Chapter 2: Ghost of a Chance

I don't believe in destiny
Or the guiding hand of fate
I don't believe in forever
Or love as a mystical state
I don't believe in the stars or the planets
Or angels watching from above
But I believe there's a ghost of a chance we can find someone to love
And make it last...

Rush, from the album Roll the Bones

It was June 10th, and the memories were as sharp and true today as they were five months ago. The ones who didn't understand said that time heals all wounds. Alex didn't believe it. He couldn't, nor wouldn't, recover. It would affect him for the rest of his life.

So this day, the day that he was packing to move to their new home in the suburbs, was filled with dread and hope. Dread in that he would no longer have the memories in the house that he shared with Lisa. But the hope was that in the new house he could begin to start new memories, not be reminded of the Sister that had died too soon.

Looking up from the album he saw his Dad in the doorway looking at him. A smile on his face contrasted with the tears that were in his eyes. "Alex, we are not moving away from Lisa, we are not trying to forget her, either. Lord knows that will never happen. She was a part of our lives, she continues to be a part of our lives, and she will always be with us. Wherever we go, whatever we do, she will be there."

Now, with tears flowing down his face, Alex said "I know Dad. I just find it hard to let go. This house had so many memories of Lisa that I don't want to leave."

"We aren't leaving to forget, my new job is too far of a commute from here."

"I know, Dad."

"Come on, let's get this stuff packed before the movers get here tomorrow."

With that Alex picked up his stuff and moved it downstairs. Most of his things had been moved earlier.

His Mom was in the kitchen packing up the cups and dishes.

"Hey, Mom."

His mom, never turning around from packing the plates, said "Hi Alex."

"Well, do you remember the EMT from the Wake, Stanley Kuzinski?"

"Yes, the big man that was still in his uniform."

"Did you know that Lisa was conscious in the Ambulance?"

"No. The hospital said she never regained consciousness." Now she stopped packing and, with a plate in each hand, turned around to look at Alex.

"Stanley, uh Mr. Kuzinski, said that on the ride to the hospital Lisa regained consciousness and spoke to him."

"What did she say?"

"That I was not to worry about her, that I needed to be strong, you know, after, ah, she was gone."

Visibly shaken Mom asked "What?"

"Yeah."

His mother put down the plates and brought her hands up to her face. "Alex, did you tell your Dad about this?"

"No, Mom. I figured with all that he was going through, with the move and new job, that I would wait until later."

"Alex, please do not mention this to your Father. Not so soon after Lisa died."

Father? Mom never says Father. It's always Dad. "Ok Mom. But Why?"

"Someone in your Dad's past had died very young, and their death hurt your Dad, and Grandparents, very deeply. To this day they never speak of it because of the pain."

"Is that why we are moving? Because Dad wants to forget Lisa?"

"God no, Alex." Now Mom was crying. "Your Dad will never want to forget Lisa, and will never, EVER, put her from his life. Never think that is why we are moving, to forget Lisa. It isn't so." The last words were spoken with conviction.

"Why don't you go outside and hang out with your friends? Your Dad and I can manage here."

"Ok Mom" Alex said. He walked up to his Mom and gave her a big hug, one that she gave back stronger than he gave. She kissed him and shooed him outside.

Alex ran up to his room and retrieved the latest CD he had picked up. He always brought something with him when he thought he would be heading to the park. Grabbing the CD he raced out of the house and made his way to Neil's house just down the street. As he passed the Sorenson's next door, Megan came out. They had moved in just over a year ago, and like Lisa, Megan was a year younger than Alex. Megan and Lisa began a friendship that soon grew to best friends out of school, as Megan went to a private school. She was, like most Scandinavians, blonde haired and blue eyed, and she was beginning to develop the features that truly say woman.

"Alex, how are you doing?" she asked softly.

"Ok for now. I am not looking forward to moving. My Dad says that with his new job so far away that it doesn't make sense to live here and drive there."

"Yeah, that's what my Dad said when we moved here last year. Still sucks leaving all your friends, and stuff."

"Yeah. I guess I will now know how you felt last year. New school, new friends."

"Yeah but the worst part is missing the friends you have, for things that could have been" Megan said softly.

Alex reached out to her and hugged her and said, "Yeah, I'll miss Lisa too."

Megan slid into his arms and held onto Alex, sobbing gently. She pushed back and Alex released her. She looked up at him and said, "I wasn't talking about Lisa, I was talking about you." With that spoken she turned around and ran into the house.

