Chapter 16: The Beast in the Box

I expected that if I were to go into the cabana that I would find the girls, but I was not really ready to see them just yet. Sitting on the beach I stared out at the waves and tried to think about what I had just learned. My killer was schizophrenic, as we had guessed; that he was also the victim of some scheme to exploit his condition was news. What kind of people would take such an illness and exploit it? Who would even conceive of it? How would it be done? The care and effort to treat the two separately, keeping them unaware of each other and actually training and teaching them not only individually, but differently. Actually that wasn't quite it: The other, the killer, seemed to be aware of his alternate -- he had said as much, that the other learned what he did ... What exactly had he said, that they had taught him to hide better, to conceal himself? How would they draw him out? How had they gained his trust and taught him his independence?

It took some time to trace the method that I would use. It could be done through code phrases, similar to the ones that we used to drop ourselves into sleep when necessary. They could be hypnotically implanted, triggering the primary personality into a trancelike state; dreamless, so that the subject would not notice a gap in time. They had been careless on more than one occasion. He had noticed several gaps in his life. You would have to be careful, make sure you restored him to the same environment that he was in when you started. I could only imagine what might have happened to cause the delay that day in his office. Would others around him need to know what was going on to help cover the events? Not necessarily. It would be the job of the alternate to recreate the scene in a way credible enough to allay suspicion. And this was the man fate had set me against. No wonder he was so good. The attention to detail was a part of his life, his very existence.

Something else he had said was nagging at me; something that scared the crap out of me to think about. It was time to talk to someone, but whom? It was probably more up Bob's alley than anyone else's, but then, it was something that I hadn't shared with him yet, so bringing it up now would require explanations that I wasn't really prepared to make. A circumstance I found myself in more and more these days. There seemed to be so many conversations I didn't want to have, things that I didn't want to do that I found myself with no choice about. God, why does this have to be so hard? Why does it all have it come at once? Why couldn't I just have one crisis at a time?

Lifting my head I spoke into the surf, "Easy?" I didn't even know if she was asleep, I hadn't bothered to check, but suddenly there she was before me. She was wearing a simple pair of white panties and an oversize t-shirt. Not over-long, but over sized, it hung from her shoulder so loosely it almost exposed a breast, yet still did not reach the top of her underwear.

Despite her attire she was instantly attentive, the worry in her voice apparent, "Jimmy, what's wrong?" She knelt beside me and suddenly seemed aware of her attire. "Sorry," she switched to a bathing suit top and beach wrap, I couldn't be certain but I assumed the other half of the suit was underneath. She really had picked up the tricks of dream management quickly. "Is this better?"

"Thank you, I know it shouldn't matter, after all you see us naked all the time..."

She cut me off, "You're stalling; rambling. Jimmy, clothing isn't important; even less so for me than others, but I have a truer vision than most. What's wrong? I can see your distress, Jimmy. What's happened?"

"I ... I think I know what's happening to me."

"What do you mean? What's happened to... ?" She stopped for a moment and then called over her shoulder, "Allison!"

I was surprised to see Allison suddenly appear behind her, "What?" she paused. "Wow! I didn't know you could do that."

"Do what?" Easy asked. "All I did was call you. You came on your own. Something's happened, Jimmy called me, brought me to him, said he knew what was happening to him. I think I know what he's talking about but you are his most trusted advisor. So I think whatever he has to say you need to hear first hand and at the first speaking."

"Jimmy?" Allison asked, anxiety clear in her voice. Before I could answer she held up her hand, "Wait," she said, and then just as Lizzy had done, she called over her shoulder, "Shannon!"

And just as suddenly Shannon was there, only Amber was with her.

"What the hell is going on?" Shannon demanded. "One minute we're sitting around the hot tub, then wham! You disappear. Then suddenly you're screaming for me. I didn't want to be rude, so I brought Amber along with me. Is something wrong?" Allison just looked at her. "Okay, stupid question. What's up?"

I started to answer when Lizzy spoke up, "Wait." Then she whispered in my ear, "Amber does not need to hear this. It would be best if you would send her away, she is still unsure so be gentle with her, though that is not what she truly desires she will understand considering the circumstances."

I had no idea what she was talking about so I froze the scene. "What the heck are you talking about?"

"I'm sorry; I know this is all still new to you. I probably shouldn't have tried to explain. Look, Amber needs to see you as strong, decisive, a force to be reckoned with. She needs to see you that way so that her trust in you will not be undermined."

