Chapter 9

Lee didn't end up picking me up until well after four in the afternoon.

After Jason fucked me I relaxed for a while before dressing back in my overalls and turtleneck shirt since I knew that I had to finish my chores. Part of me wanted to try and regain the brief spurt of confidence I'd felt after Jason had fucked me the first time and demand he do my chores for me. That feeling, of being in charge, was completely out of my system now, though, and couldn't be regained. Those brief few minutes had been fun but feeling dominated by him was even more enjoyable. And miserable, and helpless, and sad. But most of all it felt normal, like an old blanket that probably needed to be replaced but was so familiar I just couldn't bare to let it go.

When I got downstairs he was playing a video-game. I crept by him without a word but glanced over to see him giving me a smug look as he eyed me in my work-clothes again. I shuddered and went outside, determined to work hard and fast and not think about him. I was going to see Lee as soon as I finished my chores. That's all I wanted to think about. The problem was that as I shoveled dog shit into the wheelbarrow my ass cried in pain from the effort. Jason had really beaten my butt black-and-blue and it was a reminder of what my brother had done to me. I wondered how I was going to explain that to Lee.

Cleaning the kennel was the hardest chore I had to do, thankfully, and after getting the dogs back inside it and turning on the heat for them the rest of my work sort of flew by. I mowed the lawn, did the dishes, and vacuumed in a daze. I got so lost in my chores that I completely forgot that I was supposed to call Lee to arrange getting picked up. My mind was too preoccupied with getting my work done and mulling over what Jason was to me now: brother, master, or lover? It didn't help that while I did my inside work he kept giving me that smug look whenever we crossed paths. Trying not to think about him made me think of little else so when I finally got to my phone I panicked when I saw that I'd missed three calls from Lee. I dialed him quickly, terrified that he might think I had blown him off.

"No problem, girl," he said after I apologized. It was 2:30 in the afternoon and he answered on the second ring. "All good. When should I head over?"

Relieved beyond measure, I told him to meet me at the Silver Star Liquor store at four and he promised he'd be there. After that I showered again to get the work-stink off of me. When I finished I took a lot of time to get my hair right, which was sort of an overkill since I always wore my hair in the same simple style anyway. It took me awhile to get it just so, though, before I lamented over a real problem: what to wear.

I really wanted to dress sexy for Lee but part of me hesitated. Jason thought I was going over to a friend's house and he might have some awkward questions for me if I wore the short black dress I'd been wanting to wear. I was also afraid that if I looked too sexy he might decide to fuck me again and then I'd miss Lee at the liquor store. I finally decided it was safer to just wear a pale yellow blouse and simple denim jeans that were a little loose on my thin, pubescent legs. I looked cute and pretty, I decided after adding a hair clip that held back the hair on my left side, something I only did when I wanted to look older. Lee would definitely like what he saw and Jason wouldn't suspect that underneath my outfit I was wearing the sexist bra and panties I owned.

Before leaving I made sure to hide my Book of Sins in a safe place. I suspected that Jason might end up searching my room after I was gone. Even if, as I suspected of all my brothers, he'd done so before he'd definitely want to do a very thorough search now. I made sure to hide both the book and the other incriminating things I owned: a couple of dirty magazines, the old photo I'd taken of myself after I first had sex with the dogs, and a picture Daniel had given me of his penis a week or so earlier. I hid them in my closet underneath a section of the carpet that pulled up from the floor, in the corner, where I was positive no one would ever think to look.

Jason had one last thing to say to me before I walked out the door. "Hey, sis," he called.

Nervous as hell, I walked over to him wearing my blue jacket, my purse over one shoulder. "Yes?" I asked meekly.

"Remember the rules," he said without looking at me. "And be home by midnight."

"Okay," I said. When he didn't anything else I finally escaped the house.

