Chapter 1

Hello my name is Joe Dorf, and yes, I have gotten a lot of grief over my last name. However, that's not what this story is about. It's about... Well, why don't I just tell it, and you can see for yourself.

I live in a town house. A town house is basically a glorified high priced apartment complex. I don't know why I chose to live here. Might be because I own it. Of course the management company doesn't know that. Well, the owner of the company does. But that's only because I inherited him, when I bought the place. Needless to say, Fred was a bit much to handle at times. I just haven't decided yet if I want to continue with his company or not, but Martell Management came with such high recommendations. I guess that is why I chose to live here. I wanted to get a feel for the people Fred employed.

Besides Fred, none of other the half dozen people that work in the complex, have any idea that I own it. To them I am just the 27-year-old bum. What can I say? That's what I put down as my employment on the application to get in here. I guess I thought it was funny to list myself as a professional bum. I was thinking of 'beach bum', at the time. However, since I was no where near the ocean, and I didn't actually surf, I shortened it for the application to get in here.

They weren't going to let me in, until I pulled a few strings. Strange how a letter from the owner saying 'you had better give Joe the bum a unit' changed their minds. Well the management didn't like me, to say the least. Must have been the part about my rent being only a dollar a month. They still insisted on the $1800 security deposit, in case I trashed the place.

Being a bum, I paid the deposit in pennies. Now I don't normally mess with people like that. But that bitch Sue (the onsite property manager), had gone out of her way to keep me out. You should have seen her bitch about the 180,000 pennies. It took her a few trips to the bank to deposit them. It was her own fault, after all. She wasn't even going to accept them, until I started tapping on the letter from Fred, the one telling her to rent me the place.

I think she is a bull dyke. Not that I have a problem with her sexual orientation. I only mention it, because she fits the stereotypical personality type so well. Then again, maybe she is not, but it's still fun to harass her.

I could just see the shorthaired 36-year-old blond standing over her poor slave of the moment. You know... dressed in leather, with a whip, and holding shackles in her hand. I could really have some sympathy for the poor girl that would be her victim. Sorry, got side tracked with that vision.

I should tell you I am average looking. I don't stand out, even if I am 6 foot tall. I have sandy blond hair, blue eyes and I only weight 185lbs. To tell the truth, I actually look kind of sickly at that weight. I should start working out again. I had kind of let myself go after the lottery win. Yes, that's how I can afford to own a 15 million dollar complex. All 400 units are mine, and at 1500 to 2500 a month well you can see why it was a great investment. I mean even at 5%, 15 million didn't give me but 750,000 a year. The complex gives me just shy of a million, every two months.

So I don't work, I don't need to. I spend too much time at the pool, looking at the pretty girls. Sue Webber, the property manager, hated me for doing that, until she figured out a way to make me earn my rent around there.

I mean Sue was stacked, and sported a set of double 'D's for headlights. It really pissed her off when you stared at them when talking to her. Naturally, that was what I did the whole time she explained the complex's new volunteer lifeguard program.

Now really I am harmless. Actually, after my lottery winning, I had to change my name and leave the state I was born in. God, were the gold diggers ever coming out of the woodwork! I mean every girl I knew from high school and even some I didn't were courting me. They were all trying to seduce me, and get their hands on my money. At first I toyed with most of them. I got laid so many times it was ridiculous. It was also so shallow I was unfulfilled by it.

It was after having to be treated for crabs, that I really wised up and decided to change my ways. God! What if it had been a real STD, or AIDS. That would have been a real bummer.

I made a list of what I wanted, and thought I needed, in a relationship. The one thing I was sure I didn't want was more gold diggers. I wanted a woman that would love me for me not what I could give her. Then, afterwards, I could make her dreams come true. Sue Webber was not on that list of course.

Oh, you probably want to know how much I won. Okay, I took the cash option on a power ball lotto of 60 million. Since I only got half, and the gov'ment grabs a third of that, you can do the math from there.

I had been living here for six months when a couple of 23-year old girls moved in to the town house connected to mine. They were knock out dead gorgeous, and sexy. Unfortunately they were also confirmed lesbians. At least they acted the part, the way they were always kissing on each other, and being all touchy feely as I helped them unload the rental truck.

So much for asking one or the other out. I did however end up helping them move in. I am sure Sue was behind the idea in the end. Must have been the $100.00 they paid me for doing my imitation of a mule. Well that's what I felt like helping them carry everything in.

They paid me after I helped, they didn't offer me money up front to do so. I politely refused and they wouldn't hear of it. Said if I really didn't want it I could buy them a house-warming present. Well what does one get two 23-year-old lesbians college students for a house-warming present? I had no idea, that was for sure. I would just have to bide my time and learn what they liked.

"Fine" I said to Annette, she was the Red head of the two, then I added "but then I am paying for the pizza." Lois the Brunette and Annette laughed then somehow the two of them agreed, they thought it was kind of cute I guess.