Chapter 3: Wednesday

[If I made any mistakes on the Japanese honorifics or spellings my apollogies]

Good morning Mrs. Abernathey,

Things are going ok. I'm sort of settling in. It's still weird to see people being the opposite sex but I'm slowly getting used to it. Except for Angie of course. My heart still races whenever I see her.

We did get to have a good talk last night though. Finally! Of course we talked mostly about her swap. I found out she'd wanted to surprise me. She did! She did apologize though, saying she hadn't meant to shock me so badly, or to hurt me by not telling me about it. I told her it was ok, but it was a bit of a shock. We both laughed at that. It was like having my sister back. Almost.

We talked about all kinds of things about her experiences. Like how she was nervous when she went in and how she felt when she woke up. Angie told me about how awkward it was at first being a guy. And how strange it felt and what it was like seeing herself for the first time. She told me about learning to pee standing up, which I didn't really want to know about. She told me about how guys clothing felt compared to girls'. I suppose that explains why she wears girls' boxer briefs instead of guys. I'm sure not complaining any. I prefer seeing her in them. Oh God! Stop thinking like that Marie!

We talked about shaving. She's glad she doesn't have to shave her legs and underarms any more, although she hates shaving her face. I teased her by saying she'd look good with a beard. She countered by saying "Just wait until a guy with a stubbley face goes down on you, and you'll be wanting him clean shaven too."

That made me turn bright red. It didn't help any when my imagination showed me a picture of Angie looking up at me from between my legs. My ears still feel like they're burning! Oh my, it's warm in here. Could someone turn the air conditioning on, please?

Still, I can't say I blame Angie any for hating shaving. I hate it too. At least shaving isn't a requirement for me. Angie has to shave since cheerleaders can't have hairy legs. I don't know why though. I've seen Angie when she hasn't shaved and she still looks good. And Brad never seemed to mind either way. Still those are the rules.

That of course led us to a more personal topic. Namely sex. Mostly her and sex. She told me about how different it felt to kiss. We talked about how "it" feels when "it" gets hard and how big "it" is and how it feels when she ... you know! She says it's different as a guy. Good, but different. She did complain about not being able to do it as many times though.

She also told me about how happy she was when Brad finally gave her a hand job although she complained he still wouldn't do anything else with it yet. She says he says he's not ready for that. I guess I'm not the only one having a hard time adjusting. Angie also told me how good it felt to use it. She'd had sex with another cheer at the beginning of practice welcome back party. That of course led her to talk about how it felt to ... um ... as a guy, compared to aaarrrggghhh ... YOU KNOW! As a girl. She said she'd both felt really good but she'd rather have it used on her. Then she said that at least as a guy she could do both. That conjured up all kinds of mental imagines. I'm sure you can imagine them, so I'm not going to describe them.

I did say she was more experienced than me, but I didn't know she was experienced like that! As a guy I mean. Although I can't really blame any girl for saying yes to her. I was ready to say yes myself! By that time I was really getting hot! When I started to fan myself, she laughed and said girls had a definite advantage when it comes to hiding arousal. At that point I had to agree with her, as I was noticing a very male bulge in her pjs. Not that I was hiding much. My face was flushed, my panties were soaked, and my nipples were poking holes in my pj top. That's when she asked if I wanted to see it.

I couldn't answer her. Part of me was stunned by the question, and part of me was afraid my tongue would fall out of my mouth and I'd start drooling. The answer was 'yes' though. Oh yes, did I want to see it! I still do! Don't tell anyone I said that!

I'm not sure I whether I was more grateful or frustrated when mom came in and said it was time for lights out. Yes, she still does that. It's 1 AM on school nights. Curfew is midnight. We're usually in bed before that though. Unless we're cramming, or Angie's filling me in on her date.

Angie said, "Okay mom" and Mom said "Good night girls", blew us both a kiss and turned the light off. Then Angie stood up and climbed up into her bed. What I saw when she did though made my mouth drop open. Ok it was dark, but still WOW! I know she said she was about average, but still her pj's poked out a lot! I couldn't help think that if she's average she'll kill me. And then I imagined her trying and Wow; it's hot in here! Could someone open a window please? Please?!

That's the bell! Thank God! I wonder if I have time to change?

