Chapter 4: Lessons

Monday 26-Feb 2007

Chris didn't sleep well that night — just where did he stand with Lisa? He was up at the crack of dawn, and got to school early. Lisa wasn't there, and he prowled the corridors nervously, waiting for her to arrive. It would be so cool if he was really on with her; she was definitely the catch of the class. Of course, then he'd have to see how far he could get with her. He suspected that it wouldn't be Lisa who'd let him fulfil his third New Year's resolution, but just being known as her boyfriend, even for a short while, would improve his standing with the other girls. At least, that was how he figured it worked.

When only a few minutes were left before the bell rang, Chris gave up and headed into the home room. A couple of the boys who weren't on the trip were sitting just inside the door, and they welcomed him, asking about the river trip. Chris filled them on the events, telling them about the amazing rain. They agreed; it had rained heavily throughout Melbourne. Then he told them how he'd gone with Lisa. "She was so scared, but I looked after her," he told them.

"What?!" he heard Lisa from behind him. He turned, and there she was. The expression on her face conveyed her shocked fury. "You prick!" she spat in his face, and then she was gone.

There was a shocked silence. Chris looked around the room to see everyone looking at him, and he slunk down to his seat in the back of the room, wishing he could hide himself under his desk.

Sunday 4-Mar 2007

Chris sat quietly over his coffee while his mum watched him. "So, it wasn't such a good week then, was it?"

He looked up at her and shook his head. It had all been going so well, and all of a sudden it had completely fallen apart. Not one of the girls in his class, or any of his subjects, would so much as look at him, let alone speak to him. Lisa had been angry beyond measure. Chris didn't really understand why she was quite so angry. It wasn't like anything he'd said wasn't the truth. She had been gone the whole day, and though he hadn't heard that she'd said anything, the other girls in the class not only wouldn't speak or look at him, they seemed to be keeping a protective screen between them. Once, later in the week, Chris had been minded to confront Lisa and ask her what he'd done that was so wrong, but he hadn't been able to get close to her. Even Shahia seemed to be ignoring him more thoroughly than she had before.

If that wasn't enough, he seemed to be having trouble focusing. He'd sit in his classes worrying about it, and at home he'd sit in front of TV instead of doing his homework. That had lead to another detention, another missed cricket practice, and which had meant he got a warning from the coach: miss another cricket practice, and he'd be off the team. Finally, his mum, of all people, had left him for dead on their bike ride that morning. Not a good week at all.

He sighed. "I've had better."

"Want to talk about it?"

Chris thought about that. He was probably going to have to, but actually, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea.

"How about you start by telling me what happened with Lisa."

His mum knew? How? Oh, of course, she was friends with Lisa's mum. He grimaced and recounted what happened as best he could. To his surprise, she smiled approval.

"Good."

"What's good about it?"

"The story you told me matches almost exactly what Lisa told her mum. The first important step is to be honest with yourself."

"Now, none of the girls will talk to me at all!"

"Yep, seems fair to me," his mum replied lightly.

"I just don't understand, what was so bad about what I did?" Chris was almost crying. His frustration was building up. His mum didn't seem to think this was a very big deal.

"Chris, you were wrong two different ways.

"Firstly, you went into your prospective relationship with Lisa with the wrong attitude. You were focused on you, how it would make you feel, how great you felt. You weren't thinking about Lisa — how she was feeling, why she was interested, what she wanted. And because you weren't, you screwed it up. I was surprised by how quickly you did, but I figured that you were going to."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Actually, I tried, last Sunday, but you weren't listening. Pride goeth before a fall, and all you could see was how cool you were."

Chris thought back to what his mum had said. Actually, she had said something like that, but he'd brushed it off, and she'd let him. "Why didn't you push me harder?"

"Some things you have to learn for yourself. Other people can tell you facts, but sometimes people can only learn their value the hard way. As your mum, I'd rather have you listen, but you prefer to learn things by falling on your face."

She waited while Chris thought about that.

"If you want to have a relationship with someone, you have to think about them. There's no way around this. Otherwise it won't last. Playing with your mates, your shared interest in playing is all you need. But you're on the threshold of adulthood now, and you need to start looking at your relationships in adult terms, in terms of how the other person feels — all of your relationships, not just with girls your age. You always need to be analysing what the other person wants from you, thinking about how to give it them."