was cursed with my white skin it seemed. Lucas was Sonia's sort of boyfriend. It just meant they held hands after school and gave each other an occasional hug. They had never kissed after 2 months. I thought it was bizarre but Sonia said her parents forbid her to kiss boys. They allowed her to bring Lucas over. They'd let him sit with her in the living room and watch TV. They let them hold hands and would allow Lucas to put his arm around her, but NO KISSING. If they ever discovered that they kissed, they'd be sure to send Sonia away to private school which would mean no more best friend from me and no more pretty girlfriend for Lucas.

Lucas was 12 like us. He was the oldest out of all of us. By "us" I mean our group of tight knit friends. There was Lucas, Sonia, Raul, Raul's twin sister Alma, Jamie, Toni (whose name is really Antonia but prefers to be called Toni), Toni's younger brother (by a year) Manny and of course me, my name is Ella.

Anyway, going back to birthdays Lucas was the eldest. His birthday came first on June 15. So of course Sonia was bragging about having an "older" boyfriend. Then it was me. My birthday was June 18. Sonia's was June 25, Raul and Alma's was July 2. Jamie's was July 15, Toni's was August 3 and Manny's was August 8, but of course he was still a year younger than all of us. He was happy to be joining us in middle school the following year. Not only to be around us, but to be around Jamie.

We all knew how much Manny was in love with Jamie. He'd send her "secret" admirer letters and put them in her mailbox. He'd pick flowers out of Mrs. Garrett's garden and pretended he bought them for her. Jamie knew all too well that Manny was crazy about her. She thought it was "cute" but Jamie supposedly liked "older" guys. I didn't think "older" mean someone like her new next-door neighbor who we discovered was named Jack.

"He's a very smart man. He teaches at a private school not far from here and get this ... he's never been married!" Mrs. Wills is talking to my mom about Jack. They both looked horny when they talk about him. I thought it was disgusting. I mean moms are married and are not supposed to think about sex right?

"Oh my. He is a very handsome young man. I'm surprised no woman has come and snagged him. I know if I were single and 15 years younger..." My mom paused and looked at me.

I was in the pool with Jamie and Toni. I was listening while my friends were busy trying to dive off the high board.

"Um honey ... don't you want to go play with your friends?"

I shrugged and swam away. School was about to finish soon. That would mean more lazy days by the pool with all my friends. That was something I always looked forward to. Jamie was the one with the pool. Her dad was a successful lawyer and her mom was a principal at the high school. So yeah, they were pretty well off. Sometimes I envied Jamie. She seemed to have it all. She was pretty, with long blonde hair and big green eyes. She lived in a big house. She had a pool. Her parents had maids to come clean their house three times a week. I was stuck having to clean my room and help my mom clean the house. I thought Jamie was lucky and had the perfect life.

"I think I want to go over there to say hi," Jamie gushed.

"Are you crazy?" I asked. I couldn't believe Jamie wanted to go visit Jack's house. We were sitting in Jami's bedroom painting our toenails. Mine were hot pink and Jamie's were candy apple red.

"Why not? I mean he's off this summer right? He's probably bored. I don't see him go out. He's inside all day."

"So what? That doesn't mean he wants to be bothered by a 12 year old," I responded haughtily.

She snapped her bubble gum. "Are you jealous?" She asked all of a sudden.

I blinked. "What?"

"I asked if you're jealous. Are you jealous that he might actually like me? Maybe even kiss me?"

I couldn't believe she was saying this. "Kiss you? He's old enough to be your father!"

She laughed. "My father is ancient! Jack is only 32."

"How do you know his age?" I asked curiously.

She shrugged and finished off my last toenail. "I heard my mom telling Toni's mom."

I sighed. "This is sick you know. What if he comes on to you? You mean to tell me you're going to let him?"

She smiled innocently. "Well, I'd just let him kiss me that's all. I want my first kiss to be with someone who knows what he's doing."

I felt angry. "He's old Jamie! What don't you understand about that? If he comes on to you then he'll be considered a pedophile!"

She looked down. "Not if he just kisses me right? I mean it's all just for fun. It's not like I'm going to have sex with him. Eww!"

I laughed. Jamie had some crazy intentions but I never thought she'd actually go through with it.

A few days later me, Toni, Raul, Alma, Lucas, Sonia, and Manny were watching a baseball game. It was some high school boys playing. Lucas said he wanted to go so he could study their moves. It was one of the best high school teams. They'd won several times not only city wide but state wide. I really wasn't much of a baseball fan but only attended the games because of Lucas and ... Raul. Yes, Raul was MY secret crush. He was so secret that no one even knew how much I liked him. Not even Jamie. He was my secret. Manny played baseball too but he wasn't as good as Lucas or Raul.