I got to the liquor store early and as I waited I couldn't stop thinking about Jason. Why had the sex been so great? Sure, he lasted long and had a good sized cock, but it was more than just that. It was the fact he was my brother, I knew deep down. My flesh and blood, born to the same woman as me who had been impregnated by the same man. My biological brother and my biggest enemy in my house since as long as I could remember. Memories of him pulling on my ponytails when I was very little and tickling me merciless on my birthdays flooded my head. Those thoughts were so nasty and perverted that my depraved 13-year-old brain just loved it. I felt ashamed but also aroused. I found myself wondering how often he would end up fucking me, if he would fuck me that night, and if he'd be the only brother of mine I would ever have sex with. That last thought made me shudder. Images of Tyler and even Ron swam through my hormone-addled brain and it wasn't until Lee pulled up in his gigantic boat of a car that I finally stopped thinking about all of that.

We talked casually during the ride into the city. Lee did most of the talking, telling me about some party that was going on that night and some semi-famous hip-hop artist who was supposed to be there. It sounded like a lot of fun and I agreed to go, but I told him I had to be home no later than midnight. If that bothered him it didn't show. He just promised I'd be home in time and passed me a joint he'd lit up.

When we got to his house, which was only a few doors down and across the street from Ty's, I was pretty stoned. Lee said we could watch movies or play video games while we waited for the party, but I planned on getting down to business as soon as possible. Being stoned made me horny and during the drive I'd stared blatantly at the outline of his massive cock pretty much the whole way.

I was surprised when we entered the small house and saw an attractive young black woman lounging on a sofa in front of a television set. She had fine, angular African features with skin as dark as Lee's. For a moment I wondered if she was Lee's wife or girlfriend but that notion was quickly dispelled when he said, "Hey, sis, meet Becky."

Her pretty but tired looking eyes broke away from the TV and settled on me. She yawned after glancing at me from top to bottom and then said, "It ain't no lie you're a young one. It true Maurice pumped ya?"

I glanced over at Lee with a questioning look. He said, "Came inside you."

"Oh!" I said, blushing. I nodded my head then studied my white sneakers with their pink laces.

Lee's sister laughed in a friendly way. She said, "I hope you're on the pill then, girl. Maurice is one fertile fucking nigga. Come on, have a seat. I just started 'The Shining'. Ever see it?"

I hadn't, seeing as I wasn't allowed to watch R-rated movies. But I did take a seat on the couch with Lee's sister, who formally introduced herself as Shyreen. She seemed friendly enough and as Lee went into the kitchen to get some beers she asked me what I did, why I'd been in the city the other night, and why I'd joined the gang. It was a lot to explain, especially while stoned, but I did my best and she took even the most shocking information in stride. When Lee returned he gave each of us a beer and I gulped at mine without preamble, my mouth dry and cotton-like and desperate for any kind of liquid.

"So, uhm, what do you do?" I asked Shyreen after a moment of silence.

Lee answered for her. "She smokes my weed and spends my money," he said in his deep drawl of a voice. He was lighting up a water bong and after taking a hit I could see that he was smiling.

"Pretty much," Shyreen said, stretching out her soft but attractive body. She was smiling, too.

The three of us spent the next hour and a half smoking pot, drinking some beer, and chit-chatting. Shyreen liked to talk and her soft, sexy voice was fun to listen to. She told me embarrassing stories about Lee that made me smile and explained how he'd been taking care of her since she was only twelve. She also explained how she was an inactive member of the gang and how Lee had given her loaded dice to roll for her initiation.

"When they came up snake eyes them niggas was pissed!" she laughed. "Half them assholes had been tryin' to get with this since I was your age but were too afraid of Lee to try."

I smiled warmly at Lee. I liked the idea of him being a protective older brother.

Just after six, with the sun setting outside and the movie having been fully ignored by all of us, Shyreen stood and said, "Guess ya'll want time alone. I's gonna go on over to Lendy's for that party."

"We'll see you," Lee told her. He had his arm around me and it felt good to snuggle against him. I couldn't wait for Shyreen to be gone so we could get more intimate.

She paused at Lee's words. "Wait, ya'll going?" she said, looking at me. "Dressed like that?"

Confused, I stared down at my yellow blouse then back at her.

Shyreen laughed. "Girl, you're already gonna be the only child and the only whitey there, why're you gonna go and want to stand out lookin' like a square, too?"

"She looks right to me," Lee said, hugging me closer to his large body.

His sister rolled her eyes, placed a hand on one hip, and seemed to think. She said, "Charlene's left a bunch of outfits upstairs, hon. Come on, let's get you fixed up."