Alex watched her run into the house dumbstruck. He never knew that Megan felt this way about him. In the year that they lived next door to each other Megan never said anything to him, or acted any differently. He thought back to all the times that Lisa and Megan had hung out together, how she would watch him when he entered the room, or how she would respond to him when they talked. These things pulled at him like none other had before. He looked again at the house where Megan lived, shook his head and began his walk to Neil's.

Arriving at his house he knocked on the door. A minute later Neil answered, "Hey what's up dude? I thought you'd be packing or some shit like that."

Alex entered the house, "I was but Mom said to get lost, have fun, hang out with the boys for the last time."

"Man, you moving sucks the big one. Can't talk your Dad out of it, can you?"

"Nope. It's a done deal. What do you want to do?"

"Not a clue, dude. Gary's at his uncle's for the weekend, he won't be back until Tuesday, and you'll be long gone."

"Yeah I talked with him on the phone yesterday, said our goodbyes."

"Yeah, he called after you hung up with him. He said that later in the month his brother was heading out your way, something about a party or some such shit, we're thinking about hitchin' a ride with him and stopping by."

"Yeah that'd be cool. When I get the new phone number I'll give you a call, and directions. Come on lets go hang at the park. Something's always happening there."

"Yeah Minuteman should have something happening today."

They soon were heading over to Minuteman Park. Not the largest in the area, nor the closest, but many of their friends liked going there, and many of them did find their way over there throughout the day. The park, not used much, was shaped like a triangle; Central Avenue on one side, railroad tracks on the other, and a curved residential on the other. It was definitely an ugly shaped park.

The walk to the park was subdued, knowing that this would be the last time that they would be making the walk. As always the conversation moved to the topic that was the one thing that the three disagreed on - music. Through the last couple of years, led by Alex, the state of music was discussed to some length. Neil and Gary were most interested in the new music coming out Stone Temple Pilots, Alice in Chains, Nine Inch Nails, and Soundgarden. Alex liked all types, from the early Beatles to the current flavor of the month, the exception being Disco or Dance.

The strongest disagreement was Pearl Jam vs Nirvana. Neil thought that Nirvana was the true grunge metal band, which all the others were ripping off. Alex countered that Pearl Jam was just as responsible for the influx of grunge, but were not as well hyped by the media. It was a no win conversation as neither would concede the point.

They crossed the rail road tracks and headed towards the field house from the west side of the park. The field house, which was currently closed, was where everyone hung out. As they approached the sounds of the latest Soundgarden album could be heard echoing from the side of the building. Not Alex's favorite group, but he liked the song "Let Me Drown" which was what was playing.

Rounding the corner of the field house they saw several of their friends. The first people he saw were the twins, Sheri and Allison Williams. They had known each other since the fifth grade, when they moved into the neighborhood. Sheri and Allison were fraternal twins, and were fiercely loyal to each other. They were of average height with fair complexion, green eyes, and sandy colored hair that went half way down their back.

His, or more to the point, the Three Amigo's friendship with the twins started off on the wrong foot. It was not clear how it came about; the outgoing personalities of both groups, the tom foolery of the boys, or the competitiveness of being the smartest in the class that was the root cause of the dislike. If not for the interference of Ms. Jordan that first year, they would still be antagonizing each other.

Sitting on the ground talking to the twins was Joe Johnson. Joe was the self-proclaimed Fourth Musketeer of the Three Amigo's. They had been friends since the third grade when Joe moved into the neighborhood. He was the smallest of the four and light skinned with blond hair and dark blue eyes. In personality Joe was the exact opposite of everyone in the group. Where Gary, Neil, and Alex were outgoing, Joe was quiet, to the point of being hidden, blending in with all the other kids. It was this that made Joe the target of the local school bullies. The bullies, Dennis Connelly and Bruce Henderson, began picking on Joe the first week. This bullying was manifested by tripping, pushing, punching, and verbally abusing him until he was crying. That only drove the bullies on; getting Joe to cry seemed to be the high point of their day.

If it wasn't for action that Alex had taken against the bullies in the lunch room one day, Joe would have endured several more years of abuse. Since that day, known as 'The Lunch Room Brawl' by the other students, Joe had become a member of the Three Amigo's.

Sitting next to Joe was Kelly Smith, a friend since first grade, and girlfriend of Joe. Kelly was small and quiet, a perfect match for Joe, with short dark brown hair and matching eyes. They had been friends for a long time, but at the end of the school year, something began to click between them and they became more then friends.