Bye for now

PS

You can't tell any one Mrs. Abernathey! I mean it! It would be too embarrassing! And if Angie finds out about this I am so dead! So don't tell please!

Hi Mrs. Abernathey,

I'm home thankfully. Today kind of went down hill since my last entry. I was going to read during lunch but I ended up writing Misa instead. I miss her a lot. I talked to her the night before but I guess that made me miss her more. It made me miss Papa-ue and Miss Yoriko-sama too.

Misa-chan and I got to be really close. Both our families did. They kind of like became a third family for me. Misa-chan and I even started calling each other nessa. That's Japanese for sister. She really feels like a sister to me too. Just like Angie does. Misa-chan's like Angie in a lot of ways too. They're both beautiful, smart, athletic, and popular. She's also very warm and caring. Just like Angie.

We spent a lot of time together. It was great. We could share anything with each other. Some things I haven't even shared with Angie. Mostly because I didn't want Angie to worry, but some because I promised Misa-chan I wouldn't tell. Like the name of the guy she kind of liked.

I was surprised when we got there, and learned we wouldn't be staying in a hotel like I thought we would be. Instead we stayed with the Yamato's. And Misa-chan didn't just share her home with us but she also shared her room with me. I thought I'd be in a guestroom but Misa-chan insisted. She'd even moved her things around so I'd have a place to put mine. I think that was so nice of her. It really did help me settle in. I usually have trouble at first. Still Misa-chan and her family made things great for us.

Misa-chan was also a big help with translating for me and helping me learn the language. I'm still not very good at it despite all her help though. She also helped teach me about the culture and helped teach me to cook. Also how to get around to places I'd need to go and help me at school. Unfortunately neither of us anticipated how bad things would be there.

The school we went to is a private school that was populated by a lot of rich stuck-up no good spoiled brats! Basically it was like Heather and her groupies and all the other stuck-up popular kids here times 100. I was just a stupid gaijin (foreigner) to them. To say they pretty much made my life miserable would be an understatement.

Of course they never did it around Misa-chan. They all worshiped her. She was nice enough to never take advantage like the others though. She was nice and kind to everyone. Unfortunately she couldn't be with me all the time. And those she asked to help me didn't. Most thought she was misguided; that I was just some pushy Yankee that forced my self on her. And that I needed to be put in my place. Others were too scared to do anything to stop them.

Things went from cruel pranks and teasing, to pushing and shoving, and got worse from there. It got so bad I would cry myself to sleep at night. Misa-chan tried to help but her friends lied to her. And things got even worse. A lot worse. I think it even shocked them by how much worse it got.

The last thing they tried was to get me expelled for being extremely insulting and disrespectful to the lunch lady. It wasn't planned. They just took advantage of the opportunity. I'd gone to ask for seconds and they saw a chance to get rid of me and took it. What they hadn't counted on was an already seriously ticked off lunch lady and how she'd react.

I was trying unsuccessfully to ask for seconds when one of the "kindly" translated for me. She was so outraged by what he'd said I'd said that she backhanded me, knocking me to the floor. Then she started beating me with a ladle. They were all stunned by it that they let her hit me several times before they pulled her away me.

The other thing they didn't plan for was me quietly taking off my uniform tie and vest and leaving. They thought I'd yell back at her. That pretty much flushed their plan down the toilet.

They also didn't plan on me collapsing at the school gate and needing to go to the hospital. I had to have stitches on my head and a cast on my left arm and then physical therapy for my hand after. I still can't make a tight a fist as I used too but it's getting better. Not that I'm planning to punch anyone anytime soon.

The other thing they never planned on was that Misa-chan would be so offended and upset that she would leave school the very next day. I heard later that she'd really tore into them and that half the class was in tears when she left. The other half was struck dumb with shock.

Daddy of course went ballistic and Papa-ue was quietly furious. Even Miss Yoriko looked like she could spit fireballs. I'm not sure who was scarier. When the school representatives, consisting of officials from the faculty and student body came to visit I thought they were going to be handed their heads. Oh Miss Yoriko is Papa-ue's aid and looks after Misa. She looked after me as well while I was there.

To their credit the school officials admitted right away that they screwed up. They said they'd been aware of the problems but they didn't know they were that bad and that they'd hoped they'd work themselves out once the others got to know me. That obviously didn't happen.