Still feeling unsure and confused I nevertheless stood, grabbed my purse, and gave Lee a pensive look before following his sister to the second floor of the small house. She brought me to what was unquestionably her bedroom and made small talk about how Lee was sweet but clueless when it came to fashion. "If I didn't do his shopping for him he'd look as square as you," she said, handing me a pile of clothes. "Hate to sound all rude but that suburban GAP store shit'll make you a laughing stock at Lendy's party. Here, try this."

If I hadn't been stoned I would have felt uncomfortable to change in front of a stranger, but not only was I high but I was anxious. Anxious to look good and to fit in at the upcoming party. Without a word I pulled off my blouse and kicked off my sneakers. Only after my jeans were off did I realize Shyreen was staring at me. My whole body blushed for a moment and I suddenly felt naked.

"Nice," she grinned at me. "Least you got the underwear right. Your daddy know you buy lingerie like that?"

I shook my head as I pulled on the micro skirt she'd given me. It was bright red in color and barely covered the panties she was referring to but they seemed to fit okay. A thick plastic belt, which made up about a third of the garment, helped hold it in place. After studying it for a second I said, "Uhm, no, that guy, Daniel? He bought me all my underwear while I was ... you know..."

"His slave?" she grinned. "Thought you said he didn't let ya wear panties."

"Sometimes, to pose for him," I blushed. I was pulling on the skirt's matching top, a sleeveless almost bikini-esq garment made of the same glistening nylon material as the skirt. I felt silly after it was on. I studied myself in Shyreen's mirror and thought I looked like I was getting ready to go swimming.

Women actually wore outfits like this in public? I wondered. Ty's neice, Charlene, was my age and this outfit was hers, so I guessed they had to. Still, it felt more like a costume than anything else. It left little to the imagination, exposing my flat tummy, bare arms, and ample cleavage. I shuddered at the prospect of wearing it outside because such clothes would provide absolutely no warmth. I looked at her while biting my lip and almost asked her if I could try on something else.

"Lookin' fine, now, girl," Shyreen said, adjusting my top a little so that it covered my bra. She was so obviously pleased with my appearance that I decided to trust her judgment. "Let's get ya some shoes..."

Ten minutes later I walked down the stairs behind Shyreen on two-inch heeled shoes that matched the color of the skirt and top. Not only was I unused to heels but the shoes themselves were a half size too big for my feet and I kept almost falling over. I was nervous as hell but my mood immediately changed when I saw the expression on Lee's face.

"Damn, damn, damn," he said, nothing but lust in his stoned eyes. "Come 'ere, girl, let me get a good look at you..."

I walked toward him, concentrating hard not to wobble in my new shoes, and stood in front of him with a shy smile on my lips. He put his hands on my slender hips and turned me around. I felt his large hand gently rub my tight round butt and shuddered at the sensation. Shyreen was watching all this with an amused expression on her exotic face. She said, "See, Becky? He gettin' hard just lookin' at you."

Her words embarrassed me a little but it was true. When he turned me around again I stared down and saw a definite hardening of his member inside his loose jeans. "Ready to see it?" he said to me, his voice as casual as if asking if I wanted a soda.

"It's never gonna fit in her," I heard Shyreen say. Through the stoned haze I was in the thought occurred to me: how would she, his sister, know anything about the size of his penis?

In a daze I got on my knees, letting Lee gently guide me into a kneeling position. He said, "We'll work it, won't we, girl?"

Without another word he unzipped his pants, right in front of me and his sister, and took out his semi-hard cock as if it was no big deal. I wasn't thinking about his sister anymore or the obscene outfit I was wearing. The sight of his large cock pushed all other thoughts out of my mind. It wasn't quite as big as I'd imagined it to be when I'd felt it through his jeans a few nights earlier, but it was massive. Easily the largest cock I'd ever seen it rivaled the cucumber I'd once fucked myself with in girth. It had to be at least a foot long, too, probably closer to fourteen inches. Though he was a big, thick man the cock looked almost comically large on his frame. I looked up at him in wonderment, not sure what I should do. I'd never seen such a large cock in real life, after all.

