Chapter 3: Jump

I get up, and nothing gets me down

You got it tough. I've seen the toughest around

And I know, baby, just how you feel

You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real

Van Halen, from the album 1984

Sleep came easy that night for Alex. The night passed without the previous month's nightmares and dark images of a lost sister. They were happily supplanted by a dream of a sixteen your old goddess named Julie.

He woke with the start. He was half hoping that the Goddess Julie was in bed with him, as she was in his dream, but it was not to be. Getting up and dressing, he made his way downstairs and had breakfast with his parents who had gotten up over an hour before.

"So," began Dad "you ready for moving day?"

"As ready as I will ever be. What time will the movers be here?"

"They should be here at 10am. So we have about two hours to get everything ready."

"After you're done why don't you go and check the garage, make sure everything is ready to be loaded," Mom piped in.

"Ok. Is everything set in the house than?"

Dad replied "Yeah, we've got everything ready, except the personal items from last night. Before you head to the garage get your things packed first. Ok?"

"Sure Dad." With that Alex finished up his breakfast, put the dishes in the sink and headed upstairs. The cleanup was done quickly, as there was not much up there, and Alex proceeded out the door to the garage.

The garage was mostly packed, other than some old things that would be left out by the curb for the garbage trucks on Monday, and everything was set. He made a final pass before catching sight of the bike in the corner. It was Lisa's, and it didn't look as if was coming with them. Old times flooded into his thoughts as memories of Lisa and Alex tooling around the neighborhood on their bikes came to mind. He walked over and touched the handle bars, which were cold to his hands. Even though it was a cool summer morning, it still struck Alex as odd. Of all things that he remembered, it was the times that Lisa and he were out biking that he felt the exhilaration of freedom.

"So, you have everything packed?" The voice came from the opened garage door.

Surprised that the voice hadn't given him a heart attack, Alex whipped around. By the door was a somber looking Megan, moving her eyes between Alex and the bike. Why did she look different this morning he thought?

"Uh, yeah. Mom wanted me to check the garage before the, uhm, movers got here and loaded everything up. Looks like everything is set," said Alex as he looked around the garage.

"I've been waiting for you to come out, because I wanted to talk to you in, ah, private, about yesterday."

"Yeah, yesterday kinda threw me for a loop, Megan." replied Alex softly.

"Yeah, I know. I've wanted to say something for a while. Lisa and I talked about it, she half convinced me to ah, make the first move since you were clueless; her words not mine. But then she ah, you know, and afterwards it never felt, right, and then I heard you were moving, and I thought, well let it go. Better to let sleeping dogs lie, so to speak." replied Megan in a whisper.

"Clueless. That's me. I don't know if, well, it doesn't matter now, with me moving, but it would have been nice if we could have gotten to know each other as more than friends."

"Yeah. But don't be a stranger, let me know how you are doing, you know, keep in contact."

"You bet I will. And Megan," Alex was finally able to get the lead out of his ass and move towards Megan. "I want to thank you for the support you gave to me after Lisa, uh, died. That was the first time I could say that, that Lisa died, or is dead." A tear came to Alex's eye, and as he looked into Megan's face he too could see the beginnings of tears. Were they for him, or Lisa? "I, I, um," and he reached out and pulled Megan into his arms and hugged her. Megan, momentarily caught by surprise, let her arms go around Alex and laid her head upon his chest.

The hug, which was meant to be friendly, turned into something more as Alex felt Megan's young breasts pushed into his chest. He pulled her a little tighter, so he could feel them better, when he heard a sniffle coming from Megan. He kissed her forehead and softly said, "I will truly miss you Megan, for who you are, and for what we could possibly have been."

Through tears Megan replied "Yeah, that's how I feel too Alex, for what could have been." She disengaged somewhat from Alex, but still holding on to him, lifted her head and kissed Alex on the lips. Alex returned the kiss, and as soon as it began it was over as Megan turned around and walked away quickly, now openly crying.

