Chapter 32: The Long Moments

Jimmy

Now that I had done what I could to keep Phoebe safe, the only thing I wanted to do was go see Shannon. I called my parents to see if they had heard anything yet, but I got voice mail so I figured they were either still with the lawyers or already at the hospital and had turned off mom's cell phone. Dad doesn't carry one; mom didn't either until I got mine, but then she figured it made sense that I have a way to reach them if something came up so they wouldn't worry. They still couldn't call me, but at least I had another option besides leaving a message on the recorder at home. Since it was now just a waiting game I headed back over to Susan's to see how the girls were doing. Whatever else the day may have in store, I thought it might be a good idea to do a little shopping for Phoebe as well.

They were watching 'Little Women' on Susan's DVD player; Susan on the couch and the girls were curled up on the beanbag. They stopped the movie as I came into the living room.

"How did it go?" Allison asked.

"We've done all we can for the moment. I was hoping to get a little more done but Rebecca got called to Washington so she had to leave right away. Phoebe, how are you doing today? You look better, but I know better than to trust my own judgment when it comes to women. Growing up with this one," I jerked a thumb in Allison's direction, "It was a painful lesson." That got me a giggle.

"It's not my fault you're a slow learner," Allison said innocently.

"I'm still a little scared," Phoebe said, "but it's a different scared, you know? I feel safe for the first time in months but I'm still a little scared that I'll have to go back."

I glanced at Allison and she met my eyes and nodded. I turned to Susan, "Susan, this is going to sound strange since you don't know what's going on, but you'll have to wait a while for an explanation." I sat down on the floor opposite them and took a breath, "Phoebe you are as safe as I can make you at the moment, and I'm not done yet but I'm waiting to hear from someone that may be able to help. If it works out then I can do more, but for now we'll just have to do what we can.

"Phoebe, there are some things that you need to know. When I promised you yesterday that you would never have to go back to your aunt and uncle, did you believe me?"

"No," she admitted. "I wanted it to be true but I knew you were just saying it to make me feel better, and that you really couldn't promise."

"If you hadn't told me all that stuff first, you would be right. But when I heard what you had been through I knew it was a safe promise. Phoebe, there is no easy way to say this and I'm very sorry to have to tell you, but your Aunt Vivian and Uncle Duke are dead; so are Carly and Regina."

I waited for what I had said to register. First she looked at me like she was waiting for me to start laughing and say it was a joke. Then she looked at Allison with the same hope. The look on Allison's face told her that she had heard me correctly.

"No," she said, turning back to face me, her lip starting to shake and tears starting to flow. "No, you can't know that, you're making it up." She turned back at Allison and in a desperate voice said, "Allison? It's not true is it? Please say it's not true."

Allison reached for her, tears in her own eyes at the girl's pain, "No baby, it's true. They died a couple days after you left." Then she took Phoebe into her arms and held her as the sobbing started. It didn't last as long as I expected. Then she stopped and sat back up, wiping her eyes, and said, "How ... how did you know? You said you knew it was a safe promise to make. How did you know?"

"Phoebe, I don't think you would be surprised if I told you your Aunt and Uncle were not nice people, would you?"

She shook her head, "No. I saw what they were doing with Carly and Regina, what they wanted to do to me. I mean, I'm sorry they died, but no, they weren't nice people."

"Right," Allison said, taking over the next part, "What you don't know is that they were part of a group of not nice people that live in that area. You know those appointments that Carly went to on Saturdays? She was going to have sex with other people in the group. Your aunt and uncle knew that, and when she was older, probably not much older, Regina would start doing the same thing. The reason you had to stay in your room when your aunt and uncle came home was that every night whichever girl's turn it was had sex with them every night when they came home. It was one of their 'duties' to welcome their parents home each night. If you hadn't been there it would probably have been both of them, but now one of them had to stay with you and make sure you didn't come out and see something they didn't want you to."

"Really?" she asked. "That's sick."

"Before you came," I said, taking over again, "I suspect that other girls came to their house on weekends as well, just as Carly went to other places, and your aunt and uncle had sex with them, and they made Regina and Carly have sex with them, and if any of the girls complained, they could be punished. I'm not going to tell you how they would be punished, but keep in mind that all of this so far has been their idea of treating the girls well."

"But why wouldn't they just tell someone, a teacher or policeman, or even a pastor, or..." Her eyes suddenly got big as a light came on somewhere. "He's one of them, isn't he? The priest at that so-called church they went to. He's one of them."

"We're not sure yet, but we think so," I answered.

"It doesn't surprise me," she said, shaking her head. "But still, why wouldn't they tell someone?"

"You remember when the girls told you that if you told anyone they would all get in trouble?" I asked.

"Yes."

