Chapter 1

Four of the most dreaded words a man can hear from his woman are: "We need to talk". Those words are a woman's secret code for: ha-ha boy, you're fucked. The worst thing about hearing these words from my woman is that it undoubtedly signaled the oncoming of a long drawn out conversation about how I don't have a vagina and how she doesn't understand that. Other features are senseless bitching about her ridiculous insecurity's that defy logic and rationality. And my wife Kaelyn had said those words to me the moment I walked through the door after work.

I knew that "We need to talk" might be said after the toilet seat is left in the upright position, and/or she felt that I put my needs before hers and/or I had forgotten our anniversary, and/or I'd been spending to much time at work, and/or I didn't help around the house enough and/or ... but I didn't take those words lightly knowing they were my clue that I needed to act quickly.

"Okay honey. When?" I asked tentatively.

"Both the girls are over at my moms doing their homework, so we can either talk now or we can wait until after dinner and the girl's are in bed."

As serious as Kaelyn looked there was no way I was willing to wait until after dinner for the shit to hit the fan so I said, "I'm just going to grab a beer and then we'll talk. Do you want one?"

"No thank you." She answered curtly then turning she walked away and took a seat at the dinning room table.

I went into the kitchen, grabbed a Corona out of the frig, popped the top and then joined my wife in the dinning room. Taking a seat across from her I said, "Okay, so what did I do now?"

Kaelyn just looked at me and without answering my question she said, "I've lost the passion for our marriage Jack. Whatever we used to be, who I used to be, and how our relationship was set up isn't working for me anymore. I feel trapped and I think we need to get a separation."

I loved my wife and my two kids more than life itself and her words came like a kick in my gut! I knew that things had been tough in our marriage from time to time, but we always would work things out. But today, out of the blue, she announced that she thought we should separate!

"What!" I snapped. "Are you asking me for a divorce?"

"Yes ... no, I don't know." She answered.

"What the hell does that mean for Christ sake?!"

"I don't know what it means," she responded calmly. "I just know I have to make a change."

"A change! What the hell has gotten into you Kaelyn?! We've been married for sixteen years for Christ sake. We have two teen-aged daughters together. I don't believe this shit!" My voice had risen quite a bit.

"If you're going to sit there and yell I'm not going to talk to you Jack. I'm trying to be as fair to you as I can possibly be." Kaelyn said while making a motion to get up.

I forced myself to calm down and in a more reasonable tone of voice I said, "Alright Kaelyn, sit down please. I'm sorry. I just don't understand where all this came from all of a sudden."

Retaking her seat Kaelyn said, "It isn't all of a sudden Jack I've been miserable for quite a while now. Believe me I didn't want things to end this way. I'm sure neither of us had ever imagined this moment when we vowed to love each other. But I also know I can not keep going the way we're going. I wake up every morning feeling trapped and stuck. I go to bed every night feeling like I'm living a lie. Sure, I care for you Jack, but other than that, I feel empty for you. As we are now there is little warmth and even less affection between the two of us. Over time, I realized that I had to take action. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff, and feeling that I must preserve what is left of my life my only choices are to either fall over that cliff or walk away. I'm trying to decide if I need to walk away."

Just like that, I felt the earth being pulled out from under me. How could this have happened? Sixteen years of marriage should not just end like this. Those were the words that echoed in my mind.

"Is there someone else Kaelyn? Have you found someone else? Is that it?" I asked barely able to contain the fear in my voice.

"I'm not sure. Maybe." She answered.

"Maybe!" I shouted. "Maybe! Are you sleeping with another man behind my back Kaelyn?!"

"I told you not to shout Jack or this conversation is over." Kaelyn admonished me. "And no I'm not sleeping with him. I wouldn't do that to you. I respect you far too much to do anything like that. I'm not one of those women that cuckold's their husband striping away his manhood, dignity and self respect. You should know me better than that."

"So you expect me to believe that you're not having some tawdry little affair with this dick head is that right?" I asked feeling really pissed off now but controlling my voice.

"Not a physical affair no, but it may be an emotional one." She responded.

"In all the years that we've been together I have never once cheated on you Kaelyn, not even emotionally, so I'm not thinking very nice things about you right now, and even if I did believe that you haven't spread your legs for this guy yet, and remember I said yet, just what in the hell is it you two do together then?!" My voice rose again uncontrollably.

"Don't get vulgar Jack I'm trying to be completely honest with you here. We share our more intimate thoughts, he is quite capable of showing his feelings, and has bared his soul to me more than once. He and I talk. We share our feeling together. We comfort one another. We understand each other's needs and wants. We..."

"I just don't believe this shit!" I shook my head cutting her words off. "You comfort each other? Understand each other's needs? Christ! What he wants is to get into your pants Kaelyn! So what liberties have you allowed this man to take Kaelyn? You said he isn't fucking you, but exactly what liberties are you allowing this man to have with my wife in order to fulfill his wants and needs?"

