Chapter 9

I went back the way I'd come, going around the block, to wander in the house through the front door. My mother was in the kitchen, and had breakfast ready. She came over and sniffed in my face.

"Well, at least you're not drunk," she said darkly.

"You know I don't drink," I said, wounded.

"You smell like perfume," she said, looking at me.

"I met a girl," I said.

"I don't want to know!" she said holding up her hand. "There are some things a mother doesn't want to know."

I grinned.

"You will come back here ... after Americorps?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "For a while, at least. I have no idea what I'll want to do then."

"Good," she said. "You'll call sometimes too?"

"Yes, Mother," I droned.

"Sit down and eat. Who knows when you'll get a decent meal again." She bustled back into the kitchen.

I found out I could take a one week leave, when I had completed six months in the program. I didn't tell Gloria. I wanted to surprise her. I had to tell my parents, because I needed someone to pick me up at the airport, and because I couldn't just show up out of nowhere. Not for them, anyway. I could have taken a cab, and surprised them all, but I elected not to do that. I had no idea how I'd get away from my family to spend time with Gloria, and that was the most important reason I took the leave in the first place. I decided to play it by ear, and hope for the best.

So, I went home on leave with a secret.

When I got there, I found out I wasn't the only one with a secret.

My dad picked me up, and chatted about this and that on the way home. Mom was fine, and Suzy was turning into a young woman, and that was making him nervous. His job was fine. Not much had changed since I'd left. He said how excited Mom was that I was going to be back for a while. Stuff like that.

It was my mother who dropped the bombshell.

She had a meal ready for us when Dad and I got home. It was just like old times as we all sat down to eat. I had missed my mother's cooking, and told her so. She beamed.

They wanted to know all about Americorps, even though I'd reported what I was doing on the phone.

"It's the best thing I could have done," I said. "You remember how I used to try to do good deeds, and screwed them all up? Not any more. I get to do them every day, and there's nothing like it," I said.

My mother snorted. "Well, it's a good thing you went off to do them somewhere else."

I looked at her curiously.

She got a superior look on her face. "If you'd have stayed here, you might have gotten caught up in a scandal," she said.

"What scandal?" I asked.

She smiled that tight smile that meant "I told you so" and said: "That Mrs. Wilson ... that you did a good deed for that time? She went and got herself pregnant!" She sniffed. "She's six months along! I KNEW she was a hussy ... a divorced woman like that, inviting a young man into her house, and if you had stayed here, you might have..."

She broke off, not because she was interrupted, but because I wasn't there to talk to any more. I jumped up out of my seat and hit the back door running. It was just habit. I had usually gone out our back door, to get to the alley, to get to her back door, and that's what I did now. Habit made me bang on the door before I opened it too. I don't know what I was thinking. I should have called or something before I barged in. Luckily, she was in the kitchen.

She turned, a look of panic on her face as the back door opened. Panic gave way to astonishment, as she saw me, which turned to relief.

"BOBBY!" she screamed. It was loud. I think she was ready to scream because of the panic of someone bursting in, but it all came out in my name.

She dropped the spoon she'd been stirring something with, and started toward me. Her hug was fierce, but there was something in the way. I pushed her back, and stared at her bulging belly. She looked so much the same, and at the same time so completely different, that I couldn't process it.

"What are you DOING here?" she cried, tears running down her cheeks.

"I got leave," I stammered. "I wanted to surprise you." I couldn't tear my eyes off her swollen abdomen. "My mother said you were pregnant."

Her hands came to my face and made me look into hers.

"I'm sorry, honey," she said, beginning to bawl. "I didn't want you to worry. I know I should have told you, but I was afraid you'd ... I don't know ... run away from there ... or do something silly."

"You're pregnant," I sighed.

I dropped to my knees, so her bulge was right in front of my face. She reached and pulled her T shirt up, baring her distended flesh.

"That's what happens when you let a Boy Scout do good deeds for you," she said softly. "You got under my skin ... see?"

"You should have told me," I gasped, running my hands over her belly.