They apologized for failing me and Misa-chan and our parents. They said that those responsible would be disciplined severely. I found out later that some students had been expelled and other asked not to return after the end of the term.

I think I surprised all of them by asking them not to fire the lunch lady. She was as much a victim in this as I was.

They conferred among themselves and then bowed low to me and said, "It shall be as you wish Marie-sama"

That surprised me. They bowed and spoke to me like I was ranked high above them. To do that to me was a big compliment and sign of respect. They also verbally complimented me, not just about how I handled the attack but everything. I won't put it all down, as I don't want to seem like I've got a swelled head or anything. I'm not sure I agree with everything they said anyhow. I left because I was tired of it all and it just felt wrong to fire the lunch lady to me. Still it was nice of them to say.

Dad, Misa-chan, Papa-ue and Miss Yoriko were impressed as well. I wanted to hide under the pillow by the time the nurse finally chased them out.

One thing they didn't do was to try to talk Misa-chan and I into returning to school. I had to give them points for that. That would have just made us more upset. They did say though, that should we choose to come back, that it would be to a completely different atmosphere. They also said that they would provide any help we needed with transferring to another school or hiring of private tutors. They even said they'd pay the tuition. It costs money to go to school in Japan. Even Public schools. They also paid for all the medical and therapy bills.

We did eventually go back but not for a couple months. And not until after I was feeling better and Misa-chan's true friends had visited and apologized to us and made up with her. The ones who weren't real friends we never saw again.

(Sigh)

Thinking about it always makes feel sad. Still it wasn't all bad. I did make some friends after all that. Megumi is really sweet and Chisa's so outgoing. Ren is quiet but so nice. Soske is strange but nice. Kione is a flirt but mostly harmless.

And school was better. There wasn't any of the name-calling or mean nasty pranks that there were before. There were still pranks but they were in fun not malice.

And there were a lot of good times. Like the school summer festival, and all the different class trips, Even regular classes were better. And our trip to the beach and the hot springs was really fun. And no the hot springs were not co-ed.

By the time we had to go I was sorry I had to leave. I'm hoping I can go back and visit soon. And I hope Misa-chan and the others can visit me. I miss them.

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

After I wrote Misa-chan I was kind of feeling low and kind of homesick. Which is a really unpleasant feeling when you are home. There's just too many differences to really feel like home though. I finished my lunch and went to class.

Classes didn't help either. I found out I've got a history test I'm not ready for on Friday. Miss Ling wants me to write a paper contrasting Japanese and American drawing styles. She says it's extra credit but I know she'll bug me about it until I turn it in. To top that off I got pulled out of class early to report to the councilor's office.

It turns out Miss Miller gave me an incomplete in Sex Ed last year since I didn't take the practical exam. A practical exam? In Sex Ed?

If she says I have to demonstrate anything I'm taking the "F".

After arranging to take the test Friday at lunch I went to PE. We were supposed to have volleyball today. I say supposed as I missed it. They still had it. I can't say I really missed it though. I mean, I like volleyball and all, I just don't like playing with Candice. I think she's even more of a danger to us unpopulars at volleyball than she is at dodge ball. She doesn't get to hit us as often but she hits us harder. She does it by jumping and spiking the ball at us. And she spikes it really, really hard.

I heard she only gave three black eyes and one bloody nose today. That's low for her. I guess she was disappointed I wasn't there to be aimed at. I can't say I'm sorry about that. Not even one little bit.

The reason I missed class was because I started crying in the locker room and Miss Clark had me go lay down in her office.

I'd just started to change clothes when it happened. I found out there were boys in the locker room changing with us. Only the boys were girls. (Sneaky rotten trick if you ask me.)

I usually drag my feet changing, as I don't want others to watch. I'd just pulled my top over my head and lowered my arms when this "girl" a couple lockers down from asked for some help. "She" was struggling to undo her bra. One of the hooks wouldn't come undone.

I reach out and undid it and she said "Thanks. I hate this bra. I asked my mom for one that hooks in the front but she said I needed to learn."

That set off warning bells in my head. Sure Mom said that to me too but that was back in junior high. This girl was bigger than I am. And just learning how to use a bra? Unfortunately I dismissed the warning bells. I mean she could have just been raised by a hippie or a bra burning feminist.

I told her to try taking her arms out of the shoulder straps and then twisting the band around until the hooks were in front.

