Chapter 3

Just as I tried to swing the knife down into my body someone grabbed my hands and held them immobile above my head. My Dad's angry voice boomed, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He quickly took the knife from my hands. Then he picked me up with one arm around my waist and took me back to the dining room.

There he put me on a chair while Mom and Remo were watching with confusion. Mom asked, "What happened?"

Dad scowled at me and said in a growl, "She just tried to kill herself with a knife."

Mom gasped, and Remo looked at me with a mix of anger, pity and surprise. I already felt bad, I didn't need this. I hid my head in my arms and tried to hide from it all. Someone began hugging me. I could feel that it was Mom. 'Of course only Mom hugs me.' She softly whispered, "Why honey? I raised you better than this, right?"

I took my arms from around my head and put them around Mom. I started crying, shaking from all my sobbing. Mom stroke my hair and said, "Just let it all out honey."

I wailed, "I don't wanna be a girl. I just wanna be my old self and play basketball and football. And I don't want to be a hybrid. I look hideous and grotesque with this big tail. I don't ever want to go out or to school. They will make fun of me, harass me and even assault me like they did Marjorie." I paused for a moment, "I don't wanna live anymore. Just let me die now."

Mom kept on hugging me, "Honey don't say things like that. It'll be all right. I don't want to lose you. Please promise me that you won't try to kill yourself anymore."

I still kept on crying, but was lost in my thoughts as my words struck a nerve within. 'The detective had been right. it turned out I wasn't immune to MORFS myself. And maybe I was right as well and it is a punishment from God. I certainly had been bad. And I do know that now I too have to look forward to attacks, harassment and ridicule from former friends and classmates. Now I can also understand what Marjorie must have gone through. I can relate so much more to her now. And I'm glad that I hadn't been there when she was assaulted.'

"Mom, I'm so afraid. I mean, look at me. Everybody will stare at me. Do I have to go to school?"

Mom shushed me, "It will not be that bad. Besides you'll have your brother there with you."

I snorted, "A lot of good that will do me. He's never backed me up before."

"Maybe he'll surprise you this time, sweetheart. Just go with the flow." She paused for a moment. "How are you feeling now?"

"A little better, I'm sorry for trying to kill myself. I didn't mean to hurt you and Dad. I just felt so awful."

Mom hugged me again, "That's okay honey, we understand that you're going through some tough times. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I need to take you to the MORFS center in Des Moines."

I started to whine, "Do I have to? I don't wanna go out and certainly not to a big city looking like this."

Mom however was adamant, "Yes you do and we're going early tomorrow morning as the roads are still passable at the moment. Who knows how much snow we are going to get this winter?"

I pouted at her, but she didn't budge. I went to bed early as I didn't feel like watching any TV that night. I've been going to bed on my own for quite a long time already, so I was unpleasantly surprised that my parents came to my room to tuck me in. I whined, "Why are you here? I don't need tucking in or something. I'm not a small kid anymore."

Mom shushed me, "You're our girl now, and we are worried about you sweetheart. You did try to commit suicide already. We really don't want to lose you, so just humor us." Mom treated me like a little girl and gave me a kiss on my forehead. Dad gave me slight kiss as well and I was mortified and enraged. 'How dare they treat me like a kid?'

After they were gone I started tossing and turning as I couldn't get to sleep. My new body still freaked me out and I started thinking about all the bad things that could happen to me now. I started to cry sob very softly and cried myself to sleep.

Even in my dreams I wasn't safe, as I got hunted by everyone in school. The girls called me a pervert, the boys lusted after me or simply wanted to kill the animal. Even my fellow MORFS survivors were hunting me, saying that I wasn't good enough to join them. Out of breath with my heart beating very loud and fast I woke up. I was panting like crazy and suddenly it struck me. I had fur now and like all animals I couldn't perspire, so to expel excess heat I had to pant just like them. 'Damn this disease. I really am an outcast now. I don't understand how Mom and Dad can deal with it so easily. But then again they don't have to live with it like I have to.'