"The truth is they might have been killed. You see others had tried it before. One girl went to the police and told them what her father was doing to her. He was arrested of course, but before anything else could be done, he was killed, right there in jail. And then the girl, her sister, and her mother were all killed that same night." She looked at Allison, and she nodded that I was telling the truth. "Another girl tried to run away, but they caught her. They sold her into slavery somewhere in the Middle East. I'm not really sure where but that's were they think she went."

Allison jumped in again, "Before she ran away, she told a friend of hers what she was planning. I guess her friend was part of the same group of girls. After they caught her they made her tell them who else she had told. She didn't want to, but they finally made her. When they found out the other girl knew and hadn't told them before it happened, they punished her as well. And they made all the other girls watch so that they would know what would happen if they disobeyed the rules."

Phoebe sat quietly, thinking about all that we had told her. "Who is we? You keep saying we, I guess you mean Allison too, but who else?"

"My friend that I asked to check on your aunt and uncle for me? Well, she works for the FBI." Behind her I saw Susan's reaction to that little jewel of information. She knew who Rebecca was from her investigation of Angela's disappearance, and that she was seeing Bob, but I don't think she had realized just how much I knew, and she certainly didn't know about our relationship. "We've been trying to find out who all of these people are. See, the problem is that unless we catch all of them at once... , we're not sure, but we think that the ones that we don't catch are sworn to kill anyone that's left. So, if we catch half of them, the other half would start killing some of their families or friends, and that way the ones that were caught would know that if they talked, their families would die as well. So we have to catch them all."

"But first you have to find out who they all are." She said.

"Right," Allison answered. "And we're still working on that."

"The good news," I said, "is that not all of them are doing this on purpose. Some are being forced to do it, blackmailed or threatened, or their families threatened to make them do things. There is a doctor that takes care of the girls if they get sick or injured or something, and he is being blackmailed. They did something to him, he's not sure what, probably drugs, but he went to visit some new friends his wife had made and they did something and when he woke up the next day they came to his house with a video tape showing him having sex with three girls about your age. They told him that if he didn't do what they said, that they would send the video to the police and he would go to prison. Prison people don't like people who hurt women and little kids; they tend to treat them bad and sometimes kill them. So for now, he has to do what he's told. He does his best to take care of the girls, and he waits and hopes that somehow, someone will find a way to stop them. He really doesn't care any more about prison, but he cares about the girls, and he is afraid of what might happen to them if he goes to the police."

"And these people killed Aunt Vivian and Uncle Duke and... ," she couldn't say the names.

"Well, I don't know for sure, but most likely, yes, and now they are looking for you, because they are afraid that you might know something and tell someone. So we have to hide you. That's why I've been telling you all this, because I wanted you to know how important it is what we're about to do, well, try to do."

"What are you going to do?"

"We," Allison said excitedly, "Are going to make you into a different girl; one that they'll never recognize."

"You mean like plastic surgery and stuff?" Phoebe asked, obviously not thrilled with the idea.

"No, nothing like that, just simple things. We're going to start by coloring your hair," Allison said, "Sorry, no more red, pink, blue ... nothing like that. You're going to be a blonde."

"Hmmm," I said, chin in my hand, looking hard at Phoebe, "I don't know, Allison, she's awful smart for a blonde. Maybe if we suck half her brain out? I could get a long hose..." I was suddenly overwhelmed by pillows as they started grabbing them off the nearby couch and throwing them at me. It was a good sign.

"Then," Allison continued once they ran out of pillows, "we're hoping we can get you some extensions so your hair will look a lot longer. You see, they are looking for a girl with short red hair. If you had long hair we could cut it, but they would expect that and watch for it. But no one would be looking for a girl with long hair because hair doesn't grow that fast."

"But wouldn't they think of extensions?"

"They might, but how would a little girl on the run with only a limited amount of money afford them, or a color job?" I asked. I saw the question forming in her eyes. "Don't worry about the money, we've got that part covered. Now for more bad news, you gotta lose all the hardware." I gave her a look that I hoped said, 'What choice do we have?' It must have gotten across because her face went from rebellious to 'you're right' in about two seconds.

"The best part is you get new clothes," Allison said.

"I get to go shopping?" She asked in an excited voice.

"Sorry," I said, "but no. Maybe later, but not right now. For now, Allison is going to go pick you out some stuff. Stuff with lots of bright colors, and flowers and..."

"Ewww!" Phoebe whined. "Fashion stuff? No way would I wear that stuff."

"Right!" I said. "No way would you wear it..." I left the thought hanging for her to pick up. It didn't take her long.

"This sucks!" she finally said, pulling her legs up to her chest and hugging her arms around them.

"Sure beats the alternative though, doesn't it?" Allison asked.

"C'mon Phoebles," I said chucking her chin with my finger, "It's not forever, just until we're sure you're safe, then you can go back to being the cute little punk rocker we all know and love."