"I knowwww," she moaned. "I was worried about what you'd think."

I looked up at her. "What in the world are you talking about?" I asked.

"Some men don't want children," she said.

"So what were you going to do?" I asked, standing back up. "Have our baby and give it away or something, before I got back?" I was incredulous.

"No," she swatted my shoulder. "Of course not. But I just thought that you might do better if she was already born when you got home."

"She?"

"I had an ultra sound," she said. She ran her own hands alongside mine. "They're pretty sure she's a girl, because she doesn't have a penis, like her daddy."

Joy erupted in my heart, and I thought I'd pass out.

"This is GREAT!" I shouted. Then it occurred to me that some women don't want to have children too. "Isn't it?" I searched her face.

She smiled, and the relief I felt left my knees weak.

"This is great," she said, with dignity.

"You have to marry me!" I blurted.

"OK," she said. "I'll have to give you lessons on being more romantic, but OK."

It was that easy. I asked, and she accepted. Everything was in accord.

Then discord raised its ugly head.

I wanted to get married immediately. She flat refused. Her reasons were all quite logical, and understandable. She couldn't throw a wedding together in a week. There were papers to file, and that would take time. My parents had to be told, and she wanted their blessing.

That last one made my gut hurt.

"There will be plenty of time, when you get back, to do that," she said.

"But what about the baby?" I asked.

"I'll put you on the birth certificate as the father," she said. "If you want me to."

"What?! Why in the WORLD would I NOT want you to?" I gasped.

"As soon as this baby is born, I guarantee you that at least six hospital employees will take a little peek at that birth certificate, just to find out who knocked up the town trollop," she said evenly. "And the word will get back to your parents that your name is on it. Is THAT how you want to start a family?"

"I don't CARE!" I said, my voice surly. "I'm PROUD you're carrying our baby!"

"Of course you are," she said, kissing me gently. "Your loyalty is one of the reasons I love you so much. But why beat your head against the wall when you don't have to?"

"I don't understand," I moaned.

"When we get married, you can adopt the baby," she said. She made it sound so simple.

I thought about that. I thought about her, here, all alone, with no friends, pregnant. I thought about what people were saying about her. I knew my mother wasn't alone. Nobody ever talked to Gloria at any of the picnics. I had had to become a lot more assertive in my role in Americorps. I had to be able to give orders, and make things happen. I also had to take the initiative, sometimes, and think outside the box. I could do that, and that was one of the things that made me good at what I did there.

"No," I said. I said it with conviction.

"What?" she asked.

"I will not have you here, alone, with no friends, going through this."

She looked astonished.

"But you can't stay here, and I can't go back with you. My doctor is here. Everything is here. I already have her crib and all kinds of other things!"

"Come with me," I ordered.

"Where?" she asked, confused.

"We're going to tell my parents about all this right now," I said.

Her eyes went round. "Bobby, honey, I don't think that's a good idea," she said, her voice shaky.

"I will NOT have you here, alone, with nobody to help you. That's my mother and father's granddaughter in there," I stroked her belly again, "and they are going to be here to help you if you need it." My mind was made up.

She argued with me ... all the way out the back door ... through the yard, and out the back gate. Don't ask my why I went that way. It was habit. She argued with me as I pulled her along through the alley, and into my back yard. She was still arguing with me, almost in a panic, by then, when I pulled her through the back door into my parents' kitchen.

Suzy was still sitting at the table. My parents, frozen by shock when I jumped up and ran out, hadn't known what to do. My dad eventually followed me, but couldn't find me. It never occurred to him to check Gloria Wilson's back gate. They had been at a loss, wondering what had happened, and were trying to figure out what to do, when I dragged Gloria into their kitchen.

Suzy's eyes widened, and then her face took on a look of interest ... almost anticipation.

My father's face showed only shock.

My mother's face went from surprise, to shock, to distaste, and then to horrified curiosity.

"I believe you all know Gloria," I said calmly. "At least you know OF her, since none of you has taken the time to actually meet her, and get to know her."