Shyreen ended up breaking the silence. With a little laugh she said, "You sure don't look like the pro-slut ev'one's been talkin' about! Why you scared?'

Lee was just staring at me with a lazy smile on his block-like face. I decided he was just waiting for me to do what came natural, so without another thought I gently reached out and took his half-erect penis in my hands. The touch of his dark black monster sent chills throughout my stoned body. Almost instantly it began to harden and I watched in wonderment as it grew and grew. I stroked it in short, nervous gestures, my right hand near its base and my left near its head. While I did this I realized that Shyreen was probably right: there was no way it'd ever fit into me.

"Lick it," the woman said. She had moved over to the couch and was now sitting next to her brother. With a racing heart I glanced up at her, saw the slight, almost taunting smile on her attractive face, and gave her a nod. I leaned forward with my lips parted and stuck out my tongue.

Just as I tasted his cock for the first time all hell broke loose.

From outside car alarms went off and horns blared. Shyreen jumped from the couch and ran over to the window, parted the drapes, and cursed. Lee, meanwhile, pushed me aside and jumped to his feet and roughly pushed his impossibly large member back into his loose fitting pants. In total confusion I stared, breathless, as he joined his sister at the window.

"Five-oh," he said in his usual deep, emotionless voice. "Flush the shit. Now."

"Fuck!" Shyreen cursed but she rushed back to the coffee table where a small bag of weed, the ashtray, and the water bong sat. She grabbed them all while looking at me. In a hurried, almost angry voice she said, "What're you doin'? Get the fuck out, get the fuck out!"

"What ... what?" I asked, starting to stand.

Lee came to me in long, sure steps. The blaring noise from outside was getting louder as more and more car horns and alarms joined the initial chorus. "She's right, you gots to get out, now," he said, an undercurrent of urgency in his thick voice. He grabbed me by my upper arm and hauled me to my feet and started heading to the back of the house. "Find a place to hide then wait a couple hours. Someone'll be here to bring you home..."

"Wait, what?" I stammered. He was practically dragging me to the backdoor of the small house and I had no idea what was going on. "Hide? Why? Where?"

"Just find a fuckin' place to hide out!" he said. It was the first time he'd ever sounded angry at me and it sort of stung. "Cops are raidin', might be nothin' but if they bust up in here and find you, shit..."

We were at the back door and I heard the toilet flushing. Shyreen was getting rid of the pot, I realized. Scared shitless I said, "They're coming for you?"

He pulled open the door, glanced around, and said, "Maybe, maybe Ty, maybe both..."

Shyreen appeared with my blue jacket. She looked angry but also scared. Less than a minute had passed since I'd tasted Lee's dick and my head was spinning. She thrust my jacket at me and said, "Go, go on! Get!"

Lee sort of pushed, sort of guided me out the door. He was about to shut it when he noticed the expression of confusion and terror on my face. With a quick sigh he said, "Look, baby girl, the cops are 'bout to be all up in here. They find you with me? Shit, we'll both to jail, dig? So just find a place to hide. Wait a couple hours. Stay low, an' don't come back if you see the poe-lease up in here. Wait it out ... I'll make sure someone's here if I can, to take you home..."

"But, but," I stammered. Suddenly there was a loud pounding sound coming from the front door of the house, a sound that broke through the blaring horns and car alarms and matched a voice screaming, "POLICE, OPEN UP!"

"Run, fuckin' get out of here!" he said, a level of desperation in his voice. "You get picked up, don't say shit! Say you was sellin' cookies or some shit! Go!"

"Tell 'em nothing!" Shyreen agreed. "No snitchin', no snitchin'!"

The door slammed shut and I was alone.

On automatic pilot now I stumbled away from the house. In the darkness the lights of police sirens twirled around from the front street as I headed across the incredibly short backyard to a chain link fence. I fell over and realized I couldn't run wearing the two-inch heeled shoes. I pulled them off. Holding them in my left hand and my jacket in my right I somehow made it to the fence, barefoot, just before loud voices and the thumping of boots rang through my ears. I looked over my shoulder and saw two men in black body-armor with the large white letters "S.W.A.T." stenciled on their backs. Panicked and desperate I slipped through a hole in the fence, into another house's yard, and ran barefoot across it on the cold hibernating grass.

