Chapter 9

This chapter is dedicated to a man, who shall remain nameless, who found comfort in these stories in a time of need. More importantly, it is dedicated to the memory of his wife of 25 years, who would be with him if she could. May she rest in peace, and may he find the strength to continue on. I am honored that these stories have helped him do so.

To prevent confusion:

'Megan' refers to the present day, 37-year-old Megan

'Little Megan' or 'Young Megan' refers to the original, 14 year old Megan of Planet # 3 that was killed by Bandor before the exodus to earth.

The silence in the room was deafening. Everyone was looking at me. I'm sure my mouth hung open as I tried to deal with what Megan had just told us.

I knew I had ordered things to be kept secret before we left Planet # 3; we had talked about that before. I was sure I had a good reason for it, even though I couldn't remember why. But to order something wiped from my own mind, then order it to be kept secret from myself? That was... interesting, to say the least.

"Megan... I don't understand. Why would I want to keep something secret from myself, then have my own mind wiped to ensure that secrecy? And what about all of you? Do you know what it is, or did I have your minds wiped also?"

Megan looked uncomfortable with my question. She's a delight to be around most of the time, partially because of her excellent, although admittedly sometimes dry, sense of humor. She looked at me with a slight smile.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I cannot answer that question," she deadpanned. Everyone laughed; before I could get mad, Megan hastened to explain.

"Patrick, several of us probably have an idea what it's about. Lisa knows, of course. I think it likely that Elizabeth knows, as she knows more about our past than anyone except Lisa. Eric and I probably have an idea, but we could be hopelessly wrong. I'm sorry, but you really need to deal with Lisa on this. She's the expert on this subject. If she won't tell you, none of us will even hint what it's about. Lisa loves you and only wants what's best for you specifically, and all of us in general. If she feels it's better that you not know what this is about, no one here will challenge her. I'm sorry."

Elizabeth spoke before I could respond.

"Actually, I may know less than Megan supposes. I have a general idea, but if this pertains to what I think it does, it was after I stepped down as Queen and I wasn't around much. I probably don't know all the particulars."

"But you do know who Amanda is, or was?" I asked.

Nice try.

"I'm sorry, Patrick, but I will tell you nothing about that. I already warned you to leave that subject alone. I'll say it again; for your own well-being, health, and long life, it's unwise for you to pursue that subject any further. If it's ever necessary for you to know that information, I'm sure Lisa will tell you."

"Megan, can you have Lisa come back in?" I asked. Both Megan and Elizabeth gave me a sharp look.

"Don't you go hassling her, Patrick. She's a very serious young lady when it comes to her Historian duties. If she says it's for your own good not to know, she means it, and she will not tell you," Elizabeth warned me.

"I won't hassle her... much. I just want to talk to her."

I could see it was against her better judgment, but Megan left the room and returned with Lisa following behind. She looked worried as she slowly approached me.

"You're not mad at me, are you, Daddy? You know I would tell you if I could," Lisa said hesitantly. "I love you and I don't want to see you sad or hurt."

"I'm not mad, Lisa, but I really think I should know what we're talking about... or rather, not talking about. If I'm the leader of our race, I don't think things should be happening that I don't know about." I paused and gave her a tight little smile. "I could order you to tell me, you know."

Boy, was THAT the wrong thing to say! I knew that immediately by the gray, steely look in Lisa's eyes.

"You could. You could also be looking for a new Historian. If you push it hard enough, you could even be looking for a new daughter." I heard the gasps throughout the room. I was stunned myself. I had an idea how important I was to Lisa. She didn't have a mother. This must really be important.

"It's that important, Lisa?" I asked

"This isn't a game, Dad. It's really critical that you not know. Why do you think you arranged to guarantee that you wouldn't know? You can't even begin to imagine how important it is, or the tremendous harm it could do if you knew."

"I just think I have a right to know, since it obviously concerns me," I insisted.

I was batting 1.000 today. If I were a baseball player, I would have set all kinds of records. I knew I was dead meat when I saw Lisa's face turn white and fire almost shot out of her eyes.

