Chapter 6

I woke up to the blaring beep of my heart. It was so loud. I could hear everything, so loud. I looked down to find the wires attached to me. I'd rather not hear my own heart's beeping. I grabbed the wires and ripped them from me. I moaned in agony as the beeping became a solid blaring tone.

Camryn burst into the room and ran to me. Before the door closed completely, two nurses barged in as well.

"Make the noise stop, please!"

One of the nurses did something to a panel by the flat lining LCD screen and the noise ceased. The other nurse, ramblingly griped to me and pulled the wires from my grip, then pressed them back onto me.

"Everything is so loud."

The other nurse, apparently already guessing the cause of my unrest was pulling out a syringe. She picked up my arm and injected me.

"Just wait a minute or two and things should quiet down," she smiled to me. She then led the other nurse out of the room. I followed their movement out the door where I watched the top of Corey's head pop out of the door window. I retreated my eyes back to Camryn who stared down to me silently.

She picked up my arm. I looked to it. Up to my elbow, it was covered in a cast.

"Why'd you cut your finger off?" she asked depressingly. I stayed quiet for a few seconds.

"I didn't mean too, I just needed adrenaline so I could yell for help. I didn't want to die there." The memories of two days in massive pain and loneliness flooded back into my mind. I had never felt so helpless in my life. Camryn looked down.

"You knew, you knew you were going to die?" My eyes held just a glimmer of my tears. Camryn's were now leaking them down her face. "They said you would have in another day, and if I didn't hear you screaming when you, you did this, it would only take an hour or two." I looked down to my casted arm.

"I thought that I would at least loose this."

"They said something about your blood loss or transfusion or something, and that helped keep your arm." She looked into my eyes for several seconds. The number of tears running down her face grew. "I thought you were mad at us so you stopped coming over. I started to get mad at you because of it, because you abandoned me. I should have done more; I should have gotten the key sooner to check on you."

She dropped her face into my chest and unloaded streams of wetness into my hospital gown.

"I'm so sorry. They said you must have been there like that for days. I made you run after Corey. I hit her, I made her run away. I caused all of this."

"Don't cry." The last thing I wanted her to do was cry for me. "You saved me, you found me. You gave me hope all that time, a reason to live, a reason to keep trying. The thought of you kept me over the pain." Please stop crying. Please have worked.

The thought of her made me want to die, disappear, never be found. I never wanted her to find me like that, opening my bedroom door and smell my horrendous odor and find me lying on the ground in my own blood. She was the reason I held off so long on trying harder for help. I knew she cared most about me; she was the one knocking at the door, calling me. She would be the one to see me at my worst. I would rather her never seen me again then to have seen me like that. I was selfish though. I wanted to live more than I wanted to protect her.

"Please don't cry. You're everything to me, you saved me. I fell, it was my fault, I should have told someone, you can't know the future."

The door opened and my parents walked in. Camryn tried her best to suck her tears back in and pulled off me.

"I'm so sorry," she said to my parents, "I'll leave you alone."

"It's not your fault;" my mom consoled her, "you're the one that saved his life." My mom tried resting her hand on Camryn's shoulder as she passed, but she marched too quickly out of the room. I looked to my dad and managed to muster a smile.

"Are you two dating or something?" he remarked. I let out a single laugh. My mom turned and back handed his arm. "What honey, you were always so emotional when we were dating. If we ever had a fight, I'd always do something stupid and let you save me and wha la, we were back together. Although, I don't think we ever had a fight big enough to make me want to cut my finger off."

"That's not funny, and you shouldn't be giving anybody advise on girls, your methods were lucky to have worked on even one girl on this planet," my mom responded with a gentle punch into him. My dad always had a way to make me smile.

"We just got in, heard you've been asleep here for a couple days," he said. I didn't know; I had just woken up. "The doctor's said you would have a nice battle scar to show off next school year and your finger should work decently in time. You'll just never have feeling there again."

All of a sudden, a wave of sleepiness rushed over me. Must have been something in that shot.

I woke up to a nurse pulling a leach out of the fingers of my cast.

The next several days, all my visitors were adults; my parents, Camryn's parents, a relative or two. All my friends were on vacations. Camryn never stopped by after the first visit, and I had never seen Corey. My mom said they both blamed themselves. Corey threw away all the clothes she had worn on that day I hurt my arm, even her shoes. She wanted nothing to do with them.

My mom reluctantly told me that dad had tried cheering them up, but with his lack of experience from no daughters, he only made things worse. She and their parents were slowly making progress though, she said.

Finally, the day they took me off the annoying machine that showed me hours on end, how fast my heart was beating, Camryn and Corey walked in. I was so angry. The first words to Camryn from my mouth were probably not the best.

"You know what's worse than two days in agonizing pain and knowing you'll probably die within any hour? Two weeks in a hospital bed knowing that you're avoiding me." Camryn instantly broke into tears.

"I'm so sorry." She walked to my side. Corey kept her distance from me. I spoke to Camryn.

"Please, if you want to help me, please don't leave me. I don't care if you're sleeping, mad, depressed, a bad hair day, or anything; just having you near me makes me feel a million times happier." What a selfish thing to say. But I would've done anything to keep her from leaving me. Camryn gripped my body in her arms.