I was afraid to go back to sleep and just turned on my reading light. I picked up my favorite book, an old sci-fi novel titled, 'A World Called Treason', and started reading where I had left off last time. The main character just learned how to utilize temporal powers, though he wasn't very good at it. He already did have the power of moving and talking to earth and stone. I started thinking, 'Wouldn't it be cool to have some sort of power like that? Just being able to talk to earth and stone and have it move and do whatever you wanted it to do. Or having a power like going faster or slower through time. That would come in handy at school. That way I could just walk past all the bullies while they were frozen in time.' But I woke from my daydreaming realizing that I couldn't very well avoid them all the time. And what was more important the character from the book was almost immortal, able to regenerate his whole body. Without this ability, whenever he went to fast time, he would age so quick that the people around him would just see him age years in mere minutes.

Then I heard a knock on my door. Hesitating, I said softly, "Enter?"

Mom opened my door saying, "Good you're awake already. I'll help you shower again and then we have to be off to Des Moines. Now, come on don't dawdle, get out of bed."

I groaned, but put my book back in its usual place and followed Mom to the bathroom. It did take more time again then I usually needed, but with Mom's help it went quicker than I had feared. I had to dress in the same clothes as yesterday again. But Mom already washed them the night before. I didn't want to admit it, but I needed new clothes.

A little later we had some breakfast and were off driving on the roads that were cleared off snow at the moment towards the big city. At first I looked outside to the beautiful countryside, but soon I felt bored and dozed off a bit.

I woke up when Mom shook me, "Wake up honey, we're at the MORFS center."

Woken rudely from my dreamless slumber I looked up. 'Did I nod off?' As I looked around, I saw only a strange parking lot in front of a big dark looming building. I guess I must have fallen asleep during the drive over here.

Mom took me into the center, and we were told to make an appointment. They could fit me in about 2 hours from now. so we had some time on our hands. Mom decided that we should go shopping for some clothes then. There was a mall close by and Mom practically dragged me in there. As we looked for a clothes store to do my shopping, a security guard walked up to us and said, "I'm sorry Ma'am, but all pets have to be kept on a leash here. Even when you dress them up like a human."

I practically exploded, "I'm not a PET."

The guard wasn't fazed at my outburst. "Like I said all pets and the alike need to be kept on a leash, or I will have you removed from the premises."

Mom gave him a cold hateful stare and took me back outside into the street. I complained, "Now you see, Mom? People won't even consider me a person anymore."

"Honey, don't let bigots like that moron get to you. You're still my child and nothing will change that."

I sighed, "I know Mom, but I will be on the receiving end of everything. I don't know if I can deal with it all."

Mom did her best to console me, as we went to another even bigger mall. Once inside we looked for clothes stores when a boy pointed at me, "Look Mom, there's a big squirrel."

The woman with the boy looked at me and said, "Don't point Tommy, it's not polite. And keep away from that animal."

My mood sank another notch as we walked on. At the first store we wanted to get in, we got barred by a burly salesman. "I'm sorry but animals are not allowed in this store. Please leave the beasty outside."

I was ready to commit murder at that time. "I'm not a pet or an animal. I'm a person like yourself, idiot."

He snorted, "No need to get abusive, store policy is no animals allowed, no matter how sentient they may be."

Mom's eyes spit fire to the man, but took off with me in tow to another store. Before we could arrive there, two security guards walked up. I groaned, "What now?"

One man harrumphed, "I'm sorry madam, but there have been complaints about your ... whatever."

Mom was furious and with barely contained anger said, "How many bigots are there in this city. My daughter went through MORFS and all you can see is an animal? I'll report this to the authorities."

The other guard said, "Go ahead madam, I wish you good luck with that."

We were both extremely upset at the treatment we got there and left the mall immediately. Once outside, a woman spoke to us, "Hello there, I'm sorry for intruding, but I overheard a bit of your trouble. It pains me to see that people here are so intolerant to the new situation with hybrids. By the way I think you look lovely my dear." She said to me.

"Thank you Mrs. Eh..." Replied my Mom.

"Stein. Bertha Stein is my name. Some groups of people to which I belong as well, are trying to change things, but it's slow going I'm afraid. Now, I doubt you would have found anything for your daughter to wear in those stores even if they did let you shop there. But I know off a little boutique that would be willing and able to sell or even make some clothes for you."

