Chapter 27: A Walk in the Snow

Ever since the All-State selections had been announced, my parents had fallen back onto their old parenting ways, pretty much letting me be a teenaged kid. As long as I didn't get myself into trouble again (or found myself being dragged, kicking and screaming, into trouble, such as what Jake did to me), and as long as I kept my grades up, they were willing to pretty much stay off my back.

All during the playoffs, from the conference tournament all the way to the state playoffs, Molly was acting funny around me. It was as if she was distracted or something. And to tell the truth, all during that month I was plenty busy. The homework load didn't ease up just because we were still playing soccer and our games were no longer local affairs. We were traveling longer distances to play and the further we got in the tournaments, the further it seemed we had to travel. As a result, I didn't have any time on the weekends to spend with Molly, and during the week all I could spare was a quick phone call occasionally.

She was still really friendly during school, but it seemed like she was distant and distracted whenever I called her. Monosyllable answers to my questions, no prompting from her to help the conversation along, and uncomfortable silences were the norm. It got so that I didn't like to call her at night, content just to see her at school instead.

Finally though, the soccer season ended. I had a weekend free, so when I saw her at lunch on Wednesday, I asked her if she could do something on Friday night.

"Ummm... I don't know for sure yet," she evaded. "Call me tonight, okay, Sean? Look, I've got to go. I've got a meeting set up with my adviser. I'll talk to you later."

She abruptly got up from the table and threw the rest of her lunch away and left the cafeteria, leaving me feeling awfully alone among a sea of students.

That night, after dinner, I dialed her number. Josh answered the phone.

"Dude, what did you do?" he asked.

I was puzzled. "What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Man, she's really in outer space tonight. She was snapping at all of us at dinner, and even yelled at the dog. I laughed at her when she did that and almost got my head handed to me."

"Great. I wonder what the hell is going on?"

"Well," he said, "I hope you can figure it out before she gets on the phone. But you did something to piss her off, Sean, bet on it."

There was a loud clunk as he let the handset drop. Great, I thought to myself. I'm in trouble, and I don't know why.

I heard Josh calling Molly to the phone. A few moments later, she picked up the handset.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mol. It's me."

"Oh. Hi."

Silence. Uh-oh.

"Um, you said I should call," I prompted.

"Oh, yes. That's right, I did." She took a deep breath. "Sean, I need to talk about something, okay?"

"Sure, go ahead," I said. My heart started beating a little faster, and my stomach was doing tricky things. I wished I had gotten myself some water or something to drink before I dialed. Maybe that would have helped calm me down.

"It's about us, Sean. I think we've got problems we're not talking about."

"What problems, Molly? Besides, we're talking now, aren't we?" I knew they were weak arguments, but they were all I had at the moment. I was still trying to wade through the minefield of this conversation.

"We haven't been talking before now though. I'm just not comfortable right now with where we are, Sean. I know you've felt it, too. Ever since the costume party..."

"Wait a minute. The costume party? You mean the one at your house?"

"Of course the one at my house." She sounded exasperated with me. "What other costume party have you gone to? Never mind, I don't want to know."

"Molly..."

"Shut up for a minute, Sean, and let me work this out. Ever since the costume party, when I saw you kissing Jake's little sister..."

"Molly..."

"I saw you kissing Kayla, Sean. And you both looked like you were enjoying it."

"Molly..."

"And you were both enjoying it. I can't get that image out of my mind, Sean."

"But you kissed Scotty..."

"Didn't you hear me? I said you were both enjoying it. That's the part that has been really bothering me, Sean." I could hear the tears just starting on the other end of the phone. My stomach dropped into my toes.

"Look, Molly..."

"Just let me talk for a minute, okay?" She took a deep breath to get herself back under control. I tried it, too, but it didn't work for me. "I'm afraid you're not taking this relationship very seriously, Sean. I thought you loved me. I thought you were committed to me. But ever since that party, I haven't been able to convince myself that you are in this with me one hundred percent." She stopped again. I could just detect a sob trying to work its way out of her and into the open. "I think we're going to have to stop seeing each other for awhile," she whispered.

"Molly..." But I had nothing to say. She had said it all. When I didn't respond, the sob that had been waiting for its opportunity finally escaped. Without another word, she set the telephone down and broke the connection. No slamming it down in anger, just a quiet click. The thunderous sound of that click seemed to drop an entire wall of bricks onto me.

Shit.

The whole next day at school, I walked around numb. At lunchtime, Molly found somewhere else to sit. I ate with Jake and Eric and Keisha and Toby, but I just couldn't track any of their conversations. I thought Josh had probably clued in Jake about Molly and me, so he at least was a little sympathetic. Even so, I really didn't want to spill out my personal problems to the table, so I endured some good-natured ribbing about my long face. It was a long day, but at least I could go home right after school and try to bury myself in homework. It was one of the few times I was grateful to my teachers for piling it on.

Friday was a little better. I had gotten over the shock of Molly calling it off, but it still hurt. I understood more now how Josh must have felt when Shayna broke up with him back in September. I thought I would make it through the day pain-free.

No such luck.

It all began around lunchtime. I was walking toward the cafeteria with Jake, when Toby came up and grabbed my arm.

"Man, you're not gonna believe what I just heard," he said as he tugged on me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jake frantically waving his hand at Toby, trying to get him to shut up about something. I turned toward him. His hand dropped like it suddenly weighed about fifty pounds, and he got this innocent look on his face that immediately made me suspicious.

"What?" I asked sharply.

"Who, me?" he asked. By the look on my face, he realized how stupid that sounded, so he dropped the act. We made our way to some empty seats at our usual table and sat down.

"Okay, guys, what gives?" I asked.

Toby and Jake glanced at each other.

"Okay," said Jake. "You're probably going to hear about it from somebody else later today anyway, so you might as well hear it from your friends first." He glanced around to make sure someone wasn't listening in, as if it mattered.

Toby leaned in close and spoke quietly. "Molly's going out with someone else on Saturday."

I stared at him, then looked at Jake. He gazed back at me solemnly. "She's got a date?" I asked stupidly.

Jake nodded. "Scotty asked her out. She said yes. They're going to some party that Tessa knows about somewhere. Hey, I'm sorry, Sean."

I nodded mutely. I told myself we had broken up, she was free to go out if she wanted. It didn't help. It's only been two days! I was still trying to assimilate our conversation from Wednesday, and she was already going out with someone else? It didn't make any sense to me. And she told me she didn't enjoy her session with Scott in the laundry room.

Or did she really say that?

I started running our conversation back through my mind. Hold on, there's something wrong here. She was upset that I seemed to be enjoying kissing Kayla, but she never said she didn't enjoy kissing Scott that night.

Maybe there was more to this breakup than she was telling me.

Not that, ultimately, it was going to make any difference. Whether she and Scott were going out because of the costume party or not didn't really matter. Whether there was an attraction there before our breakup really didn't matter, either.

But this news really did hurt.

And Josh and Toby were absolutely right. I heard from five or six other friends that Molly was going out with Scott on Saturday. Bad news travels fast, I thought to myself.

Then, just before my last class of the day, Jake found me in the hall.

"Sean. You're not going to like this news at all, but I just heard from somebody who saw them together, that Molly and Scott went to a movie together last weekend. While you were at the state tournament, she was already going out with somebody else. Man, I'm really sorry to have to bring you this news, Sean."

He looked as sorry as he sounded. I would have felt sorry for him, but I was busy feeling sorry for myself, and couldn't spare any for my friend.