Chapter 29: Phoebe's Story

When I got there Susan met me at the door and stepped outside to talk to me.

"She's been crying off and on most of the afternoon, but in between she told me what's going on. Her parents were killed two months ago while vacationing in Mexico. She spent three weeks in a children's center, then her uncle showed up for her. She wouldn't say what the problem is but it didn't work out so she ran away three weeks ago. She sold everything she had at a pawnshop and has been living off of it ever since, praying for a miracle. Apparently her parents were religious and she has a very strong faith."

I smiled, "Yes, she does. Do you mind if I talk to her alone for a little bit?"

"No, it's okay. It's you she wants to talk to anyway. If she wanted to tell me something she's had plenty of opportunity. Thanks for coming over." I nodded and went inside; Phoebe was curled up on a bean bag wearing a pair of Susan's pajamas. I was guessing they were Susan's because they were way too big for the girl. She was facing away from me so she didn't see me come in; probably thought it was Susan returning.

I walked over and squatted next to her, "Hi, Phoebe." At the sound of my voice she quickly wiped her eyes and turned to face me.

"Jimmy, I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in," she blurted out, still wiping at her face with the long sleeve of the pj's. "I thought it was Susan coming back and..."

"Shhh, don't apologize" I said, catching her hand to stop her for a moment. I took a tissue from the box on the floor and dabbed at the remaining tears, "You're getting your shirt all wet and you'll catch your death of cold in this air conditioning." She gave a barking laugh and then dissolved into tears again. I didn't say anything just sat down next to the chair and pulled her into my lap. She came willingly and when I had her settled I leaned us over so we were lying against the bean bag. I kissed her hair and whispered, "It's okay, Phoebe, tears are good for you. They're one of God's gifts to us; they help wash away the hurts, so just let them out and let them do their job."

I glanced up and Susan was standing just around the corner where Phoebe couldn't see her. I could see some streaks on her face as well. I shook my head at her and she went down the hall into one of the bedrooms and closed the door. As I settled myself against the soft chair and waited for the tears to run their course, I couldn't help but wish I had Allison or Easy there to help. Of course, Lizzy's usual healing methods were out but if Allison was right she could still help. After a while I felt the shaking stop and focused on the girl in my arms again. Her breathing had evened out and I knew she had fallen asleep. No problem, I could wait. In fact, if she stayed asleep long enough it might make things easier. No such luck; even as I thought it I felt her stir against me. At first I thought she was trying to pull away but then I felt her snuggle in a little tighter, take a big breath and let it out in a long sigh.

"Feel better?" I asked softly, kissing the top of her head and stroking her hair.

"Yeah, you were right; I really needed to get it out. I never really had the chance before. I was staying with some friends while my folks were away for their anniversary. One night the police showed up with this woman from the welfare office and told me my parents were dead and that I had to come with them. I didn't want to but they said I didn't have a choice. The people I was staying with tried to protest, they said they would like to take me in and start adoption proceedings. The woman told them they could start whatever they wanted but that for now I still had to go with her. They called me the next day and told me that they had filed the initial paperwork, but that it would take over a year just to get a hearing. Crying in the children's center was a great way to get beat up, and three weeks later my uncle showed up, I'd only met him once before in my life. That was ... five, no six, six weeks ago."

"Well, I'm glad I could be here for you. Phoebe, do you want to tell me why you ran away?"

"No, not really, but ... I guess I have to tell someone sooner or later. They're going to make me go back aren't they..." her voice broke and I felt her start to shake again.

"Phoebe, look at me." I pushed her away far enough for her to look up into my eyes, "I can't answer that unless you tell me what happened. I'm not a lawyer but I do know a couple, I know a few other people as well. I won't lie to you. You're a minor, and they are apparently the closest relatives willing to take you in. Unless you come up with a really good legal reason, yes, they will make you go back. Did something happen, did your aunt or uncle abuse you? Did you feel threatened or in danger?"

"Yes."

"Which part?"

"I felt like I was in danger. My aunt and uncle were ... different when I got there, I mean, they weren't what I would have expected from someone who had lost close family and were taking in their child. They were distant, like they were hiding something. They never talked much when I was around. They told my cousins, Carly and Regina, to take care of me." I could see she was getting into the scene mentally as she thought more about it and concentrating on the facts was helping her to separate the emotions out. "I knew something was going on that they weren't telling me, and then my second day of school I found out. They were having sex, with each other, right there in the living room. I walked in the door and there was Regina, naked on the couch and Carly had her face right ... you know... there and she was..."

"It's okay, you don't need to tell me, I understand. So how did they react when you walked in? How old are they by the way?"

"Carly is a year older than me, Regina is twelve, was twelve, she had a birthday last week ... I missed it."

