Chapter 5

The next two months passed in a blur. We settled into a comfortable domestic routine. For someone who said she didn't have much experience in relationships, McKayla was very easy to live with. We spent most weeknights at my place, the weekends at her house.

The sex was great, but our relationship wasn't about that. Around her, I felt free. She was The One. Being out in public with her was still awkward and I started to notice that I became snippy with the guys at work whenever they'd make an off-hand remark about lesbians or homosexuals. Even in this day and time, some of the folks I worked with still had old-fashioned Bible Belt attitudes towards gay people. Except, of course, when it involved some hot girl-on-girl action that inevitably ended up with a guy in the middle.

To me, the worst part about what some of my co-workers believed wasn't that they believed the things they did, but that they were just parroting back what their preachers or their parents had told them. It seemed more of a knee-jerk reaction to gays than anything that was thought-out or deliberate. So I kept my mouth shut as best I could.

I did my best not to give myself away as being in a lesbian relationship, but I'm sure some of the guys figured it out. I didn't know what my boss would do if he found out; would he fire me? He was a good guy and seemed to have a lot of typical guy attitudes about gays, but I didn't want to chance it.

Allyson and Bretlynn knew for sure, and both of them were nothing but happy for us. The four of us continued to go out on a regular basis and Bretlynn even joked that we were her guy magnets. Allyson told us that her boyfriend wanted to go on a double date with us and then wanted to see us try and seduce her. I mischievously told her that would be fine but he couldn't watch.

In the back of my mind, I tried not to rush McKayla. She gradually became my best friend in addition to being my lover. She handled everything better than I expected. On a couple of occasions, she warned me that sometimes she pushed those around her away, but I never got that feeling from her.

Life was good until one day, our relationship changed.

I got back to my apartment before she did. Even though she worked right next door to me, we often drove separately because she had lots of meetings with clients or had to go to the main branch or had some other reason not to carpool. Plus, riding to work together all the time would have been rather obvious.

Sitting on the couch, I tried to figure out the best way to break the news to her.

A little after 5:00, she came through the door and set her briefcase down on the end table like she usually did.

"What's wrong?" McKayla asked, seeing me there fidgeting.

Nearly in tears, I couldn't bring myself to speak. Then she noticed a couple of boxes on the floor next to me. I had put all of her things in the boxes, figuring that she would leave me.

Her face paled, the blood draining out. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"No!" I exclaimed. Breaking up with her was the last thing I wanted. "No ... it's not that..."

"What is it, sweetie?" she sat down next to me and took my trembling hands.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady my voice. "I went to the doctor today. You know where I haven't been feeling well lately..."

There was a medical report folded up on my lap. I handed it to her.

My voice was hoarse with fear. "I'm pregnant."

"What? ... How? ... Who?" On her face, I could see a range of emotions. Anger. Disbelief. Betrayal. Hurt.

"Travis," I whispered. "He's the only one it could be."

Her lip curled up and I saw her bite back a stinging reply. Her fingers clenched around the paper. Her knuckles turned white.

"When?" I expected her to explode and call me every name in the book. It was no less than I deserved.

"Right before my birthday," I had done the math and there was only one occasion when I could have gotten knocked up. "We used a condom, but I guess it broke or something."

She got up and started pacing around my living room. I could see the indecision in her eyes as the gears turned in her head.

"Have you told him?" McKayla asked. Her voice was curt, but I expected that.

I shook my head.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," I said quietly. All of this was information overload for me, too. "I missed my period last month. But that's not unusual. When I missed this month, I went out and got one of those home pregnancy tests. It came up positive so I went to the doctor's today. It's too late for the morning after pill. I can either have the baby or get an abortion."

"You can't have an abortion," McKayla said suddenly. Not that it was her decision to make, but I knew she that's not something she would not even put into the mix.

"What are you going to do?" I dared to ask, the tears coming to my eyes. I expected her to be pissed off and storm out. That's why I gathered up her things. Our relationship had been going so well, but I couldn't ask her to stay with me. Not like this.

She didn't reply immediately. She chewed on her lip nervously. All I could do was hope for the best.

"So this didn't happen after our first date?"

"No, sweetheart." That was my one hope to keep our relationship alive. "I swear to you ... I haven't even spoken to him since you and I went out that first time."

It seemed like an eternity before she moved. McKayla surprised me by turning and heading back into my bedroom. I started to get up off the couch.

"Your stuff is all—" I called, but she was ignoring me.

I heard her throwing some things around. Not angrily, but like she was looking for something. A few minutes later, she came back out. Some of my clothes were stuffed into a duffel bag over her shoulder along with a kit of makeup and some other things.