"What are you doing?" my mother's voice sounded strained, like she was seeing a ghost, and was trying not to freak out.

"I got to know her," I said. "In fact, I fell in love with her." I put my hand in her back and propelled her forward. She resisted all the way.

"Bobby ... don't," she whined.

I got behind her and slid my hands around, to rest on her swollen belly.

"This baby is ours," I said, over her shoulder. "Mine ... and Gloria's"

I felt Gloria shaking. She couldn't take it. As strong as she'd been for all the time she'd lived in Clinton ... as high as she had held her head, when no one would befriend her, and everyone assumed the worst about her ... as stubborn as she had been to hold on to her new start at life ... she couldn't take standing in front of my parents, with my hands on our baby, under her skin.

She turned, and buried her face in my chest, crying softly.

"Th-th-th-that's insane!" my mother squeaked. Her face began to screw up into the face that I knew would be shouting very soon.

"It's NOT insane!" I shouted. "It's what happens when two people fall in love. It's what happened with you and Dad ... TWICE!" I said loudly. "Why is it insane for us, if it wasn't insane for you?"

"But she's ... she's ... she's..." my mother babbled.

"She's a woman," I finished for her. "She likes to put together picture puzzles. She reads People magazine. She goes shopping. She bakes pies." I stared at my mother. "She's just a woman, and I'm a man, and we fell in love and made a baby. We didn't mean to make a baby, but it happened, and I'm VERY happy about it!"

"You raped my baby?" gasped my mother.

"I'm NOT your baby," I shouted. "I WASN'T your baby when I turned eighteen and we were finally able to do what we both wanted to do. I'm going to MARRY, her, Mom!"

"You can't marry HER!" my mother moaned.

"Claire!" My father spoke for the first time. The warning in his voice was crystal clear.

"But..." she started to argue.

Dad simply grabbed her wrist, and dragged her toward their bedroom. She struggled and squealed all the way, spending half her time looking back at us, with horror on her face, and the other half berating my father for dragging her away. The door slammed. They started shouting.

Suzy had watched the whole thing with her fork suspended halfway between her plate, and her mouth. With a jerk, she lifted the fork the rest of the way, and took the bite.

"You shouldn't have done this!" moaned Gloria into my chest.

"She's right," said Suzy.

Gloria looked over at my sister. As far as I knew, they had never spoken a word to each other.

"I'm Suzy," said my sister. "He's my brother."

"Hi," said Gloria, her voice as high pitched as I'd ever heard it.

"Is it really his?" asked Suzy, her face straight.

Gloria stiffened in my arms.

I snarled. "Knock it off, you little brat."

Gloria pushed me away, and turned to my sister.

"Yes, it's really his. I know this, because I didn't have sex for two years before I had it with your brother, and I haven't had sex since he left for Americorps."

My sister didn't bat an eye. "Cool," she said. "That means the baby will be my ... what?"

"Your niece," said Gloria.

Suzy's eyes got wide. "Wow!" she said, awe in her voice. "I'm going to be thirteen, and I'll be an aunt! That's awesome!"

"I'm glad you're happy about it," said Gloria, a little confused as to how to talk to my sister.

"I've always thought you were really pretty," said Suzy.

Then, like she was starving, she went right back to eating, and ignored us both.

Gloria looked at me, an eyebrow raised. At least she wasn't crying any more. I shrugged. I didn't understand my sister any better than she did.

Gloria wanted to go back home, but I knew my dad pretty well. That tone of voice meant that he was insisting on something, and he wouldn't stop until Mom caved in. It had been that way all my life. Mom ruled the roost, until she went too far, and Dad put his foot down. When he did that, things got jerked back into line, and then he let her be in charge again, until it happened again. He didn't do that very often, which is probably why she always caved. He picked his battles well, and she knew that, deep down. Still, her opinion of Gloria was kind of like that of a racist. It didn't have to have any factual basis, or justification. It was just there, and it was ingrained in a way that made it stain the soul. I wasn't at all sure my father would be able to get his way this time.

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The Good Deed Blues

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