Chapter 52: Walking Softly

Sunday was one of those days you loved and hated all at once. You loved it because this is what living in California is all about, and you hated it because as soon as the thousands of tourists in town on vacation went home and told all their friends about it, and showed them all the photographs, a million more people would be moving to Southern California. It was also a bittersweet day for us as a family. Today would be our first weekend barbeque since the Davises had died. Dad had decided it was time to diversify our culinary education as well, starting with me. The opening lesson turned out to be going to the grocery store for steaks and side dishes. Fortunately Allison chose to sacrifice valuable sun-worshipping time to go with me, so it wasn't all that bad.

"Hey," she said. "Next week it will be my turn and you'll have to drive me so this is only fair. Besides, there are some things we need to talk about."

The grocery store is kind of like the mall in that respect. As long as you're not in someone's way they pay no attention to you. You can talk about anything in a grocery store and no one will hear a word as long as you don't say things like 'sale' or 'discount'. As we were cruising the aisles I asked her what was on her mind.

"Well, several things to be honest," she said. The grin on her face left no doubt what she was talking about but then she went on. "But for right now, I think we may have blown it with Tanya last night."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "Blown it how?"

"Not so much blown it as just overlooked some things. Jimmy, she said she's been doing all this to protect her niece, Missy. If Missy is one of the girls, then it stands to reason that Missy's parents are involved as well. We forgot to get anything from her on them or Missy. Also, I'm curious how they made a connection with Tanya? So far it's always been immediate family. Tanya isn't involved in the regular sense; she's just taking Essex's abuse to protect her niece. Now that would imply that there is some other connection, either to the group or to Essex personally, don't you think?"

"I don't know, you sort of lost me there, but if I go slowly enough, yeah, it sounds right. So you're suggesting that Tanya is what, an aberration; something different from the norm?"

"Yeah, something just doesn't seem right there. I think you need to go back and talk to her some more."

"Certainly couldn't hurt. I'll add it to our to-do list. Everything else about this group is so closely monitored and controlled ... you're right, and for the record I'm really tired of telling you that all the time." We were pushing the cart together at the time so I gave her a little bump with my hip so she would know I was just teasing. "All of that makes something like this stick out even more. It just doesn't fit the pattern."

"That's what I was thinking. So, what did Jamie find out about Atkins last night?"

"Well, the good news is it's not her that's following me. The bonus there is that means what I did with Rebecca held up."

"That is good news. So is knowing that there are people out there in the right places working to make sure the right thing gets done, even if it means bending the rules a little bit. Of course, at the same time, it's a little scary knowing there are groups in our government that operate on an 'ends justifies the means' basis."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It's a good reminder to keep my head down."

"And the bad news?" she asked.

"Nothing you wouldn't expect. She's changed her cell phone."

"Which I'm sure Jamie already got the number to. Anything else we need to know about her new phone?"

"Of course there is," I said with a smile. "It's trapped through the Department of Justice computer system, everything gets recorded. I shocked the crap out of her when I called the first time. She's not used to surprises and that was a big one. Not to mention what happened after the call. They are very interested in me at this point. They'll be recording all the calls and doing sound analysis on everything they pick up.

"And we get around that how?" Allison asked. This was almost identical to my conversation with Jamie while we were running this morning:

"We call the other one," she'd said with a big grin. I know that sounds weird, but we've all done it; you know, it's that 'smiling inside' feeling you get sometimes. Only in my case I get to feel it from someone else.

"She has two," Jamie continued. "One is DOJ, and the other is listed under a fake name on an account in New York. Should really freak her out when you call her on it. I think you need to be a little more serious with her when you call. Tell her we know about the other phone and if they pull any more shit like that we're going to take it personally. Point out that we're trying to help them and that if they want that to continue they need to play nicer. You can point out that since the only other person who's supposed to have the number is her boss that you are not without other resources."

"And did you find out who her boss is?" I asked.

"No," she answered. "I was a good girl; I just got the information we needed. The cell phone sort of came up in conversation along the way."

"What else did you do?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" Her innocent little girl tone told me I was right, that she had done something else. The question was what? I ran in silence for a short ways, thinking about what I would have done if it had been me instead of her.

"You implanted something we can use later if we need it. I'm guessing a sleep trigger?"

"I thought it might be useful," she admitted. "If all else fails you can make her forget the conversation, or even pull her into a dream and plant some ideas or thoughts we want to pass along so that they will occur naturally as her own and let her act on them herself."

I gave her a mental kiss on the cheek. "You are such a good girl!"

Mom was waiting for us when we got back from the store.

"You had a call on your new phone while you were gone. She said her name was Britney. I told her you went to the store and left it on the charger. She sounded worried. Jimmy, why would she be worried?"

"Mom, she's a girl, how would I know? Not answering on the second ring would probably be enough." Not really an answer, but not a lie either.

She just rolled her eyes and walked away shaking her head. "We're not that bad. And I thought you said you were just getting it so Rebecca could reach you? Did you get everything your father asked for?"

"Got it all right here," I answered, following her into the kitchen. "Including an extra bottle of sauce and a new fire extinguisher."

"I should tell him you said that," she laughed.

"And I picked up some potato salad."

"Oh good, I forgot to put it on the list. Maybe you could try and talk your friend Angela into giving you her recipe?"

I thought about it for a second and it was startling to realize that Angela would actually give it to me if I told her to. It was also very humbling to know that I could take a secret she held so dear. Last night I had given her to another person like I would loan a CD. Granted it had been to Elizabeth, whom I trust more with Amber than I would trust most anyone at school with a CD, but still, the idea of giving Amber to another to use for their pleasure didn't bother me as much as taking the secret of her potato salad. Somewhere I had turned a corner and not even realized it.

