Chapter 5

"Bye honey, we'll be back in two weeks," my mom woke me up. I rolled over as she closed my bedroom door.

It was almost night already. I had just slept about eight hours after only being awake maybe seven. I was still tired. Oh well, more sleep would fix that.

I woke again. Four in the morning. Almost another eight hours. Damn.

I was getting hungry. I couldn't move. It hurt too much. Why?

"Aaaaah!" I twitched my arm over my mattress. So much pain. My body seemed to be waking up a little. I could just start to barely move. It hurt so much. I looked down to my wounded arm. It looked to be worsening. I was cold. Breaking through my aching muscles, I reached down to my feet and pulled my blanket over me. I would do something in the morning. I was still tired. It was too painful to move.

I woke up. Eleven in the afternoon. I was getting worse. I was getting thirsty. I had to use the bathroom. I could barely move.

Someone was knocking on my front door. I could hear the faint pounds downstairs through my closed bedroom door. They were loud; maybe it was Camryn coming over to see if I was mad.

I tried yelling.

"Help," a weak cry was all that came out. Did I lose my voice? What was happening to me?

The knocking stopped. I laid silently wanting to cry; nothing came out. I fell asleep.

Six in the evening. I was so hungry, so thirsty; I had to use the bathroom so bad.

Why was this happening to me? I think I woke up to knocking again. I don't remember. I left Corey in the woods when she needed help; was this my punishment. It hurt her to walk home; I made her walk home all alone, knowing that I was mad at her. I deserved this.

My whole body ached. I wanted to go back to sleep. I wasn't tired anymore.

Hours upon hours; I laid in bed almost motionless. Why couldn't I just fall asleep? My entire body was in pain. I couldn't do anything. No one was coming to help. I was alone for two weeks. If I did not heal myself, then I would die; so, so very slowly.

Camryn's parents, they had a key. They would come check on me if I didn't come over in a few days. Could I last that long.

The phone rang. I pushed with all my strength to get off the bed. I was moving, slowly; slowly I shifted to the edge of my mattress. So much throbbing. I fell.

I laid in searing pain on my bedroom floor. I listened to the phone ring, over and over, no one would come. I hurt so bad. My arm, it was killing me. Why me? I fell into sleep.

Two in the morning. Four hours of serene sleep. Now pain.

I wet myself. I was so ashamed. My room smelled of my piss. I didn't smell it, but I knew, once someone else opened my door, they would. I hoped nobody would find me. Why wouldn't this go away?

I could feel my stomach eating itself. I was so hungry. My mouth was so dry. What little water I had in my body, my head now laid in. I hate drooling. I began crying. I was so pathetic. I was alone. Hours passed.

Hours of thinking, watching my life play out in my head, all my regrets. I didn't care about sex anymore. Fuck sex! I just wanted Camryn. I wanted her than. I wanted her to hold me. Tell me that everything was ok. Hug me, kiss me. Make my damn pain go away.

Fuck my penis, I hated it! It was the one that got me into this mess. If I just let my mind control my body and not my penis, I could be sleeping now. No pain. Wake up in the morning and go over to see her. Watch TV. Talk with her. Laugh with her. Touch her skin; just her hand would be the entire world to me. If I could just smell her, maybe my pain would go away.