Chapter 45

So the caravan did indeed pull up to a house on Dec. 21 and whole passel of women and children disembarked. But it was my house instead of Marie's. I don't think Marie could have been happier. I was riding with Bailey, Suzette, Marie and Lexi in my Bravada.

"This is your house?" Lexi asked in amazement when we pulled into the drive. "It's huge."

I told her a lot of people live there, so it had to be.

"Everyone you saw tonight will be here for Christmas," I told her. "And all of them live here except you, your mom and your grandma. If we didn't have a big house we'd have to have people sleeping in the yard."

Suzette and Marie were agog when we entered the foyer.

"A far cry from Camden Avenue, isn't it?" I said. "But as big as it is, it gets a little crowded when we're all here. But that's only a couple of months a year. Bailey, Amelie and Jill are on tour from February to November. I'm already in season and gone half the time when they get back. The only full-time occupants are Sara, Beth and the kids. Although I think Tanner is going to spend a lot of time with me this summer."

I took them on the required tour. Lexi saw the pool and I wasn't sure she was going to keep going. She was also fascinated by the trophy room. She went from plaque to plaque and trophy to trophy studying each one intently.

"Where's you stuff, dad?" she asked. "My friends have been telling me about football stuff you won. Do you have your own room?"

I told her sort of. But I lifted her up and set her beside the picture.

"There," I said. "That's better. Now I have a trophy in here, too."

She giggled but picked up the picture.

"Which one is your wife?" she asked. "Is it Bailey? Or Beth?"

I told her I wasn't married to any of the women in the picture.

She continued with the questions for a few more minutes and I dodged and parried as well as I could. I could see Suzette and Marie watching closely — taking mental notes — and I could see a humored smile on Bailey's face.

I decided by next summer the large upstairs bedrooms were going to be renovated into several smaller ones. Timothy was already sprawled across my bed when I showed Lexi and Suzette to their room.

"You have everything you need, Suze?" I asked when she got settled in. "The closest bathroom is second door on the left. If it's occupied, there's one off my room. It's right next door. Make yourself at home and wake me if you need something."

She told me she was doing fine, but asked if we could sit and talk for a while.

"This is some place," she said. "Everyone has been really sweet — even Beth. It's really nice to have such a big get-together. Christmas used to be so much fun. Do you remember our Christmas?"

I told her it was one of my fondest memories.

"You know I still have that sweater you got me?" I said. "I still wear it, too."

Suzette looked sad and I asked what was wrong.

"I was just thinking of that beautiful locket you gave me," she said. "I really wish I still had it. But I guess you know where it went."

I could guess, but I told her it didn't matter.

"We're going to have a great Christmas this year," I said. "And every year you come back here. We'll make new memories this year we can talk about next year."

Her mood brightened a little.

"I think everything is going to work out fine," she said. I quickly agreed.

"And if something starts to go wrong, we'll find a way to fix it," I said. "You know I'll be there for Lexi. But I want you to know you don't have to do anything alone again. You've never had to, but that's beside the point. You have a lot of people here who will look out for you.

"That's the main rule of our little family unit here. Think of others before you think of yourself. It works pretty well most of the time. C'mon, I'll tuck you in."

I pulled the covers up to her chin and kissed her on the forehead.

"Night, Suze," I said as I left her room. Bailey was waiting in my room and Timothy was nowhere to be found.

Mondays are my day to sleep in. I usually will sleep until at least 9 a.m. But I was awake a 6:30 a.m. for some reason. I had my arms wrapped around a very naked Bailey. My dick was tucked neatly between her thighs. I was ready to fall back asleep when I felt Bailey kissing my arms. It was a nice way to wake up.

"I've been trying to wake you for a few minutes," she said. "Do you feel like messing around a little?"

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

OK, so some Mondays I'm too sore to do much. But I hardly did anything but watch the day before, so I was more than ready. But my alone time with Bailey was so limited, sometimes we forgot the niceties and simply went at it like dogs in heat.

This morning Bailey and I took our time. I kissed her whole body — and with a girl as tall as Bailey, that's a lot of body. As we kissed, Bailey pulled her head back and looked at me seriously.

"I love you," she said. "You know that, right? I missed you so much this summer. Don't worry. I'm not asking you to rush into anything. I don't want to change a single thing.

