Chapter 1

No matter how you look at it, that was a weird experience! He was sitting at his desk, working on the specifications for a Persian shield for the upcoming epic "Heroes in the Sand," when there was a great FROOOOM! sound and all that disappeared.

The next thing he knew, he was on the set for a Dungeons and Dragons B-production. He knew that it was a B-production, because no self-respecting director would allow so much dust and so many cobwebs to accumulate in the workshop. Furthermore, there was moisture everywhere—the walls were sweating like the inside of a Turkish bath. No first class electrician would allow so much water around his high voltage equipment. Yes, indeed, definitely a low-budget indie production.

And that actor in the filthy robes! It looked like he had been in them for at least a weak. His makeup was atrocious! That scraggly beard and mustache must have been applied by a second level apprentice, it looked like it hadn't been combed in a week, though it did match the wear and tear on the robe.

The props were ridiculous! Here was a human skull and there was a stuffed raven. A big crystal globe was resting on a heavy-duty table. There was a roaring fire in a monster fireplace, making enough noise to drown out any reasonable level of dialog volume. He could go on and on about the slovenly production values.

And last, but not least, here he was inside a giant metal cage! Hey, wait a minute! What was he doing on the set. He didn't even belong to the union! Somebody was going to have his balls in a vise over this one!

This was when the actor made up to look like a two-bit wizard from an old Keystone production came over and sat on a stool near the cage. He asked, "Can you understand me? By the gods, I hope so. This conjuration has taken so much out of me that I couldn't do anything to fix that for days."

That's when Sam Hanks lost it! He began to yell, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? I'M ALREADY BEHIND SCHEDULE ON 'HEROES IN THE SAND!' IF I DON'T FINISH UP DAMNED SOON, MY ASS WILL BE IN A TIGHT SLING! LET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"You do speak our language! Thank the gods! Now, just calm down and I'll tell you why you're here."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'SPEAK OUR LANGUAGE?' OF COURSE I SPEAK ENGLISH!... What the shit! This isn't English I'm speaking! What did you do to me?"

"I conjured you here from another dimension to aid us in our time of need. I was looking for a great wizard, and you were reputed the be the best in the land! When you have finished solving our problems, I think that I can return you to nearly the same place and time you came from. Of course, if you are as good as your reputation claims, you could probably go back right now on your own if I did not have you confined in that brizium cage."

"What's a brizium cage?"

"Brizium nullifies all magic fields, so any wizard or demon confined to a brizium cage cannot escape nor perform any other magic spell. I'll let you out, as soon as you calm down and listen to what I have to say."

"OK. I'm listening. Go ahead."

"The Kingdom of Alieria is under attack by the Empire of Usra. Usra is a conglomeration of small states each controlled by an evil and very powerful wizard. Rumor has it that the Empire is ruled by Evil Incarnate, sometimes called The Devil, but I have no way of knowing that as a certainty.

"Anyway, Usra has attacked and conquered most of Alieria and is close to laying siege to our capital city, Alier. If Alier falls, there is no hope for Alieria. And if Alieria falls, there is no hope for our world.

"The evil wizards have been using powerful magic against our Army, and we good wizards of Alieria have been totally unable to counter them. Their magic simply is too strong for us. We have brought you here in the hope that your magic is strong enough to counter their evil magic and rescue us from an evil fate."

"What do you mean by 'magic?' I don't know any magic! I'm a wizard at special effects and special props for movies. I'm acknowledged to be the best SFX man in the business... OH, SHIT! That must be where you got the idea I was a wizard of magic. Look, I can't help you. I don't know any magic! I don't even believe in magic! Now, send me home!"

"Oh, dear, I have made a ghastly mistake! I have brought the wrong man, and I won't have the strength for another such conjuration for at least two weeks. By then, it will be too late. We will all die a horrible death, even you!"

At this moment, the most beautiful woman Sam had ever seen walked into the wizard's workshop. "Agar, is this the great wizard you have been trying to kidnap for the past week of constant work? He's certainly handsome enough, but he doesn't look like what I think a wizard should be."

"Your majesty, please don't say that word 'kidnap.' It sounds so mundane! Yes, this is the man I was after, but he claims that he knows no magic and cannot help us. If that is true, then we are doomed, because I cannot work another such conjuration for at least two weeks."

"Maybe he's just being stubborn. Perhaps I can convince him to aid us. Stranger, what is your name?"

"How do you do, your majesty? My name is Sam Hanks. I would like to help you, but I do not know any magic. My specialty is illusion and astonishment."

"Ah, Mr. Hanks, that is precisely what most magic is! It provides an illusion of some strange thing or happening and astonishes the beholder. Perhaps the problem is not that you lack the ability to perform magic, but that you are just not familiar with our words we use to describe magic.

"Agar, open the cage so that Mr. Hanks and I can adjourn to a more comfortable locale to discuss this further."

"Very well, Princess Olena, I hope you know what you are doing."

"I'm sure I do, Agar. Come, Mr. Hanks, let us move to my conference chamber where we can sit and converse in comfort. Perhaps you would like some refreshment?"

"Thank you, your majesty. I would be delighted to accompany you."

The two left the wizard's workshop and walked a goodly distance to a very pleasant room outfitted with comfortable chairs, and light and airy in nature. Princess Olena pulled a bell cord and a woman came in.

"Yes, your majesty?"

"Please bring us suitable refreshments, Lady Anne."

"Right away, your majesty."

"Now, Mr. Hanks, Do you have any specific questions while we are waiting for Lady Anne to return?"

"Yes, I do. What is the difference between your kingdom and the Empire that would make me care which one of you wins the coming battle?"

"That is an easy question to answer. Our people are free to do as they like, to live anywhere they choose, and to come and go at their pleasure. Except for the ruling elite, the people in the Empire are slaves. Not merely servants, but slaves. They live purely at the whim of the rulers and have no say in their lives at all. There are other things, but that is the one thing that means the most to me."

"What would happen to you personally, if the Empire wins?"

"To me? I would be raped and tortured to death, as would my entire family!"

"Raped and tortured to death!?! How can you say that so calmly?

"That fate has been hanging over my head for a year. I have simply come to accept it if I cannot find a way to save my people. I have come to believe that, in the long run, I will be getting off easier than they will."