Chapter 17: Planning a Life

After breakfast I took a little ride to make a phone call.

"I'm Easy."

I couldn't help but chuckle at the way Lizzy answered her phone. She really did enjoy her nickname.

"Hi Lizzy, how's the photo shoot going? Am I catching you at a bad time?"

"Jimmy, is that you? How come your number doesn't ... oh never mind, I got it. Listen, I've only got a couple minutes, I'm changing for another set and they need me in makeup in five minutes. They want to make me look like I actually work on cars."

"Should I call back later?"

"Jimmy, you can call me any time, and I mean that. But for now I just wanted to talk to you about last night. What you did was not only perfect but I think it opens up a whole new door that will make it a lot easier for Amber to adapt to her new life without feeling like she is losing her old one. Damn! I wish I had more time. Listen, we're scheduled to be finished here about six o'clock so call me back if you get a chance, otherwise we'll just talk about it tonight. Have you gotten started on that book Bob told you to read yet?"

"Kushiel's Dart? No, not yet. I need to go buy it."

"Do you need money? I can charge it online and you can pick it up locally if you want. Do you have a Borders?"

I chuckled to myself, money was not my current problem, "Yes, we're not completely cut off from civilization here, and I'm good."

"I'll just bet you are."

"I mean I don't need money." I could actually feel myself blushing.

"Doesn't mean the rest isn't true ... Okay, try to get started on it as soon as you can. The first half is really the important part, the rest is a good read but you don't need it for this. They're knocking, I have to go, give Allison a kiss for me and call me later."

"Okay, I'll..." the line was already dead. I was really looking forward to getting a copy of that calendar.

I closed the phone and started walking back to my truck. I had been standing in the middle of the park not far from my house. I wasn't sure that the house was bugged, but I wasn't sure it wasn't either. The last thing I wanted to do was draw more attention to anyone involved with either Rebecca or me. If the killer found out I was in contact with one of the girls he had kidnapped it would kill any chance we might have of convincing him that my relationship with Rebecca was nothing he needed to be concerned with. It could potentially even put Lizzy in danger again. That's why I made the call from the park, a nice big open area where I could see anyone getting close and with nothing around me to reflect a voice into a parabolic microphone if someone tried to listen in. Go ahead, call me paranoid. Lives were at stake, and if it were your loved ones in the cross hairs you'd do it too.

I called the house on the way back to truck; I lucked out and Allison answered.

"Hey Sunshine, I have to run to the mall and pick up a book. Do you and Shannon still want to go shopping?" Even as I asked I realized it was a stupid question; do two teenage girls want to go to the mall and shop? I got the expected answer...

"Well, duh!"

"Yeah, it was a dumb question. What I should have asked was do you want to go early and do our chores later or do them first?"

"Chores first, that way we'll be able to come home and play with all our new stuff without having to worry about what else we need to do. I'll call Shannon and set it up. Thanks!"

We had lunch together in the food court and then went our separate ways, me to Borders and them to the nearest sale. I had no trouble finding the book Bob had mentioned. Reading the description on the back left me more than a little anxious about what I was going to find inside. As I had plenty of time to kill I bought the book and then took it and a soda in search of a quiet place to read. I wasn't sure how much time I was going to have so the first thing I did was flip through the first hundred pages one at a time, pausing long enough to capture an image of each in my mind. This was the trick Allison had discovered the year before. Once that image is in your head you can 'read' it in your dreams because your mind has already 'seen' the page. It had saved us untold hours of real time with homework being able to read the assignments in dream time and only having to do the written work when we were awake. I then went back and started reading the book. I put a sizable dent in it before the girls came looking for me. My initial apprehension at the subject matter had faded quickly as the narrative unfolded. The characters didn't really bear any close resemblance to any of us, and at first I couldn't figure out why Bob had suggested it, but soon I started to recognize the underlying themes and realized where he was coming from. By the time the girls showed up I knew I was going to need to scan some more pages before bedtime.

That thought brought me up short. I had watched the CSI episodes already. Why not just replay them for Amber instead of making everyone jump through hoops to get them to her? We could even create a copy of the book for her. I made a note to ask Bob if he thought it would be a better idea for us to study together or separately. As soon as I thought it I realized the answer. She needed the space to come to her own conclusions. If I were there it might influence her.

