Chapter 14

Sophie was so busy after the arrival of the convoy that she had little time for either Mark or Ramon though in her quieter moments she had to admit that at least some of the work that kept her busy could have been done by others, especially now that Linda and Kyle were here.

It was not like her to avoid problems, but in the realm of her love life she felt like a fish out of water. Other than her lifelong relationships with Kyle and Linda, Sophie had never made any serious connection with another person before now. Mark, however, by simply showing up, had declared in no uncertain terms that he wanted something more than friendship from her.

Ramon, on the other hand ... Well, perhaps he was not a problem after all. Yes, she still felt a rush in his presence, but perhaps that was just the memory of her schoolgirl crush - a crush, she reminded herself, that she had never told him about. He probably didn't share her feelings, which, in a way, would be a relief. At least, she rationalized, it would leave her free to nurture what she had felt growing between herself and Mark in Indiana.

With these thoughts in mind, she had begun to convince herself that Ramon felt nothing for her - that she could put her crush aside and move on to the serious business of seeing if she and Mark could build something substantial out of what they had begun. Sophie was, in fact, on her way to find Mark to tell him of this when she rounded a corner and was bowled over by someone coming the other way.

"Sophie!" Ramon's shock and chagrin could have been about knocking down his commanding officer, but she imagined there was more there, especially when he continued, "I was just on my way to find you! Are you okay?"

"It'll take more than running head-on into Gunny junior to hurt me," she laughed nervously, springing to her feet and dusting off her fatigues. "What did you want to see me about?"

It was only after she was standing that she noticed the hand extended to help her up.

"I ... That is..." Sophie had never heard Ramon stammer like that and wondered why it quickened her pulse. "Look, can we go somewhere more private to talk?"

Sophie had to look up at him from this close, and she studied his face for several seconds before replying. Deciding she didn't know what she was seeing in his expression she started to answer, "Sure. My office is..."

"No," he interrupted with a peremptory shake of his head. "No, this isn't business. It's, well, it's something I've been wanting to talk to you about for a long time."

Heart in her throat, Sophie had to try twice to get her answer out. "Luh ... Let's walk down to the river."

It was about half a mile from HQ to the banks of the Mississippi, and neither said anything until they stood, gazing through the weeds at the wide, muddy waterway.

Ramon seemed not to know quite how to start, and Sophie was both anxious to hear what he had to say, and fearful that it would be what she so longed to hear, so they stood awhile in silence. Finally, she could stand it no more.

"What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?" she asked, her voice barely carrying above the gentle susurration of the river.

Ramon turned abruptly and wrapped both of her hands in his. She realized with a tiny shock that his were even bigger than Kyle's mighty paws.

"You know, when we were in school," Ramon said, rushing as if he had to get it out before he lost his nerve, "I always thought you were the most beautiful girl in Phoenix - maybe even in Phoenicia."

"Me?!" Sophie blurted. "You hardly even knew I existed!"

"I knew," Ramon said with a solemn nod. "I knew, but you were Gav's little sister, not to mention Gavin and Amanda's daughter. Even before I left to join the military, kids were calling you Doña, and well, I just couldn't see you having anything to do with the likes of me."

Sophie stood staring at him, unwilling to believe what she was hearing.

"Anyway, you had those two friends of yours. It was pretty clear you didn't need anyone else..." he continued, trailing off at the end, disconcerted by her lack of response.

Sophie, still in a state of shock, finally responded by laughing uproariously, further confounding her companion.

Gradually, she got herself under control enough to explain, "You fool! I had the biggest crush on you! All you had to do was give me some indication..."

"But I thought..."

He broke off and the two of them stood there beside the water staring at each other, still holding hands. Sophie's heart was in turmoil and her emotions rushed from hope to despair to joy and back to hopelessness as her mind tried to consider all that it was hearing and all that she had hoped and all that she had done.

Again, silence reigned as each tried to wrestle meaning from the turmoil of emotion and memory.

Finally, in despair of losing her sanity, Sophie wrenched her hands from his grasp and turned away.

"You can't just waltz back into my life and drop this on me Ramon!" she cried to the river. "I have responsibilities! Mark and I..."

What about Mark? What did they have? Something, surely. But was it enough? She didn't know, but she owed him ... something. A chance to pursue his case, perhaps. She almost laughed.

Yeah, that's it, she thought, incongruously, I could have a contest; see which one's a better mate.