She thought that was a great idea. Then things got weird.

She said "Nice breasts. I wish mine were your size."

That in itself isn't weird. Extremely unusual, and embarrassing, yes but not weird. Well, maybe a little weird. Still it was a nice compliment coming from Miss Double Dee. It's what came after that that was really weird.

"I used to like big boobs until I got them. I never imagined what a pain they'd be. Running is so painful! I can't run at all without a couple of sports bras. These things just go all over the place!" (Note to self: Thank God, again, for the sports bra!)

And then there's all the other problems no one told me about. Like the constant wiggling and jiggling. And the weight! Ugh! And every time I bend down I feel like these things are going to pull me over. "You're a natural girl right?"

'Yes?'

"How long did it take you to get used to them?"

I said 'Uh, gradually I guess?' And it's the truth. It's not like they grew over night. Although at times I wish they had.

I was totally surprised by the direction of the conversation had taken. It didn't help any that she'd cupped her hands under her breasts and was now bouncing them at me.

Miss Double D continued on. "I've been a girl three months now and I don't think these things have ever stopped moving.

The brave part of my mind thought ' ... What?!' The rest of my mind froze in horror as I realized that I was standing in front of a boy, who was in the Program, without a shirt on. That I was standing in the "ladies" locker room, where it's supposed to be safe for women to undress, and I'm talking with a "boy". That I'm standing, in front of a boy, with only my bra covering my breasts. A sight which only my future boyfriend should see. If he's lucky.

I wanted to cover myself and scream but I couldn't. I was frozen with shock. There was no place private from men anymore. They were among us. They were us. Can I panic now?

He continued to talk and the brave part of my mind kept answering in my head but the rest of me was too stunned to even cover up.

"And don't even get me started on the whole eye contact thing. Even my best friend talks to my boobs instead of me. I have to keep telling him 'Hey I'm up here!' (Been there done that.) How do you handle guys always staring at your chest? (By blocking their view and telling them I'm up here. And by the way, I'm up here!) The last was because this boy was doing what he was just complaining about by talking to my breasts.

In case you missed it, those are my thoughts in the ( ). I didn't actually speak them but they're what I thought. Well they're what part of me thought. The rest of me was to shocked to think.

Now here's where it got really freaky.

"Say how do you handle your periods? (I'd avoid them if possible, but since I can't, Midol and lots of sleep.) Don't you just hate them? (Is that a stupid question?) I sure do. I thought I was dying the first time I had one. (Ditto. And every time since I wish I was put out of my misery.) Do you use pads or tampons? (Yes.) Are you still a virgin? (Yes, and you're not going to change that.) Do you still have your hymen? (Yes, and you're not getting it.) I popped mine using my mom's dildo. (Eeeuuwww! That is so wrong!) It hurt, but not as much as I'd heard. Do you think it'll hurt for you? (Grrr.)

I thought that as I know it's going to hurt my first time. A lot! Our doctor has suggested letting her make the opening in my hymen bigger but I haven't made up my mind yet. I'm in no hurry to be that exposed again. Besides how do you explain that? No matter how you phrase it, it still comes down to my doctor taking it. That sounds wrong and hardly romantic. And possibly illegal. It isn't unless they really do "it" but still it sounds bad.

Then "She" asked if I masturbated and if I could orgasm. "She" said it used to be easy for her to orgasm before but now she was having trouble doing it. She said it felt good but she couldn't get there. Then she asked how I did it. My thoughts at the time were (I really didn't need to know that.) followed by (I'm not telling you that!) That was followed by her/him asking, "What's it like to give head? Do you swallow?" (... )

Yep. The rest of my mind had checked out. And for your information, I haven't and I don't know if I would or not. And I certainly wouldn't tell a stranger that any way.

Fortunately I was literally saved by the bell, and by Miss Clark. The bell rang and then Miss Clark yelled "Hey Dave, speed it up or you'll do extra laps!"

Double-D Dave muttered "Oh crap!", yanked on a couple sports bras and a pair of shorts. Then he said "C'ya" as he adjusted himself and then ran for class.

After he was gone Miss Clark came over and said, "Marie are you ok? You look pale and you're trembling."

That's when I started crying. (Can you blame me?) Miss Clark was holding me in an instant and lowered me to the floor slowly. I'd have collapsed to my knees if she hadn't.