Chapter 25

Ensign Powell saw Admiral Kamp headed his way pushing a baby buggy. He looked around trying to figure out some way to leave without looking like he was avoiding his boss. When James waved to him, he knew that it was too late. There was going to be no way to avoid him.

"Hello, Ensign Powell," James said.

"Hello, sir," Ensign Powell said afraid to look inside the baby buggy. There was no way to tell what he would see. He said, "I see that you are taking Junior for a walk."

"That's right. He's been such a good little boy. I haven't heard a sound out of him ever since I left my quarters," James said.

Ensign Powell looked in the baby buggy and frowned. He said, "It is empty."

"Oh?" James said looking inside. He smiled and said, "You're right. I thought he was a little quiet today."

"Where is he?" Ensign Powell asked.

"You know, I don't have a clue. Maybe he crawled out when we were in the Quatyl Playroom. I dropped Starman over there," James said scratching his chin thoughtfully. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Oh well, he'll show up eventually."

"Aren't you worried?" Ensign Powell asked before it dawned on him that James had to be joking. Even James wasn't that bad of a father.

"Not really. His superhero powers are starting to manifest," James said.

Ensign Powell snorted and said, "Superhero powers?"

"He's still a little young yet. All he has are the basic Superhero powers — invisibility, x-ray vision, super speed, super cry, and super-stink diapers," James said in a very matter of fact manner.

"I'd believe the super-stink diapers part," Ensign Powell said. He had been in the same room when James had changed Junior's diaper. The odor had been brain numbing. It was hard to believe that such a small baby could create such a strong smell.

There was a sudden little bit of crying from inside the buggy. James went over and lifted Junior out of the buggy. Holding the little baby, he said, "There you are. Poor Ensign Powell was beginning to get worried."

"How?" Ensign Powell asked staring at the baby.

Grinning, James asked, "Didn't I just tell you that he has basic Superhero powers including the ability to turn invisible?"

Ensign Powell had looked inside the baby buggy and seen that Junior wasn't in it. Then he realized that the Great Ploppertui had something to do with it. He shuddered and said, "You've been around that magician too much."

"Would you define too much," James said. He rocked Junior a little in his arms and the baby calmed down. James whispered to him, "Don't let the mean man get you down. He doesn't have a sense of humor."

"You're going to twist that innocent little child into being just like you," Ensign Powell said. He wondered how much longer he was going to be working for James. He had visions of growing old and dying of a heart attack when something jumped out at him when he opened his desk drawer.

"Yes," James said.

"There are laws against that sort of thing," Ensign Powell said.

Surprised, James asked, "Really?"

"If there aren't, there should be," Ensign Powell said.

James looked down at the little infant in his hands and said, "I wish that your mother hadn't made me make all of those promises. I'm sure that a good vomit stroll right about now would be very entertaining."

"That's so... ," Ensign Powell started to say, but he failed to find an acceptable description to finish the sentence.

"Fun?" James asked.

"Sick," Ensign Powell answered.

The ship was in orbit around the Dactite home planet. It had been decided that since the next major battle with the Chitiniodians wouldn't be for a couple of years that it would be a great gesture for James to visit the home worlds of the various servant races. The basic idea was that James would stop and give a nice little speech thanking each planet for their contributions to the war effort. Of course, James had a completely different take on the matter.

Holding Junior in his arms, James looked out the portal at the planet below. Whereas Earth was a beautiful blue marble floating in space, this planet was more of a jade sphere. The majority of the planet was covered by a thick lush jungle. There were veins of pale blue that marked the courses of monster sized rivers. As interesting as the view was, James was excited by the fact that he'd be one of the first humans to step on the planet. He pointed to the planet and said, "Just think Junior, we get to be the first people to pull a practical joke here."

Junior's reaction was to gurgle and stick a thumb in his mouth. Ann said, "I don't think the idea is for you to engage in practical jokes across the known galaxy."

"Why else would they send me?" James asked with a grin.

"Sir, you are representing the entire Human Race," Ensign Powell said making a final attempt to convince James not to do something so weird that they'd lose an ally.

Starman said, "That is true."

"Well, we don't want the Dactites to think that we don't know how to have fun," James said.