"None ... well almost none. We've kissed a few times." She answered.

"Kissed a few times huh?" I just stared across at the woman I didn't even know any more. "And you're not fucking each other huh? Have you let him feel your tits Kaelyn?! Have you had his cock in your mouth while he eats you out in order to fill his needs?!"

"No!" She said emphatically. "Damn it Jack! I'm trying to be reasonable about this but obviously you're not willing to act rationally so this conversation is over! I'm trying to be up front with you, which is a lot more than most women would do in my situation. I told you we only relate platonically and I won't do anything with him until you and I are settled. And yes, he has tried to touch me on my breasts and other places but I told him no and he respects my wishes."

With that said she stood up and started walking away.

It took every bit of will power I had to force down my anger when I said in a low, deadly serious tone to her retreating back, "I don't know what I've done to make you hate me so much Kaelyn, because I love you with all my heart, but I do know that "sexual" things happen in life when sex is the furthest thing from our minds, and no matter what has or hasn't happened physically between you two you are at the very least having and emotional affair which includes emotional intimacy and that injures me almost as much as if you had a one night stand or it was just about casual sex. At this point I'm not sure if I'm even able to forgive you no matter what. But I swear before God Kaelyn, if you share spit with this man one more time, or you let him squeeze just one of your breasts, touch one of your nipples, or even one hair on your pussy you won't have to figure out if you want a divorce or not because I'll decide for you."

I saw her flinch and then she stopped walking and turning back to me with tears in her eyes she said, "I don't hate you Jack. I'm sorry. I just don't know what I feel for you right now. And I told you I won't cheat on you. No sex, no petting, no blow jobs, no hand jobs, no nothing until you and I have figured out where we're going. Okay?"

"No it's not okay Kaelyn." I said calmly. "Damn it! Giving your emotions away to another man is just as bad a form of cheating as having sex with him! What you've done just rips my heart out. Can I forgive you? I honestly don't know. How you could just throw sixteen years of marriage away, along with a husband and two wonderful daughters that love you with all their hearts, because of some infatuation that you have with some Don Juan who's probably only playing you so he can knock off a piece of ass and put another notch in his belt is beyond me."

"He's not that way!" Kaelyn defended him. "I'm not just another piece of ass to him. We understand each other. Do you think this is easy for me! I can't help what I'm feeling."

"Oh come off it Kaelyn." I countered. "You're a smart woman with a college education, just think about it. This story is as old as the first cave man and cave woman. Any guy that's willing to mess around with a married woman is after only one thing, some steady pussy for a while. The fact that that pussy happens to belong to another man only makes the conquest that much better for these kinds of creeps. Think about it Kaelyn."

"You're wrong!" She snapped back and then added, "I can see this is getting us nowhere so what's the use in even talking."

"Just remember what I said Kaelyn, any spit, one tit, one nipple, one pussy hair, and I won't even have to think about your emotional infidelity, because there will be no going back for us."

"And just when did you get to be in charge?!" She demanded.

"When you convinced yourself that an emotional affair isn't really cheating, and you weren't sure if you wanted a divorce or not," I answered and then I added, "Just out of curiosity is lover boy married?"

"Yes ... no, he's separated." She returned.

"Ah, I see, he's so damned in tuned to a woman's needs that he can't even hold his own marriage together." I mocked.

"Screw you!" She snapped and then she hurriedly headed up stairs. A few seconds later I heard the master bedroom door slam shut.

I was pissed. I knew what that guy wanted and I couldn't even imagine as smart as Kaelyn is how she couldn't see it. I mean heck, Kaelyn is a stunning woman. At thirty-six, she keeps herself in good shape. Her breasts weren't heavy, so even after nursing two children, they don't sag, and she has the most magnificent pair of nipples, especially when she's aroused, that I've ever seen. When she is aroused and she removes her bra her nipples appeared so erotically engorged that I just love them, love them in my mouth and loved them in my hands. She's tall at five eight and weighs in at about 120 pounds. She has long, gorgeous legs, a small waist and womanly hips. She trims her pubic hair neatly in order to wear her rather smallish bikini, but being blonde, I would be able to see her thick labia when she slipped off her panties even if she didn't shave. Hell, what's not to want.

Playing a hunch I waited a minute or two and then walking into the kitchen I carefully lifted the telephone handset covering the mouth piece with my right palm and listened.

I heard a man speaking, " ... you probably shouldn't have said anything about me to him right now Kaelyn."

Then Kaelyn's voice, "I had to Mark. Jack's a good man and a good father and I won't sneak around on him. He deserves better than that. I've told you that more than once."

The man's voice again, "I know, but I still think throwing me into the mix was a bad idea, but now that it's done I really don't think you should continue to sleep with him until you've figured out what you're going to do."

Now that really pissed me off. Where the fuck did this guy get off telling my wife she shouldn't sleep with her husband. I almost said something but managed to hold my tongue. At that moment I also decided if Kaelyn complied with this ass-holes wish of not sleeping with me our marriage was over.

