Chapter 2

I woke up with to a world of pain. I had to have been hit by lightning again. A bit of my old levity came back, when I thought of the old saw about lightning never striking the same spot twice. The pain was too much and I just looked at the odd coloured wall then went back to sleep.

I awoke a second time to see a nurse with an odd uniform. She gave me a drink to wet my mouth but I went to sleep once again.

It was dark so I guess the lights had been dimmed. Sitting in a chair was a familiar woman dressed in oddly styled clothing. My heart beat very fast now; for I knew who she was.

Was I now dead? I was not religious but my mother, who had been dead for almost thirty years, suddenly showed up, I was not so sure now.

"Mom?" I croaked.

The woman got up quickly for she had been asleep. "Jeff, you are all right? They said that you had regained consciousness a few times. I was afraid you would never awake."

"Mom?"

"Yes I am here, darling." She paused for a moment and said, "You were struck by lightning. Some hikers found you and called the police. You're lucky to be alive."

"Is it really you mom?"

"Who else would it be? I have been watching here for three days."

"What day is it?"

"Tuesday."

"What is the date mom?"

"April 21 1958. In two days it will be your birthday. You were hit by lightning a week ago."

This could not be. The last I recall it was 2008 and April the third. "How are Sue and Maggie?"

"They are doing fine although Susan is still angry that this happened."

I vaguely remembered a similar conversation fifty years ago. At that time, I went home for a rest in a week and Susan started on me after only a few days. I had bandages on my burns but she fought me even though I was in excruciating pain. The blisters were ripped open and I had to go back for new dressings and a lie to how it happened.

I asked a few more questions about my past and fell asleep on her. The bright light of the morning seemed to wake me up. Mom was still there though, I thought that she would leave my dream. Looking around I saw that the paint colour was the same as it was before. The nurse's uniform was the old style. Mom was dressed old even for 58. New clothing was hard to come by on a limited budget.

Looking at her closer, I could see the worry that most mothers must go through in a situation like this. Her hair was up in a bun that I remembered and she was wearing the green hat that I disliked so much. I was able to turn a bit and saw all the old medical equipment. All of it I had repaired at one time or another and here it was still tube operated.

A candy stripper came in. She had pushed a large cart down the hall and looked to see if there was anyone here besides me. She left again but I got no lunch. When mother woke up, I said, "Good morning Mom. It looks like I will live because of my own special guardian angel looking over me. You should go home, have a shower and then try to catch up on some sleep. I should be here until at least Friday. Then I get a week or two at home before going back to school."

She looked at me oddly and said, "Hello Sweetie. How do you know this? I don't even know, and I'm your mother."

"The way I feel Mom."

"You are only a boy that is not quite twelve and you are trying to tell me what the doctors are going to say?"

"The doctor won't be around until after ten I think. Please go home. No matter what happens, I will not go home today. Would you ask the nurse for the menu? I haven't eaten anything for a while and if they see me wanting solid food there is a better chance of being discharged."

"You don't get menus in a hospital Jeff. If you hadn't been hurt I would think something is wrong with you." She did get up though then get her large purse. She came over, gave me one of her infrequent kisses, and added, "Behave yourself Jeff."

"I can do nothing but behave myself Mom." She just looked at me oddly and left.

I went back to sleep only to find myself being prodded when a awoke. It felt as if only seconds had past but the angle of the shadows had significantly altered.

An old doctor with a stethoscope in his hand was listening to my lungs. I assume he found no congestion. Then he looked at the burns and I felt a considerable amount of pain just then.

"Well young man. I see you are awake. You should feel lucky indeed to be alive."

"I feel many times more lucky than you would ever believe, although I have heard that deaths are only at ten to twenty percent."

"Where did you hear that son?"

"I read a great deal but at the moment the article escapes me. Lightning and electricity have always fascinated me."

I got a good-natured chuckle probably stemming from the age of the body I was now wearing. "Are you going to be an electrician?"

I had to do some thinking. The amount of time I had been conscious didn't allow me to do much in the way of planning. "I'll be and electrical engineer I think. I've a lot of ideas that can make money."

The doctor chuckled again. "Your face, chest, legs and back are burnt. Your mind though seems to be in good shape."

"So I go home for a week or so this Friday?"

After another chuckle he said, "We'll see." He wrote out his findings and any prescription I needed. He waved and smiled before he left.

I was able to stay awake for a bit longer and tried to think on what had happened to me. The first was that this was some kind of afterlife but that seemed improbable. Travelling backwards nearly fifty years in time sounded just as improbable though.

