A Log Truck Driver In Outer Space
Copyright© 2007 by cmsix
Science Fiction Sex Story: Chapter 27 - Billy Joe Stephens, a real life good ole boy from North East Texas, has an early morning encounter with Space Aliens. Anal probing is not what he is wishing for in this First Contact.
That left me with another complicated decision to make and to top it off I didn't have a real reason in mind to make Mars livable. It just came to me as something that might be possible. Now I could see that it wouldn't be possible in my lifetime. The real question was whether it was worth doing for others coming along after me. Oh well, it wasn't like there was any hurry to get right on it.
Damn if I hadn't fucked around and made it through the afternoon looking busy and productive the whole time. I used my phone and located my women. They said it felt like suppertime to them too and they met me at Jane's cafe.
We settled for a table this time and ordered custom-made food instead of going through the line. I thought two New York Strips, a baked potato, homemade whole wheat bread, and Ranch Style Beans were just what I needed and it seemed to get the girls in the red meat mood too. They all ended up ordering steaks as well.
After we'd eaten we headed back to the bus. I had visions of an orgy with me as the principle. Apparently the Coalition and its chief executive had other things on their mind. At least Charlie left me alone until we were all in the bus and the coffee pot was working its magic.
"Billy Joe, you have a message from the Honorable Jotalta Caldonton. He would like for you to return his call as soon as possible."
"Very well, do it," I said.
After some preliminary chitchat he got down to business. The Coalition was requesting my presence in Elvis' stead at the Elvis Satellite. They wanted me to perform for the next seven days, starting tomorrow night. Due to the differences in the planetary times it would be approximately forty-three hours from now. The trip there would take twelve hours.
Personally, I thought it was a little bit of short notice but I didn't see any major problems. That didn't mean I was going to answer right now though. I told the Honorable Jotalta Caldonton that I would give him an answer in two hours and we hung up, sorta.
"What did he want this late in the day," Karen asked, and from her tone I knew she was suspicious.
"The Coalition wants me to play a few shows while Elvis is still showing his ass. The first one starts forty-three hours from now and it will take twelve hours travel time," I said.
"How are you going to travel?" Karen asked.
"Yeh, and how do you know they won't keep you?" Wanda asked, and the body language of the others showed they wanted answers too.
"I don't know and I don't know. Do you have any suggestions Charlie?" I asked, but he was twenty seconds or so answering.
"I have queried the Honorable Jotalta Caldonton's intelligent machine. It reports that we will travel with them. I have no opinion as to the safety of your person during the time you will spend there," he said.
"Well, they want me to do seven days worth of shows. I expect we'll be safe enough until the last one is over, unless I stink up the joint. After that it'll be trust them to do the right thing unless you can come up with some overwhelming force at long distance Charlie," I said.
"Please give me a few minutes to survey the details of the venue," he said, and fell silent.
The rest of us just looked at each other and then I remembered the coffee and got a cup for myself. Charlie came back just as I was taking my last sip.
"The Elvis Satellite has a very robust protection system. It is an advanced force field arrangement. Only their larger military vessels have the ability to defeat it. As per usual, they concentrated on the brute force method of protection. The AI in charge of things has practically no safeguards against sabotage. I'm certain I can build a device to let you take complete control of the AI. I suggest that I construct the device and then place it inside a copy of one of your guitars.
"I will take the precaution of manipulating the AI there to allow you to take control of it when you arrive. It will function normally unless you command it otherwise. I propose closing it off from entrance and exit. If they attempt to take you captive you can merely use your control of the satellite's AI to return the favor.
"Weapons in the satellite are strictly controlled. None are allowed except to security personnel. I can see to it that control of them will be switched to you," he said.
"Will that be any help if we have a long siege?" I asked.
"If the problem isn't resolved within a few hours you can have the AI place your captors in suspended animation. There will be plenty of life support to last for years with only a few hundred people conscious," he said.
"That sounds like an excellent plan to me. Please make the arrangements and in your spare time keep checking your estimations to make sure nothing else comes up. I doubt I'm worth the lives of five hundred thousand of the Coalition's rich beings," I said.
"Especially since I know that the chief executive and many of his closest advisors will be present," Charlie said.
"What kind of time lag will communications between you and I have while I'm there?" I asked.
"I am modifying the Honorable Jotalta Caldonton's intelligent machine now. It will be placing a buoy for communication relay every hour of the trip. We will have approximately a two minute one way lag between transmissions."
"I don't see a damned thing wrong with that. See if you can come up with a way to force the issue after you're done with the device in the guitar," I said.
"Force which issue?" he asked.
"I'd like to be able to leave the Satellite whether they want me to or not," I said.
"I see. That might be possible but will take three or four days at least. Remember also that the AI in the vessel will be full of knowledge and information but will be child like in its experience. You will have to do its thinking for it," he said.
"I hope I can handle the, but if it comes down to it we don't have much choice," I said.
"No we don't. I feel that I have failed to look ahead. I should have constructed several AIs immediately and they could have been days along in their abilities. Oh well, I will remedy that at once," he said.
"We can't waste time worrying about what we should have done. All we can do is go from here. There's a chance that nothing untoward will happen, but I don't want to count on that."
Damned if I wasn't out of the mood for slap and tickle now and it seemed the girls were on the same dreary page. We perked up a little by playing grab ass in the bathroom, but when we hit the sheets our hearts weren't in it. I was asleep in minutes.
At least I felt better in the morning but apparently the girls didn't. They intended to mope around the bus and cobble up their own breakfast. I didn't. I headed for Jane's place as soon as I was dressed and Jocklyn was ready and able to serve coffee and return later with another thick steak and half a dozen fried eggs. At least if they killed me I'd die fat.
