Chapter 7: Confession and Catharsis

We finished the food and after I took the plates and utensils in I refilled our wine glasses and asked her if she'd like to take a tour. We walked around the property and I talked about how I had decided where I wanted to live and why. She seemed to understand and I guess we had both calmed down from the frontal attack I had mounted against her. I think she now understood some of my pain and maybe, for me, it was something of a release to have her here and be able to confront her with my emotions. But it really didn't solve anything.

I meant it when I told her I still loved her and just saying the words caused me pain and pushed the anger once again to the surface. I promised myself I wouldn't let that happen again if I could avoid it, but I wasn't sure I could keep that promise.

I set up the barbeque on the deck and I cooked a small steak for each of us. I wasn't eating much these days and I was able to keep my weight down thanks to that and a reasonable amount of exercise. Joyce must have noticed because she said something about my looking healthy in spite of myself. I spent a lot of my time outdoors largely because I think I was becoming claustrophobic; particularly in the winter rainy season. My face had a permanent tan and I imagine that fooled people into thinking I was the picture of fitness.

After dinner we sat on the deck until sundown and the mosquitoes began to arrive. Joyce had brought her travel bag inside earlier and she was set up in the second bedroom after she put on some clean sheets and a pillow case. We had consumed a bottle of French red wine at and after dinner and I offered her a brandy and we sat in a couple of big old chairs by the fireplace.

In the past several hours, Joyce had opened up about her time after the divorce and I could tell it was painful. She had made a mistake she couldn't undo and had fallen into depression. She saw a psychiatrist for several months to get her life back in some kind of order and it seemed to help. She had quit her job and had been working swing shift at a local long-term care hospital. It didn't pay much, but, like me, she had no social life and so her needs were minimal.

When Kirsten called her and told her about the day care centre idea, she thought it was so right for her that she offered to invest what money she had with our daughter to get the business going. She moved to Calgary a year ago in September and had rediscovered herself. If the Swami had done anything right, he had identified that she didn't belong in the insurance business; she was a mother and a nurturer and she was perfect in the day care role.

Their business took off and due to a shortage of manpower in Alberta and a ballooning population, they had already applied for a grant to expand the existing unit in South West Calgary and to build a new one in the North Central area. The grant was awarded and they had a contractor ready to go in the next couple of months, as soon as he was finished another job. I was surprised and impressed at how well she had done considering it was an almost spur of the moment decision to get into this business with Kirsten.

Joyce gave all the credit to Kirsten. She was the brains and go-power of the operation and she was the one who proposed the expansion and then the second location and she was the one who filled out the grant application and made the submission to the appropriate people. I was surprised at that even more, considering the last thing I'd heard about her was that she was in some commune in the Kootenays. It just goes to show you never know about your kids.

Rick was living in Edmonton currently. His wife, Beverly, had tired of the vagabond life they led as he wandered from project to project in Eastern Europe. She wanted to come home or at least back to North America and when a job came open with Interprovincial Pipelines, he took it. They now had a nice home in the south west part of town and apparently there was little likelihood that he would have to move in the near future.