"Damn it" Alex swore. "Who the fuck did I piss off! This is fucking bullshit!" He turned around and kicked the boxes that were stacked neatly in the garage. Unfortunately, he kicked them too hard and they all went tumbling down. "God Dammit, motherfucker, son of a bitch, cock sucker," and all the other swear words he could think of all rolled into one long expletive with exclamations points to the end of time. "SHIT!" screamed Alex.

"Ok, you done?" came the voice from behind him. It was his Dad.

"NO. I am not done. I do NOT want to leave. This is BULLSHIT. Everything that I ever cared about is here, and it is FUCKING killing me to leave. I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE. Why do we have to move? Why did you have to get a new job? Why do I find things out about, SHIT, why DID I have to find out NOW! And I still don't know why Lisa had to DIE! I just don't get IT. Why? Do you know why? Can you answer that? Cause I sure the FUCK don't know!"

As he finished his ranting, Alex, heart beating a mile a minute, with sweat pouring out of him, and breathing heavily, finally made eye contact with his Dad. He wasn't prepared for what he saw. There standing in front of Alex was a man beaten down, his shoulders hunched, face drawn, and a single tear rolling down his check. And behind him was his Mother, standing frozen, with tears in her eyes. Any other time Alex would have been ashamed for the vulgarity he used, but now he didn't care. He wanted them to hear it, to know how he felt, and he wanted to be punished, he wanted his Dad to hit him, to beat him, to make the pain he felt inside be replaced by the pain outside, for at least that pain could be healed.

But as he stood there, he knew it was not to come. He knew that his Dad didn't have it in him. His Dad and Mom now understood the pain that Alex felt, and neither would add to it. And then Alex lost hold of his emotions and began crying tears of sadness instead of rage. He closed his eyes as his head lowered.

All of a sudden he felt arms around him, hugging him and the comforting words of his mother "It's ok Alex. It's ok. Both your Dad and I feel the same way, looking for the same answers as you about Lisa. We just, well, I don't know." The last words were spoken not to Alex but to her husband with questioning eyes.

Finally gathering his voice his Dad said, "You're right, it's all bullshit. Everything you said. Damn Alex I don't have the answers, I wish I did. But even if I did would it matter? Would it change anything? You know the answer to that, it wouldn't. You would still feel the pain of loss, just as we do. As for moving and the new job, well, you probably won't like this answer, but, life does move on. It has to. We cannot live in the past, no matter how much we want to. It just isn't possible. I don't know what I can tell you to help you feel better, only you know the answer to that, and in time, you will find the answers to the questions you have asked."

It was a few minutes before Alex could speak. There tears now gone, he was able to look up to see his Dad standing where he was before. Gone was the beaten man with hunched shoulders, what stood was a man with a plan, a can do attitude. What he projected was confidence, and that made Alex begin to realize that everything his Dad had said was right. He can't live in the past, life does move on, and he will have to find the way himself.

He turned into his Mom and hugged her. "I'm sorry about the language, I, uh, I couldn't find a better way to let it out" whispered Alex.

"It's ok, sometimes it's the kick in the pants that breaks through the barriers" responded a visibly relieved Mom.

Alex let go of his Mom and turned to face his Dad just as his Dad pulled him in for a hug. "Sorry Dad."

"That's ok son. Passion is a strong emotion. When you keep it in and it finally gets out it's uncontrollable. Don't let it over take you, talk to us. We can help, we might not have the answers, but you can always count on us. No matter what. We are here for you, we are a family. That's what a family is for."

As they hugged, Alex felt another pair of arms, it was his Mom holding them both in a three-way hug. They stood there for a couple of minutes before Dad said, "We better get back to finishing up. We got another hour before the movers get here," and then he let go, ruffled Alex's hair, gave him a smile and went back into the house.