Mom came by that night with my two sisters. Maggie looked to be a bit concerned while Susan appeared put out that she had to come. I smiled at both of them; for to me they had been dead even longer than Mom had been.

They were at least civil here in public and I tried harder than I think I did before to be nice. Back at this age I was frightened out of my wits about what might happen to me when Susan got hold of me again.

I started a plan for the rest of my life. Not everything could be worked out without a lot more data. The threat of beatings or worse had to be dealt with or I would be able to do nothing. The fear had been my stumbling block at this age. My sisters petrified me and I was also reluctant to strike a girl or a lady. It took years to be ready, and only after developing my body then learning how to fight from books. The result turned out much better for me and I think my sisters too. I don't think I would live a few more years before I got to the same point this time.

The girls came on Thursday for my birthday. Mom came every day for an hour. I saw that she did love me but something just seemed to have been ripped from her life. When I asked for the newspaper, she looked at me very strangely but I had to learn a great many things about this time if I was going to live in it again.

I was right about Friday. I was assisted into a neighbour's car for the trip home. The Vachone's were a nice older couple. They spoke a poor English, being transplanted Québécois. The border with Quebec was very close so there were quite a few locals who spoke nothing but French. It had taken me a short time to learn the language but I didn't start until late. My business and the military assured that I learned more than what I got from friends in high school. Languages did come easy to me but that was only found out in later years when I had a chance to learn.

Mom got a lot of papers to sign while I had two nurses help me into the car. I had talked to them nicely and they seemed to respond to me. If I were thirty years younger or ten years older I would take either of them out. The sad fact is that this body had not entered puberty yet but would soon.

The old Ford pulled away and took us to the front of our rental home. I had tried to eradicate this memory from my mind when I had left so long ago. This house had been just a vile jail where I would be tortured until I was able to fight my way to freedom.

I hobbled as I left the car and Mom said, "What's the matter Jeff? You were walking better a few minutes ago."

"It's tiring. I think there are a few old hockey sticks in the garage. If you brought one I could show you where to cut and I could have a cane. It will only be for a few days but I will need it to get to the bathroom."

I got hustled into the house and sat on the old couch that now looked much older than in my memory.

"Would you like a drink, Honey?"

"No thanks Mom but I do need to go to the bathroom." She helped me and I worked to do this myself. I hurt a great deal having to bend as I did and I felt a bit of leakage as some of the blisters cracked and wept.

Mom helped me back to the couch and I made sure she had to work at assisting me. It was only a few minutes later that she brought me a selection of broken hockey sticks I had collected. I picked one and drew how to trim the broken blade and then stood to get the right length. Mom took the handsaw and was at this job for much longer than she should have been. She brought it back and I smiled and said, "Thanks Mom, you are the best Mom a kid could have." She gave me a much better smile than I had seen on her face or even remembered seeing from my youth.

We had an old TV that didn't work too well so I listened to the radio and read more of the newspaper. I must have fallen asleep for I heard the front door opening and my sisters coming in. I was covered with a blanket so it must have been put there by Mom.

I was thirsty now and got up with a lot of difficulty. I used my cane to get to the kitchen and got some tap water. Bottled water was a very scarce commodity. Maggie got me the glass and I said, "Thanks Maggie. You're the best." I got a smile from her and a glare from Susan.

When I stood in front of the two I was reminded of my short stature. I grew considerably but the growth spurts were very slow in coming. My psychosis developed over many years of abuse and was still with me even though I had tried a long time to rid myself of the problem. I shook in fear and all it took was one look at Susan.

Mom had made the meal and she was now ready to go out. She worked the weekends, under the table mostly and filled in for others that wanted the weekend off. She had a medical condition that caused her to faint at odd times. She was not supposed to drive either but she did. I had never been sure how much of the money she made was declared. We were on welfare which paid for my medical expenses, food and clothing. It also paid for Mom's smoking and drinking. I didn't begrudge her a few vices but I knew that they were both expensive and had lead to her death.

Looking now at her I could see some subtle differences. She was smiling more and preening. She looked more like a woman going out on a date than one going to work. A woman that she worked with picked her up and they drove off.

We ate our meal in quiet. My job was to collect all the plates and wash them but I was not able to do so because of my bandages and still open wounds. Susan was angry but helped Maggie do the dishes. I, at least, stacked what I could reach. Much later the girls went to their rooms and I took my cane and went to the garage. With the small vice, I was able to hold the stick as I used the saw and the file on it to get it the way it had to be. Some white cloth tape went around the grip and just a bit at the other end.

