Chapter 2

After a very restless night I got up showered, shaved and then dressed for work. Downstairs both girls were eating Rice Chex cereal at the kitchen table but Kaelyn was nowhere to be seen.

"Mom already took off for work." Kathy told me in-between bites.

I noticed Kaelyn hadn't bothered to make any coffee so I set up the pot and then started it brewing.

Finished eating the girls rinsed out their bowls and then after giving me a kiss and telling me they loved me, and reminding me that I should think about forgiving their mother they gathered up their backpacks then headed out to catch the school bus.

Now alone I drank one cup of coffee and then drove in to work.

Sitting in my office I decided if I wanted revenge I needed to know my enemy so I called my old college roommate, fraternity brother, and best friend Jim Shade.

Immediately after graduating Jim had applied for and had been accepted into the FBI academy. Over the years he and I had kept in touch, always calling each another a few times and year, and we had even gotten together a few times when Kaelyn and I, along with the girls, had vacationed in Washington DC and the time that he had vacationed with us staying in our spare bedroom.

He answered promptly... "Director Shade," Jim's familiar voice greeted me.

"Hey Jim," I greeted him in return, "Jack here. How ya doing old buddy?"

"Hey Jack!" He responded. "Overworked, underpaid, but still on the federal dole my friend. And you?"

"I don't know. That's why I called. I need a big favor." I told him honestly.

"Okay, if I can do it you know it's yours Jack."

"I need anything and everything you can dig up on some guy named Mark Larson. He works at the same accounting firm that Kaelyn works at."

"You know what you're asking could really put my ass in a sling don't you? It's not only unethical but illegal as hell."

"Yeah I know," I answered. "I told you it was a big favor."

"What's up with this Mark Larson Jack?" He asked.

In detail I explained what was going on.

"Holy shit!" He exclaimed after hearing the story. "Kaelyn! I don't believe it. You guy's were made for each other. Shit man I'm sorry!"

"Believe it Jim." I assured him.

"Okay Jack, give me a couple of days and I'll see what I can dig up."

"Thanks Jim, I definitely owe you one for this." I told him.

"Hey, if she really hasn't slept with this guy yet you can pay me back by at least trying to patch things up between the two of you. You know how I feel about Kaelyn." He returned.

"I'm not sure that's possible Jim. Even if she isn't fucking him just think about how you'd feel if some guy told your wife not to sleep with you and she fucking did it." I responded.

"Yeah. I see your point." Jim agreed.

"Oh yeah Jim," I said, "If you need to call me for any reason, either call me at work or on my cell, not at home okay."

"Will do," Jim confirmed.

We talked for a while longer discussing how the girls and Kaelyn's parents were coping, along with a few other details then we ended the call.

I arrived home from work at around five-thirty that night. Both the girls were doing their homework at the dinning room table and they greeted me enthusiastically, jumping up and kissing me while asking if I was alright. Kaelyn had not gotten home yet.

I smiled assuring them I was fine and then I headed upstairs to change clothes.

Having changed I had just come down when the front door opened and Kaelyn walked in. Spotting me she said "hi" coldly and I returned her false greeting just as coldly. She entered the dinning room and greeted the girls with much more enthusiasm than she had me but it was obvious that when the girls returned their mother's greeting they were reserved.

Pretending not to notice the girl's coolness toward her Kaelyn told them, "I'm going up to change." And then she left.

It was my night to prepare dinner so I started some water boiling planning on fixing spaghetti and garlic bread with a tossed green salad on the side.

By the time the pasta water was at full boil the girls had finished their homework and Kim was spreading garlic onto slices of French toast, while Kathy was tossing a salad when the phone rang.

Kim answered, "Hello" and then said, "Oh, hi Grams." Then after a slight pause, "Okay, I guess. Could be better, you know." Another pause and then, "Uh-huh, hang on, and I'll go tell her."

Kim covered the mouthpiece with her hand and then turning to me she said, "It's Grams. She want's to talk to mom."

I held out my hand for the phone and then also covering the mouthpiece I asked Kim to go tell her mother that she was wanted on the phone.

Kim ran upstairs then when she returned she nodded to me and I put the phone up to my ear keeping the mouthpiece covered. Both girls came up to me, standing in tight, so I tilted the handset such that all three of us would be able to listen in.