"You think you have a right to know?" she yelled. I saw her visibly, mentally, try to regain control of herself.

"You think have a right to know?" she repeated, almost in a whisper.

"You don't even know what rights are when it comes to this. You want to know who has a right to know? I'll tell you who has a right. Do you see those two precious girls there, your daughters? They have a right to know. For three weeks, as you lay there, not wanting to live, trying to die, those two precious girls were with you constantly, holding you, cuddling you, whispering words of love in your ear, begging you to come back to us. There was not a single moment when at least one of them, usually both, weren't with you. They slept with you, were with you every second, letting you know they cared. Hell, there were days when Cindi didn't shower even once, much less her customary three times, so she could be with you. That's love.

"Your precious sister, Victoria... she has a right to know. For three weeks, she literally never left your room. She slept in a chair so she could be there for you. Every minute she could pry one of your daughters away from you, she was with you. Her back was killing her for weeks afterward from sleeping in that chair.

"The person who really has the right to know is little Lori. Did you ever wonder why Lori, my identical twin, is so different? So quiet? Lori was devastated during that time. She begged us over and over to let her die with you. She didn't want to live without her Daddy, without her Mommy. She was lost and alone.

"Unfortunately, when we settled your problem, Lori was too badly scarred to bounce back. She didn't care anymore; she still wanted to die. She felt she had nothing to live for.

"The one right we esteem above all others is the right for any of us to give up living and die when we want to. It is torture beyond comprehension to force a being that normally doesn't die to live against their will." Lisa was crying now, huge tears rolling down her face.

"Daddy... Grampa... I committed the unpardonable offence. I did something that is so horrible that even now our code stipulates that I should be put to death. I put my life in your hands to dispose of as you see fit," Lisa said as she held her hands out in front of her, waiting for the handcuffs.

"What did you do, sweetheart?" my Dad asked. I was too shaken to talk.

"How could I lose my twin, Grampa? How could I let her lose her desire to live, to just give up and let herself die? I... I committed the ultimate of sins. Without her knowledge, without her consent, I wiped her mind of all that was killing her," Lisa sobbed.

I heard the gasps in the room. I saw the look of shock on Megan's face. Only Lori seemed calm, unaffected by Lisa's admission. I looked into Lori's eyes and realized she was not surprised. Somehow, she had known. I wondered if it had been as non-consensual as Lisa had thought it was.

"What else could I do? I couldn't let my twin die! I couldn't live without her. Worse, I couldn't put Daddy through the shock of losing one of his daughters too. He was on such tenuous ground, so close to... he couldn't stand to lose her too. I did what I had to do.

"Once I got in there, I discovered that the memories I had to get rid of were so intertwined and wrapped around her very personality that I had to take much of her away just to accomplish the bare minimum I needed to make her want to live again. I destroyed Lori to make her want to live again. What is with us now is a very sweet girl, but it's not my Lori. Not as she once was," Lisa whispered as she broke into tears.

"I'm so sorry, Lori! I didn't know what to do! I... I..." she couldn't go on.

The room was so silent I wondered if anyone was breathing. This was part of why Bandor was an outcast. To find out that Lisa was guilty of the same thing was unbelievable.

Lori ran over to her sister and wrapped her arms around her, holding her sobbing, brokenhearted twin close.

"It's ok, Lisa, I don't blame you. It had to be done. I knew what you were doing. I was aware of it and I knew it was the best thing to do. I couldn't really die, because to do so would have destroyed you. I didn't try to stop you; I knew I couldn't stop you. I love you, Lisa; it's ok. You did good." Lori held Lisa tightly and wiped her tears away.

"You... you knew? How could you know? And how do you remember? You're not supposed to remember those things," Lisa whispered.

Lori grinned nervously.

"It was your first attempt at wiping a mind. You didn't know that you always leave a backdoor. You left two backdoors. Your discussing my mind wipe just now was one of the back doors that reactivates part of my mind. I don't know what the other one is, but I know it's there. I also know that, if it is activated, it will be spectacular... and deadly!" Lori put her arm around her twin and hugged her close.