The girls put on a little fashion show for us back at the house, and then Tom, Karen, and Mark came over for dinner. Something was obviously up, there seemed to be a lot of tension between Tom and Karen. Finally it came out. Tom's appointment to go over the latest test results was Tuesday. They had been trying to keep it quiet, but Karen in particular was starting to unravel. Mark and Shannon were upset that they had not been told and that they would have to be at school while their parents got the news. Tom was actually the most upbeat of the bunch, showing more energy and optimism than we had seen in a very long time. I never did get the chance to call Lizzy back and before we knew it, it was time for them to go. Shannon gathered up her bags and we walked them to the car. I caught Karen looking at me out of the corner of her eye and wondered if she was waiting for me to kiss her daughter goodnight. Allison and I talked about it as we snuggled up for the night but decided there was nothing we could really do one way or the other except be aware of her suspicions and try not to do anything to tip the decision. If she knew, she hadn't said anything. I'd try to keep it that way. Somewhere around ten o'clock we dropped off to sleep, waking in my version of Allison's glade almost simultaneously. That put it around midnight 'Easy-time' so I wasn't surprised that she showed up almost immediately, although I had been hoping to be able to get some time in on the book before diving into any other activities the night may offer. It also meant that Allison was once again left out as Lizzy and I had things to discuss.

"It's okay," Allison said. "Jimmy, you have to stop feeling guilty every time you need space. You've got a lot going on, and depending on what you're doing at any given time, it's almost assured that someone is going to be left out. There are plenty of things I can be doing. Shannon will likely be along any second so I'll be fine. I can always work on my game if I get bored. Go on, the sooner you guys work this all out the happier everyone will be." She kissed my cheek and pushed us both away toward the little brook that flows through. Lizzy and I walked off down the path that suddenly appeared winding through the bushes and along the stream.

"So how was the photo shoot?" I asked, just to break the ice.

"It was awesome. It'll be weeks before we see any of the finished shots but the preliminaries look great. In addition to the stuff for Dave, we did a lot of sponsor stuff and Richard thinks that some of it will sell."

"That would be awesome. I spent most of the afternoon reading; I'm about two hundred pages into the book. I think I've got a pretty good grip on the characters."

"That's plenty far enough. You can stop if you like. That is if you think you've got a handle on what Bob wanted you to get from it."

"I'm to play Delaunay to her Phédre," I said simply.

"Yes, not exactly of course, and though she is not anything like Phédre, your part is the same in any case. You are her master, you care for her, educate her, see to her training and wellbeing. You make sure her needs are met." She looked me firmly in the face; she couldn't see my eyes after all, "All of them."

"I got that. So what were you so excited about this morning? You said something about what I did with Amber last night and how it may really help."

"Yes! It never occurred to me until you did it, but let's get Bob here. I think it will work out really well, but he's the professional here, so I'd like his opinion."

"Lizzy, would it be helpful for you to be able to call him and talk to him without me?"

She thought for a second, "I don't know why I would need to but yeah, I guess it would be nice to have the option."

"Let me see your phone." Turned out she had a Blackberry. I added Bob to her speed dial under B. I also decided to change my dream phone. It hadn't occurred to me before but texting could be useful in this environment as well; much less intrusive to text and see if he or Rebecca were busy rather than to call and interrupt. "You'll come up on his caller ID as well, so he'll know it's you."

"Wow, you can do that to his phone from here?" She shook here head. "Okay, dumb question because you just did, but do you want him to know you can do it from here?"

"I've decided not to hide things from him any more. I'll just ask him not to talk about it. In fact, we'll cover that when he gets here."

"Okay," she said. "I'll just send him a text now instead of calling; that should get his attention."

"Just tell him to pick a door and I'll bring him in."

I watched as she typed in a message, and a few seconds later a door appeared not far from us. Bob stepped out with his phone still in his hand.

"Neat trick," he said. "I think texting around could be helpful. Too bad there is no way to keep text messages secure in real time."

"You can't?" I asked. Hey, I'd never used it at all.

"No, text messages are actually stored on a server before being broadcast to the recipient. There have been cases made in both civil and criminal court involving text messages that were retrieved after the fact."

"So much for getting myself a better phone," I said. "You notice Lizzy came up under your caller ID? The fact that I can affect you, or even just your phone, without actually being present in your dream, is something I'd rather keep to ourselves. There will likely be other things. I would rather you didn't discuss any of them in front of others unless I bring them up, okay?"

"Understandable," Bob said. "Especially with recent developments, I think you and your abilities, new or old, should be on a need to know basis. If Rebecca needs to know, then yes, I think you should be the one to make the decision and tell her, or anyone else."

I nodded and moved on. "Lizzy wanted to talk about something I did with Amber last night."

"Really?" he asked, turning to her, "What happened?"

"He ordered her to be Angela when we were going out to play basketball with Allison and Shannon."

Bob's eyebrows tried to crawl over the top of his head, "And it worked?"

"Yeah, it actually did," she answered, sounding just as surprised as he looked. "He had to be a little forceful with his instructions but he actually got her to be the stronger, more forceful presence that I assume she once was. She actually told him to fuck off when he pressured her on a decision point right before we broke for the night."