She got the sweetest little smile on her face. Allison caught it and asked, "What?"

"He called me, 'Phoebles, '" she said. "My daddy used to call me that."

"I'm sorry Phoebe," I said quickly. "I won't do it again."

"No, that's okay, I don't mind," she said. "It reminds me of the man who loved me most in this world, besides Jesus that is, and just like you; he wanted most of all for me to be safe and happy. I think I'd like it if you called me that."

"Thank you, Phoebe. Now, you girls hustle off somewhere where Allison can get all your sizes and then we'll go pick you up some stuff. I need to call my parents and see if the doctors are going to let us in to see Shannon."

The news from Mom wasn't good. Shannon was in really bad shape. They didn't know how she had survived this long and didn't expect her to make it much longer. They were arguing with the doctors about the wisdom of letting us see her as she was, the doctors were arguing the merits of remembering a better image of her, my parents were arguing for saying goodbye and having proper closure. The jury was still out. I told her I would ask Allison but that I wanted to see her if there was any way possible to arrange it.

"Mom, have you ever colored hair before?" I asked.

"Once or twice a long time ago, why?"

"I'll explain later - I've got some stuff to take care of, but I'll call you back about noon and see how it's going. I really want to see her mom. I will always remember who she was, not what's left. If I'm going to lose her I'd rather say goodbye in person. Do what you can, okay?"

"I will, Jimmy, I know how much she meant to you both, I mean really meant, you understand, I never told your father, or Tom and Karen, but Jimmy, I could see how much you all loved each other, and I will do everything I can to get you both in if that is what you want."

"Thank you mom, that means a lot to me. I'll talk to you later." I walked back into the house and the girls were all checking out several magazines that Susan had pulled from under one of the end tables. The comments were encouraging.

"Yuck!" "Oh my gosh, no way!" "I can't believe people wear this stuff." To which Susan replied, "Hey! I have that dress and I like it." "Sorry." "Brat" "Okay, now that would be hot!" This one was followed closely by a very sarcastic, "Oh yeah, no one would ever recognize you in that! How about this one?" "Ewww!"

"Okay, okay, you've had your fun. We need to get going so we can be done early, so that if they let us see Shannon, this part will already be done. Susan, I'll call you when we're on the way back."

She nodded.

"Phoebe, try not to be afraid, okay."

"I'll pray for courage, and I'll pray for your safety, and I'll pray for Shannon."

"Thank you Phoebe. We'll be back as soon as possible." I turned to leave and just before we reached the door. "I almost forgot, is pizza okay for lunch?" Phoebe's eyes got huge and I won't even try to describe her smile. "I'll take that as a yes. See you soon."

"She is so sweet," Allison said when we were in the truck. "I thought she was going to faint when you said pizza."

"Yeah, that was fun. So, where to first? I have to stop at the bank first but then where?"

"I think we'll keep it simple, it's not like she's going to be keeping the stuff. It's just until we can find someplace safe for her." She laughed, "She'll probably burn them rather than donate them, afraid they'll make some other poor girl wear them. I think I can get everything we need at Target."

"You think two hundred will cover it?"

"You wish. Jimmy, the girl's got two pairs of underwear, only one bra and it's too small, the jeans she can keep but the rest has to go. She needs at least one more pair of jeans, a couple of dresses, shoes, socks ... Then there's makeup, a new toothbrush..."

"I get the picture, so what? An even thousand?" I had to concentrate hard to not let the truck swerve when she hit me. The bank was simple; I was in and out in five minutes with four crisp Benjamins. I hoped I had enough to still get the pizza. Something occurred to me on the way back to the truck. "I had a thought," I said as I was fastening my seat belt.

"Remarkable," she said. "That's two this month! You should see a doctor."

"Ooh, someone's feeling funny today. Seriously, though, let's not get too much today. Let's just stick with the basics, see how well we do with changing her appearance and then maybe have mom or Susan take her shopping if she can pass inspection. They can take her someplace far enough away that she's not likely to be recognized by anyone that's seen her around here. LA maybe. What do you think?"

"I think you're letting your heart get the best of you. Jimmy, I know it kills you to see her locked up like that but now is not the time. Safety first. It sounds nice but..."

"I know," I said with a sigh. "You're right, as usual, I'm thinking with my heart instead of with my head." When we reached the store I hesitated after I shut the truck off. "Allison, I talked to mom. Shannon's bad, really bad. She said they don't know how she survived or what's keeping her alive now. They're arguing with the doctors about letting us see her. The doctors think it would be best to let us remember her the way she was." I hesitated again. "I told her to tell them that I want to see her; that I want to say goodbye in person. She said she understood, and that she knew how much Shannon meant to me, and to you." She turned and looked at me and I nodded, "She said she didn't understand it, but that she knew how much we all loved each other and that if we wanted her to, she would do everything she could to get us in. I told her I would ask. Allison, is that what you want? I will understand if you don't want to."