Maybe Lisa and Lori were feeling better, but I was feeling like dirt.

"What did I do to all of you that caused all of this? I am so sorry," I whispered, devastated at how I had apparently once hurt my family. "I don't understand what could have happened that was so horrendous to cause all this. I don't understand why it would be important now, so long after."

Lisa smiled at me, trying to make me feel better.

"It wasn't your fault, Daddy. You were an innocent bystander. I can't tell you about it because it nearly destroyed you before. Not much is different now. I cannot, will not take the chance that it could affect you like that again. I just can't take that chance." She held up her hand as I attempted to respond.

"Let me show you what I mean, Daddy," Lisa said. She looked at Sammi.

"Sammi. You love Eric, right?" she asked. Sammi leaned her head back on the couch, eyes closed.

"Oh God!" she whispered, answering the question for all of us.

"Sammi, what would happen if Eric died right now?" Lisa asked. Sammi's eyes flew open in panic.

"I would just want to die!" she whispered. "I couldn't live without him!" The look on her face and the panic in her eyes left no doubt in any of our minds that she meant every word.

"Amy, we already know from the last cycle what would happen if Cindi died. Cindi, what if Amy died?"

"The same," Cindi answered curtly. She apparently was not a fan of this line of conversation.

"Victoria, what would happen if Robert died right now?" Lisa asked. Victoria's face turned pale.

"I couldn't take that again," she answered clearly. Everyone believed her.

"Megan..." That was as far as she got.

"Don't even go there, Lisa. You already know the answer," Megan stated.

"Ok. Now, I need all the girls to answer two questions. Don't think about it. Say the first thing that enters your mind," Lisa stated. We waited.

"Who is the one person in the world that you love more than anyone else? Who is the one person that you could not live without, that you would just die if they died?" Lisa asked.

The room reverberated with everyone's answer.

"Patrick!" "Daddy!" They all answered together, spontaneously.

I was stunned. How could I be so important to all these people?

"Do you understand now, Daddy? There's no way I could ever risk your life by telling you something that could possibly result in your death. To do so would risk everyone's life and the extinction of our race. I'm sorry, Daddy, but you cannot know the information you seek. From recent events, I suspect I'll have to tell you someday. Not now, though." She smiled faintly. "So stop bugging me, damn it!"

"I understand, Lisa. I still think it would be useful for all of us to know who we're dealing with, that set all this up with Bandor," I insisted gently.

Lisa's face turned pale.

"If it becomes necessary to know, I'll tell everyone. I don't think it's necessary right now. There's no evidence that they know where we are, or that they even know we still exist. All of this could've been left over from long ago. It's difficult to tell you that information without getting into all of it," Lisa explained.

Lisa was not finished. She turned to Dad and me, a look of resignation on her face.

"I understand that I have committed the greatest wrong that any of us could ever do to another. I am ready and willing to accept my punishment, up to and including my immediate death. I put myself in your hands."

Dad and I looked at each other. Before we could answer, Lori spoke.

"Whatever punishment you give Lisa, you will also give me. Kill her and I will self terminate immediately. I refuse to press charges against her. She supposedly harmed me; if I refuse to press charges..." She stared at us calmly.

"Me too!" all the other girls chorused together. Like I didn't know THAT was coming!

"I don't know what you are talking about, girls. I see no reason to discipline Lisa," Dad said.

"My unauthorized mind wipe doesn't bother you?" Lisa asked incredulously. Dad looked at her innocently.

"What mind wipe? I must have missed something. I really should start paying more attention when you girls talk, I guess," Dad said, dismissing the subject. He and I started talking about fishing. The girls dropped the subject.

I was still intensely curious about what had happened so many years ago, but I had to agree with the girls' assessments. If I had been in that bad a shape mentally, as they had indicated... I could only think of one thing, or one category of incidents that would cause me that much despair. I didn't even want to speculate on that subject.

