Chapter 18: Advice for a Friend

Another Wednesday at school; middle of the week, hump-day, we were almost halfway there. Something had been tickling the back of my brain and I had decided to go out on a limb and talk to Miss Jenkins about a very personal issue. I hoped that she would be able to help me. I caught up with her at break and asked her if she would be able to spare a little time at lunch. She had no plans and agreed to meet with me, so I met her outside the gym. I had picked up a burrito at the snack bar, and she didn't eat lunch. I finished it just as she arrived.

"Thanks for meeting with me, Miss Jenkins."

"No problem, Jimmy. I'm a little curious what kind of personal issue you may need me for. I know you are doing some work with Bob, I would have assumed that anything personal you would have discussed with him."

"Not for this. Bob is helping me with something else entirely. A much bigger problem; this is just a little thing I hope you can help me with." I could feel myself starting to blush. "It's more personal, and a little embarrassing; it has to do with something I think you would have much more experience with."

She couldn't help but smile at my discomfort. "I see, and what might that be?"

"I have two friends that have recently discovered new depths to their relationship. They have been slowly exploring 'new territory' if you catch my meaning. I think they would benefit from a more experienced person to guide them through any rough spots they may encounter along the path they are exploring. I hope that is not too vague."

"No, I think I understand your meaning, and I'm impressed with your phrasing. I think we could be having this discussion in a crowded restaurant and still not attract attention. Just to be sure that I am getting this correctly. You have two friends, two girl friends; that are discovering that they have lesbian tendencies and are uncertain of where to go or what to do about them. They need someone to talk to."

"Yes, but they are not lesbians, as of now, they are clearly bi-sexual."

"Ahh, I see. And you know this because..."

"Yes."

She shook her head and said, "You are an amazing young man, Mr. Matthews. You are what, fifteen? You have been here all of six days and in that time you are professionally involved with one of the top psychotherapists in the state. You probably didn't know this but Bob is extremely good. I don't know the nature of what you are doing with him but I get the distinct impression it's not that you need therapy, and no, I don't want to know any more. If at some point you feel like talking about it, I'm sure you will. Now you are involved with two women who are also involved with each other, a situation that men twice your age fantasize about, and you are concerned that they may need someone to talk to about their feelings, and for some reason you think it's perfectly okay to just walk up to me and drop all of this in my lap? You do realize that just having this conversation is a huge risk for me professionally?"

"That's why we are having this conversation here, in a public place where no one will think we are trying to hide something. If we were meeting in private someone might think something was strange about it. Here, we are just a teacher and a student having a conversation. No one can hear what we are saying and we can see if anyone approaches, so there is no chance of someone finding out about it unless one of us says something. I think I made it clear that I think you are a person that understands trust and personal confidence. I hope that you would trust me as well. If you are not sure about my knowing how important that is, please feel free to ask Mr. Shelby if he thinks I understand just how serious an issue that is. I'm sure that he will tell you that I am familiar with the concept. How am I doing so far?"

"Sounds like you've thought it out very well indeed. You read a lot of spy novels in your spare time?"

I laughed at this. "No, not really, but between what I have read, plus TV and movies, you can't help but pick some stuff up. Lately I've been paying more attention to some of it. So do you think you can help them?"

"I have no idea. I probably won't know unless they come to me. It depends on what kind of help they need. But if they do have any problems or questions, I will be happy to help in any way I can. I wish I'd had someone to talk to when I was just finding out about myself. I wish I'd had someone like you who cared enough about me to help find someone I could have talked to." She paused for a moment. "You know, Jimmy, the more time I spend around you the more impressed I am. You give me great hope for the future."

"Well, I'm not sure why that would be but thank you anyway."

"Jimmy, most young people your age would never even consider the possibility that a lover may have issues about their own relationship, much less a relationship with someone else. For that matter, they would never even tolerate the idea of sharing someone's affections, much less their bodies, with someone else. And yes, I understand that most guys would kill to be in your shoes but trust me, they would only be in it for the three-way fantasy sex and even then they would be broadcasting it to all their friends and the girls' lives would be ruined. But you, you're genuinely concerned about them, about more than just the sex, aren't you."

I couldn't help blushing. "Well, the sex thing hasn't come up, but I like to think that I care more about them than I would about that. In fact, I know I do. I just want to make sure that if, or more likely when, something comes up, they have someone to talk to. If things progress then eventually it will come out, and, well, I'm sure I don't need to tell you about social pressures and problems."

"No kidding. Being different always comes with a price. I remember dreading the day someone would find out that I was gay. I lost two of my best friends over it. They just couldn't deal with the fact that I might be thinking 'those' thoughts about them when we were together. So tell your friends that if they need someone to talk to I will be happy to talk with them."