"But I want you to know I'm madly in love with you."

I told her I'd been in love with her since probably the first day I knew her.

"It took me a while to realize what it was," I said. "But it's never left. If anything, it's stronger now."

Bailey's smile was radiant. I've never met a more physically beautiful woman.

Our love-making that morning was slow and tinged with emotion.

I would have liked nothing more than to make love to Bailey the rest of the day and into tomorrow, but too soon I felt the familiar tingling that signaled my imminent release. Bailey picked up her pace and met me at the finish line.

It was still only 7:30 a.m. and I decided to go back to sleep for some reason. Bailey wanted to get some breakfast started and take everyone for some last-minute Christmas shopping, so she jumped out of bed and into the shower. I think I'd just dozed off — at any rate the shower was still running — when I heard a knock on the door.

I knew it had to be one of the three guests because anyone else would have just walked in, so I pulled on a pair of shorts and found Suzette standing in the hall.

"I have to pee," she said. "Every bathroom is occupied."

"I'm sure yours is, too," she said with a sly smile, "but if it's unlocked I don't mind if they don't. My other option is the pool."

Bailey said she didn't care if Suzette came in.

"So long as she leaves the camera outside," she said. "That picture of me in that wet white shirt from the Florida tournament still haunts me."

Suzette was smiling when she went into the bathroom. She was crying when she came out.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked soothingly. I knew Bailey would never say anything to cause this reaction. At least not purposefully.

Suzette shook her head and ran out of the room.

Bailey came out wearing only a towel moments later.

"It finally hit her," she told me. "Suzette finally realizes everything she's lost. She finally realized the person you are and she finally realized the person she has kept Lexi from knowing."

My lack of understanding was evident.

"She asked who Sara was and why you let her live here," Bailey said simply. "So I told her. I told her about the you that very few get to see. I think it was more than she wanted to hear. I think she actually hoped that you were banging all of us.

"I also told her I hoped to married to you one day and I never planned to let you go."

Bailey and I found Suze sitting in her room staring at the wall. Tears were still evident on her cheeks.

The protectiveness I felt toward all those years before came back in an instant. I hesitated only for a moment before I put my arm around her shoulder. Bailey smiled and did the same.

"I've made such a mess of things," Suzette said sadly. "Not only of my life and your life but of our daughter's too.

"Lexi has grown up like you did, Jay," she said. "She relies on me. When she started to rely on Doug, I ruined that. I'll take responsibility for some of the way you've turned out emotionally. But your mom has to take a hit there, too. I know you don't want to hear it, but she raised you to trust very few people and count on less than that.

"If you're honest to yourself, you know it's true."

I remembered what my Mom said about the lessons she'd never taught me. I hadn't thought about that conversation in years.

"I know you're right," I said. "But as we said: It's the past. We can't change it. But we'll move forward."

"I'm not asking for a free pass," Suzette said.

I nodded my agreement.

"But you get one anyway," I said. "You get a clean slate with us. What you do today and tomorrow matters. What you did yesterday doesn't."

Bailey slapped my shoulder playfully.

"That's not what you used to tell me," she said with a laugh.

Suzette looked at her.

"Don't worry, he changes his speeches to fit the situation," Bailey replied. "He told me that he was proud of me for what I did the day before and not to worry about how the next day turned out when he spent time with me on the LPGA Tour a few years ago."

"I remember," Suzette said. "I saw the video of you two dancing across the green a thousand times."

She looked at me then the floor.

"I think it is when I started to hate you," she said sadly. "I think that is when I finally decided that you had completely forgotten about me. That I had never really meant anything to you at all. I'm sorry, Jay."

I didn't know what to say but I did my best.

"You mattered, Suze," I said. "You still matter. Like it or not, we share a tremendous opportunity in Lexi."

She smiled at me.

"You really turned out to be a good man," she said. "I hate to say this, but I'm proud of you."

I kissed her softly on the cheek.

"I'm starting to become very proud of you, too," I said.

"So, are you guys coming with us as we shop until we drop today?" Jill asked from the doorway with look of obvious relief on her face.

"You know it," Suzette said brightening. "I just got a huge back child support payment. Mom gave me my allowance when I got here yesterday. Lexi and I are going to make up for some lost time."