Chapter 4

The twenty-eight year old widow lay sunning herself on the patio. She cherished her days off. Her job required her to be on her feet all day and to work with customers who could be quite difficult to say the least. She had checked with the internet service provider and the telephone company about a higher speed for Joel's computer. It would require a DSL or broadband connection and that would mean a higher phone bill. She would definitely need to get a second job. She lay wondering what kind of job she could get whose hours would not interfere with her current job. For the moment, however, she could stretch out and let the sun relax her as it gave her an even deeper tan. Her husband Kyle had always liked her deeply tanned and even with him gone she found the habit hard to break. She had to admit she did look better with deep bronzed skin. The fence around the back yard was high and Joel would not be home for a couple of hours so she had not hesitated to take off the bra leaving on only the string thong of the bikini.

She wondered what the future held for her and Joel. He seemed to want so much — and why shouldn't he? When Kyle was alive they could afford all the things which now seemed to be so unreachable. They had planned on a swimming pool here in the backyard. Kyle even had the plans drawn up. but with his death had come bills and more bills and the swimming pool now seemed only a distant dream. Joel just didn't seem to understand how difficult it was for a single mom. His friends in the neighborhood and at school had such nice things. No wonder Joel felt entitled. Joel had mentioned the swimming pool several times and kept throwing up in her face the fact that virtually every family on Locust street had one. Maybe, she thought, if I can find that second job, I can start putting back something for a pool. It would take a good while, she realized but since it seemed to mean so much to Joel...

Speaking of which she was going to have to have a talk with her son. He was obviously reaching adolescent sexual awakening. She knew that it was normal for youngsters his age to peruse girlie magazines and even dabble on some of the internet porn sites, but his comments about her affair with that dreadful store manager were way out of line. Yes, she had made a mistake in allowing him to control her the way he did, but Joel needed to know she had done it simply to protect her job. Or had she?

She had hated it, especially at first. Yet as time went by and she had gotten to know him, the manager's advances had been more a matter of acceptance than resistance. She had felt so ashamed the first time she had orgasmed, something she had told herself would never happen. Yet he was strong and viral and she missed Kyle so much — his touch, his kisses, his filling her and the orgasms which followed. The store manager had certainly been no Kyle, but he was vigorous and knew her erogenous zones. So despite the fact that after reaching climax with the manager she had determined to never let it happen again, it did — again and again. The truth be known she had come to allow her own sensual needs to outweigh the guilt she felt for going to bed with another woman's husband. She was not in love with him, nor he with her. It simply became a series of erotic encounters in which both could satisfy their primal urges.

Another truth she faced was that she was lonely. She still missed Kyle desperately and even memories of the store manager and their trysts crept into her thoughts from time to time. Even now she realized her hand was creeping downward toward her crotch. She pulled it away. She had tried masturbation but could seldom achieve orgasm and even when she did it left her feeling unfulfilled and hollow. She was only twenty-eight for god's sake. She had needs like anyone else. Yet there was Joel to think of. She dare not ever let her needs outweigh his. She would control her urges and remain the rational and reasoning parent. Yet, once again, her thoughts flicked back to images of naked bodies and her moans and groans of ecstasy. She shook her head as if to clear such thoughts.

Okay, she had let things get out of control and yes, if she were honest with herself, she had even come to enjoy it, but it was long since over and she would certainly never allow such a thing to happen again. Now, if she could only convince Joel of that and get him to forgive her.

In the meantime however, she was going to have to have that little talk with him about sex. Not something she welcomed, especially with the way he felt about her indiscretion. And it would need to be done soon. She stretched and turned over to sun her back a while.

"Hello, Ms. A. Hey that swimsuit is HOT!"

The voice jerked her back to the present. Instinctively she grabbed the top and held it to her as she looked up to find Chico Alverez standing over her admiring the view.

"Oh... uh... Hello, Chico," stammered the nonplused sunbather. "Uh, Joel isn't here. I'm afraid he won't be back for at least another hour or so."

"Oh, that's okay. I'm not the least bit disappointed," he grinned as she struggled to hold up the top of the bikini to cover her breasts.

"You know you might give a person a little warning," she casually chided.

"Sorry about that. Well — not really. It isn't everyday a guy has a chance to see a killer body like yours."

"Why, Chico Alverez," she laughed, "I don't know whether to chastise or thank you."

"Hey, I call 'em as I see 'em. Beautiful woman like you shouldn't be hiding out back here anyway. With a body like that you should be out showing it off."