We had just finished talking when Sarah came over to me. I could see she was still upset about the death of her mysterious 'friend', the other Sarah. Jessica was also upset; she wasn't used to not being able to console her twin. Sarah had snuggled up to me, weepy eyed, when she suddenly sat bolt upright, a surprised look on her face.

"Daddy!" she shouted, causing everyone to look at us.

"She's alive!" she shouted joyously.

"What happened?" I asked. "Did she not really die?"

"She died. But he brought her back. Him." She looked directly at Cindi. "The same 'him' that you..." Jessica reached around and slapped her hand over Sarah's mouth, whispering urgently into her ear. Sarah looked embarrassed.

"Sorry. I forgot," she apologized, then smiled brilliantly at Cindi, giggling. 'I know a secret!' Sarah's expression plainly said.

"Stop teasing, Sarah," I admonished her. Everyone laughed when Sarah was bold enough to stick her tongue out at me. She still giggled every time she looked at Cindi, however.

As the night approached, I found myself looking forward to my time with Elizabeth. I had discovered the night before that a night with Elizabeth, even without sex, was a night to remember.

The change in her was remarkable. She was much more demonstrative, more cuddly and loving than she had ever been before. I was going to miss her. I thought that the separation was going to be hard on her too.

I headed for bed earlier than the others that night. I was a little tired with all that had been going on, and I figured I would need my sleep on the last night Elizabeth would be there. I knew I wouldn't be doing anything with her, unless she had changed her mind, but I had no idea who she was going to bring in with her, to keep me 'satisfied', as she put it. She was very serious about the idea that I was not going to suffer for 'affection' just because she had sworn off sex.

I wasn't surprised, therefore, when Elizabeth brought someone to bed with us. I was surprised that it was Amy and Cindi.

I love those two girls. I can't resist teasing them though.

"Oh, no! Not you two again!" I groaned good-naturedly, my hand over my eyes. Amy and Cindi grinned back at me.

"You know you love us," Amy quipped. "You better be nice, or you might not survive the night!"

That was exactly what I was afraid of!

"I invited them tonight because I want to make sure my two girls are going to take care of my husband while I'm gone," Elizabeth explained. "I've never seen them with you."

It was a long night. As expected, Elizabeth did nothing more than kiss me, although several of her kisses were quite passionate. I could tell the two girls were confused, as the night went on, that Elizabeth did nothing more with me. They didn't say much, as we were all quite busy.

There is something about Amy sitting on my face, as I lick and suck her to multiple orgasms, while Cindi rides my cock to her own orgasm, that discourages deep, meaningful conversations. It is a wonderful feeling to have both your cock and your face flooded with their juices as they lose control, crying out in passion. Of course, it's just as nice when they switch places. We finally ended up piled together in a heap, sleeping peacefully.

I woke up first in the morning. I slipped out of bed and took a quick shower. I had plans for Elizabeth on her last day with us, and I wanted to be fresh and clean. I hoped she wasn't going to fight me too much. I wanted our last day together to be one for both of us to remember.

I slipped back into bed after I had showered and cuddled up close to Elizabeth, spooning with her. Amy and Cindi were snuggled tightly together, as close as they could get without being one. It never failed to amaze me how sexy they looked as they slept together.

I kissed Elizabeth softly on the neck, paying special attention to that soft spot behind her ear, and the one on the front of her neck that I knew drove her crazy. She snuggled closer and whimpered softly in her sleep. I stroked her stomach gently, alternating between softly rubbing her nipples and slipping my hand between her legs, rubbing her mound. It didn't take long before she was soaking wet. I gently rubbed her clit, slipping my finger inside her at the same time and rubbing her g-spot. It wasn't long at all before she was on the verge of an orgasm, whimpering and trembling in her sleep. I looked around and saw my two pretty girls lying in bed with us, watching carefully what I was doing to their mother. They smiled happily at me as they saw me rapidly bringing her close to a shattering orgasm. Elizabeth was almost there when her eyes flew open and she looked at me in panic.