As I finished the meal another thought came to me. Of course it was up to Charlie to answer it.
"Charlie, don't you think its possible that the chief executive will have armed body guards?" I asked.
"It is very possible. He could even have extra guards that didn't stay close the whole time, but it won't be a problem," he said.
"Why won't it?"
"As I mentioned I am in control of the satellite's AI now. It isn't very intelligent but it does have significant resources. It is able to mark and track individuals as they enter and they will not know. It can also easily detect any type of weapon anyone might bring in.
"If armed guards enter they will have to have notified the AI ahead of time or they would be transported to a holding facility when they entered," he said.
"If we let them pass can the AI retrieve them later? If so, how long would that take?"
"Yes, it can retrieve them at any time. Its specifications call for it to be able to do it within less than two seconds. If you signal it all armed personnel will be retrieved at once," he said.
"Good. What types of weapons are available from that AI?"
"Everything from small hand weapons to large lasers or plasma rifles," he said.
"If we were to bring handguns would it detect them?"
"Certainly, but if you want to do it there will be no problem. I'll simply inform it that you are not to be checked," he said.
"Even better. I'd also like for it to be informed to take anyone that puts their hand on their weapon, aside from us, into custody and immobilize them."
"The signal is on its way," he said.
"This left me with not much on my mind so I went back to the bus and gathered the girls for a little pistol practice. Glocks were a little large for this sort of thing so I had Charlie find the specifications for and then create some semi-automatic 380s for us. I'd owned one like I wanted before. I believe it was made by LLama. It was similar to a Browning Hi-Power but chambered for 380. It was also scaled down appropriately.
They didn't give me one bit of trouble over a new weapon and some practice with it. They were confident that Charlie could prepare things to our advantage but understood he would be working at a distance. They were happy to be doing something they considered pro-active.
We practiced until lunchtime and after a short nap we were at it again. We pretty much tabled any other projects we were working on and concentrated on practicing and waiting.
The mood was considerably improved that night and we had a nice homemade orgy before conking out. The girls fixed breakfast the next morning. Aside from one more practice session with the pistols we just ate at mealtime and then sat on our asses and worried. Since Charlie would be putting us aboard the Honorable Jotalta Caldonton's ship when it was time to leave we went to bed expecting to wake up on our way.
We arrived three hours before showtime and were led to a dressing room that looked like a very large hotel suite. All our luggage and my instruments were brought along for us. As soon as we were alone I contacted Sam, the satellite's AI. I'd had Charlie inform him of his new name.
Sam reported that everything was normal for now. None of the audience had showed up this early but he thought some might start arriving within the hour. I wondered how in the hell half a million people would get to their seats in that short a time.
"Most of our guests have me transport them to their seats," Sam said, and it made perfect sense, I just hadn't thought of it.
"Tell me Sam, is there anyone here to give me a little info about how things go here?" I asked.
"Yes, the one Elvis calls MC can explain the details, though they are not set in stone. Elvis usually did whatever he felt like doing and it was not often the same thing," he said.
"Well send MC by for a chat anyway. It can't hurt," I said, but I was wrong.
MC was yet another officious asshole. Since I'd requested his presence he thought he was in control. Every other sentence started with you must and got worse from there. It didn't take me long to get enough of it.
"You're a stupid little turd aren't you?" I asked, after I'd had enough.
"Do you think I'm going to put up with any of your bullshit? I'm here at the chief executive's special request to try covering up for Elvis' tantrum. If he has to deal with you it's no wonder he won't come around."
"You mean you're not going to follow instructions?" he asked, and tried to sound like it would be a cardinal sin.
"That's exactly what I mean. Now get out of my sight before I kick your ass out," I said, and he scurried away.
Finally I was beginning to see the light. No matter how stupid one of these fuckers was he thought he was running the whole shebang unless he knew the one talking to him was. I wasn't sure about the way they were organized, but apparently orders from someone just a tad higher up the chain from you were to be obeyed at once. Not fucking likely for me though. In fact I was thinking about leaving Elvis tunes out of the show completely, just for meanness.
I decided against it at the last. Hell, I wanted the crowd, or most of it, on my side for a while at least.
I spent the next hour warming up my fingers and my voice. At least the girls enjoyed it. Apparently MC didn't intend to come back into my sight because Sam showed me the way to the stage.
I walked out to the mark and got the show on the road.
"Howdy, from Texas. I'm Billy Joe Stephens and I came to show you what a real redneck can do," I said, and then hit them with "Love Me Tender." It was well received and I had to tell them if they kept clapping all night I wouldn't be able to play much and they stopped at once.
Country DJs knows that I'm an Outlaw
They'd never come to see me in this dive
Where bikers stare at Cowboys
Who are laughing at the hippies
Who are praying they'll get out of here alive
The loudmouth in the corner's gettin' to me
Talkin' bout my earrings and my hair
I guess he ain't read the signs that say I've been to prison
Someone ougth'a warn him 'fore I knock him off his chair
Cause my long hair just can't cover up my redneck
I've won every fight I've ever fought
An I don't need some turkey tellin' me that I ain't country
Sayin I ain't worth the damned old ticket that he bought
Cause I can sing all them songs about Texas
And I still do all the sad ones that I know
They tell me I look like Merel Haggard
And sounds a lot like David Alan Coe...
No matter what I'd told them the last time, they were flailing what they called hands together for all they were worth. They'd seemed a little fractious when I started that last one but they got into it pretty quickly. It made me think they'd clap for anything so I tried another favorite of mine.
Pack up all the dishes
Make note of all good wishes
Say goodbye to the landlord for me
Son's a bitches always bore me
Throw out those LA papers
Mouldy box of vanilla wafers
Adios to all this concrete
Gonna get me some dirt road back street