"Okay, at least for now though any questions may have to come through me. They don't attend here. Unless you're comfortable giving out your home number?"

"No, I don't have a problem with them calling me at home, and if I'm not available I'm sure they could talk to Lynn."

I had to stop and think about that one. "Would it be a problem for her if they were students of hers?"

"Students of hers? I'm surprised they haven't gone to her directly."

"Is she a counselor?"

"No, you're right; she's not, so they probably wouldn't think of her as approachable."

"If they were to consult her away from campus as a friend and not as a teacher would it be considered a conflict? For that matter, is it a conflict for you?"

"I doubt it would be for her, it certainly isn't for me. They aren't students here. When I said it was a risk for me I meant having a discussion of this nature with you. Surprisingly, even though I'm openly homosexual, I would still be in more trouble for talking about sex to a boy than to a girl. My concern is what would their parents think of them calling a teacher up at home? Do their parents know about their leanings? Or their relationship? I'm guessing not, most parents aren't comfortable with the idea of their kids being gay, and they certainly don't want to think their kids are active."

I paused, considering how far I could safely go. "I can only speak for one of them. While her parents do know she is active they do not know about her bi-sexual leanings. I can say without reservation that it would not be a problem for them. As far as the other girl, I really can't say any more without talking to her first."

She nodded. "I understand, and I must say I applaud your discretion. Why don't we just leave it for now; I'll talk to Lynn, you talk to your girlfriend, girl friends, and we'll talk again."

"Okay, but would it be better if I called and spoke to you at home? I don't think we could meet like this two days in a row without attracting attention."

She shook her head. "Are you sure you don't read spy novels? You're right of course, but it's not what I expect from someone your age. I'm starting to think there is a lot more to your life even than what you have told me so far."

Lunch was pretty much over by then. She gave me her home number and I headed off to finish classes. The afternoon was pretty much a mirror of the morning so it flew by.

I decided to go out again for the second day of cross country try-outs. I didn't have to, but now that I knew what was involved I decided I wanted to see what I could do. I had kept a pretty standard pace the day before, this time I wanted to really push my limits. I changed into running clothes and went out to stretch. One of the same returnees from last year's team was there again. I told Mr. Shelby what I had in mind and asked him to pair us up.

"I can do better than that. Tim? Could you come over here for a second?"

"Tim Osborne, James Matthews." We shook hands. Tim was a little taller than me and just 'looked' like a runner. His hair was not short but not long either. It had obviously been cut for low maintenance. Kind of layered back so that no matter what it couldn't get into his face. "Tim? Is Angie still planning on dropping by today?"

"Oh no! Coach, please say you're not going to make me run with her!"

"Come on now, Tim, suck it up! Take one for the team! You saw Jimmy run yesterday? He wants to push it today and see what he can do. I would like you and Angie to tag along and evaluate him."

"Tag along? Unless Anj has installed rear view mirrors she's not likely to be evaluating anyone."

"Tim, it's a short run, push yourself. I'd like to see what you can do, and we both know that if you can keep up with her and still finish the race, you've run well. You've grown since last year, Tim, I think you may surprise yourself. Unless you took the whole summer off? No? Didn't think so. Oh, there she is now."

Tim just kind of rolled his eyes at the figure walking towards us. Then he looked at me, "Dude, you are so going to regret this."

I looked again at the girl walking towards us. Regret that? Not likely. She was gorgeous! If she wasn't six foot then it wasn't worth measuring how close. Golden skin? She must live in Hawaii and visit here for school. Long brown hair; she had it tied back in a braid and it reached to her waist. She moved like a lioness, strong and confident. Just watching her muscles as she walked was hypnotic, especially considering her attire. She was wearing a pair of those really skimpy track shorts and a half-shirt, and the shirt was tight fitting and really emphasized her breasts. Not huge, but larger than Shannon's. She must have had an industrial sports bra on because they didn't so much as quiver. A little voice in my head told me that I was looking at Shannon in four more years. Allison would never get there; she just wasn't built on that scale, but Shannon? Yeah, I could see this in her future without even flexing my imagination.

"James Matthews, meet Satan's little sister. Ow!" Tim said as she slugged him in the arm, "I mean, meet my sister, Angela. Last year's state champion in girl's cross-country; two time gold medalist at the Junior Olympics and preparing to compete for the US track and field team. The evil witch that got me hooked on this damn sport. Can you tell how much I love her?"

Actually I could. He looked at her like I looked at Allison. And she was just as blind to it as I had been. Oh, I'm sure she loved him, as a brother. As we shook hands, but all I could think was, "You poor unfortunate soul."

"Nice to meet you," she said. Her handshake was firm but not strong.