"So you're thirteen, I thought you were a little younger."

"I was a preemie; I've always been small for my age. What was really weird was they didn't react at all to me walking in on them, like it was no big deal. Then Regina started to breath hard and shake and she was pulling on Carly's head like she was tying it pull it inside her, then she just sort of relaxed and Carly stopped, and then ... then she asked me if I wanted to be next! Well, I freaked out. I mean I'd heard of girls that, you know, like other girls but ... ugh, it still creeps me out just to think about it. I didn't even answer; I just ran upstairs to my room and closed the door. A few minutes later Regina comes in and sits on my bed, she was still naked and she didn't even care, she just sat on my bed and started telling me it's really important that I not tell anyone what I saw. She says they would get in real trouble. She said it like she was really scared."

She stopped and sat staring at the floor for a few moments. I knew there was more and I didn't want her to stop, "What happened next? Did you talk to your Aunt and Uncle about it?"

"No, I was afraid of getting them in trouble. Regina finally went and got dressed, and then she brought her homework into my room. She didn't ask or anything, just flopped on the bed and started pulling things out of her backpack. A little while later I heard the front door open and I started to go see who it was, but she stopped me, saying we had to stay in the room until my aunt or uncle gave us permission to leave. I asked her, 'what if I have to go to the bathroom.' She just gave me this really weird look and said, 'then you hold it until they tell you it's okay to come out.' When I asked her, 'Well what about Carly, why doesn't she have to stay in her room?' She just gave me that look again only this time she looked like she was mad and said, 'Carly is not your concern. She has duties to perform that do not concern you.' The whole thing just creeped me out. The rest of the week was more of the same, except I didn't catch her and Carly, you know, doing it again. I think maybe they were doing it after I went to bed. I had to go to bed at nine o'clock but I would hear things, you know, after I went to bed."

All of this was starting to sound far too familiar to me and I could feel the small hairs on the back of my neck starting to stand up. "What happened next?"

"Well, nothing really happened after that, not right away anyway. Saturday we did chores and Carly had a meeting of some kind she had to go to. She was gone for most of the afternoon, and then the whole family played "Life" and watched movies until bed time. I think Regina may have sneaked into Carly's room because when I went by her room on the way to the bathroom the door wasn't closed all the way and when I looked inside she wasn't there." She paused again for a moment, "Then Sunday morning we got up to go to Church. Jimmy, I've never felt so freaked out in church my whole life, but that place, even the priest, and that bothered me too, most churches don't have priests, they have pastors, except the Catholics and some others, but they called their leader a priest. Jimmy, he scared me. I don't know why, he didn't do anything, or say anything to me, but once when he looked at me, I just couldn't breathe, it was like he was sucking the air away from me. Then he looked away and I was fine again. After the service he came over to see my aunt and uncle and they introduced me, and I didn't want to but I shook his hand and everything was fine."

She stopped and stared at the floor again, and I knew there was more. Not that this wasn't enough but I was afraid to ask the question I wanted to ask. I was pretty sure I knew the answer already and it scared the crap out of me. "There's more isn't there?"

At first I thought she wasn't going to answer, but finally she nodded her head and said, "Yes. Monday after school they were doing it again, and they tried to get me to join in, they kept telling me how much fun it was and how I'd like it if I only gave it a try. Carly tried to kiss me but I pulled away and Regina said, 'Come on Phoebe, lighten up, it's just like kissing a boy.' I could feel myself blush and then they started teasing me, 'Oh my God, ' they actually used the Lord's name in vain, 'Oh my God, you mean you've never even kissed a boy?' I thought if I admitted it they would leave me alone but it was like they were actually excited that one of them would get to be my first kiss. Like I was just going to up and kiss one of them. They hounded me about it until time for their parents to come home and then Carly took me upstairs and stayed in my room with me until they said it was okay to come out. She didn't even get dressed first, just sat there and watched me do my homework, and whispered to me about how she wanted to be my first kiss and please would I kiss her, and she kept touching my hair and stuff. It went on all week; they just kept after me about it until finally I gave in and said I would kiss them. They actually flipped a coin to see who got to go first. Carly won and I thought she was going to do a back flip she was so excited. Then she has me stand up against the wall and sort of presses herself up against me and kisses me. It wasn't horrible or anything, it was like kissing mom or dad, but then she opens her mouth and starts licking my lips with her tongue. 'Come on, open your mouth, you have to kiss me back or it doesn't count. What, like you've never seen a movie that wasn't G-rated? Kiss me Phoebe; I'm not going to bite you. Regina might, but I won't." I still didn't want to but then Regina comes over and pinches my nose shut while Carly grabs my arms and pins me to the wall. Well it was open or suffocate so I opened, and suddenly it's like there is this snake in my mouth, but at least Regina let go so I could breathe. It went on for a couple seconds, her kind of mashing her lips against mine and licking around inside my mouth then she finally let me go and said, 'See, that wasn't so bad, was it. But I'm not counting that one because you didn't kiss me back, so tomorrow you have to kiss me again. For now you can practice with Regina, and you better do better for her because I wasn't kidding when I said she bites." She wasn't kidding either. When I didn't kiss her back, Regina kind of grabbed my lip with hers and sort of sucked it into her mouth and held it there with her teeth. When she finally let go she said if I didn't try harder she would bite it for real. She made me stick out my tongue and then she kind of sucked it into her mouth and played with it with her tongue and then said, 'that's more like it, and if Carly gets a second chance tomorrow then so do I and I'll expect you to do better.'