For now I just said, "I'll think about asking her, but personally, I'd rather wait and let her make it for us when we celebrate catching this bastard and giving her back her life." I let my face and voice go serious before I continued. "One thing, Mom, please don't refer to Angela in the present tense, ever, until this is over. No one, not even her family, is supposed to know she is still alive. It took me most of the summer to break the habit. Allison finally beat it into my head by pointing out how bad it would be to say it in front of Tim."

She didn't answer, but her face paled and she nodded. I kissed her on the cheek as I reached for the phone so she'd know I wasn't angry or anything.

"Hi BC, my mom said you called?"

"Hi Jimmy, yeah, she said you were at the store, so why didn't you take your phone with you?"

"You know how it goes," I said. "I forgot to put it on the charger last night and it was about dead. So naturally that's when you would call. If I'd had it with me, something else would have come up and you wouldn't have called until later. Probably while I was in the pool or something and couldn't get to it."

"You have a pool!" she said excitedly. "Damn, I should have started dating white boys sooner. So when can I come over?"

She kind of caught me off guard with the white boy comment; it never occurred to me that I might be the first white guy she'd dated.

I guess I hesitated too long because she suddenly sounded worried, "Jimmy, it's not a problem for me to come over is it?"

"What?" I asked, and suddenly I knew what she must be thinking. "NO! God no! I'm sorry Britney; you kind of threw me with the white boy comment. It never occurred to me that I was the first handicapped guy you'd been out with. No, definitely no problem with you coming over."

"Handicapped? What are you talking about?"

"You know, pigmentationally challenged, melanin deficient..."

"Oh that," she laughed. "Damn boy, you had me worried there for a second, I thought maybe there was something wrong with you, like parts missing or something. So you're parents aren't going to like, freak out because you're seeing a black girl or anything like that?"

"No of course not, why would they do that? Yours didn't freak out that you were going out with me."

"Well, no they didn't 'freak out', but daddy and I had a little talk last night after dinner."

"Well yeah! He's your dad; he's going to have questions about any guy you bring around. But I'm sure none of his questions had anything to do with the fact that I burn in the shade."

She cracked up at that. "Okay, but you know what I mean, some people are still like, stuck in the eighteen hundreds. I just want to make sure there's no problem."

"Well, there is one problem," I said. "Do you have like a burka or something you could wear? Because I'm afraid I might embarrass myself if your bathing suit looks anything like my sisters."

"Shut up!" she laughed.

"Okay, okay, I'll try to behave myself. Can you stay for dinner? My dad is going to make some kind of sacrifice on the barbeque. I'm not sure what but it doesn't matter because you won't recognize it when it's done."

"You got a pool and free food? I'm all over it. Can I bring anything?"

"Besides the burka?"

"Boy, don't make me hurt you."

"Promises, promises ... No, you don't need to bring anything. Do you need me to pick you up?"

"Not unless you want to, I can just use my mom's car."

"Hmm, let me think ... thirty minutes alone in a car with you, each way ... or let you drive yourself? Gosh that's a tough one. Is an hour too soon to pick you up?"

She blew me a kiss and hung up. I told everyone we were having company for dinner and dad decided that we should do charbroiling lessons some other time.

"It just wouldn't be fair to ask company to eat your mistakes."

"Very funny dad, by the way, the hair on your arm is coming back nicely..."

The whole idea of me dating had been a topic of debate when it first came up. Allison and I had already discussed the problem of needing visible boyfriends and girlfriends, and they understood the need although my mom was a little worried, as I was, that it may not be fair to the other party to get their hopes up if there was no chance of a real future. Allison had handled that argument.

"Mom, people would be seriously suspicious if neither of us was dating. I mean, I can get away with it for a couple more years because dad's such an overprotective tyrant, love you daddy," she blew him a quick kiss, "but Jimmy has attracted a lot of attention over the last year. Taking Angela to the prom put him on the social map in a major way and a lot of girls are already showing an interest. If he doesn't have a girlfriend, people are going to start wondering why. You can only do the bereavement thing for so long. And it's not like there's no chance. We're both young, and while we don't think so, there is the chance that this thing with us is just a phase and we'll grow out of it. We'll always love each other, but that doesn't mean that God doesn't have someone else in mind for either of us." Then her voice changed, a strong edge of sadness creeping in, and she said, "Besides, things change, you know..."

It was painfully obvious to everyone what she meant and that ended the discussion.

Britney was ready and waiting when I got there. I shook hands with her father again and informed him that I had invited her to stay for dinner. "I know it's a school night, Mr. Cotton, would nine o'clock be too late to bring her home?"

"Nine o'clock will be fine. Britney? You do have all your homework finished?"

"Yes, Daddy," she said, hugging him and giving him a peck on the cheek. "I love you, see you later."

"I love you too, baby. You be good now, you hear?" The door closed but I'm pretty sure he was watching through the side window as I held the door and handed her into my truck.

I was a little surprised to find that she had slid into the traditional girlfriend spot in the middle of the seat by the time I got around to my side. It was a very pleasant surprise, but...

I took her hand and kissed it and said, "Britney, I appreciate the gesture and nothing would give me greater pleasure than to have you by my side while I drive, but I would be much more comfortable knowing you were safe, so please, I'd rather you were in the seat with the shoulder belt."

She stared at me for a moment before sliding back over and buckling herself in without a word.

I was afraid I'd hurt her feelings. "Britney, I'm sorry but..."

"Jimmy, don't apologize. That was very sweet of you to say that. Most boys just want a girl plastered to their side every second they're together."

"I'm not that insecure," I said. "I'm much more concerned about your safety than that you're going to get away. Besides, I'm a distance runner; that little bit of head start isn't going to be enough for you to get away."