We heard Kaelyn's voice,..."I don't know mom, I suppose it's because after so many years Jack and have settled down into the routine that most couples fall into, raising the girls, work, social events, both business related and otherwise, and more work. The sex that was practically constant at first between us dwindled to weekly, then every other week, and then lately it's become really scarce.

I'm sure that I'm just as guilty as Jack in the fading away of our sex life, maybe even more so I don't know. But it's not just our sex life mom, the recent months have shown a sharp drop off of cuddling and kissing and even the simple touches and words that a couple uses to reassure each other of their love.

I was just feeling unloved, unwanted and taken advantage of. I don't know mom I started feeling like I wasn't attractive any more. Well, then about three months ago I started talking to this guy at work named Mark Larson. Mark started working there about a year ago but we never really talked before other than to say hi when we passed in the hall. Well anyway, after talking with Mark a few times I discovered that when he and I converse, he speaks with remarkable passion. By that I mean I get the sense that the issues at hand have been provoking him for some time, his frustration, dismay, and aggravation are not merely intellectual. You know how it is typically when you talk to a man they may complain or remark negatively, but the associated emotions don't show much. Well, with him they are so plain I can feel them myself.

And when I opened myself up to him he completely understood me and knew exactly what I was feeling, something I haven't gotten from Jack in quite a while. Mark just pays such close attention to little things I say or do it's like I'm the most important thing in the world. When I'm with Mark, I want to look good for him. He makes me feel sexy. I feel more confident. I take the time to dress up. The twinkle is back in my eyes. I haven't felt that way about Jack in months. Whenever I walk away from Mark I feel light-headed, giddy, confused and curiously pleased. His eagerness to unveil his secret emotions to me, and his understanding of my secret emotions so unabashedly seems like a sort of private club of two, even to exchange affection. And I am truly of a mind to give him any and all of those things mom, and yet, on the other hand, I'm still unsure."

Then Grams asked, "Have you done anything sexual with this man Kaelyn?"

Kaelyn answered, "No mom. I wouldn't do anything like that unless Jack and I were separated. Well, Mark has kissed me a few times and we've gone out to lunch together but nothing beyond that. Oh, when we kissed he has tried to touch my breasts a few times but each time I told him no and he stopped."

Grams again, "Are you sure you're telling me everything Kaelyn? You told me you feel like exchanging affections with this man. Are you certain you're not leaving anything out?"

Kaelyn: "I'm sure mom. Well, there were a few times when he took me to a private spot for a conversation, and he stood near me, and spoke nearly in whispers. Now I assumed this was only out of practical consideration, because he didn't want to be overheard at work. But the whole atmosphere was pretty intense. He made it plain on these occasions that he was telling me secrets maybe one or two other people might know about his thoughts. And he did all this with great fervor, as if unburdening his soul, as if I were the only person who could truly understand. Our minds seem to be so much alike it only intensifies the experience you know what I mean?"

Grams: "I know nothing of the kind. What does this ... this Mark fellow look like?"

Kaelyn: "Oh he's a pretty good-looking guy, he has a very pleasant speaking voice, and he smells good too."

Grams: "You stupid twit! I thought I raised you with more smarts than that. You just described Jack you ninny, with the only exception that you're willing to open up to this bozo Mark confessing all your inner-most feelings, yet you're unwilling to do so with your own husband, a man that loves you more than the whole world put together! How stupid can you be girl?! Can't you get it through that thick skull of yours that this Mark fellow is a predator? A predator that has trained himself to recognize a venerable woman as easily as if she had a big sign hanging around her neck with the word, "Seducible" in big red letters written across it."

After hearing Grams Kim pumped her left fist in the air.

Kaelyn: "No mom he isn't..."

Grams interrupted, "Don't give me that girl! Even I know that no man responds to a woman with such deep emotion unless he's trying to seduce her or he's gay! You had better take a real hard look inside your heart Kaelyn before you destroy everything that has any real meaning in your life. You've already got the catch of the century in Jack, and with the way your girls feel about their father you'll lose them in the bargain."

Kaelyn: "I ... I don't know ... I'm so..."

Grams: "You're so nothing but venerable and feeling sorry for yourself right now Kaelyn. Talk to Jack honey. He's your best friend and he would turn the world upside down for you if needed. You just think about it and you'll see I'm right. Now go do the right thing."

Kaelyn: "Okay mom I will. I'll think about it."