"Okay, I sort of got that part, what about the rest?"

"Amber does not want requests and explanations from you, she wants orders. She wants a commanding presence to assure her of the security that she needs to survive. The problem is she doesn't even really understand this yet. So for now, and because there are others around, you need to ask her to leave and wait for you. She would rather you tell her that you have other business which does not involve her and that she should go somewhere else and you will meet with her later."

"She would?"

"No. What she really wants is for you tell her, no explanations, nothing, just order her to leave and wait for you. That's what she really wants, but even she doesn't really understand that yet, but that's okay because you are not really ready to do that yet either. Jimmy, if you ask her later she will tell you that this whole thing made her uncomfortable. She will also thank you for handling it this way in front of others. When she does, it would be a good time to ask her about telling Allison."

"How did you know about me wanting to tell Allison?"

"Jimmy, why do you think I called her? Allison is your go-to girl; the one you talk to first and rely the most on. Of course you want to talk to her. You're in over your head and sinking fast. We both know that, but I can't help you. You have to get a handle on this by yourself, in your own time, and in your own way. Are you telling me you don't want to talk to her, or that she doesn't want to know?"

"As if. Of course I want to talk to her, but I understand I can't until ... Okay, you win, but we're going to need to talk about this again real soon." I unfroze the scene. "Okay, hold on a second. Amber, walk with me." I took her hand and walked across the beach a ways with her.

"I have some things I need to discuss that I can't talk about with you here. Do you understand?" She didn't so much look hurt as much as confused.

"Okay, what do you want me to do?"

I couldn't believe I was hearing this. Easy was right, she wanted me to tell her what to do.

"I just need some time to go over some things. Find a place, somewhere you feel safe and relaxed, and I'll be along shortly." I almost added, "Okay?" to the end but caught myself before it reached my lips.

"Yes." She kissed my cheek, turned and walked toward the cabana.

Considering what we had done there last time I wasn't sure what her expectations were going to be when I got there, but I was obligated to go either way. Right now I had other concerns.

"I think I know what's been happening," I said, as I returned to the girls.

"What's been happening with what?" Shannon asked.

"Mikkelson, Parry, my sudden lack of control, everything that's been going wrong. This hidden enemy that seems to be working against me."

She glanced at Allison, concern written across her face like a billboard. I didn't see any kind of response from Allison but Shannon turned back and said, "It's you isn't it? I mean, not you-you, but something you did, or created by accident, isn't it?"

"I think so."

"Tell me," Allison said, suddenly we were all sitting in the shade under the small awning, in comfortable canvas beach chairs. There were two small tables with drinks set on either side where everyone could reach. "Does this have anything to do with your little trip earlier?"

"Not directly but sort of. I got him to open up and talk about his past, once he got started ... anyway, it was very informative. We were right about him being schizophrenic. What's totally bizarre is how he got to where he is now. His own government was experimenting on him. Apparently he's been this way since childhood, had some violent episodes and ended up in a state run hospital, ended up killing someone there when he was only fourteen. They were about to lock him up and throw away the key when this guy shows up and convinces his parents to sign over custody and that he would cure their son. Turns out they already had a pretty good idea about him. In fact they were looking for people just like him to play with."

"What do you mean, 'people just like him?'" Lizzy asked. "You mean people with multiple personalities?"

"Not just multiple personalities, but people with violent histories. He had already had several incidents including killing someone when they took him away. They told his parents they would be able to help him learn to live with his anger, learn to control it."

"And did they?" Allison asked.

"Oh they helped him alright," I caught her eye and held it. "They taught him to push his anger away, separate it from himself. They taught him to save it and use it when he needed it. Any of this sound familiar?"

"Sure, it's compartmentalization," Shannon answered. "Rebecca taught us about it. You take your strong emotions and put them in a box so they don't get in the way of what you need to do."

"Exactly, only in his case..." I started, but Lizzy finished for me.

"There was something already living in the box."

"Exactly, something that took his rage and pain and violence."

"And you think this is what has been happening to you?" Shannon asked.

"I don't know, but it seems to fit. I didn't start having problems until I got really angry and upset about some of the things that happened."

"But you've never been violent," Shannon argued, "and you've never really shown any hint of ... oh God, the bank."

"Yes, the bank, and what happened with Brad and his goons."

"Wait, you can't have two personalities," Lizzy said.

