Chapter 15

"No, we need to get those supplies out there as quickly as possible," Sophie told the convoy leader. "They stopped being scavs the moment they agreed to become part of Phoenicia, and I don't want 'em to start regretting their choice. Take Mr. Murphy, over there, to show you the best route."

Mr. Murphy was a lanky, rawboned man who was missing a number of teeth. Sophie had originally estimated his age to be between seventy and eighty, but after a shower, a change of clothing, and a few good meals, she realized he probably wasn't much older than she was.

He had come into HQ two days ago to check out the rumors that he had heard about his people being part of Phoenicia. He had seemed more than a little surprised to find out that they were true.

"What if it's an ambush?" the convoy leader had been chosen for his experience, and Sophie wasn't about to second guess him.

"You keep your eyes open and your guard up," she told him, "but remember, most of these folks just want what we have to offer, and if they can get it without risking their necks, they'll be pretty happy for the chance. I don't want anyone getting killed unnecessarily - us or them, okay?"

"Roger that, Colonel," the leader, though technically a civilian at the moment, sketched a salute. The operation was military and as long as he was working for her, he was under her command.

"Also, don't forget to get them signed up for training. Census is a nightmare in a new territory this big, and we're going to have to get a handle on it as quickly as possible so we can send Phoenix a reasonable budget for integration."

"Well, I, for one, will be happy when we get some real roads out here," the convoy leader told her. "What's left from before the sickness is pretty useless, now. If we didn't have the tracks on these vehicles, we'd never make it to most of the places we need to get to."

"You want me to send a SeaBee unit with you, to help clear the way?"

"Let me see if this enclave is big enough to warrant the expense," the convoy leader told her. "If it is, you can have 'em follow after me with some bulldozers. Otherwise, we'll make the best trail we can, and try to improve on it each trip."

"All right, keep me informed. Now, what am I forgetting?"

"I'd say you've just about covered it, Colonel. We'll get a good night's sleep and head out at first light."

"Okay, stay safe." Sophie told him.

Turning back toward her office, she found Mark waiting for her.

"Oh, hi Mark," she smiled. "What can I do for you?"

"Marry me," he said quietly, his eyes boring into hers. "You know you and I belong together."

"We've been over this Mark," she told him, with an exasperated sigh. "I like you, it's true, but I'm not convinced that we 'belong together', and frankly, the suggestion that 'belonging together' is somehow enough to build a relationship on, irritates the hell out of me. You have presented every argument there is about why it's a great idea for us to get married, but never once have you told me how you feel about me."

"You know how I feel about you, Sophie," he replied, with an injured expression on his face. "Why can't you face it? You're destined for great things, and you need a husband who can help you achieve them."

Sophie stared, dumbfounded. Could he really be that dense?

No, she thought. He's not dense, just self-centered. He can't see beyond his own goals and aspirations. Like father, like son, I guess. Or is it that they were both influenced to pursue the ambition of the same person? Was Elizabeth's hand guiding Mark, as it had guided his father?

That felt about right, and Sophie knew, in that instant, that she had made up her mind about him. It didn't matter how Mark felt about her. He would be his mother's son as long as Elizabeth was alive, and would continue trying to do her bidding even after she died.

"You are a good man, Mark," she told him softly. "I hope that someday you discover who you really are, but you are not the man for me."

She had expected to see pain or anger in his expression. What she saw, instead, was stunned disbelief.

Rather than wait to see what he would do, she turned and headed for her office. She had not gone ten steps when she heard running feet behind her. As she turned, her mind, at first, didn't even register the fact that it was Mark Wyndham. All she saw was the board he had picked up to use as a weapon.

Her reflexes and training took over and in an instant, he lay screaming on the ground, his right arm sporting a second elbow halfway between the first and the shoulder. As the crowd started to gather, Sophie leaned over him and whispered: "Listen to me very carefully, Mr. Wyndham. I will not kill you this time, out of respect for your family, but you will not get a second chance. I want you on a truck back to Phoenix first thing tomorrow, and I never want to see your face again. Do I make myself clear?"

A pained nod was his only response.

The medics went quietly about the business of immobilizing the broken arm, then helping Wyndham to his feet. No one helped him to his quarters or to the infirmary. The attack had not gone unobserved, and there was no sympathy in Phoenicia for a man who would attack someone from behind, especially if he tried to use a weapon.

Sophie found herself shaking with adrenalin and anger as she turned to resume her interrupted walk to her office. Her anger was not directed at Wyndham so much as at the sheer stupidity of the act. It had been seen by a number of people, and the reputation Mark had built as a fine military commander would be overshadowed by the cowardice of that one act for a long time to come.

"Remind me not to piss you off," Ramon said quietly, falling in beside her.

"Don't attack me from behind, and you've got nothing to worry about," she told him, the adrenalin still sizzling in her veins making her words more harsh than she intended.

"I know," he said, still quietly. "I saw that. Want to talk about it?"

"Not..." Sophie began sharply, then stopped and took a deep breath before continuing in a softer tone. "Not right now, 'Mon. I didn't want it to end like that." A short bitter laugh wrenched itself from her mouth. "I don't make a habit of breaking up by breaking arms, you know!"