"Jimmy, how could you even think that I wouldn't want to see her? I would be with her now if they would let me. Wouldn't you?"

"No, I would want to be, but until Phoebe was safe ... no, Shannon would never forgive me if I let something happen to her when I might have prevented it. Come on, let's get this done." It wasn't that bad really. Allison would try things on for me and the things I liked she would buy in Phoebe's size. I went and played video games while she bought the more intimate items and a supply of female products. We stopped by a beauty supply store and Allison told the girl that a friend of hers had dyed her hair red for her boyfriend a while back, but that they had broken up and she wanted to get rid of it and go back to blonde. The woman rolled her eyes, shook her head and then gathered up everything we might need. Then we picked up a large pizza and a two liter bottle of Diet Pepsi and headed back to Susan's. I called as we made the final turn onto Susan's street and she met us at the door. Allison carried the bags and I handled the pizza and drinks. Susan took the Pepsi which made it a lot easier to get the pizza through the door. Phoebe was nowhere to be seen, but as soon as we closed the door she stuck her head out of the bedroom and came out when she saw it was us. She couldn't believe all the bags Allison was carrying were for her, but I had guessed right and she was bouncing around like a puppy behind me as I carried the pizza to the table. Allison set the bags down and Susan brought plates and napkins. Phoebe rushed to fill glasses with ice and then bounced in her chair until we were seated. Yet as excited as she was, as soon as we sat down she reached a hand out towards each of us and bowed her head. I smiled as we all joined hands. Then Phoebe prayed.

"Father I thank you so much for the many blessings in my life. For my parents now in your care, for Aunt Vivian and Uncle Duke, for Carly and Regina, Lord I pray that they knew you and now find peace with you. I thank you for the new friends you have sent to me, and Lord I thank you most of all for the pizza. Amen."

"Amen," we echoed her and I finally reached to open the box. I thought Phoebe would melt into her chair when she took that first bite. After all of that, she only ate two pieces but she savored every bite like it was the best thing she had ever eaten.

Allison couldn't resist teasing her, "If I have to take all those back and buy bigger sizes..." but she couldn't keep a straight face.

"I love pizza," Phoebe said with shy smile.

"No, really?" I asked. "I never would have guessed. Okay, time for the fashion show. Let's see if we got the sizes right. Phoebe, be strong. I promise I won't take any pictures, so no one will ever know it was you wearing these clothes."

She tried on every outfit. Allison told me later that at first the sports bra was a total mystery to her, but Allison told her to do some jumping jacks. "Now picture yourself doing them with these, and she peeled off her shirt and started doing some herself. Of course all I got was a shriek of laughter. Then Allison put on the sports bra. And that was a feat in itself considering it was several sizes too small. Fortunately they stretch. Then she did a couple more jumping jacks and explained the long term affects of exercise and gravity. Phoebe drew the line at walking out into the living room in it.

Then it was time to call mom. The doctors still didn't like it but they had finally consented to let us in providing we promised not to sue for trauma later in life. She had arranged for us to get in shortly after four. I was just hanging up when a wave of dizziness hit. Fortunately, I was already sitting down because it was a bad one. I couldn't understand where these were coming from. Maybe I was coming down with something. I didn't usually catch the different bugs that seemed to perpetually be circulating, but I guess there was a first time for everything. I told Allison and she just nodded, then I hugged her so I couldn't see the tears. Phoebe politely looked away, and then I saw her close her eyes and bow her head.

I'm always nervous in hospitals; I never know what to do around sick people. This trip was the worst I'd ever felt. Maybe it was an offshoot of the dizziness, but I just felt ... I don't know.

Our parents were waiting for us in a room that had been set aside for family members just outside the intensive care unit. We were met by Doctor Spencer, who was in charge of Shannon's care. He briefed us once more on her condition and asked if we were sure we wanted to see her like this.

"Doctor Spencer," I answered, "when I heard that the Davises had been in an accident one of the first things that flashed through my mind was that I didn't even get to say goodbye. These are the people I love most in my life outside of those in this room. I have a second chance with Shannon. When I walk in that room I will see the woman I love lying on that bed, and only her. Yes, I want to do this."

He looked at me for a second and then opened the door. "Right this way." I took Allison's hand in mine, behind me dad took mom's and they followed us down the hall. All around us was the sound of that deafening silence people talk about. I could hear a faint echo of my dad's shoes clicking on the off-white floor. From various locations came the rhythmic beeping of the different monitoring systems. Finally, we were there, the doctor paused before an open door to give us one final chance to change our minds. The man knew his business; my parents didn't go in. My father nodded for us to go on without him as he held my mother and brushed away her tears.