"Patrick! No! You promised! Please, no! I can't!" Elizabeth begged, as her body betrayed her and continued to respond to my ministrations. She pushed weakly against my hand. I stopped for a minute to kiss her deeply. She responded desperately, then pulled away.

"Please, honey, don't; you promised!" she whispered again, her heart obviously not in her words.

"No, Elizabeth, I didn't. I promised to support you in not having sex with me for the last two nights you had here. You never asked and I never promised about the last day. Don't you think you've carried this far enough?" I answered.

"No! I... I need to be punished! I have to be; I hurt you so badly! And the girls need to understand the lesson. Please, I want to do something right in my life. Please help me with this!" Elizabeth was frantic. I held her close, stroking her hair softly.

"Daddy?" Amy asked. "What's going on? Why doesn't Mommy want to do anything?" I could see the confusion in the girls' eyes as they tried to figure out what was happening.

I explained to Amy and Cindi what was going on; how Elizabeth felt she needed to be punished and that they needed to be taught that wrong actions had consequences that had to be realized. I saw the look of disbelief on Amy's face as she rolled her eyes, and I suddenly realized something was different.

"Elizabeth! I'm going to kick your ass if you keep up this nonsense! You know I can do it; I've done it many times before. What the hell is the matter with you, girl?"

"Amma-llia?" Elizabeth asked, surprise written all over her face.

'Amma-llia?' I echoed in my mind. Who was Amma-llia, and what did she do with my Amy?

"Yeah, me! I figured I better get in here and straighten you out before you screw up again. You're consistent, Lizzie, I'll say that for you," the stranger inhabiting my daughter's body said.

I had a sudden flash of brilliance, realizing that Amma-llia was the green energy personification of my Amy from Planet #3. Then I realized that flash of brilliance was Lisa. I guess she figured it was going to be too confusing for me not to know who was speaking.

"Yeah, and I thought I would help her, just in case she can't handle you alone," the daughter I knew as Cindi said. Only different.

"Cine-llia? Not both of you together? Oh God, what have I done wrong now?" Elizabeth whispered nervously. Amma-llia's face softened as she realized Elizabeth was truly upset.

"Nothing yet, Thimalla..."

Elizabeth's face turned pale and she interrupted Amy almost rudely.

"Don't call me that! That person is dead! I am not her! Don't ever call me that again! I am Elizabeth. Remember that. Thimalla is dead and will never be coming back!"

Amy looked sad.

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories. It's just... I knew you by that name for so long, I just forgot," Amy said apologetically. Elizabeth hugged her, letting her know there was no offense taken.

"So... what am I doing wrong now?" Elizabeth asked, a downcast, defeated look on her face.

"Elizabeth... you say you need to be punished for your 'transgressions'. First, that is unadulterated pony manure; but if you insist, so be it. You made honest mistakes. But it makes no sense to atone for your transgressions by repeating them," Amy told her, not unkindly.

"What do you mean?"

"One of your sins was to deny your husband the physical and emotional pleasure of your company for many years. So, you are punishing yourself by denying him the physical pleasure of your company during the last time you may ever see him? Is that fair to him? Is it fair to you? How does doing the same thing over again atone for anything? I'm having a little problem understanding this one, Liz. Help me out here, please," Amy responded.

"But... but I have to make sure Cindi and Amy understand the consequences of actions!" Elizabeth protested. Amy snorted.

"They learned that lesson years ago, taught to them very capably by Patrick, while you were gallivanting around in Ecuador or some such place. If you want to teach them a lesson, teach them about mercy and forgiveness. You paid your penalty by abstaining from pleasure with Patrick for two nights. Is that all there is? You do something wrong, pay the price, and die lonely and sad, with never a chance to be happy again? Why not show them today that after you have paid the penalty, joy follows as forgiveness and mercy are extended to the transgressor? Show them there is joy after punishment. That is a lesson they could use, not eternal sadness and damnation." Amy held Elizabeth's hand and squeezed it gently, trying to take the sting out of words, trying to show she stilled loved her and was still her best friend.