"You heard that?" I asked. She gave me a wink and flicked her eyebrows at me. I made a note to be more careful with her in the future. Bob ignored the whole exchange, caught up in what she had said.

"You're kidding!" Suddenly he was pacing. "This could be the solution we need to her problem." He turned to me, "My biggest fear throughout this has been that the trauma had caused a schism and that was why she was struggling so hard with all of this. I've been afraid that it was going to be necessary to actually let a second, independent personality for Amber form. She didn't seem to be able to handle the role-playing that was necessary to be convincing. But this ... damn, I wish she'd had time to get started on her homework, but it'll be days before she even gets the DVDs."

"Actually," I interrupted, "I realized earlier, we don't even have to take them to her, or buy her the book, which I'm about halfway through already by the way."

"That was fast," he said, "I didn't even think you had the book yet."

"Yeah, it surprised me too. I picked it up a little after noon. You know that thing we do so we can read in dreams, just paging through a book so we've 'seen' all the pages, then we can actually read them later? I did that with the first hundred pages, then went back and started reading them. It was like I was actually re-reading them and I flew through them in about an hour and a half. I did the next hundred in just under an hour. As near as I can tell I'm currently doing about three hundred words per minute."

"Amazing," he said. "One of these days I'd like to see how you do with new material here in this environment, but we can do that another time. So how does this affect Amber's need... ? Oh, I get it; you've seen the shows and read the book, so you can re-create them here for her."

"Right, I can set it all up so she can see the shows, read the book, at least as far as I have gotten, and she can probably do it all in next to no time." I turned to Lizzy. "How does any of this make it any different for her?"

She looked at Bob, one of those, 'correct me if I'm wrong looks, ' he nodded and she answered, "I think with a little help she will be able to switch between being Amber or Angela consciously, but the change will be total. You actually got her to do it last night, ordered her to do it. I think with the right kind of reinforcement you'll be able to let her be Angela enough that she won't feel like she is losing herself in the new identity."

I wasn't sure I was following her logic correctly. "So you're saying that she could be completely and totally Amber, publicly, but that when it was safe, like here with us, she could be Angela again if she wanted to?"

"Here, or in the real world, if she thought it was safe to be herself. The clues were there before, the fact that she still wanted to make love to you after I forced her on the beach. She's not completely given over to the submissive behavior. It's there, but I think maybe it's a want, not an actual need."

"That may be true," Bob said, "for Angela. However for Amber it is a need and it will, for that reason, still require that we follow through with getting her trained to the point that she can play the role convincingly."

"So let me see if I have this right," I said. "You're saying that we are going to train Amber to be this willing little sex slave, but that Angela will be able to turn that person on and off like flipping a switch."

"Exactly right," Bob said, I glanced and Lizzy was nodding her agreement. "This is exactly the way most people in this lifestyle manage it, only the opposite. Most people, like that CEO I told you about, hide this dark side away from their everyday lives, but when they are in the safety of this hidden world, they let themselves become this other person, whether dominant or submissive, because they are now safe to do so. Eventually, once it is safe to do so, Angela will likely manage her life the same way."

"But won't that be a problem for her now?"

"Jimmy, it's college," Lizzy said. "You wouldn't believe the stuff I see everyday, and I'm at a pretty conservative institution, trust me, she won't even raise an eyebrow." She stopped and it seemed that something had occurred to her.

"What?" I asked.

She thought for a second more before answering, "Just a little thing that may cause a problem, but I'm sure we'll be able to work it out before she goes off to school. I don't think it's important enough to even bring up and worry about. I'll let you know if it looks like it's going to be an issue as we get closer."

Bob nodded and said. "I see no benefit to waiting, so, Jimmy, set up a place for her to study and let's get her started. The sooner she is able to understand what is happening the sooner she will be able to stabilize her life and move on."

A thought had been stirring around in the back of my head throughout this whole conversation and it finally came forward, "This doesn't change my role in any of this, does it? I still have to be her master, don't I?"

"Yes," Lizzy answered. "Jimmy, the only way she will accept this, for now anyway, is if you tell her to do it. Right now, where she is at mentally, she can't make these decisions on her own. Trust me; this is what is going to happen. She is going to watch the shows, which will give her the basics of the role she is playing and show her that there is nothing wrong with what she is feeling. Reading the book will show her that she needs someone like Delaunay, a master to guide her, to keep her safe, the only difference is that where Phèdre took time to fall in love with Delaunay, Amber will turn to you because she already does. Jimmy, when she comes to you; you must already be her master, no hesitation, no indecision. She has already shown that she thinks of you that way and she doesn't even realize it. Soon she will make a conscious decision to put you in that role. You have to be ready to treat it naturally."