Grams: "Promise me you'll think hard child. Promise me."

Kaelyn: "I promise mom. I promise to think hard."

Grams: "Good girl. I love you. You've got a whole bunch of people around you that love you honey. Listen to those of us that do love you and not the ones that just pass in the night."

Kaelyn: "I will mom. I will."

Grams: "Goodnight honey."

Kaelyn: "Goodnight mom ... and thanks. I love you."

Grams: "I love you too honey. I always will, no matter what."

Then they broke the connection.

After I hung up the extension phone Kathy exclaimed, "Way to go Grams!"

"Do you think Grams got through to her dad?" Kim asked.

"Who knows?" I answered without any enthusiasm while shrugging my shoulders

"Does that mean you've decided not to forgive mom no matter what?" Kathy asked.

"Pretty much," I told her and then I added, "Come on girls let's go finish up dinner."

Both the girls looked dejected but they did help with dinner.

When dinner was close to being finished Kathy stood at the bottom of the staircase and called up, "Mom! Dinner's almost ready!"

A good half hour passed before Kaelyn joined us but when she did it was really something. She looked radiant. She was dressed in a low-cut, skintight, black semi sheer, silk jersey knit gown. Her round breasts were generously exposed and rested precariously atop her bodice, and as she walked, her long, shapely legs provocatively peeked out from a revealing slit running up the front of her dress. Her light hair was wrapped tightly in a French twist, leaving her long slender neck exposed, with a single tear-drop pearl necklace suspended from a thin gold chain looking subtle beneath her patrician profile.

Both Kim's and Kathy's eyes looked as large as saucers as they just stared at their mother unable to say anything.

Without even realizing it I stood up when Kaelyn had entered. She looked like a princess. Then it hit me and I really got pissed. Looking first toward Kim and then to Kathy I said, "Girls, would you give your mother and I a moment alone please?"

Without a word they both got up and left the room.

Once the girls were gone I looked directly at Kaelyn and with anger in my voice I said, "I see you've got a big night out planned with lover-boy! Well let me tell you something Kaelyn! You damn well better take a change of clothes with you, because you won't be getting back inside this house without a court order!"

Kaelyn wrung her hands together nervously and in a soft voice she said, "I swear to you Jack, I did not dress up because I was going out. I dressed up to have dinner with my husband and our two daughters."

I didn't believe her. My threat to lock her out of the house must have really scared her. "Riiight," I said sarcastically drawing out the word. "It must have just slipped my mind that you always dress like this on spaghetti night."

Looking directly into my eyes she said, "Jack, I don't know how or why but somehow I had convinced myself that you wanted different things from our relationship than I did. Well, tonight mom talked to me and it was like a light switch had been flipped on inside a dark room and I could see again. In that light I realized that for months I have been focusing only on the little insignificant troublesome things with our relationship, and completely ignoring all the big wonderful things we have together. I can easily understand how you might feel that I'm not being completely honest about this right now, wondering how could I possibly switch from one extreme to another in so short a period of time, I'm sorry to say that I have no answers for you Jack that will convince you of my sincerity, because I don't understand it myself. Honestly Jack, I don't understand this any more than I understand how I got to where I was in the first place.

"You have nothing to lose here Jack. After talking with the girls and then later with my mother I came to fully understand just how wrong I've been and how much I've hurt you. I also realize that nothing I can say or do right now will change how you must feel about me, and I know that I may have lost you forever, but my dear, dear Jack, even though you may not want me anymore I refuse to give up on you without a fight. Honestly honey, I dressed up tonight in order to seduce you. So, that's the long and the short of it ... I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'll fight until my very last breath to win you back."

I looked back at her and in a calm voice I said, "You know what Kaelyn? I probably would have been able to get around you letting another man console you, flatter you, share your inter most secrets, touch you in a possessive way, and even kiss you, but when you stopped making love with me because that sorry son-of-a-bitch told you not to, that I can't forgive. That's what he did, didn't he, Kaelyn? He told you not to fuck me, didn't he?"

She got a confused look on her face. "What? No, he never, that was my idea..." suddenly her expression changed to one of comprehension, and then it changed again to that of shame, then clasping a hand over her mouth she burst into tears and wailed, "Oh God! What have I done? What have I done? Oh dear God!" and then she abruptly turned away and bolted for the stairs.

Suddenly, my rage left me as I watched her retreating back, racked with sobs.