His Mom didn't seem to want to let go as she continued to hold onto him. Finally she pulled back a little and looked in his eyes. "Alex, take to heart what your Dad said about us being here for you. Remember you are not alone, we can help. And DON'T do anything foolish, drugs and drink aren't the answer. They might temporarily help you to forget, but reality always comes back. DON'T get fooled by it. Life is tough, but well worth it." She kissed him on the cheek, gave him a final hug and began walking back to the house. Before she went through the door she stopped, thought about something and half turned back to Alex. "If you and Megan were meant to be, don't worry. Fate has a way of working things out. That you can believe from old Mom, cause fate brought your Dad back to me." And then she was out the door.

Alex picked up the boxes that he knocked over and sat down on the ground. There was much to think of, things he thought were true were now questionable, and new things to think about had just come to him. He sat like that until Mom called him in, the movers were here.

It took them a little over 2 hours to empty out the house. They moved with an ease brought on by experience. It was very interesting to watch. And as the last of the furniture was loaded on to the truck Alex went back inside for a final look. He walked quietly through the house, looking at the now empty house reminiscing about the good times he had here. He made his way up to the 2nd floor to his room, but was stopped on the stairs by the sobbing he heard from upstairs in his parent's room.

"It's ok, babe, I know it's hard but there wasn't any other way. The plant was closing and Carter came through for me at UPS. It's not the best of situations, but it will have to do, for now. And let's not forget the extra money, that 20k increase will come in handy while you find another job."

"I know. But Alex isn't taking this well. I am really afraid for him, that he might do something stupid. Did you know that Megan has a thing for Alex? What if he has those same feelings for her? Remember how it was for us?"

"Yeah I do, but we were older. And his death was something that neither of us saw coming. No matter what, it would have been bad, and it was worse for us then than it is now. Alex will find his way, he is a lot stronger and intelligent than we give him credit for, I think."

"And what makes you so sure?"

"Because he is my Son. Now, clean yourself up and let's get ready to leave."

Hearing the end of the conversation Alex slipped downstairs. It was a few minutes before he saw his Dad come downstairs saying, "Everything set up there, how does it look down here?"

"Good. Everything has been moved, basement is empty, garage is mostly cleaned out, and they are ready to close up the truck." replied Alex.

"Alright, I will lead the movers in my car, you wait for your Mother and go with her in her car. Ok, Son?"

"Ok, Dad. See you there." and off Dad went to the new house.

It was a few minutes later that Mom came down and asked "Did they leave?"

"Yeah, you missed him by a couple of minutes. He said that I should go with you."

"Ok, lets say goodbye and lock her up" and that is what they did, a final salute to the old house and off they went. He didn't see Megan until they began to pull away from the front of the house. He waved but she didn't move, maybe she didn't see him. It didn't matter, he would still miss her.

The ride was quiet and it was just over 30 minutes before they pulled in front of the new house. It was a nice house, called a Tri-Level, not that Alex cared that much, and there were several others like it on the street where they now lived. It was partially brick with an attached two-car garage on the left side. Walking in the front door he turned his head to the right and saw the front room, which was bigger then the old one. He walked forward through a short hallway and stopped looking to his left were stairs going up to three bedrooms and two baths, one of which was in the master bedroom, don't think that will be mine, thought Alex. To the right of the stairs were another set leading down to the Family Room, something they didn't have in the old house. To the right of the two sets of stairs was the kitchen, a little smaller then the old kitchen but it looked like it was laid out very well. Looking trough the kitchen he could see the dinning room. Turning around he walked downstairs into the family room, at the bottom of the stairs was a door leading to the basement. A few feet from the door was another room. Dad called it a study. Looking to his right was another bathroom, and to the left was another door leading to the laundry room and garage.

It's a big house thought Alex, lots of room. Shrugging in indifference he walked out through the sliding glass doors to the backyard. What he found surprised him greatly for in the backyard was an above ground oval pool enclosed by a deck. All right, thought Alex, this is cool! Maybe I can get Megan to come over for a swim. That would be great.

Making his way back in was treacherous with the movers coming and going so Alex stayed out of their way. Like before, Alex watched in awe as they moved furniture and boxes with ease, every step, every move seemed to be choreographed.