I kept looking at Raul every now and then. He hid his brown curly hair under his baseball cap. He still wore braces and I knew once they came off he'd be a real ladies man. He had a great smile even with the braces. He talked kind of low that you'd have to pay real close attention to hear what he said, but I loved that about him.

I prayed that Alma never found out how much I liked her twin brother. She would tell everyone and make fun of me every chance she had. I was supposed to be the one who didn't "believe" in falling in love.

Sonia and I ate hotdogs and split a diet soda while the rest of the gang chowed down on popcorn, pizza and cokes. We were having a pretty good time until we heard the news. Jamie was in the hospital.

My mom drove us all to the local hospital. Jamie's face and body was bruised and she was bleeding between her legs. That's all they told us. I was shaking. One of my best friends was hurt and all I wanted to do was be with her. No matter how many times I had envied her, I still loved her to death. I kept wondering who had done this to her. Only one name came to mind, but I didn't say anything.

We arrived but were not allowed to see Jamie. The doctors said family only. I was very upset. She was like a sister to me. Shouldn't that matter?

"Is she ok?" I hear Manny ask in a tiny voice.

We all turned to see him. Tears rolled out of his brown eyes and his bottom lip trembled. Toni put her arms around her baby brother and held him. They both cried and I looked to see all my friends crying. Lucas held Sonia and Raul held his sister Alma. I had no one to hold me but my mom. The strange thing was, I had no tears. I just felt my anger rising.

"Do they know who did this?" I screamed as I pulled away from my mother's gentle hold.

Everyone turned to look at me. Everyone looked clueless.

"It was Jack! I know it was Jack! That asshole!"

My mom grabbed my hand. "Excuse us." She led me outside.

I was sobbing uncontrollably now. My mother held me tight but I refused to hug her.

"Sweetie. Oh Ella please calm down. Sweetie. Oh sweetie." My mom kept chanting softly trying to calm me down.

"It was him. I know it was him." I said in a muffled voice.

My mom knelt down and looked up at me. She kept her hands on the side of my arms. "It's not right to make accusations sweetheart. Jamie told the police it was a stranger who did this to her. She said she was riding her bike and some man was driving next to her trying to get directions and when she tried to avoid him, he got off his car, took her away a place she can't remember where it is. He beat her up and raped her then let her go. That's what she told the police."

Even though that was possible, I found it hard to believe. I just felt Jamie was covering up for Jack. I just had that instinct. As I've said before, Jamie was like a sister to me. I always knew when she was lying and was IN FACT lying.

Lucas' birthday went by. My birthday went by and coming up was Sonia's birthday but none of us were in any mood for parties or presents. We all just wanted our friend to be ok. But we all knew she'd never recover.

"What makes you think its Jack?" Raul asked me. We were at Dairy Queen trying to enjoy a vanilla cone. What once was my favorite treat now had no flavor.

I shrugged. "We kind of talked about him a few weeks ago. She mentioned that she thought he was cute and she wanted to go visit him."

"Yeah, but she told the police-"

"I know what she told the police!" I cut him off unintentionally, "but I don't believe a word of it. I mean look at what's happened to her. She's back at home but never leaves the house. She refuses to see any of us and her parents said she's lost so much weight they are worried about her health."

Raul looked down at his melting ice cream. "I miss her you know. I mean she was always so much fun to hang with. And ... I miss the way you were happy when you hung out with her." He looked at me for a moment making my heart race. "I don't know, I guess none of us have been the same since this happened."

"It's going to be like this for a long time," I said and out of nowhere reached out and put my hand over his. His hand felt cool from holding the ice cream cone. He let me keep my hand on his until we heard the Dairy Queen door open. I quickly took my hand away.

Lucas and Sonia walked in. They spotted us immediately and joined us. "Hey guys," Sonia said softly.

Lucas didn't sit out. He asked Sonia what she wanted and asked us if we needed anything else. Raul and I were fine with our cones and Sonia simply asked for a diet root beer. Lucas went on to order. Sonia was quiet for a moment.

"How are you doing?" I asked her.

She sighed. "I'm ... ok ... I guess. I don't know. My birthday is coming up and my mom wants to have a party for me. Can you believe that? They say that what happened to Jamie was a tragedy but I MUST go on with my life. I can't believe they are so mean!"

She began to sob. Raul handed her a napkin. "It's not your fault Sonia. Just have the party. We'll be there. Maybe it won't be such a "happy" party but we are your friends. We'll be there."

I was surprised. "You really think that's a good idea?" I asked Raul.

He nodded and smiled at Sonia. "We all need some kind of a distraction. At least for one day. So why not celebrate her birthday. In fact why not celebrate your birthday too Ella? And Lucas'. I mean you guys didn't even do anything but cry for your birthdays. What do you say?"