Kaelyn said, "Do you really think I shouldn't even sleep in the same bed with him?"

He responded, "I most certainly do. You know yourself that you shouldn't have sex with him under any circumstances. Having sex with him would really be a bad idea right now Kaelyn and if you're both in the same bed together who knows he could force himself on you."

She answered, "Jack wouldn't do that. He would never force himself on me. I know him and if I told him no that would be the end of it. Besides we've been sleeping in the same bed and we haven't had sex in over a month."

Mark: "That doesn't matter. I still don't think sleeping in the same bed with him is a good idea especially now that you've told him about me. I strongly suggest you two sleep separately."

Kaelyn: "You're probably right Mark. You normally are. Okay I'll follow your suggestion. Well, mom should be dropping the girl's off at any moment and I still need to get dinner on the stove so I'd better go. I'll see you tomorrow."

Mark: "See you tomorrow."

Kaelyn: "Okay. Bye." The phone went dead.

Fuck! Was all I could think.

I grabbed another beer and then sat down in the living room.

I heard noises coming from the kitchen so I assumed Kaelyn was fixing dinner, then a few moments later the front door opened and I heard my eldest daughter Kim, who had just turned fifteen, shout out, "Mom, Dad we're home. Grams had something to do so she just dropped us off."

"I'm in the kitchen fixing dinner Kim. Did you and Kathy get all your homework done?" Kaelyn called out from the kitchen.

"Yes." Both Kim and Kathy, who was fourteen, said in unison as they entered the living room heading toward the staircase to their bedrooms.

"Hi dad," Kim said coming over and giving me a kiss on the cheek before making her way toward the stairs.

"Hi dad," Kathy mimicked her sister also kissing me on the cheek before chasing after her older sister.

"Hi girl's," I said. "I love you."

"Love you too dad," they both answered before disappearing upstairs.

It was obvious to me that Kaelyn had not said anything about her epiphany of falling out of love with me and finding her new soul mate to our girls. Well I sure as hell wasn't going to tell them. That would be up to Kaelyn.

Dinner was a glum affair. Kaelyn and I didn't speak to each other at all but I don't think the girl's noticed because they spoke to both of us as if everything were normal.

As I picked at my food I reflected on the past trying to figure out when things started falling apart for us.

For most, attending college is a glimpse at life as a grown-up. You make grown-up friends, discover your independent self, study hard by day, and maybe even attend an occasional party by night. These experiences leave you looking back on your college days with a special fondness. But for some graduates like me, the fondness extends beyond good times and friendship to something much more enduring because that's where I first met Kaelyn.

I first saw Kaelyn when I was a sophomore studying electronics. Jim Shade, a Criminal Justice major, my roommate, fraternity brother, and best friend and I were having lunch at the Main House when I spotted this gorgeous, tall, obviously freshman girl sitting at a table with what had to be her parents across the room. I said to Jim, "I'm going to marry that girl!"

During that same lunch, seeing me watch his daughter, I learned later that Kaelyn's father had told his wife that Kaelyn and I would marry.

I did a little nosing around to learn her name. Soon a date was set up. We hit it off immediately, going to campus events, fraternity parties, playing down at the bridge in the snow, going to the local Pizza parlor, and Fready's pub. We dated steadily until my graduation.

Then we had to part! I had graduated and Kaelyn was still in school. I knew what I wanted so after sending in my resume and setting up an interview I flew to Kaelyn's home town and got a job as an Electronics Engineer at a well known semi-conductor manufacturing company.

She did a little dating while attending college and I did even less. I really missed her while she was away. Fortunately, I managed to visit her a few times. We talked of marriage. Hey, she was now nineteen years old and we loved each other! Wisely her dad said, "Hands off till she graduates college."

We did decide to wait until she earned her diploma and I continued working while she was in school.

After Kaelyn graduated I drove to Kaelyn's parent's house to talk to her father. I was sitting at the kitchen table when her dad came home for lunch and I asked him for Kaelyn's hand in marriage. He leaned over me and with a gleam in his eye and just the hint of a smile on his lips he said, "Take good care of my little girl or I'll tear your head off and feed it to the pigs!"

Three months later Kaelyn and I were married and we moved into our own rented apartment. With her accounting degree in hand Kaelyn took a job at an accounting firm. Aside from some normal newly wed tension between us we did enjoy our first year together, just the two of us. Then it happened. She was expecting! We went to Lamaze classes. We went through the classes and with her strength and determination she gave birth to our first daughter Kimberly. I can't explain how happy I was that day and how proud I was of her. Kaelyn could do anything she put her mind to. A year after that our second daughter Kathy came along and a year later Kaelyn went back to work.

Both of our careers blossomed and three years later we purchased our first home. Kaelyn continued to amaze me with her talents. Our home, at the time, had decor that many would say should be in magazines. Her artistic talents were fantastic. In the meantime she was a wonderful mother and terrific wife. She could juggle her time with ease. We were in love and very happy.