Chapter 80

Thank God there was no translation needed when we made it to the kitchen. I could tell from their smiles Kamakeata and Tolishanea were glad to see me. The big cup of coffee which appeared right away was another hint and the plate of bacon and eggs that followed it sealed the deal for me.

"Good mornin massa," they said, and did it in the Shelly and Shelia unison so perfectly it made me laugh.

"Good morning my black beauties. You two are making my day already."

"You'd think yo day was made better if you'd slip back to our room with us again," Tolishanea said.

"No, I'd think my day was about to be spent and I'd be right."

"He's right this time and he's already had enough fun for at least an hour or two," Mom said, surprising me a little since I didn't know she was so close on my tail.

"The work of the wicked is never done though. Our little Jimmy wonder has a mighty job of truck driving to get started on today," Jackie said, but the way she could sneak around never surprised me anymore.

"Some police man called just a few minutes ago Sharon, and they said they's bringing out a car of FBI men," Tolishanea said.

"Good. I was expecting them." Mom said.

"I'm glad to hear you were," I said.

"Your truck trip is to Houston and they're bringing some paperwork, just in case."

"Just in case what?"

"Just in case some local yokel, I think that's what Bill said they were called, tried to give you any grief during the trip. You do remember you're still only fourteen don't you?"

"How could I forget?"

"The papers they're bringing say you're on Federal business and they include BAF papers with your signed authority to carry automatic weapons along with some other government documents to keep them busy for a while."

"Ok, I give. I don't understand, but I'll just sit quietly and eat until you explain," I said.

"The Governors of Georgia, Alabama, Louisiana, and Texas have already been informed and supposedly they've made sure all state police officers in their states are aware you're not to be molested. There is still a possibility some local policeman's wife might have been on the rag last night and the officer might be looking for a squabble to assuage his temper.

"If he or in the rare case she tries to cause trouble Jackie will instruct them to read the Shoot to Kill authority. No doubt she'll be pointing one of said automatic weapons at the officer while she is so instructing.

"There's also some type of National Security announcement in the package somewhere," Mom said, and even she would have admitted she was throwing her weight around a little if I pressed her.

"In other words, speeding tickets are not going to be a problem."

"No, but I'm sure Jackie will do her best to keep from shooting anyone. No one important anyway," Mom said.

"What the hell, things were getting a little stagnant around here anyway."

"Indeed. At least you won't have to worry about construction for a while, and Chucky baby has assured me your firing range will be ready when you make it back."

"Good, then I can have a place to make some joyful noise around here soon."

"Indeed. It kept bothering me because you didn't have a place to try out your Barrett after you were so intent in have one."

"Well, I might have gotten carried away when the clerk started trying to start trouble," I said, admitting it.

"No matter, I have it on good authority the clerk is doing fine in his new job."

"Oh? Where's that?"

"McDonalds. He hasn't worked his way up to cashier yet, but I hear he's very good at policing the parking lot."

Maybe I should have felt like a big shot or something over the deal, I did come out on top I guess, but now it just seemed like I'd been an asshole for ruining the guy's job on a whim. Oh well, I'd try to be more normal next time. After all, the only thing worse than a dyed in the wool shitass was a rich shitass.

The door went off just then and Mom went to answer it while Jackie went to stand by Jerrilyn, Sherilyn, and Gigi who were standing in a little group at the base of the stairs. Even I could tell they were all carrying and must be intending to make sure nothing was going to go wrong. Things looked like they might get exciting when all of them drew their sidearms as Mom answered the door.

"Can I help you?" Mom asked, as she opened the door.

"We've come to deliver some official documents to James Breslin," a man in a suit said.

"Jimmy, it's for you," Mom said, so I pushed back from the table and header her way.

Maybe the guy didn't like my jeans and work shirt, or maybe it was my cowboy hat, but I could tell something was poling something up his ass right away.

"I'm James Breslin. How can I help you?"

"There must be some mistake. This can't be right," he said, to a near clone standing beside him.

"Well, no harm done," Mom said, and closed the door in their faces.

She nearly laughed, but held it in and started calling someone on her cell phone. In a few seconds there was an even louder knock on the door. I started to open it, but Mom signaled me to get out of the way and she gave Jackie a sign of some kind too.

Jackie and the others opened the entry closet door and started picking up long guns from inside it. They looked like M4s to me, but I couldn't be sure.

Meanwhile another knock came on the door and it was pretty much a minor battering this time. I wondered what was going on and started to ask Mom, but someone must have answered her call just then.

"Malto," was all Mom said, at first.

"The FBI sent a couple of idiots out here with the papers and they are annoying me. Get this straightened out at once," Mom said, and then closed her phone.

"Open the door again Jimmy, but step out of the line of fire when you do," Mom said, and I noticed she made sure she wouldn't be in the way either.

I twisted the knob and at that moment the guy outside must have been putting his shoulder to the door because he came flying in as the door slammed back against the stop. His buddy was standing behind him with a pistol in his hand, but it didn't bother Jackie and her pals a bit.

"Drop it fast or die," she said.

She didn't yell or anything, but when all four of them racked back the bolts on the weapons they had pointed at the FBI man, he dropped his weapon fast, just like she told him. Then it was almost comical when the one who'd fallen in tried to get up.

Jackie put a combat boot down on the back of his neck and then jabbed him between the shoulder blades with her rifle's muzzle.

"Hands behind your back and keep still. If you need to pray you'd better do it quietly," she told him.

"That probably won't be necessary Jackie. Just cuff them and we'll hold them until the authorities get here. You'd better check and see if they are the only intruders," Mom said.

"Ma'am, we are the authorities," the one on the floor said, but Mom stopped Jackie before she butt-stroked him.

"Oh, if that's the case you'd probably better show me your no-knock warrant then. If your papers are in order I'm sure Jack can straighten things out as soon as he gets here. The police may not even have to take you in."

"Jack who?" the guy said, and by now even Mom was tired of his tone.

"Jack Breslin, my husband, the lawyer who sent for the papers you were too stupid to deliver when you had the chance you officious little asshole. Senator Malto told me the Bureau had gone to shit lately, but I didn't believe him until I saw who they sent out to deliver the documents.