As the hours went by, the house began to take shape, now it resembled ordered chaos. Alex thought that it would take weeks to get everything situated. At last the movers departed, looking weary from the move, and now the work really began. But before the first box was opened Alex's Mom called "Alex, come into the kitchen please."

"Yeah Mom what's up, time for a break?"

"No smart guy, here's 20 bucks and get some bread and cold soda, Diet something, Ok? Oh yeah, there's a Quickie Mart a couple of blocks away; go out of the house turn right two blocks up and three blocks to the left. Take my cell phone in case you get lost."

"Sure thing" and off he went. Not too far of a walk, thought Alex. Be good to scope out the hood, see what's what. As he began walking he paid more attention to homes and people he saw, most were older folks, older than his parents, a couple of homes had younger kids who looked to be between 7 and 10 years of age.

Just before he was to make the turn and head to his left he heard someone say "Look, a new shithead in the neighborhood! Where you going shithead?"

Hmm, thought Alex, there are assholes wherever you go! The one talking was slightly taller and heavier than Alex with long stringy dark hair to his shoulders wearing a Nirvana T-shirt and ripped blue jeans. The other was a foot taller and built. He must work out, thought Alex. He had short blond hair and dark eyes and was wearing clothing identical to the other.

Ah well, here it goes "To the store, that ok with you?"

"No it isn't, shithead! Got any money?"

Incredulously Alex said, "Are you that stupid? Of course I've got money, I just said I'm going to the store. Is everyone around here stupid or is it just you?"

Dark hair didn't even blink an eye and said, "Ohh, shithead got some balls!" Turning to his companion he said "Stevie, should we kick his ass then take the money, or should we take the money, then kick his ass?"

Looking at Alex with a snug look on his face, the blond one replied "Does it matter Frankie, either way we're gonna kick his ass!" And as quickly as he, Stevie, finished the sentence Frankie took a swing at Alex, attempting to land a sucker punch.

Alex was prepared for the attack and his training in Tae Kwon Doo provided him the knowledge on how to counter the attack. Deftly Alex brought his arm up to deflect the punch and using the momentum from Frankie, countered with his other and pushed him away.

From the corner of his eye he saw Stevie ready to throw a punch. Alex quickly lowered himself, twisted around and brought his leg in a sweeping motion, knocking Stevie off his feet.

Continuing with the move Alex was again facing Frankie who had regained his balance and rushed at Alex trying to grab him. Alex, assessing the attack, bent down and put his shoulder into Frankie's midsection and allowed Frankie's momentum to take him over his back and land hard on the ground.

Quickly turning around to face an attack from Stevie, Alex stopped. "Nice moves. Had some training uh?" the voice was coming from an opened garage that Alex hadn't noticed before. From the darkened part of the garage a beast of epic proportions emerged. He was clearly six feet tall and worked out just as the second guy. He had short-cropped brown hair and green eyes and dressed as the other two. He walked around Alex keeping a distance between them, finally saying "My name is Keith, you've met Frankie and Stevie, and this is my home. What do we owe the pleasure of your company?"

"Since you asked politely, I am going to the Quickie Mart to pick up a few things, after which I will return home to continue unpacking."

"I see, new to the neighborhood, so consider this the welcome wagon, though it did not go the way these two thought."

"Uh huh."

"You know, you could fit in nicely with us."

"Uh I'm not so sure that's for me, kind of a loner, not many friends."

"To bad, you could be handy in a pinch."

"Yeah, those pinches, they can be nasty."

"Yeah just ask these two."

"Yeah what's up with those two? Can't a guy go to the store without being molested by the goon squad?"

"Ok chief that's five."

"Five? What the hell does that mean?"

"Since you were new I gave you five brownie points. Since you kicked their asses I gave you another five points, ten in all. You just used up five points; lose the next five and I won't be so nice."

"I'll consider that the next time we meet. If you will excuse me, I have other things to do. Later."