"Every day after school they made me kiss them; at first it was just against the wall, but then they wanted me to put my arms around them and hold them, then they started running their hands up and down my body, when Regina squeezed my butt I almost bit her tongue off but that just seemed to excite her more. Friday they made me lie on the bed. I knew it was a bad idea. This time Carly was first and she started feeling my ... breasts ... through my shirt, squeezing and rubbing them, and then when it was her turn Regina moved her hand down and started rubbing me ... you know, there. I tried to push her off but she grabbed my hands and bit down hard on my lip. I cried out and she let go and said, 'hold still, ' then she put my hands over my head started kissing me again and this time she slid her hand inside my pants and started to slide it under my underwear. I didn't care what she did to me; I wasn't going to let her touch me there. I started fighting harder and suddenly Carly was sitting on my legs and she started to unbutton my pants and I went crazy, kicking and clawing and I managed to get away and run to the bathroom and lock the door. I knew if I could just keep away from them long enough that they would have to stop because it was close to time for my aunt and uncle to come home. Carly came to the door a little while later and said I had to go back to my room or I would get in trouble and she didn't want me to be punished because of something she did. I knew she was right, so I opened the door and she let me go back to my room. She didn't even touch me. Later, when she came and stayed with me while we waited for them to say we could come out she apologized for what had happened. She told me how much she loved me and wanted to kiss me all the time and how bad she felt that my parents had died. She said she just wanted to make sure I knew they loved me and this was just the best way they knew how to show me, but that it was wrong to try and rush me and would I please forgive her. I knew it was all just talk but I was afraid of what would happen if I didn't say I forgave her. She told me again how important it was that no one knows about it, that we would all get in real serious trouble if anyone knew. That part I knew she meant. Something about the way she said it made me believe that she was really afraid of what would happen if anyone knew.

"I couldn't get to sleep that night, and about eleven thirty I got up to go to the bathroom and get a drink. There was a light on downstairs. There's a spot on the stairs where if you stand just right, you can see the living room reflected in the mirror. Aunt Vivian was on the couch and Carly was, you know, like she did with Regina." She swallowed hard and I could feel the heat of her embarrassment, "And Uncle Duke was, he was behind her and he was pushing his ... thing ... his penis into..." She shuddered. "Their own daughter! Jimmy, they were doing it with their own daughter! I forgot all about the drink and went back to bed. Then later I heard them all come up the stairs, there are two that squeak when you step on them, and I heard Carly go into the bathroom and then a few minutes later she came out and I heard her door close. Something told me I needed to get up, so I went and stood outside my aunt's bedroom door and I could hear them talking. I heard Uncle Duke say, "It sounds like the girls are making progress with her, I think she'll come around soon." And my aunt said, "She'd better, we're running out of time and I was starting to worry." Jimmy, they knew what the girls were doing, it was all some sort of sick plan. I slept in Saturday, saying I didn't feel well. Carly went to her meeting again. Sunday it was back to church and I kept noticing people staring at me. They would look away if I turned but you know how you can sort of feel it when someone is watching you. Twice more the priest looked at me during the message and I couldn't breathe. I did my best to act normally. Monday after school Carly and Regina acted really nice to me and kept saying how sorry they were about Friday, but would I at least let them kiss me, that I didn't have to kiss them back but please? I knew it was all just part of their plan but I didn't know what else I could do, so I let them. That night I woke up to find Regina pulling my covers back and crawling into bed with me. I started to say something but she just said, 'shhh, I promise I'll be good Phoebe, I just want to be near you, please?' I stayed awake most of the night praying to God to please get me away from that place.