Before I left, I looked at the rest of the tools. All of them were my dad's and old. They still worked though. My bike with the large carrier was leaning against the wall. I used to have a paper route but I guess that it would have been taken away by now. I may not even be able to handle it after a month but I did need some money. Some was hidden in my room but this made me wonder how much.

I went back into the house and walked through it to become reacquainted with it. So many things were not as I remembered but some were as clear as if I saw them yesterday. I went into the basement that had so many unpleasant memories.

To one side was the wringer washing machine and the hose that shot out the dirty water was where I expected it to be. The furnace was an old octopus that had been converted over to oil from wood.

The hot water tank was large and a rental. Some clotheslines were up with some of the girl's clothing hung from it. On a wall were some old boards supporting some preserves. This saved us a bit of money and at least here all of us had to work on the project.

The back wall was the most frightening to me. I walked over to it and looked at the lock on the door. This was a small room about ten by twelve. Dad had made it for his exercise room. A fan could vent the air outside and so the interior walls went all the way to the ceiling effectively sealing the room. Sound came out but it was difficult. Old carpet I knew covered the inside and the floor. The clips to hold the punching or the speed bag were still there along with more clips. I had been hung from some of those eyes more than once as I was whipped or abused sexually. It was only a few months ago that this clear memory told me that the girls had used a dildo on me. I could easily remember that all of them seemed to love doing this to me. I could not see into the room but I did look at the lock.

It was a cheap variety. Both sides of the key were the same with cuts going right to the central spine. These cuts lined up with wards in the lock. I had found out that if a similar key was ground to remove all of the metal except the end it would fit the lock and turn it. There were only three types. One 'S' went one way while another went the other and the last was flat. To get in, all I had to do was find one of the three varieties and sizes. One of my memories said that the lock on the trunk was similar.

I collected some dry underwear that was mine and tried to make it up the steps. It was good that I had, for I found Susan at the top staring suspiciously at me. "You should have told us you wanted to start the laundry."

This was frightening. She lashed out at the least reason and I was not prepared to stand up to her in my present condition. I kept my eyes down and said, "I will as soon as I can. Some of the blisters are open and will take a while to heal."

I looked to her face and I could see that she was angry. She said, "You better heal fast little brother."

Climbing from the basement winded me. I waited to catch my breath and read the last of the newspaper before putting it where it should go. Things didn't get thrown out as they did in later years. My own bedroom was very small as I remembered it but it was not as neat as I thought it should be. I thought of myself as very orderly and it seemed as if this was neat by one set of memories but not the one I was used to.

After using the facilities, I found the pyjamas I used to wear and put them on. Sleep was a long time coming and I looked within to see if the younger me was still here or perhaps transferred to my other body. The thoughts of sharing had not been decided.

My thoughts on the time stream were formed by my very unique experience. I was changing the one and only time line by simply being here and doing things differently than I had done before. What I wanted to do would change it even more.

I got up late and did my ablutions, dressing in the same clothing that I had worn yesterday. There were not that many sets of duds and somebody would surely question me for being what they thought of as foolish.

While passing my sister's room I noticed that they had probably left the house. Mom would not be home until late if she arrived even then. I warmed up some of yesterday's supper in the skillet; for the microwave had not reached even a fraction of the world. It was much too large and power hungry. I needed more calories than what cereal would give me.

A knock came to the door and I got up to answer it. When I opened it, I saw a pretty girl I had known very well in my past but it had been years from now. She was a small girl that stayed small in later life. When fully grown she only reached four foot eight. She was very passionate but suffered from an inferiority complex. She kept her face down and looked to be ready to run at the least sign of a threat. She was a brunette with a nicely shaped face and a personality that as so sweet that it could give a person diabetes.

Paige Newfield was a year and a few months older than me. She was above average mentally and has such nice breasts. I remember many long hours playing with them to both of our pleasures. I may not have active testicles but I did have the shadow of what I should feel like.

"Hello Paige. Come in." I said this nicely but it was an order. I knew that she preferred this. I shifted to one side and pointed to a chair.

"Hello Jeff. I heard that you were hurt. I came over to — "

"Thank you. I like you too and would like to see you happy." This caused her face to change quickly. I closed the door and added, "Would you like some tea? I am sorry though that you will have to make it for us."

I got a sweet smile. "Yes Jeff, I would love some."