A firm hand on her elbow steered her away from her office and into an empty building that was sometimes used to warehouse supplies destined for the far reaches of the new territory. Sophie protested at first, but not very hard.

Once inside, Ramon said nothing. He just wrapped her gently in his massive arms and held her. To her surprise, Sophie burst into huge, wracking sobs which only got worse the more she tried to get them under control. Long minutes passed with the silence of the warehouse broken only by the echoes of her tortured attempts to breathe through the suffocating need to force the tatters of her broken heart out through her lungs.

Ramon stood in silence, holding her; supporting her, even as her knees felt as if they would give out under the weight of her sorrow. Why the hell was this affecting her so badly? Had Mark meant that much to her? Images of her father came unbidden to her mind, and she finally understood that it was not the loss of Mark that hurt so badly. It touched memories of that desolate time when she had waited in vain for her father to return. She had thought that all of that was behind her, but the wounds now seemed just as fresh, and just as agonizing.

For a time, lost in her sorrow, Sophie despaired of ever being free of that pain, but gradually, she realized that this was not a resurgence of the old nightmare. This, she began to understand, was the long-postponed grief that the uncertainty surrounding her father's disappearance had denied her. Until recently, there had never been a time when she had known that he was gone. Even after accepting that he was never coming back, she had held onto that faint hope that some miracle would return her father to her. Breaking it off with Mark had somehow substituted for that long-delayed event, and now her heart was pouring out that final grief that it had held onto for so long.

That knowledge didn't make it any less painful, but, she now understood, it was something she had needed for a very long time.

Sophie did not know how long she stood sobbing into Ramon's chest, but finally, wiping her eyes on her sleeve, she gently disengaged enough to look up and see the concern on his face.

"I'm no expert, Sophie," he said sadly, solicitously, "but it seems to me that if breaking up with Mark has this much effect on you, it might not be the best thing for you to do."

She cupped his cheek with one hand, still gazing into his eyes, and gave him a wan smile.

"It's not about Mark, 'Mon," she told him softly. "One of these days, I'll tell you all about it, but not today, okay?"

"Of course," he shrugged, relief washing over his countenance, "but just so we're clear: Is it something I've done or said?"

"No," Sophie shook her head slowly in denial. "You did exactly the right thing. Thank you. In fact, since you showed up here, you've done nothing but right things where I'm concerned."

That boyish grin that had so captured her heart in school appeared again as he answered, "I aim to please, fair lady."

Sophie laughed, genuinely, as she disentangled herself from his arms. "Do me a favor and get us a couple of horses when you pick me up tonight, will you?"

"Oh, am I picking you up tonight?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"Aren't you?" she answered over her shoulder, one eyebrow elevated.

"I guess I am," Ramon laughed. "And what time shall I call on your highness?"

Sophie couldn't keep up the act in the face of his roguish grin and burst out laughing.

"About half an hour before sunset should do," she answered. "Now leave me alone. I've got work to do!"

Linda met her at the door of the outer office and beset her immediately with questions, "Okay, spill it, girl! What happened out there!"

Suddenly, Linda's voice dropped to a level none of the others in the office could hear. "Oh! You've been crying! What's going on, Soph?"

"I'll tell you inside," she nodded toward the door to her office. "You might as well bring Kyle so I don't have to tell it twice."

A quick jerk of Linda's head was all it took to bring Kyle away from his desk and set him on an intercept course so that he caught up with them just as they entered the inner office. He didn't have to be told to close the door behind him.

"I guess you heard," Sophie told her friends as she turned to face them. "I broke it off with Mark."

"That's not what I heard got brok ... Umph!" Linda's elbow to his ribs cut Kyle's satirical response short.

"That happened later," Sophie told them. "I guess he didn't take too well to rejection, and came after me with a board he had picked up. I defended myself."

"Okay, so what's with the red eyes?" Linda asked, "I never figured you for being that emotionally involved with Mark."

Sophie told her friends, as briefly as she could about the grief she had poured out into Ramon's shirt.

"Ramon? Aha! So you've made your choice!"

"No," Sophie shook her head in denial. "I've just decided it's not Mark."

Kyle and Linda gave each other that look that told her they didn't believe her.

"Okay, what?!" she asked sharply.

"Oh, nothing," Linda said nonchalantly. "Nothing at all..."

"Linda... !"

"Oh, come on, Soph! You're so head-over-heels for Ramon that everybody knows it except you! You keep thinking this is a choice you have to make with your head, when your heart's already decided!"

Sophie, flustered, tried to change the subject. "So have you got those budget projections I asked you for?"

"I've got them, dear," Linda told her, "but they won't change the way you feel about Ramon."

"All right, all right, come on. I've got to get some work done! Kyle, how are those road construction projects going?"

"They're on schedule except for the bridges," Kyle answered, his expression telling her that he knew she was avoiding having to think about what Linda had said. "A couple of the bridges they thought they'd be able to re-use are too rusted out to be safe. They'll put in pontoon bridges and temporary ramps until the SeaBees can demo the old ones and rebuild them. It'll still be about six more months, but the plan is good. Those new roads will give us access to all the regions in the new territory and make supply delivery easier, then we'll be able to get the crews in to start restoring the electrical grid. By the end of the year, the major population centers will start looking civilized again, and the first couple of classes of trainees will be able to come in and help us with the restoration."