Chapter 4

Looking me straight in the eyes, Todd asked again. "George, what do you mean, No?"

By this time Lori was standing next to him. Pointing my finger I said. "Look at her. She is taller, stronger, and out weighs me by seventy pounds. I am a hundred and thirty-five pound weakling. I will not do it. I know I will drop her, and it will hurt her, maybe kill her."

"Look at me George." Lori's voice cracked like a whip. This was the voice of the woman who ran a multi-billion dollar company, not the rape victim.

As I lifted my head to look at her, Lori grabbed my chin in her right hand. Firmly she tilted my chin until our eyes met. Looking into those dark brown eyes it was like my soul was melting. I could feel everything slipping away. All I wanted was to sink into those eyes and never come up. At that moment, it hit me. If she would let me I would spent the rest of my life with this woman. I did not care if she made me sleep on the floor in the kitchen while she slept with a husband in the bedroom. It did not matter, I wanted to be with her. The thought of being separated from her was unbearable.

"Earth to George." Lori shook my head slightly, and my mind seemed to clear.

"Lori, I love you. Please let me stay with you." I would have started babbling, but Lori placed a finger to my lips while making a shushing noise. Her eyes held a look of concern.

"George, we will discuss this later. For right now we need to complete this exercise."

"But, I'll drop you."

"If Todd says you can hold me up, then I believe him. Besides, he will be right behind you in case I slip. George, you will be my ground guide. Do you understand?"

"Y ... Yes, if that is what you want."

"It's what I want."

With that we lined up for the first part of the exercise. Lori and four other women lined up to climb the tower. Lori was second in line, so we waited while Amanda climbed the tower. As she started across the rope bridge, Todd started Lori up the tower, then came to my side to provide advice and encouragement. At first I was holding the safety line so tight I was almost jerking Lori up the tower. With directions from Todd, I eased off the line a little so there was a constant amount of slack.

When Lori reached the bridge, I tried to put tension in the line. Placing a hand on my left arm Todd reminded me to allow slack in the safety line. Otherwise I would pull Lori off the bridge. After an eternity, Lori reached the other end of the bridge. Leaning over the hand line, Lori looked down and shouted.\, "Ready." With that she spread her arms and leaned back. She moved into a forty-five degree angle and stopped. My hands were frozen around the safety line. Before starting the exercise each of us put on a pair of heavy leather work gloves. My hands were gripped so tightly on the rope, I could feel the leather sinking into the weave of the rope.

Gradually, Todd convinced me to loosen my grip on the line until Lori started to slowly descend to the ground. When her feet touched the ground Lori opened her eyes and looked at me. "For a hundred and thirty-five pound weakling, you have a grip of iron. I would gladly trust you with my life again if I needed to."

I was breathing like I had run a race. My breath came in great gasps, and my heart was racing. "I ... I could have dropped you. I have never been more scared in my life. I can't believe I just did that."

Lori approached me while untying the safety line from her harness. Placing her hand on my shoulder she asked. "Are you ready to go partner? Do you trust me?"

"Lori, I trust you. Even if you drop me, I figure it's what I deserve."

"Don't worry I won't drop you. After we finish this I want to talk to you about something you said earlier."

"You mean when I said, I love you?"

"Yes, that is what I want to talk to you about."

Over the next few minutes Lori and I reversed our positions, I rigged my harness to be a climber and she rigged hers to be a ground guide. Christina, the other Ropes instructor, was first in line with Amanda acting as her ground guide. I understood now how nerve wracking the job was, and did not envy her. I was right behind Christina but would not start climbing until Christina was back on the ground. Todd was working as Amanda's coach, so he did not want to start anyone else until there was someone to coach their ground guide.

I stood at the base of the tower trying to calm myself. Suddenly a hand touches my shoulder and Todd tells me to climb the tower. Hand over hand, one step at a time, I climb until the bottom rope on the bridge is next to me. Climbing a little more, my feet were level with the bottom rope. The safety line hangs slack in front of my face.

I may be terrified of women, but heights don't bother me. Reaching the level of the rope bridge, I decided to take a look around. Grabbing a handhold with my right hand I swung my left foot out along with my left hand until I was facing away from the tower. Below me I heard a gasp. Looking down I saw Rhonda about five feet below my feet. She looked up at me then stared at the tower as if it held the secret of life.

"You're not going to jump are you?"

"No, Rhonda, I'm just looking around to see what I can see. At home my favorite thing is to go up on the roof of the apartment building after dark. I sit on top of the ledge and watch the city lights. It gives me a sense of calm. I feel so free staring off into space like this."

"Can you PLEASE move onto the rope bridge so I can get this over with?"

"OK, no problem."

I swung back and stepped onto the rope bridge. Moving about a foot down the bridge, I stopped. Rhonda continued up the tower until her feet were even with the rope bridge. Holding the hand rope with my left hand I reached out my right hand until it almost touched her left hand.

"Rhonda, take my hand to steady yourself. Sally has the safety rope, you won't fall. I'll steady you while you step onto the bridge."

Rhonda grabbed my hand with a death grip. It felt like she would squeeze my hand off.

"Rhonda, I'm already afraid of women. Squeezing my hand off will not make me less afraid of you." I managed a forced laugh. "Ease up a little. I'm just giving you something to steady yourself on. I promise Sally won't let you fall, honest."

With that she eased her death grip and started to move onto the rope. As she moved onto the rope, I moved farther from the tower. Keeping my left hand on the guide rope, I started walking backward across the rope with Rhonda trailing me as she held my hand.

"George! George!"

That was Todd calling me. Craning my neck I looked down and spotted him.

"Yes, Todd do you need something?'

"George, let go of Rhonda's hand. She has to do this on her own. I know you want help, but she has to do it on her own."

"Dropping my hand I looked at Rhonda. "You heard the man. I guess you and Sally have to do this without me."

With that I started backing across the rope bridge watching Rhonda the entire time. I realized I was at the end when I bumped into the other tower. Looking down I could see Lori holding my safety line. I was about to put my life into the hands of the woman I just insulted by implying I was worthy of loving her.

Looking down, I yelled. "Lori, you're not mad at me are you."

"No, George. Lean back and trust me, I will not drop you."

"Ready."

With that I closed my eyes and leaned back. I could feel myself start to fall, then the safety line went taut and my descent slowed to a gentle fall. It was like sinking into a very soft bed, the fall was so slow. Suddenly my heels were touching the ground and I rocked forward to stand up. Lori reached out her hand to steady me.

We untied the safety line and moved away from the bottom of the tower. Moving back from the tower I said.

"I have never been more scared than when I leaned back. Heights don't bother me, but after I insulted you by saying I love you, I was afraid you would drop me."

Lori gripped both of my hands pulling me close. Shaking her head she said. "George, George, no one should ever be insulted when someone says they love them. Even though I don't love you I'm flattered you love me. Especially, given what you've been through."

While everyone else finished the Ropes course, Lori and I talked. She was not surprised by my declaration of love after being in group with me. As she put it, "Your Mother made you a submissive and I'm a strong woman. Subconsciously, you need someone to protect you, and a strong woman is the perfect match."

She then went on to explain that she did not want a lover she had to dominate. Her perfect man was one who would be an equal partner in everything. In her opinion, I would never be an equal partner in any relationship. What I needed was a woman who was dominant, but did not derive pleasure from inflicting pain. Lori said she knew a woman like that, but she would not tell me who she was, or how to meet her. Lori did promise me that when she thought the time was right, she would introduce us.