Mom thanked Mrs. Stein and she took us to the small store not too far from where we were. There the owner, a nice lady called Cynthia, took my measurements. I told her, "My name is Sinthia, but it is spelled as Es, Eye, En, Tee, Atsj, Eye, A," she smiled at our names sounding so similar.

Cynthia was a bit apprehensive about my special needs with all the fur and tail. She did have a solution though, she would alter some of the clothing herself and have it ready when I would get back from my MORFS evaluation. In the mean time she gave me a sort of bathing suit to wear. She said I would need it for my physical test at the center. I wondered what she was talking about, but the sound of it appealed to me already.

I tried the bathing suit out in the changing room and though it was very revealing, too much for my taste actually. However it was very comfortable and gave me lots of room to move in. Next I tried some clothes that the woman had given me to try on and showed them to Mom and Cynthia. After all the measurements were taken and I tried on some more clothes, it was almost time for my appointment, so we quickly went over to the center.

First we had to fill out some paperwork, which Mom mostly did. Then I got called in for a talk with a Psychiatrist. Her name was Cherida Woolsey, and she began with an apology, "I'm sorry, but we don't have any telepaths or other psychic endowed morfed people on our payroll at the time. We do hope to enlist one in the future though. In the mean time we can't be certain if you have any powers. Unless you already noticed something, all we can do is talk to you and guess."

I looked at her, 'Powers? What was she talking about!' Then I knew, a few of the people that morfed gained a kind of super power. But most people did not. Well I hoped to be one of those few, but with my luck I'd probably didn't get any.

Cherida continued in the mean time, "So I see here that you changed quite a bit, from a normal boy to a girl with squirrel characteristics. Well, I must say you are the first squirrel hybrid I have met. But you look cute."

I scowled at the woman, I didn't want to look cute.

"So tell me Sinthia, how do you feel about changing into a girl and a hybrid?" asked Cherida.

"I hate it! I used to be a big boy and now I'm a small girl." I started complaining, "I can't play basketball or football anymore, and being a full hybrid sucks even more. I just know everyone at school will make fun of me or even hate me enough to do bad things to me. As small as I am I can't even defend myself anymore."

Cherida tried to soothe my thoughts, "It won't be all that bad, there are laws against people behaving like that."

"Yeah," I replied bitter, "We already encountered that before we came here. The guards in two shopping malls wanted us to leave. Well, one guard actually said, that I should be kept on a leash at all times."

Now Cherida looked astonished at me. "Really, you should report it, they can't do something like that. Not with more people morfing all the time."

I sighed, "Now, I know how a few decades ago the black people must have felt. And how Marjorie must have felt a few days ago."

"Who is this Marjorie?" asked Cherida.

I looked down in shame, I had called her an abomination and a freak. I even said to the policemen that people like her should be thrown out of the country. And here I was just as much an abomination as her.

"Sinthia? Please, tell me about her. I can see that you are troubled over her."

I started rambling on the verge of tears, "I used to like her, before she morfed into a badger hybrid. Some people attacked her, raped her and left her to die in the snow. I wasn't there, so I don't really know who did it, but I think Gary and Phil were amongst them. The police questioned me, but I didn't tell them anything. In fact I was a purist, and spoke out against morfed people. Now I am one of them and I feel ashamed, I just want to die. I am a female squirrel hybrid and I don't deserve to live anymore."

Cherida started in a firm tone. "Nonsense, you deserve a life of your own. Don't talk about wanting to die just because you changed a bit. Do you know how many people I have seen already? Some hybrids felt like you, but after a while they accepted it. Why should you be any different? Everything happens for a reason and it is your mission in life to find out why. Now, I won't say this is going to be easy for you, but afterwards you'll be stronger because of the experience. Promise me that you won't have those dark thoughts anymore."

I looked up at her, "But, how about..."

"No buts, Just make something of your new life. Now those boys you mentioned, I guess they were friends of yours?"

I nodded, and she continued, "It is up to you if you want to report them now. If you do, it may prevent them from launching an attack on you. On the other hand, it may trigger an attack out of revenge on you."

I thought about it, but couldn't make up my mind yet. In the mean time Cherida started again, "Are you religious? Do you go to church much?"