"So there's no chance?" Ramon asked softly, taking her by the shoulders. "You and Colonel Wyndham are committed to each other?"

Sophie shook her head, not sure how to answer.

"We ... We're not committed," she replied, finally, "but, there's something. We started something in Indiana, and he obviously thought to continue it when he came back here. I can't just turn my back on him."

"I understand," he said sadly. "I guess I shouldn't have waited. I just thought ... Never mind. I'm stationed here, and you're my boss. I guess it's a bad idea trying to date my CO, anyway."

With that, he turned and walked away. Sophie heard his footsteps pause, and she pictured him turning once more to look at her, but she kept her eyes on the river. What else could she do? Her heart desperately wanted to call him back, but her mind kept telling her it would only complicate matters.

She stood there, alone with her thoughts, until another voice broke through.

"What was that all about?" To her surprise, Mark's voice conveyed suspicion and not a little jealousy. "Was he bothering you?"

"You followed me?!" she turned on him in anger, her confusion over Ramon turning her surprise into a defensive reaction.

Shocked, Wyndham took a half step backward. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay, Sophie!"

"What ever gave you the idea that I couldn't take care of myself?!" Sophie knew that her reaction was way out of proportion, but she was helpless to stop it. "That was a private conversation, and none of your business!"

"So there was something going on with you and the Major!" Mark's face was red, and as quickly as it had arisen, Sophie's anger faded.

"No, Mark," she sighed, wrapping her arms around him. "It turns out that Ramon and I once had crushes on each other when we were in school. We're not in school anymore, and a lot of water has flowed under the bridge since then. I didn't know how he felt about me and he didn't know how I felt about him. Now..."

Her voice trailed off as she shrugged.

Wyndham stood stiffly within her embrace, not backing off, but not returning it.

"So there's nothing between you now?"

"I don't know, Mark," she looked at him pleadingly. "I don't know, but I thought you and I had started something, and I owed it to you to see where that would take us."

"So it's to be a contest then? Me against him?" Mark replied, still angry.

"No, Mark," Sophie sighed exasperatedly. Why couldn't he understand? "I just don't know what to do. You and I haven't exactly pledged our undying love, and I don't even know if there's still anything left of what I once felt for him. I just need time to think - to sort things out."

"If it's a pledge of love you want, I'll give it to you right here, right now," Mark said, making as if to kneel in front of her.

Sophie pulled him upright and said, "That's not what I meant, and you know it! You're not making this easy for me Mark!"

With that, she turned and headed back to the compound, without turning to see if he would follow.

Sophie knew she was making a mess of the whole situation. It was not like her, but she was in unfamiliar territory. It was one thing to love someone you've known all your life, as she did Kyle and Linda, and quite another to deal with affairs of the heart that involve virtual strangers. Sophie didn't want to be unfair to either of her suitors, and certainly, Mark had the strongest claim upon her, but something just wasn't adding up in her mind or in her heart. She knew that she would be able to figure it out if she could just get herself under control, but that was the problem.

Still lost in thought, Sophie headed for the refuge of her office, thinking that work might bring some order to her thoughts.

"Hey, Soph," Linda called as she came through the outer door, "You want to take a look at these requisitions before I send them out?"

"Can it wait?" She asked, a little irritably.

"Sure it can," Linda replied, following her into her office and closing the door behind herself. "Okay, kid, what's up? You haven't been yourself since we arrived and now something's happened that's really screwing with you."

"How... ?" Sophie started to ask, but her friend interrupted.

"I've known you all your life, Soph," Linda said softly, "and I've never known you to shirk you responsibilities, so spill it. What's going on?"

Sophie leaned into Linda's embrace. "I don't know, Lin," she sighed. "I mean, Mark and I started something in Indiana, and it's pretty clear that he wants to continue. When I left him there, I did too, but then Ramon showed up..."

"Ramon? Oh..." Linda trailed off as her memory caught up. "Crap, Sophie, do you still have that crush on him?"

"I - I don't know, Linda. I mean, I thought I was over him, but he just caught up with me and you'll never guess what he told me."

"What, you mean about him having a crush on you, too, or was it something else?"

"How did you know that?"

"Hell, girl," Linda laughed, "everybody in school knew that except you! Remember how we used to tease you about it?"

"Well, yeah, but I just thought it was the same kind of teasing we were always doing, you know?"