With a few directions, she found what was required and in the course of things followed my other directions as if I was controlling a robot. This I knew gave her structure and though it was demeaning to others, it was not to her. I watched her intently to make sure this attribute was well taken, as it would be in later life. We had been lovers for a long time though I was always sharing myself with others. She knew this and was able to deal with the consequences. This was not quite a girlfriend/boyfriend arrangement.

With Paige's way of dealing with reality in mind I began to question her. She was submissive and I wanted her to accept this role sooner than she had before. I of course would be the dominant. The people of the neighbourhood were discussed. Her friends and family were discussed in intimate detail. This made her squirm but she told me what I thought was the truth. This I hoped would put me in a position of being kind to her but still the dominant she needed.

She was in grade eight with me. I had skipped grade three. Very old memories came to me and I quizzed her about some of our teachers and some of the more flamboyant students at school. Because of the missed days, she promised to bring her textbooks and notes over to study.

Paige seemed to adjust well to my questions and I wanted to deepen the link. My sisters were usually gone for the day and I didn't want them to find Paige with me. In a normal household this was fine but here it would be used against me.

We drank our tea at the table while we talked. There was more than enough conversation for a few cups. When we ran out of talk I said, "Come to the front room Paige." She smiled and got up with no apparent hesitation. The cane was not really needed but I used it anyway.

I sat at the edge of the easychair and then painfully sat on the floor with the chair at my back. When I settled I put my cane to one side and looked up at Paige. She was waiting for more direction. I pointed to the area of the floor beside my leg and said, "Sit here Paige. There is more to discuss."

She did sit even if it was a bit awkwardly. "Lay down now. Put your head on my thigh so I can look into your beautiful eyes." There was only a bit of a hesitation but she did what I wanted. My right hand went out to move some hair that was over her face now and moved it aside. The hand never left though and I caressed her face and head like a favoured dog. She smiled and closed her eyes. Sometimes I had heard her purr like a cat and maybe I could get her to do it this time too.

"You are a beautiful girl, Paige." Her eyes opened for a moment but I just continued to stroke her head. "We go together very well I think. I need help in some of the things I will do. This is not just for a few weeks but for a much longer time. I will make, what I hope to be, a lot of money and you will share it with me. You are very bright and I know that you like to be guided once in a while. I will do that for you."

She started to move as if she would start to object. Perhaps her submissive personality had not made it to her consciousness yet. It was like dying slowly. There were a lot of stages that had to be gone through until the inevitability was seen and accepted. "Shhhhh, I know what's best for you."

She settled down but now her eyes were open. "We were friends before and we will be even better friends now." She then seemed to close her eyes in acceptance.

"As you can guess, I have changed after being hit by the lightning. The old me was not very structured and not focussed on what he wanted in life. Now I am beginning to plan out the rest of my life and I want you in it."

Paige's eyes flashed open. "But — "

I interrupted her and said, "There is no buts my little sweet. You are mine now whether you know it or not. I will be the one taking care of you eventually. We just have to wait a while for me to bring my ideas together. Now tell me what you think."

"Jeff, I am only thirteen. I can't do many things."

I rubbed her shoulder now and said, "I just turned twelve myself. I do know what's right. You just have to learn some things and then you can do them. You can learn to keep books. You will be managing some of our money. Some women now work in the marketplace or at home. You will do both. As you learn more, you will be given new duties. You are much too precious to waste."

"You want to keep me forever?"

"You will be mine forever." Her eyes were very large now and I added, "You will be my first but not my only." I could see that she would start to object now. "It has to be this way. I need help to get where I need to go. Others need help even if they don't think they need it. You will understand as time goes on. You will be safe and cared for. You have a place now that you were always looking for though you may not have known it until now."

It took a few moments but she said, "Will I be your girlfriend?"

"You will be my first girlfriend but you will actually be much more than what this simple term signifies." Her eyes widened now and I gave her time to digest what she had been told.

She whispered, "Like a — daddy?"

I knew she meant husband. I was sure that if I had not entered the military that I would have married her. Having children would have been inevitable. My plans for the future would and should be formed with this in mind. I whispered the same way she asked, "Yes my love. At least twice."

Her eyes closed now and she snuggled to get a better contact with my leg and her arm came up to my waist. I didn't think she was thinking of sex now but of commitment and motherhood. I was too damaged and sore to do anything anyway. Taking advantage of her now didn't feel right even if I could. It was much better to allow her to take her time and digest the facts then come to me.

For the next half hour I told her about my present situation with regards to Susan. I explained that until Susan was brought to heel, that the girl on my leg would be in danger.