I ran down a narrow alley separating that house from another and onto another residential street much like the one Lee's house was on. Feeling pursued even though I wasn't I ran diagonally across the street, between two parked cars that looked like they belonged in a garbage dump, and across a cracked and broken sidewalk. Behind me the sounds of blaring car horns and alarms grew fainter, yet still I ran, convinced in my young stoned brain someone was right behind me.

Again I ran between two houses, through another back yard, and then I found myself stopped by another chain link fence. This one didn't have a hole in it, though. I was running on pure adrenaline and without thinking I tossed both my shoes and my jacket over the fence then climbed over it. I fell to the other side in a heap. When I got back up I gathered my jacket and shoes and took off running again, running through the dark November night, out onto a non-residential street for the first time.

Hide, I thought, remembering Lee's words. I had to find a place to hide. I glanced up and down the street and saw several boarded up businesses, a weed-ridden parking lot, and a gas station. Bathroom, I thought. That would be a good place to hide. I ran in the direction of the gas station and nearly out into traffic before realizing I was at a crosswalk. The light turned green for me after what felt like an eternity and I ran across the street, still feeling pursued and not caring that I looked practically naked to all the cars that had come to a halt at the light. I ran past a skinny black man bundled up in tattered coats and pushing a shopping cart full of empty aluminum cans. I passed another black man filling his SUV with gas and then went into the little building.

Breathless, now, I said to the gas station clerk who was reading a yellowed copy of Reader's Digest, "I need to use the bathroom, please?"

He glanced up from his magazine, looking annoyed and tired. He was either Indian or Pakistani and he had a bushy mustache and graying hair. He said, "Paying customers only."

"Okay," I said, grabbing a pack of gum and slapping it on the counter, "I..."

My voice trailed off. I said, "Oh no..."

My purse. My purse was still in Shyreen's bedroom, along with the clothes I'd been wearing. Tears formed in my eyes. "Please..." I started.

The gas station attendant licked his index finger, turned a page in his magazine, and said, "Paying customers only."

Without a word I walked away. At the door of the small and grimy gas station I realized my feet were freezing cold. With tears of fear and confusion rolling down my cheeks I pulled my shoes back on, strapped them in place, and walked out on unsteady legs. I also pulled on my jacket. It was probably about thirty degrees outside but I hadn't noticed the cold Fall air during my desperate run. I did now, though, as the initial panic and fear dissipated into desperation.

What was I going to do? I didn't have my purse which meant I had no money, no cell phone, nothing. I was wearing an outfit that my jacket completely concealed as it reached down past my micro-skirt. Zipped up, the jacket made it look like I was naked beneath it. I had to find a place to hide, I knew, but what I really wanted was a way to get home.

I walked down the street carefully in the direction of brighter lights and more traffic. Maybe there would be a restaurant there, or a fast food place where I could hole-up in a bathroom without needing to pay for anything. I glanced over in the direction of Cleveland's downtown, its skyline. I'd be safer there, I thought, where all the theaters and businesses were located. Out here in the ghetto I was way too vulnerable. But the downtown area was so far away. I saw a rusted and bent sign for the bus-line and almost stopped, then remembered I had no money to pay the fare even if the buses were running.

At the corner of another major intersection I saw a payphone and decided I had to do it. I had to call for help. I picked up the phone and made a collect phone call to my house. Jason would be there. He'd do God knew what to me when I explained the situation to him, but anything was better than being where I was.

"Becky," I said when the automated voice of the collect-call service asked who was calling. I heard the phone ring. And ring. And ring.

No one answered. Jason either wasn't home or he wasn't answering the phone.

I began to cry. I felt naked and alone and terrified and even though I was still sort of stoned there was nothing soft and comforting about my high. The situation I was in was awful. Could I find a place to hide? Yes, I decided, finally. There was no other choice, no other way. I had to find a safe place to hide out for a while, then go back to Lee's house. He said someone would be there to bring me home. He'd promised.

I started walking again. Click-clack went my two-inch heel shoes on the concrete, my jacket wrapped around my body. I felt naked and alone and scared. But then I saw, way off in the distance, two golden arches alight in the dark November sky. Maybe fifteen minutes away. There would be a bathroom there, at that McDonald's. I could hide there, I decided. I hurried my pace.

