Chapter 1

I sit at my desk trying to look back at my life. What have I done in it that I can look back on and feel good about? I never travel, I never go out with friends. The most exciting thing I have done in the last month is take my cat to the vet. My name is Kim, and I am thirty-five years old. I am five foot seven inches tall and weigh one hundred twenty-five pounds. I am the office manager of a large company that makes parts for aircraft. I take care of myself. But for some reason I don't have many dates. Its not that I don't want to, I just get so nervous around men. I have had my share of dates. Some that were good, and some that were really bad. Some I would love to forget. I often have been told that I should not be appointed the office manager job; People tell me that I am too submissive around others. That I fall apart, and give in to others and never put up a fight for what I believe in. I am not aggressive enough. Look at how I am dressed. I have on a sweater with the sleeves pulled down to my wrists and it buttoned up to my neck. The wool skirt that I am wearing is below my knees. I have tan control top pantyhose and a pair of old granny shoes on. The reason I call them granny shoes is because my grandmother is the one that got them for me. She said, "Never wear heels to work, honey. The men will think less of you if you do." So I wear the pair she bought me.

"Its hump day!" Shelly yelled as I walked in to my office. Shelly is the little blonde that was hired to be my assistant. I hated her. She is a perky twenty-one year old, a fresh out of college girl ready to take on the world. She is a want-to-be cheerleader, but never made the cut in college. I just wanted to punch her in the mouth every time I hear her voice and lay my eyes on her. She always wears clothing that that is too tight. She was a bit what I like to call "Fluffy". My polite way of saying a person is bit over weight. Not fat, but having a bit of extra skin and flab. What kills me is she thinks she is all the main course of the meal and the dessert too. Kind of like the extra value meal and the prize you get with a kids meal, but she is the adult version of the toy. Today she had on a white silk blouse that was at least two sizes too small, and a mini skirt that is way too mini on her and for some reason she thought black fishnet pantyhose's would top it off, She had a few toes sticking out in a few places. That is something I would never think of wearing to work. And a pair of five inch spiked strapped heels. "Ms Kimberly, guess what? I finally fit into a size 6!" she shouted loud enough for every one in the office to hear. I have been going to Trim's for three weeks now. Trim's is an all ladies club that helps you lose weight. She must have only lost about six ounces. I just about started to laugh. She should be wearing a size 12 not a size 6. "That is nice Shelly." Okay I lied to her. I wanted to tell her, she was more than a few sizes short of a size 6. I went into my office and started to laugh in private. I picked up my phone and started to dial Amber to tell her about Shelly. Just as the phone rang Shelly walked in to my office. I quickly hung up the phone before Amber answered.

Amber and Pete are my best friends; they are always going on wild vacations, going to clubs around town and having friends over to their big beautiful new house. Amber and Pete don't have any children. But they are always telling me about the wild sex they have. I blush every time they talk about it. I don't understand why they don't have twenty kids by now. One day Amber was making jokes about what great knots that Pete can tie. Now I don't know if she is just kidding or if she really meant what she said, until that day. I was over at their house and she showed me their special room. As they call it. It looked like a dungeon from the mid-evil times. It had a big X in one corner. It had several collars hanging on one of the walls. Several pairs of handcuffs and legs shackles. It had leather hoods that had zippers where your eyes and mouth are, and come had snap on blindfolds. It had big red ball-gags. There were several other strange looking things I would love to know what they are used for. She told me to never tell anyone, not even Pete that I saw the room of both of us would be in trouble. She gave an evil laugh. Now what she meant by that I don't know if I really know if I want too. A strange feeling comes over me when I think about it. I don't know if I am grossed out or excited about the prospect. Amber was always into the wild life, I don't know why this would surprise me about her.

Suddenly Nick walked into my office. Nick is the manager of the shipping department. For the most part I guess we are equals in the world of business. He is about forty years old with dark hair; there is some gray starting to show in it. But it looks good on him. He dresses sharp. Today he has on a black t-shirt under a blazer with black slacks and a pair of loafers. He is not married. He was married for a short time years ago, but his wife was killed in a car crash on the expressway. He said it was from a road rage incident. He doesn't talk about it much and he has never found anyone again. He seemed to like living alone. I could smell his cologne as soon as he walked into the room; I take a deep breath as he walks in, drawing it in deeply hoping it would stay in my mind for the rest of the day. "Did I interrupt anything did I?" he asks. "No!" I say. I can hear the quiver in my voice. I again have become submissive to a man. If he walked in and told me to kneel before him and take him in my mouth I would have no choice but to do it. I just cannot be aggressive with anyone male or female. "I have those reports you wanted." He says. "I will leave them on your desk and you to your thoughts." "Thank you." Thank you ... Is that all I can say? What the hell is wrong with me? As he walks out of the room, I bang my hand on my forehead. Just as I am doing this, he walks back in and sees what I am doing. "I was wondering if you could help me out after work?" "What can I do for you?" I ask him. I try to sound stern and forceful, like I have better things to do then help him after work. "I know you live on the south side of town, I was wondering if you could give me a lift home after work?" "Sure I said." My heart starts to race. "My car is in the shop today." He thanked me and left. I could still smell him in the room after he left.

I sit at my desk watching the clock. It is only four o'clock yet. Come on time hurry up. I think to myself. I find that I am getting a little excited about driving Nick home. I feel something I haven't felt since I was in high school and I had my first real date. I find myself getting a bit wet. I start to wonder what I would be like to date Nick. He is every woman's dream. Handsome, smart, witty and okay sexy as hell. There I said it. I hear a knock at my door. "It's five, are you ready?" I jump. "Just a second, I have to turn off my computer." Oh my god, I can't believe that I lost track of time. I wanted to be ready when he walked in. We didn't talk as we walked to the elevator, neither one of us said a word to the other. My legs are like jello. He finally broke the silence. "I really appreciate this, my mother had to drop me off this morning. My car wouldn't start this morning." I couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry." I said trying not to look at him. "It's okay," There was a pause. "I don't live with her, if that is what you are thinking. I have an apartment on 139^th. Just me and the cat." "I go past 139^th every day." I said. "I know. I asked around to see who would be best person to ask for a ride home and not make them drive out of their way." My heart deflated when he said that. Inside I was wishing and hoping that he set this all so he could meet me. I guess that a girl can dream. We hit the parking garage. Now I don't have any sports car or anything, but the car I do have gets me around. The most exciting part of it is the color. Flame red. Okay, the color is nothing to get excited about. But it's my car. I own it. I don't owe the bank a dime on it.