Paige was very reluctant but told me that Susan had already been after her. With a bit more prodding I found that they had engaged in sex on a few occasions. This information could destroy her if it got out but she trusted me with it.

"You are mine now. That is all that counts. I see nothing wrong with girls having some fun. You did what you were forced to do. If you are forced to do this again you will remember that it will not change the way I feel about you. We are in a dangerous situation and it has to be fixed."

My leg was sore so I got Paige to sit up and face me. "Honey, my face is scarred but most of it will go but some operations may be necessary. I am still a boy now. I will start to change but not soon. Hair will grow between my legs, under my arms, and a lot on my chest and face. I will also be able to make children when that happens but not now.

"You are very important to me. To keep you safe you have to stay away if my sisters are here. Do you understand me?"

She nodded her head for she must feel sad. With a hand under her jaw, I picked up her face and said seriously, "Give me your answer verbally. I do not want your mind to be ambiguous in this matter."

"What does ambiguous mean — Jeff?"

She at one time called me master but she tried to say that this was just role-playing. Jeff was just as good to me although I knew she liked the other better. "It means that there will not be a double meaning."

We got up to use the washroom and when we came back we sat beside each other on the couch. I kissed her now like she belonged to me. In a while I held her breast in my hand but this too was to show ownership and hopefully some shared closeness.

Paige leaned into me as if her bones had been removed. I didn't go too far in this and just tried to show her tactually that she was mine and I cared a great deal for her. She got some enjoyment from this too and I wanted it to reinforce what I had told her earlier.

I asked her to leave telling her it was because of the danger. She did come back in a few minutes with two weeks supply of the Toronto paper her father used. It went in my room and I kissed her again before leaving.

There was now some time with introspection though a bit late. I had taken a thirteen-year-old impressionable girl and told her that she would bear some of my children, I said that she would be with me for the rest of her life. I was not trying to find justification but I did list all the factors.

Paige had a poor marriage after I left for the Air Force. She had moved when her husband found a better job elsewhere. She had children but was never very happy. I had found out about her but didn't intrude or put pressure on her marriage. When the husband died just a few years ago, Paige became devoted to her grandchildren. Our love had changed over the years as we ourselves changed.

Now I had the wife I had originally wanted and I was not ready to deal with it on any level.

I started to read the newspapers and did small exercises. The sisters were not home yet so I went down into the basement and searched through some cans of old nails, screws and the occasional key. It was the garage that did have the one I wanted, and it fit into the lock but didn't work.

The edge of a file took out the bronze and I walked back to the basement two times until the lock popped open. With the possibility of Susan catching me I hurried to the trunk and found that I was right and the key opened this lock too. I saw whips, ropes, masks, knives and other things to frighten or use on a captive. Photos were also in there but in four envelopes. I knew what were on many but I put everything back the way it was and left.

I began supper even though I couldn't do too much. Maggie and Susan came home thirty minutes later. Maggie smiled at me and for what I had done. Susan just ignored me and gave orders for what she wanted done to Maggie and assigned a few of the easier tasks to me.

The two girls talked to each other and ignored me. I did what I could after the meal and they did the rest.

We separated again and I started to work on my plans. The inventions I made were reviewed along with all the other simple things that had come out since. Most relied on transistors but some were mechanical. The patent process was costly but easy because of what I knew. It was finding a manufacturing concern to manufacture the article for me or find a retail outlet that would do all this by themselves.

Canada did make some electrical devices and even one brand of television. These companies would mostly go when cheap imports killed them. I could get things made but they had to believe in the product's ability to sell or I had to pay for it and they would not care.

There were literally hundreds if not thousands of devices that could be patented but had no direct market like bistable components for computers. This was because computers were not used at home and there was little chance of building the chips themselves because of the complexity.

I had no remorse against using patents that were not mine. I would find them years earlier than the original inventors in that old timeline. There was no justification for how they could have felt, for they would have done nothing towards obtaining a patent. One time line meant that they just had to find something different to make if they could.

The physics behind lasers was being worked on now and though not strictly electronic was interesting enough to make. One had even been presented in the back of 'Scientific American'. It had been set up in my shop among the televisions, radios, and test equipment I was working on.

The projects were not that expensive at the time but I had more money then and access to other things that had been invented. It would be much more difficult now.

The simple smoke alarm and carbon monoxide alarm could be done soon. The RIA was invented in 1959 and used to test small samples of blood for a variety of problems. The anagram was formed from radioimmunoassay. I had worked on them for some local hospitals and knew them fairly well.

Chapter 3 »