A car heading toward me slowed then stopped. The passenger window rolled down. I would have ignored it and kept walking except the car was clean and new looking, unlike most of the cars on this street. Also, the man who called out to me was white. I hate to say it, but seeing another white face out there was a relief. The middle aged man said, "You need a ride?"

I paused. Glancing around uncertainly, I nonetheless walked over to the passenger side window and leaned in to get a better look at the man. He was clean-cut looking and wore khaki's and a polo shirt. He was a bit overweight but had a friendly smile on his aging face. I said, "I really do..."

A loud "CLACK" sound rang through my ears. He'd unlocked the passenger side door. "Then get in," he said.

Getting into a stranger's car went against everything I'd ever been taught about safety. But I was cold, stoned, confused, and scared. The idea that he would give me a ride, if even just down the street to the McDonald's, was irresistible. Without any hesitation I opened the door to his sedan and got in. The warmth hit me like a ton of bricks and made me shudder.

"Where you headed?" the man asked.

"I want to go home," I stammered, not sure what else to say. I told him where I lived and he laughed.

"That's a pretty long drive," he said. "You a cop?"

I blinked at him. "What? No..."

"I haven't seen you out here before," he mused before making a u-turn. "You one of Gus's girls?"

I was really confused now. His car was pointed in the direction of the McDonald's, at least, but he didn't seem to be in any hurry. "I just want to go home," I said. Pointing a shaky finger that was pink from the cold I added, "Or just ... if you can bring me to that McDonald's..."

He gave me a sly look and turned right down a short, dark alley. He turned left at the end of it and parked in another narrow alley next to a Dumpster. He said, "Let's cut the bullshit. All I want is a blowjob and I'll pay twenty. I'm not a cop, see?"

The man unzipped his pants and I watched him do so in slow motion. What was going on? He took out his slender white dick and he held it out for me, flaccid, and he grinned. "Just a blowjob. Take off the jacket, I want to see you."

I gulped. He was a John, I realized. He'd picked me up thinking I was a hooker. I realized that, given my outfit, I sort of looked the part. I'd seen a couple episodes of a TV show that followed cops around busting everyone from drug dealers to prostitutes and for the first time I understood that my outfit made me look like a "street walker". This realization surprised me when my stoned and confused young body shuddered with delight. Instantly I remembered Proverbs 23:27-28, "A prostitute is a deep pit and a wayward wife is a narrow well. Like a bandit she lies in wait, and multiplies the unfaithful among men." It was a quote in my Book of Sins under Prostitution. I licked my lips then I bit my lower one.

"Well?" he said, the car still running. "$20. Should be enough to get you a cab ride home."

He was teasing me with that last sentence. He didn't believe I really just wanted a ride home. I thought for a minute then gave in to my nature. I sort of watched myself, detached, as my little hands went up and began to unzip my jacket. He whistled at the sight of my barely developed adolescent body and the obscene outfit I was wearing but still I only felt detached. I shrugged the jacket off my shoulders and he slid forward in his seat. His cock was getting hard. With absolutely no expression on my face I heard myself say, "Give me the money."

He grinned. "I knew you were workin'," he said. "Damn it, though, you junkie street walkers are getting younger all the time. Here." He gave me two wrinkled ten-dollar bills. I shoved them into the tight belt of my micro-skirt. I felt dirty and electric, excited and scared, but I leaned forward anyway and as if in slow motion, took his penis into my mouth.

Being paid to give a blowjob was exciting. There was no denying it. I felt myself getting damp between my legs even as the acrid smell of his crotch filled my nostrils. I licked the head of his small pecker and then gagged myself on it, knowing I could take it all without any real effort since his was definitely the smallest cock I'd ever had. $20, I kept thinking, just for doing this ... it made me feel whorish, and ashamed, but it also made me feel safe. I would have enough money, after, to pay for a taxi to take me home. He'd said so himself and that's all I wanted, now, to go home and forget all about the city and Lee and the Four-Oh Crew. I worked his cock with nothing but my tongue and throat and he worked his hands into my blond hair, urging me, helping me.