Sonia pouted. "You are worse than my parents you know that? But you have a point. I wish my parents could have at least explained it the way you did."

Lucas came back to the table with Sonia's root beer and an order of fries and a shake for him. We explained the whole party idea and Lucas was ok with it.

So it went on. Sonia's party was a mournful event. We tried. We really did try to have fun and laugh and dance but it was unsuccessful. Manny sat in the corner the whole time in silence. We were all gathered in the den which was a pretty big room.

"He hardly talks anymore. He's wanted to see Jamie but her parents don't allow it. I heard they want to send her away," Toni explained.

"Send her away?" We all asked in unison.

She nodded. "Yup to some place she could get "help" I guess you can say."

"But she didn't do anything wrong! That asshole who did this to her did!" Raul yelled. Luckily the music was loud so the other guests didn't hear. It was mostly classmates who we never really talked to but were invited to Sonia's party by Sonia's mom.

"I know but she's been really out of it. So her parents figure it's best for her to go away."

"That can't happen to her! She's one of our best friends! We can't let her leave!" I said loudly.

"It's not up to us unfortunately." Toni said and looked sadly at her heartbroken baby brother.

It was only two days before Jamie's birthday when I got the courage to go see her. I knew her parents would forbid me to see her, but I missed my best friend and I couldn't let her be sent away without ever seeing her. I climbed up a mango tree her parents had in the backyard, which led to her bedroom window. I could see her lying in bed reading a book. She was still in her pajamas at three in the afternoon. Her once shiny blonde hair was now dull.

I made my way slowly hoping no branches would break until I reached her window. I knocked quietly as possible. I saw her green eyes meet mine. Her mouth fell open as if she wanted to scream. I silently begged her not to.

She slowly got up from the bed. Her blonde hair matted and her eyes had dark circles around them. She opened her window slowly. "What are you doing here?" She asked in a scared voice.

"I wanted to see you! I miss you! Are you OK?" I asked impatiently.

She wanted to say something but changed her mind it seemed. "Hurry up and come in. My parents will be so upset if they find you there hanging on the tree."

I made my way into her room as quietly as possible. She closed the window and stared at me. I walked towards her and hugged her. I cried. I cried so much. She hugged me back gently as if she were scared to break ME.

"Ella, don't cry. Please. Don't cry," She implored.

I gently pulled away from her and studied her face. "Tell me who did this to you. I need to know."

Tears pooled in her eyes quickly. "No. I don't want to talk about his." She turned away.

"Please," I begged.

She nodded. "No! For what?"

"You need to turn him in. He needs his lesson learned."

She turned to look at me. Tears were streaming down her face. "It was so scary Ella. I've never been more scared my whole life!"

I took her hand and let her to the bed. We sat on the edge of the bed and I held her. "Tell me."

"I just wanted to kiss him. Then he wanted more. He touched me. I told him no and then he got angry. Called me a little cock tease and said no wonder little girls get raped. They tease big guys like him by wearing short skirts and with their flirty giggles. Now I was going to pay for it."

"Was it Jack?"

She remained silent.

"Was it Jack?" I asked again.

She sobbed louder now. "It hurt. He hit me over and over. It hurt."

"Was it Jack?"

"He got inside me and really hurt me more. He said I'd never forget him and he's right. I never will. I'm still hurting. I will always hurt."

"Was it Jack?"

She pulled away and looked at me. Her tears were drying up. "What difference does it make? He lives next door to my parents. He said he'd hurt them if I told anyone. He said he'd hurt ME again too. Or he could possible hurt one of my "little tramp" friends."

I gulped. "He said that?"

She nodded sadly. "Yes, so please don't say anything to anyone! Please!"

"I can't make any promises," I said bluntly and kissed her forehead. "You're birthday is coming up. What do you say we try to have fun?"

She frowned. "I can't. I never will."

"Don't' say that. We all miss you and love you. Let us at least give you a small party."

She smiled weakly "With a piñata and everything?"

I felt like crying. "If that's what you want."

"I would love that. You know I would. But I can't. I just can't."

Just then we heard footsteps. I didn't want to leave but I made my way out the window. I looked up at my best friend's window and wondered what she would do now that I left. I walked away from her yard back into the street. I looked back and saw her up at the window staring down at me. She waved and I waved at her. I blew her a kiss and never realized that would be the last time I'd see Jamie.

Her funeral was the biggest event that whole summer. Everyone from school was there paying their respects and some of course went just for the gossip. It was a "gentle" death as her parents said. She took sleeping pills and never woke up. She died two days right before her 13th birthday.

We all watched our best friend buried. A young life gone because of an evil man. So what if she wanted to kiss him? He could have just pushed her away and called her parents. Why did he comply? Pedophiles don't deserve to be alive. They all need to be killed a slow painful death for hurting children who cannot defend themselves or know no better.