"Why not?"

"Because I've seen people like that before and you don't look like them."

"What do they look like?"

"It depends; it can look a couple of different ways. Usually it's like looking at two people at once, with one sort of overlaid on the other. Or, like there are lines dividing them into different parts; compartmentalized like you say but in this case, each compartment has a full set of everything; sort of like twins that never separated. You don't look like any of those."

"Maybe he hasn't reached that point yet," Allison said. "Whatever this is, it's only shown itself when it had to, when there was no choice, no other way to get through a situation. It's lashed out at people he was angry at, very angry at. That part we talked about, and both of the cases where it seems to be using his ability are cases when he visited someone he was mad at and did something punitive. Like whatever he did wasn't enough to satisfy it. Other than that it's been hiding, or at least not showing itself. You're not really here, what you're seeing isn't real, it's a dream and you're seeing what Jimmy wants you to see. What if this other ... thing doesn't want you to see it? What if it's using Jimmy's ability to hide itself from you? Remember the first night, when you were alone with Jimmy, you kissed him and saw something, but then it was gone. You slapped him and it came back, but only for a second and it was gone again. It knows you can see it, but it has access to Jimmy's ability, that's what has been causing the problems for Mikkelson and Parry. Now it's using it to mask itself, to hide from you. That has to be it."

"I've noticed lately it's getting easier to push away the anger. Even earlier," again I looked at Allison, "when it sort of overwhelmed me, once I focused on pushing it away it was like, like it went away too easy."

"Like it got sucked up by something?" Lizzy asked.

"Yeah, like I was pushing only there was no resistance."

"You expected to have to fight it into the box but instead the box sort of opened up and swallowed it," she said.

"Exactly," I said.

"You could be right about all of this. Whatever is in that box likes your anger and pain," she said. "Have you been finding yourself more stressed and angry lately? Well, not really angrier, but getting mad quicker? Little flashes of temper that you need to push away?"

"Yes," Allison said, "he has. Of course with everything that's going on he has had a lot more stress in his life. Are you suggesting that it's more than that?"

"Yes. I think whatever it is, is playing with his emotions, pushing his buttons."

"Do you think it's ... feeding on him?" Shannon asked.

"Possibly, but mostly I think it's studying him, learning."

"That would explain a lot," Allison said. It was getting really hard to follow this conversation. The girls had slipped into that one brain, two bodies thing they do. It didn't seem to bother Lizzy but it was confusing the heck out of me.

"Okay, slow down" I said, holding up my hands to stop the conversation. "I think we're kind of going around in circles here. Are we all pretty much agreed that what's going on is a direct result of my shoving all of my anger into a dark hole and slamming a lid on it?"

Allison nodded, Shannon took a little longer but finally she did too. Lizzy still looked a little unsure. "It's not that I don't think that's it, I'm just used to being able to see these things. This ... this is like being blind. I don't know how you do it. Yes, I think that's likely the cause. The question is, what can you do about it?"

Allison looked at me for a moment, then at Shannon, who was looking down at the sand, obviously not sure what to say, finally she turned to Lizzy, "Elizabeth? If you were here, really here, do you think you would be able to see it? Maybe even heal it?"

"See it probably, but I never know about the healing until it happens. Until I can see it, I don't know what it is. If it were anyone else I could probably do it now, here. But him? This thing has his abilities; I don't think I could touch it here, even in the real world I would be a little scared. What if I tried and it got mad? I have too many dark things for it to play with to take that kind of risk."

"I wouldn't let it hurt you," I said.

"But you can't be sure," Allison said. "Look at Mikkelson, now you can't even reach him."

"What?" Shannon asked. "When did this happen?"

"Earlier tonight, before anyone else showed up, we went to see him and he's gotten worse, a lot worse. So bad that Jimmy wanted to stop it regardless of whether or not he wanted forgiveness, just end it and deal with the fallout later. He couldn't. It was all he could do to stop the vision in progress. He finally got it stopped, but he really had to work at it. Then suddenly we're back in the glade and Jimmy can't reach him any more. He can still feel him there but he can't get to him. Okay, so we knew before, or at least suspected, what it was: something inside him, this is just the first working theory on what caused it. I'm thinking we're in over our collective heads here. I think he needs to talk to Bob, as a patient this time."

"I don't know," I said, "I mean yes, I need to talk to someone, a professional, but if he said something to Rebecca ... She's got enough on her mind without worrying about me losing my grip."