"Humans know how to have fun. What you call fun is something else entirely," Starman said.

James said, "I thought the invisible baby was funny."

"That was a good one," Ensign Powell admitted. He slapped a hand over his mouth almost as soon as the words were out of it. The last thing he wanted to do was to encourage James in his jokes.

"See," James said with a smile.

"Oh God, I've been corrupted," Ensign Powell said.

Laughing, James said, "It isn't that bad."

"So you say," Ensign Powell said.

James looked over at Ensign Powell and saw that he really looked depressed. Deciding that it was time to cheer him up, he said, "Well, I guess now is as good of a time as any."

"For what?" Ensign Powell asked suspiciously.

"I'm giving you a raise," James said.

"There's no such thing," Ensign Powell said. "Pay is based on rank and years in service."

"I kind of noticed that, but I'm an admiral and can do pretty much what ever I want," James said.

Shaking his head, Ensign Powell said, "The military doesn't work that way."

"Oh," James said looking at Ensign Powell with a grin. That was one of the ensign's favorite sayings. He held out a hand and said, "I take it you don't want these."

Ensign Powell looked down at James' hand despite the fact that there could have been anything in it. He fully expected to see a plastic spider, or something worse, come flying at him. Eyes going wide, he asked, "You're promoting me to Lieutenant?"

"Yes, I am," James said.

"Oh," Ensign Powell said surprised by the promotion.

"Well, aren't you going to take your new insignia, Lieutenant Powell?" James asked.

Lieutenant Powell reached out to take the insignia from James' hand. Of course, James moved his hand out of the way. The next thing Lieutenant Powell knew, he was chasing James' hand around trying to grab the insignia. Finally, he stopped and held out a hand. He said, "Please."

"Sure," James said with a smile. He dropped the insignia in Lieutenant Powell's hand. The pair of Lieutenant bars gleamed in the light of space station.

Lieutenant Powell looked at the insignia and, feeling a little emotional about the moment, said, "If you'll excuse me, I'll put these on."

"You know, I wanted to wait until you were wearing your spacesuit. I always wanted to see what happens when you pin something on a spacesuit. I kind of imagine it would be like popping a balloon," James said.

"Very funny, sir," Lt. Powell said.

Ann said, "Congratulations, Lieutenant Powell."

Although it would be hard to say that the Humans had liberated the Dactites from the Quatyl, life had definitely taken a turn for the better. For some reason, James had been given much of the credit. The supreme leader of the Dactites waited anxiously for the human delegation to exit from the space shuttle. This was a very momentous occasion and he hoped that they made a good impression.

He had seen pictures of the humans, but that didn't give too much information other than how they looked. Every Dactite who had met a human had commented that they were huge. They were so large that there wasn't a single building on the entire planet that they would fit inside. The visitors were going to have to sleep in the shuttle craft. He turned to his advisor and asked, "Are they really three times our height?"

"Yes," the advisor answered.

The supreme leader said, "You are sure that they are not offended that we had no room to offer them."

"Yes. They are aware of that fact," the advisor answered. The normal rules of hospitality would have visitors of importance stay in the official guest quarters, but the ceilings were only a little over four feet high. For a two foot tall Dactite, that was a very high ceiling. For a six foot tall human, it would be torturous.

The supreme leader was a little nervous about the meeting. He had heard the stories about the odd behavior occasionally exhibited by the leader of the human delegation and had no idea what was going to happen. Still, this was the human credited with changing the relations between Quatyl and Dactite. The supreme leader turned to one of his advisors and asked, "What can I expect from the leader of the human delegation?"

"Anything," the advisor replied. Dactite scholars were still studying the private war between Einke Klein and James. It was accepted that he was slightly insane, but not in a bad way.

"I was afraid that you were going to say that," the supreme leader said. He was very worried about this visit. The entire planet was watching this first meeting.

"The Dactites who work with him like him. They say that his thinking is unique, but that his work is good," the advisor said.

The supreme leader looked over at the present that was to be given to the leader of the delegation and shook his head. He asked, "Are you sure this is an appropriate gift?"

"Yes, sir," the advisor answered in an uncertain tone of voice. He could understand the supreme leader's apprehension. It was a very strange gift to give a visiting official. He added, "That is what he said he wanted."