Chapter 42

I crawl into bed and feel my whole body go limp. I hear the door in the kitchen and hear Nick in the kitchen putting my keys on the counter. I hear him walking down the hallway. His steps are quiet and soft. He comes into the room and sees that I am awake. "Hey, you look tired. Everything okay?" "Yeah." I say. Nick strips down to his boxers, smiles softly at me, and slides into bed next to me. I wrap my arms around him. "Do you trust me?" I ask. "Yes I trust you. Why do you ask?" "I am just exploring the trust in our relationship." "Well I trust you, and I love you deeply." "Lets just say that I take you and tie you to a chair, would you trust me that I wouldn't do anything to hurt you?" I ask him. I feel his body tense up. "Of course I would trust you. If I did it to you would you trust me?" "Yes I would." "Where are you going with this?" he asks rising up on his elbows. "Nowhere, I just am asking." I try to change the subject. "You think that Teddy harmed Shelly?" I ask him. "I think something is going on there. She is very quiet about him." I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I kiss Nick on the lips and slide down under the covers. "Goodnight." "Goodnight sweetie." We kiss and I drift off to sleep. I start to dream, I am dreaming about the clerk at the store and the things we talking about. I start to dream that he has me tied to that pole and comes towards me with a bullwhip. I hear it snap close to my ear. I hear him laugh the worst wicked laugh I have ever heard in my life. It felt like it was from the devil himself. I can feel his hot breath on the back of my neck as I struggle to get free. This is what you want. He whispers in my ear. I don't want to be there anymore, I try to say the safe word to make him stop. I can't get myself to say it. I discover I am gagged and I try the safe sign, but I cannot remember what it is. I roll around in the bed trying to make the dream leave. I jump awake when I see him draw back on the whip hearing it snap back ready to come forward and strike like a rattlesnake. I was glad when I woke and saw that I was in my bed. "You okay?" Nick asks holding me. I didn't even feel him wake up and touch me. "Yeah, just a bad dream." "Want to talk about it?" he asks. "No, I will be okay." I can feel myself shaking. I lie back down on the bed. I can still feel my heart racing. I do discover that this dream didn't make me wet or excited. I am wet only from sweat. I curl up into a ball and snuggle back into Nick.

The rest of the night was still restless and uneasy; I didn't want to allow myself to fall into that deep sleep. I stayed on the edge of sleep and unconsciousness. I hear the alarm but don't move to shut it off. Nick rolls over and pokes me. "Hey that's the alarm, we have to get up and get moving." I roll off the bed and walk to the shower. I turn the water on. I shave the unwanted hair off as I always do. Despite the lack of sleep I still have to assure myself that I am cleanly shaven. I don't ever want to be in an accident and not be cleanly shaven. I would wear dirty underwear before I would go poorly shaven. You can always say that the underwear got that was because of the accident. I step out of the shower and allow Nick to finish his part up. I dress in a navy pencil skirt and white blouse. I top it off with a matching Navy jacket. I pull on a pair of suntan pantyhose before I get dressed. I adjust the toes. I look down at them. Nick walks in and he starts to get ready too. He takes his Navy suit out with the light blue shirt. "You want to tell me about the dream last night?" he asks. "I don't even remember it." I tell him. Knowing I can relive the whole thing in my mind as if it just happened. I decide I am going to go back as soon as I can and talk more to the clerk. I find that I have more questions that I need answered. I go to the kitchen and pour myself a cup of coffee. I sit at the table in a daze. Nick walks in and kneels next to me. "What is wrong, was that dream that bad?" I look at him and come back to earth. "No, its not that, I am just thinking about what all I have to do today." "Come on, that is not a look of what is in-store for you today. That is a look of you had a dream that something bad happened." I smile. I wished that I could tell him, but I didn't think I could yet. I pick up my purse and start for the door. "You coming?" I say to him and kick up a heel. I see his eyes hit my legs. He follows me like a lost puppy. He opens the door for me. I do my usual and slip my shoes off before he makes it into the car. As he slips in I place my foot on his lap. "Do you think that you could ever hurt someone for your own pleasure?" I ask him and watch his reaction. There is a long pause. "Hurting someone for your own pleasure is not right. That is abuse and assault. If it is a married couple that is domestic abuse. Why do you ask?" I had to come up with a reason. "Oh I just over heard a woman talking in the deli how her husband would do things to her to add to his pleasure, but she didn't enjoy it at all and how it was very painful." "Are you worried I am like that, is that all the questions about trust are about?" "Oh heavens no!" I look Nick straight in the eyes when I answer. Nick and I say little more on the way to work. I feel Nick's warm hand on my foot. I can feel how much he loves to rub my foot. I don't think that Nick could ever hurt me to please him. I don't think he has that in him, I think if he ever tied me he would touch me like Pete touches Amber. With love and respect.

We pulling to the lot and see Shelly standing next to a yellow car. We can see she is arguing with someone in the car. We get out of the car and can see it is Teddy. As we walk up he speeds off leaving the smell of burnt tires. Shelly stands there for a second. For a minute I thought she was hurt but Teddy. I thought maybe he rode over her foot and she was in shock. "You okay?" I ask her. She is standing there with her mouth open. "I can't believe him!" she says. "What happened?" "He told me that if I didn't dump Andy from my life he is going to make sure Andy doesn't want me." "Its time to get a restraining order out on him Shelly." She looks at Nick and nods. "We will help you get everything in order." We all three head for the elevator and wait for it to make it to the floor, none of us say a word. We enter the office and Andy is standing outside the Office. I can see Shelly is still shaking. Andy can see the shock in her eyes. He pushes up his oversized glasses. "He was out there again wasn't he?" he asks Shelly. She can only nod. We watch Andy ball up his fist. I could see tears welling up in Andy's eyes. He looked like a little boy in a schoolyard that has been bullied for years and has had enough. He was ready to take on the world. I could feel the heat radiating off from him. "Let's not do anything stupid, lets let the police take care of it." Nick says looking at Andy. We all saw Andy come back to the world around him. "I am just sick of this guy doing what he is doing to Shelly. We can't even go out on a date without him harassing us." Andy balls his fist up again. "I just want a piece of him." Shelly says nothing and goes to her desk and turns on he computer. "All I want is for him to go away. I told him I wanted out." I felt a shiver run up my spine. I heard the voice of the clerk in the store talk about someone saying something about "Wanting Out" and what that meant. I started to wonder if Shelly was into the dark-side. Nick looks at his watch. "I have to run, I have a meeting in ten minutes. I give Nick a kiss and he and Andy head for the elevator. I pat Shelly on the back as I walk past. "If you need anything let me know." She nods.