"God heard my prayers, Jimmy, that very morning I had my first period. I woke up and my pajamas were all wet and sticky. Aunt Vivian was furious until I told her it was the first time. Then she got all sweet and apologetic. She had Regina go and get me some of her stuff to use until we got me my own, then she asked if I had cramps and I almost said no but then I lied and said yes. I guess it was the right thing to say because she said I could stay home from school if I wanted. I waited until they had been gone for a while and then called my Aunt at work and asked if it would be okay if I watched television. At first she was confused but I told her before if I was sick and had to stay home I wasn't allowed, that mom and dad said that too sick for school was too sick for television. She said it was alright and that Uncle Duke wanted to say hi. I didn't know they worked together but he was right there so he got on the phone and told me he loved me and hoped I felt better. As soon as I hung up the phone I got up and started gathering my stuff together. I didn't have a lot but some of it was expensive. I took everything I could carry that was small, I only took one change of clothes and two extra pairs of underwear. I looked in the phone book and found the address of a pawn shop that was close. There are pawn shops everywhere in Las Vegas..."

I could feel my heart lurch as she said it. I had known it was coming but that didn't make it any easier to hear.

" ... I sold everything, even my necklace that my mom gave me; it had real diamonds in it so I knew it would be worth a lot of money. At first the woman tried to tell me they were fake but I just scooped it up and started putting things back in my pack and she changed her mind. I ended up with just over six hundred dollars and I went straight to the bus station. I didn't even try to plan, just got on the first bus that was leaving. It was headed for San Bernardino. I asked the ticket guy if he could arrange to have a cab waiting to take me to my grandmother's house because she couldn't drive. I gave him an address off of a restaurant flyer that had the addresses of all of their restaurants. I've been praying for God to tell me what to do next. Every day I go to a different laundromat and wash my dirty stuff. My period only lasted two days so at least I didn't have to worry about that. I knew that God was testing me but that if I kept my faith he would deliver me. And he did, because here you are. Do you really think they'll make me go back?"

I was very sure she wasn't going to be going back to her Aunt and Uncle, but I couldn't tell her the real reason. At least I didn't have to lie, "No Phoebe, you won't be going back to them. Phoebe, I have to go make a call. You can stay here with Susan for tonight but that's all. Tomorrow another friend of mine may come by and pick you up. I don't know yet where she is going to take you but it will be someplace nice, and safe, and I swear to you, before God, that you will never have to go back to that place, and those people will never touch you again, okay?"

"Okay. But where..."

"I'm not sure yet, Phoebe, you just have to trust me. I need to go talk to Susan and then I need to get home, but I promise I'll come back and see you before I go. Now, let me up, ow! My arm's asleep, look what you did..." I played it up as best I could... "Ooh! Pins and needles!" I was happy to see that I actually got a smile out of her. I knocked on Susan's door and then led her out back onto the patio.

"Jimmy, you are simply amazing. I can't believe you got her to open up. Did she tell you what happened?"

"It wasn't me that got her to open up," I said. "Susan, this is important, under no circumstances tell anyone, anyone, that she is here." She was looking appropriately stunned as I pulled out my phone and hit a button. "Hi, it's me, where are you?"

"I'm at Bob's place, why?"

I didn't have time for explanations now, "Good. Are you inside or out?"

She paused for a second, "Inside." The way she answered told me she had caught on and this was now a real business call.

"Inside ... are you sure, absolutely sure you're secure? No, never mind that, I'd rather do this in person anyway. We've checked the house as best we can but do you have anything you could bring with you to check our house to make sure if it's clean or not?"

"Yeah, I got some stuff from Paul before I came out so I could sweep this place. We're clean on this end; are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"No, but you guys are officially invited to dinner; I'll call my mom and set it up. Shannon's folks will be there but I think that will actually serve our purpose in the long run. One thing, I'm with Susan Swann right now; Bob can tell you about her. Can you put him on for a second?"

"Yeah, hold on."

"Thanks," I said and waited for him to come on the line. I was staring at Susan, who was rapidly going from worried to scared and starting to turn white. "Bob, I don't have time for details. Something has come up. I'm at Susan's and I need you to tell her that she needs to do exactly what I told her. I'll explain later. I just need you to tell her to trust me."

"Oh Jesus," he said. "I don't even know what it is and I can already tell it's not good. Did you have to drag Susan into it?"

"I didn't know what it was until it was too late. Now it's too late. On a scale of one to ten I'd say it was Amber bad."

There was a pause, "Put her on the phone."

I handed her the phone and she took it like it was going to catch fire at any second, "Bob? It's me, what's going on?" There was a long pause while he said something, and several times her eyes flashed to mine. "Okay, okay, I get it. I'll do what Jimmy says. But Bob, someone is going to tell me what this is all about right? Okay, here's Jimmy."

"Thanks Bob. I've got a couple more minutes here, and then I'll call my mom and make sure she knows you're coming for dinner. Dinner is usually six-ish on weekends but show up anytime you want. We'll find time to talk later, after Rebecca has a chance to go over the house."

"That's fine," he answered. "Should I bring something?"

I laughed, "I'll ask. See you later. Thanks for doing this."