"He's a doctor, you're a patient, he can't talk to her about it," she insisted.

"It's not fair to put him in that position. I don't feel right asking him to keep secrets from her."

"Jimmy, it's his job! And hers. You don't honestly believe that she tells him everything that is going on, do you? For one thing it would be illegal. Besides, if he can ask you to keep secrets from us, then I sure don't have a problem asking the same of him."

"You're keeping secrets from us?" Shannon said, looking surprised.

"No," Lizzy interrupted. "It's not that he is keeping secrets from you, it's that the secret he has is not his to tell. Do you understand the difference?"

Shannon looked at her and I could see her mulling the questions over. "Like being oath-bound?" She finally asked.

"Sort of, he just needs permission to tell you."

"Oh, and this was Bob's idea?"

"No, it was my idea," she said, "but Bob agreed with me, and now that Jimmy's done some homework, so does he."

Shannon looked at me, head cocked to one side.

"It's true. Once I did a little studying I understood, and they're right. It's not my secret to tell. So I guess this means I need to talk to Bob about what is happening? We just settled to the idea of not spending so much time together..."

"Quit stalling," Shannon said. "You decided not to spend more time with Rebecca, not Bob. Why are you suddenly worried about him?"

"I don't know," I answered. "I'm just worried about giving anybody this much information about what I can really do." I could see from the looks that they didn't get it. "I have to tell him about everything, including the bank. I know he said it's all covered under doctor-patient but still. I'd be admitting..."

Allison stepped all over it. "To something that nobody can prove and most would write off as a psycho confession. Jimmy, what if what you're feeling, this apprehension, is actually this, whatever it is, worried about what Bob may say? Worried that he may be able to help you stop it?"

I had to think about that for a second, it was quite possible she was right. I was still thinking about it when Allison spoke up, "Take Easy with you. She knows the basics, but it might help if you show her when you show Bob. She may be able to spot something along the way.

"And just what, pray tell, are you two going to be doing while we're bothering the good doctor?" Easy asked with a smile.

"Well, duh!" Shannon said. "School's starting. Volleyball comes before basketball season so we're going to conjure up some competition and get some work in. Now kiss us and get going. I don't know if you've noticed but we seem to be running out of time a lot lately."

I kissed them both and dialed Bob on my cell phone, "Hi Bob. Are you like, really busy right now?"

"No," he said. "Not with anything important anyway."

"Good because I think I need to see my doctor for some advice."

That got his attention.

"Your doctor. In that case, it doesn't matter if I'm busy," he said. "I'm in my office, come right over."

Moments later we stepped into his office, he was a little surprised to see Lizzy with me. I noticed she had changed to jeans and peasant blouse.

"Please don't take this personally, Elizabeth." He turned to me, "Why is she here?"

"Because she needs to know what I am about to tell you and I didn't want to have to go through it all twice. My turn, please don't take this wrong but, Bob, how serious are you about the doctor-patient thing?"

He looked at me like I'd grown a third eye. "This must be serious. Jimmy, as I've said before, the right judge might be willing to risk making me talk. But there are only a handful of those in the country and I can't imagine what you might have done that could be serious enough to even question it."

"Would killing five people qualify as serious enough?"

He actually stood up and walked around his desk to confront me, "You're serious?" He shook his head and started pacing, "You can't be serious." He looked at Lizzy, "Is he serious?"

She just nodded and when he looked back at me I started, "You remember a while back there was a bank robbery?"

"A bank robbery, what could that have to do..." He stopped pacing, "You were there? Rebecca told me about it, said there were two witnesses that they couldn't question because of their age, but she never mentioned you."

"Well, we made it very clear, or rather our attorney did, that our names were not to appear in any official documents that they didn't need to. In anything that is even remotely public we are referred to as minor child one and two."

"But there was video," he pointed out.

"Did she watch it?" I asked.

"No, actually, now that you mention it, she said her partner was assisting other agents on it because there was a similar event in Europe that she remembered. She thought they might be connected. The video proved her out. The same group hit a place in Europe before. Cleaned out the bank then executed everyone inside. They still don't understand what went wrong here."

What he said made me feel a lot better about what had happened. We were right; they would have killed us all. "I happened here."

"What do you mean you happened?" he asked.

I didn't answer, just replayed the scene from the bank. As the scene started playing out I asked Lizzy, "Can you see it?"

"Sure, why?"