Chapter 22: Dancing and Spinning

Friday 15-June 2007

Tonight was the big night, the Year-Eleven dance. It was hardly worth trying to do any schoolwork; it seemed that no one could focus. It kind of struck Chris as funny; somehow he seemed to be a little out of touch with all the excitement. Yes, he was looking forward to it, but no, it wasn't the end of the world. He listened to them all talking about it: the boys discussing who might get laid or who might take booze or drugs along, the girls talking about who was going to be the best dressed, who was a better dancer, who would hook up with who.

It was kind of cool, really, to know that he didn't have to worry about all that; Shahia was going with him, it was all organised. They were all sleeping over at Chris's house tonight, though it was a tight squeeze; in fact, Chris was giving up his room so that Shahia and Maria could sleep in it, and he was going to sleep on the floor in the lounge room. It had been a lot of work to get her to the dance, a lot more than he'd imagined when he first asked her, but he didn't regret a bit of it.

He was also amused that the class was abuzz with speculation about who he was going with. Chris had said that he wasn't sure whether he was going, right up until this week, when he confirmed that he was, and probably with someone, but he'd refused to say who. The few who were smart enough to think of Shahia were also smart enough not to say anything. The rest were having a field day. He knew that most money was on Lisa, since she had made it clear all along that she was going, but alone. But Lisa had just laughed.

"Chris? After all that's happened? No, he's a mate, but we ain't going together."

To his knowledge, no one had even asked Shahia about whether she was going. Her cautious explorations outside her shell hadn't been enough to make anyone bother. Only Lisa knew the truth.

It wasn't quite a grand entrance, but nevertheless, Chris was quite satisfied with the response when they turned up. In particular, Jenna had been by the door, and her jaw had dropped when she saw Shahia.

Chris understood that — his jaw had dropped too. In all the time he'd known Shahia, she'd never once dressed to impress. Now — wow. She was wearing a tight white singlet top, a pair of dark skin-tight jeans with silver decorations, leather boots, and a cool leather jacket. She looked great, and she'd done something with her hair that made it look sensational. She looked a million dollars.

She'd smiled at him when he saw her. "This is the old me. It's the first time I've worn this stuff since Mum and Dad died — it's a little small now, but it just fits. Actually, this is my first night out since they died."

Chris's dad had driven them there. Once he would've worried about how dorky that was, but now, he couldn't care. On the way, Shahia whispered in his ear. "Chris, I'm actually more than a little nervous about tonight. You make me feel safe, please stay close to me."

So he stayed close, and walked her onto the dance floor. It was immediately apparent why Shahia loved to dance: she was good at it, and he felt like a clown next to her. Previously, he'd thought that he could hold his own, but next to Shahia...

It wasn't so much that she had outrageous moves or anything, it was about purity; she moved like quicksilver. Each move was perfectly in time, all part of one long consistent flowing movement that just belonged. You could just feel the music running through her core.

Finally Chris understood why she'd been so keen to make it tonight, and why her old classmate Andrew had commented on it in the first place. Here, she was at home. It wasn't that she cared about anyone else seeing her — maybe she had, in that other life, but here and now, it was just about the pleasure of the music, letting go and becoming one with the beat.

Actually, there was one person she cared for, he knew, and he looked to see her watching him, and smiling at him, pure pleasure that she was there with him.

All of a sudden it hit him with a bang: he was in love with this girl. Completely and utterly gone. He realised that he'd been denying it for weeks, trying to pretend that all he wanted to be was just friends. Well, that one smile had just crumbled all the walls he'd built.

He smiled back at her and moved a bit closer. She turned around and backed into him so they were moving together with the music, his arms around her.

How he wanted this girl! He wanted to hold her, protect her, empower her, make her blossom — all the things he was already doing, but only more. Much more. He wanted to be one with her.

His mum knew, he realised. He remembered the look she'd given him when she found out that he'd told Shahia about the riot, although that wasn't the day. If there was any particular day, it was the night he'd gone around to her place, and they'd shared that ice cream at midnight. But it hadn't come all at once, just slowly, like the sun rising over the land as he slept outside with his swag, a glorious new day dawning.

It was making his head spin, moving with her like this, as if they were already one. He wanted it ‑ so much! ‑ but he was already so close to her, and he knew her life too well; this just couldn't be. Even if she decided that she wanted him that way — and only here and now, this dance, was the first hint of that. He discounted that due to her love of dancing. Anyway, even if she wanted him like that, it wasn't appropriate: she would put Hassan, Alyssa, and Maria first. So would he, he realised. Until their status, and hers, was resolved, he couldn't allow their relationship to progress any further.

Reluctantly he drifted back from her. She spun round to look at him, disappointed. After a few more songs, together, but not as quite as together as they'd been, they decided to stop for a drink. As they walked to the drinks station, they ran into Lisa.

"Shahia! Oh, wow, you look amazing! Where did you get those jeans?"

Shahia named a very expensive shop that mainly carried fashionable Italian imports. While they were pursuing that, Chris looked around as they compared notes. Most of the girls were wearing clubbing outfits like Shahia, though there were a few in dresses. None looked as good as Shahia though.

With a shock, he saw Andrew Johnson from St Joseph's, dancing with a Vietnamese girl named Thui, who was in one of the other year-eleven classes. They got the drinks, and then the three of them went out dancing together, and Andrew still hadn't seen them.