Chapter 1: Exploration

I ran into my room barely holding back tears, burying myself into my bed. How can life be this unfair? I just got home from shopping with my family, a horrific ordeal when you can never find clothes that fit. I didn't let them see how upset I was, no need to make them worry about me, they catch me crying too often as it is, which is almost a daily occurrence.

My body is like something out of the circus and I hated it, why couldn't I be normal? My proportions were all wrong: I'm 13 ½ years old, with a 4'11 body. So I'm short, and probably as tall as I'm going to get, based on my mom. My frame is like I never went through puberty, probably about 90 lbs before other factors are considered. My arms and legs are thin, but well-shaped. I have a faint six-pack, but my waist is pretty small, most tall guys could probably put their hands all the way around it.

For some reason, I had gotten a small pouch at the bottom of my stomach, I guess I need to watch what I eat. You would think that a girl my size would have no ass, no hips and A cup tits? On the contrary, my ass sticks way out, and I consider it my best feature, ... if only I could show it off more (I'll get back to that). Hips ... no real complaint there either, at least I have some, I guess they match my frame. I'm pretty white, I wished I had spent more of the summer getting a good tan.

That leaves my tits. My bra size is 30G. Wrap your head around that. I have a kids chest with porn star boobs. I guess it's because I'm still young, but they stick out more than lay down. Which makes them jiggle incessantly. Luckily I finally got a tailor-made bra that actually controls them, instead of letting them bounce around like fighting pigs. My mom had really small boobs, so I'm still kinda wondering where I got them from. The doctor says it's a hormonal imbalance caused by my other problem.

Yeah, big problem. I can't wait until I'm 18 and I can have it removed. The doctors say that removing my penis now is premature and I have to wait. I think that it finally quit growing in the last couple weeks, thankfully. It was only about an inch long until last Christmas, then it started growing. Fast. It completely grosses me out, and I can't stand touching it. I still pee sitting down, and only touch it to wash it in the shower, or place it the right way in my underwear.

It's only gotten hard a few times, but that's enough for me. I usually just take a cold shower, or read a boring book until it goes away. Last week, out of curiosity, I decided to measure it ... I wish I hadn't. Without touching it, I put the ruler alongside it and nearly fainted. I looked real hard and I still couldn't tell you which was longer. I also checked the width, 2. 5 inches. Great, I remember thinking, I have a cock that is a little more than one-fifth my height.

At least my pussy is normal. My lips are small, but that's okay, because so am I. While I think puberty is just about over for me, I haven't gotten a period yet. The docs say it is because of my weird hormones, and I'll have to wait until I'm older to see what's up.

As you can see, clothes are a constant problem for me. My favorite asset, my ass, I can't show off in tight clothes because that would outline my dick. I know when I'm older, I won't mind showing off my boobs more, but for now, I'm only 13 — I get picked on by other girls for their size, ogled at by older men, and teenage boys won't look me in the face. So for now, they get covered up. The worst thing is sizes, I have a 90 lb body, so I have to shop in the kids section if I want stuff that fits my frame, but because of my ass and tits, none of those fit without being obscene. So I just settle for loose and baggy clothing. At least it makes me generally unnoticed in public.

Hearing my step-mom call out goodbye, I decided to get out of bed, change, and clean up. I rarely bother with makeup, so I just wiped my eyes clean and decided on some clothes for the evening. I had the house to myself, as my brother and sister were out with friends and my step-mom was about to leave to go visit her family on the other side of town for the weekend.

I took off my long skirt, over-sized t-shirt, minimizer bra, and tighty-whitey's and looked again in the mirror. Actually, all my complaining about clothing aside, I had a great body — minus the penis. I grimaced as I touched it to tuck it behind my legs and looked at my reflection as a normal looking girl for once. Now the only problem was the bowling balls on my chest. I could live with that at least. I could always get a reduction later in life. My face still looked like a preteen girl, but was starting to look a little older. My eyes are my dominant feature here, big and brown, and outlined by long eyelashes. My nose and mouth were small, but cute.

I looked around, put on a sports bra and sweatpants. Wiping my eyes one last time, I put my mid-back length auburn hair in a pony tail and went downstairs.

Friday night, seven o'clock. What to do? I made myself a frozen dinner and channel surfed for a while. Soon I came across an older movie that had just started, Color of Night with Bruce Willis. Putting the remote down, I reclined on the sofa and started getting into the movie.

While the story was pretty obvious, I got a chuckle out of the female lead playing a boy and girl, I could probably get away with it better than her. She kinda looked like an older version of me in the face. I started to imagine that I was her in the movie and let my mind wonder during the umpteenth sex scene in the movie.

I was thinking about letting Bruce have his way with me, gently teasing my nipples through my bra, and I noticed 'it' was growing. I was getting pretty horny, I guess it was horniness, this was my first time this worked up. I still didn't want anything to do with it, but I wanted to explore my girl side. I just ignored the now solid penis tenting my sweatpants almost to my knees and instead took my bra off.

I started out easy, just gently teasing my nipples and sending goosebumps all along my breasts. Soon I was massaging them, and before I knew it I was practically mauling them. My nerves were sending out pleasure all over my body. Maybe I was wrong about my tits, I couldn't let these feelings be removed. My small nipples were as hard as bullets and every time my fingers moved over them I shuddered with pleasure. My moans were matching the ones on the television.

My body was trembling now, and I noticed I had two wet spots in my sweatpants. One, disgustingly was at the tip of the tent in my pants where my dick ended. The other was in my crotch. I didn't want to ruin my sweats, so I pulled them off, making my dick slap up against my belly with a loud thud, sending another wave of pleasure through me. Even though I was laid flat, the head was poking at the bottom of my breasts.

Ignoring my gross deformity, I used one hand to keep massaging my breasts, and used the other to explore my pussy. Running my fingers along the drenched lips, my eyes involuntarily rolled into my head. I slipped one finger in and I couldn't help but moan loudly. Being a girl was awesome, I didn't know I could feel so good. I added a second finger in, but that was it. I was so tight, I had to really press to get the second digit in.