Chapter 40

I had anticipated Beth's question, but no so early.

"Outside of you and Bailey," I said. "I have not had intercourse with any of them. In fact, you are the occupant of this house I've most recently had intercourse with."

"But you're Tanner's father, aren't you?" she said, but I shook my head.

"I'm going to work very hard toward being his dad, but he was sired from the loins of another," I joked.

She asked if I planned to have sex with all the women.

"No, Beth," I said. "I'm hoping that Bailey and I will get back together. We're going to spend some time — alone — over the next few weeks to see if we still connect. We each grew up in the last few years."

Beth's face broke out in a huge smile.

"I'm so happy for you, Robbie," she exclaimed as he hugged me hard. "It has been so hard watching you the last few years. You've tried to hide it but I could see your unhappiness, your lack of fulfillment."

I didn't think that was the case.

"I've missed Bailey," I said after a moment's thought. "But I've missed you just as much. And I miss Mack and Ellie and Sara the same way. I miss Tom. I miss all of you."

"But Bailey is the one you're supposed to be with," she said forcefully. "I've know it since the first time I saw you two together. Honestly, it is why I never made a major push for you. Those months between her leaving and you leaving were hard for me.

"I had convinced myself that you and I could do fine as a couple. Hell, I think we still could if it came to that. But you never loved me like you do Bailey. I know it and I'm OK with it. I've come to realize the R.J. I loved most was the one with Bailey. You're so good together."

I broke out laughing much to Beth's annoyance.

"She said that you and I are like the two halves to a whole," I said. "I bring out your maturity and you bring out my fun side."

"It's the same way with her," Beth said. "That is exactly it. When Bailey is around you — or at least back then — she was nicer and more thoughtful. She was less self-centered. You were friendlier and more open. You laughed more and were less obstinate about things.

"Bailey missed the boat. It was never me that brought out that in you. It was always her. I just happened to be around a lot at the time."

"Bullshit," we heard from behind us.

"You forget that I was around him during the summer, too," Bailey said as she sat down. "He never relaxed until he was with you. He was never comfortable until you were there. It drove me crazy, Bethie. And I'm so sorry."

Tears rolled down Bailey's cheeks.

"I never had a friend like you, Beth," she said. "I never had someone that I could talk to like I could talk to you. I didn't have someone who was willing to tell me I was full of shit sometimes.

"But I was too blinded by my feelings for R.J. and my own inadequacies to get past that and be a friend back to you. I would like to be friends like that now."

Beth put her arm around Bailey's shoulder.

"I'd like that, too," she said.

My only part in Amelie's surprise shower — though how it could still be a surprise, I didn't know — was to make sure she was out of the house from 4:30 to 5 p.m. Well, that and providing the facility and baby sitting the kids. Come to think of it, I'd probably have to clean up after everyone too. This sucked. Oh, well, I'm sure everyone would make it up to me.

I thought about an elaborate plan, but figured that would only tip our hands if, by some miracle, Amelie wasn't aware of the plan.

I decided on the direct route.

"Hey, let's make a break for it," I said to Amelie about 4:15. "Tanner is fed, the others are doing God knows what, and you haven't been out of the house since Wednesday — unless you count the hospital. How about I treat the new mom to an ice cream cone?"

She asked me to let her tell someone she was leaving.

"They know," I said. "Let's book."

I grabbed her by the hand and headed for the door with Amelie giggling every step. I helped her into the Fiat and away we drove — and not a minute too soon because it seems some of the guests had been awaiting our departure. I had no more than turned the corner when I saw Jenny's van scoot down the street we'd just vacated. I picked a Brewster's as far away from the house as I could find and we sat down to a double chocolate raspberry milkshake.

"Are you OK with the way things are working out?" I asked. "I know you've been through a lot in just a little time."

Amelie said she was doing wonderfully.

"The atmosphere at the house is so relaxing," she said. "It's like pure joy. At any given minute you can see someone doing something nice for someone else for no reason, just because it's a nice thing to do. It's like a little Utopia away from all this.

"If you'd put in an ice cream stand, I would never leave."

I told her we'd need an ice cream stand, a grocery store and a bar.

"I hope you don't think it's going to be this way always," I said. "We have a lot of different personalities and sooner or later someone is bound to piss off someone else. If there's one thing I'm sure of it's this: eventually I'll do something really stupid, and most of you if not all of you, will want to skin me alive."

She told me we'd all be in that place before long.

"But part of being a family is forgiving," she said. "I know this to be a fact from my own life. I heard you say this once and I think it's true: 'If you're mad, you got two choices. Get over it, or be mad for a hell of a long time. Either way is OK with me 'cause I don't give a shit if you're mad or not.'

"I happen to agree with that now, but I didn't when I heard you say it. If you're mad at me and I apologize because I did something dumb, it's OK to be mad for a little while longer. But after a while, the only person you're hurting is yourself. Right?"

I told her I agreed, but that it had taken me a long time to figure that out.

"I've been mad at people literally for years," I said. "I'm sure there are people who've been mad at me longer than that. I came to learn I didn't really care who was mad at me because I'd done my best to atone for my mistakes. And the ones I was mad at didn't care either because they'd moved on to more important things."