"By the way, since you know my name, what's yours?"

"It's Alex."

"Ok Alex. Be cool, be safe, and be careful. You never know whom you will run into around here."

The threat was not lost on Alex. He carefully backed away from the three, and continued on his way, we are not in Kansas anymore are we Toto, thought Alex. He will have to be VERY careful from now on after meeting the local bullies.

The day passed into night as the family made their way through the boxes and rearrangement of the furniture, Mom changed her mind several times in just about every room, and at 10pm Dad was cooked, and Alex wasn't that far behind. Goodnights were exchanged and sleep came easily.

The next few days were very busy for the Thomason family setting up the house as Alex's Mom had it in her mind that every room needed to be painted, which wasn't that bad, but after three days of painting Alex had had enough. The constant work and loneliness were taking a toll on Alex, and his only break came at night when he would watch TV, or listen to music. His choices were limited to thoughts that were dark or somber, which only made his mood even more depressing and hopeless feeling.

The nights were the time for solitude and reflection as the house was silent as all had retired for the evening. The open window in Alex's room allowed the cooling breeze of the night air to drift in to soothe his aching body from the daily grind of working in the house. The toll on his young body would be forgotten in the morning if a full night's sleep was allowed, but the constant turning and tossing in bed along with unsettling dreams diminished the respite that sleep would give, slowly sapping his strength as the days progressed. Fault lay not within his family, but within himself as unconsciously he allowed it to continue, losing a battle with depression that every day came closer and closer to completely overtaking Alex.

Sad to say, but the depression, a cocoon of self pity that trapped Alex like a warm blanket on a cold night, was keeping life at bay as he tried to deal with the death of Lisa and lost friends that were his linchpin to a sane existence. Though the love from his parents was strong and true it was nonetheless not strong enough to pull him free. Lost again, but this time without the support of friends, Alex succumbed to the hurt and pain that was abating before moving to this new home, a cell with which an unknowing Alex had locked himself into.

Sleep was easy, solace was not.

Thursday was more of the same except for lunch when the family went out. It was a welcome change to the drudgery at home, one that Alex enjoyed the hell out of.

The trip home was peaceful, as each member of the family sat quietly, sated from the afternoon meal. Arriving home, Alex had just gotten out of the car when his dad said "Alex, get back in the car, we have somewhere to go."

Alex quickly jumped at the opportunity to escape from the work surely well planned out by his Mom. Getting back into the car Alex looked to his mom who was walking back into the house a slight spring in her step.

Odd, thought Alex.

Alex was not in the least curious as to their destination, although he enjoyed driving with the windows down listening to music, of course not loud enough for him. One day when he got his own car his parents would be able to tell he was coming home from the load music blaring out the car windows.

The ride was short as his Dad pulled into a parking lot and parked and said, "Let's go, Alex."

He followed his Dad out of the car and sped up to catch him. Alex's spirits jumped as he saw they were heading to a ChicagoLand Tae Kwon Do Dojo. It was newer and bigger than the one in his old neighborhood, and as they entered he noticed it had a lot in common with the old one, the sense of discipline and order. Class was just beginning so the instructor was involved with the students, and this gave Alex time to watch the workout. It was being back at the old school, the stretches, the running in place, the barking coming from the instructor, it was all too familiar.

From behind Alex he heard a familiar voice "Hey Alex, fancy meeting you here. Though I am not surprised."

As Alex turned around he saw Keith, the head bully. Great! "Well I can say the same for you. Keith, this is my Dad. Dad this is Keith. I met him the first day when Mom sent me to the Quickie Mart."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Thomason."

"Pleasure to meet you, Keith."

"So Signing up, I take it?"

"Yup. Don't want my skills to waste away. No telling when they could come in handy."

"I agree with you. Always best to keep yourself finely tuned, in case of emergencies. Well I gotta go, little late getting here. Instructor Chang will work my posterior off big time. Later Alex, and nice to meet you Mr. Thomason."