Sitting with them was Julie Anderson, Joe's older sister. Julie was two years older and rarely hung out with them so Alex was a bit surprised to see her. Julie, like Joe, had sandy colored hair that flowed around her shoulders, but had light brown eyes and she had already developed those womanly features that the females envied and the males admired. Her breasts, while not overly large, were in between a B and C cup, and her hips definitely were something to admire.

Before Alex or Neil could say anything Julie said "Hey guys, how's it hangin'?"

Alex and Neil looked at each other, surprised at the acknowledgement from Julie before replying in unison "Nothing much, how about you guys?"

"Listening to Soundgarden" replied Joe.

"Yeah, love that song. Wish the rest of the album was as good" replied Alex.

"Shut up. It's a great album" replied Sheri to Alex, but looking at Neil.

What is this, thought Alex. Sheri was not a fan favorite of Soundgarden, she liked chick stuff. And the look she gave to Neil? Since the incident with Megan just thirty minutes ago, Alex was looking at the interplay in a whole new light. Was there something between the two?

"Alex would rather listen to the Beatles or Beach Boys than real music" laughed Neil.

"Bite me, loser" replied Alex. "You wouldn't know good music if it jumped up and bit you on the ass."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, heard it all before. Hey Joe, you got the Van Hagar live CD over there? We were discussing the finer points of Dave and Sammy the other day and I want to point out to Alex the error of his ways."

"Hey brain fart, that was you and Gary arguing, like little boys I might add, over the Roth/Sammy shit. I like both eras."

Allison joined the conversation at that point "Little boys is right. Haven't we been telling you for the last three years that you all act like little boys?"

Now it was Neil's turn, "Hold up there, little missy. I have heard that for a long time, and I will guarantee you there is nothing little about it."

"Boys are so sensitive about size, why is that?"

"From the founding member of the IBT Club I've got to hear this?" replied Neil.

"Ok, before the claws come out, this is my last day at the park, and although I enjoy the banter as much as you do, can we forgo the next hour of insults for now?" joked Alex.

Sheepishly looking at one another, Neil and Allison both agreed. "Yeah, your right Alex, sorry."

With the tension abated Julie came up to Alex and put her arm around him. Slowly, she brought her face close to his ear and said, "I never did get to say how sorry I was about Lisa. She was a special girl and I'll miss her."

Alex couldn't look at her; he nodded his head, "Thanks. She was special."

"I also wanted to say that I'll miss you also."

He turned his head and looked at Julie in surprise. "I thought you barely tolerated us?"

Pulling back she laughed "You guys are a hoot. I never laugh so much with my friends as I do when I'm with you guys. My friends are way too serious."

"So we are immature now?" chuckled Alex.

"See that's what I mean. You can laugh at yourself. My friends are too hung up with themselves. You guys are more real, more honest. If anything I feel you are more mature than my friends. They see it as Sex and Drugs and Rock & Roll, you guys are about friendship."

"Well I can only speak on one of the two, Rock & Roll. The drugs aren't me. But if you're offering the sex, sign me up!" There is always hope, thought Alex.

"You see, that's what I mean. You can take it as a fun jab at someone. My friends would have thought it was an invitation."

Is she kidding Alex thought, but out loud said, "Who's thinking that it wasn't an invitation?"

"Cut it out, you're cracking me up."

"No really. If you're offering I'm buying." Maybe there was hope.

"Ok stud muffin, settle down. Now you're starting to sound a little Fatal Attraction-ish" but the look she was giving him was little more than friendship. She disengaged herself from him and joined the others in conversation.

Crash and Burn, thought Alex.

"So Alex, what ancient music have you brought forth to enlighten us lowly youngsters?" quipped Joe.

Alex was known to be the musicologist of the group, not that he knew a lot about music. He would listen to anything related to rock & roll, and if he liked it would by the CD. In some instances, for the older music, his Dad would kick in the money, as it would be something that he liked as well. Alex's love of music was directly related to his Dad. If his Dad had not introduced him to it when he was young, he might not have been as open as he was now.

In keeping with the tone that Joe had adopted, Alex replied "I have brought forth to this distinguished group, a quartet of some renown. Many have feasted on the ancient recordings put forth on vinyl and tape that had catapulted these fine young lads to top of stadium rock of the 70's, 80's, and 90's. They were formed, not too far from here, in the breadbasket of this US of A. They are known for the blending of corny melodies, hard driving rhythms, and monstrous power chords. It is with great pride I introduce you to, Cheap Trick." With the flamboyance of a Magician, Alex bent forward extending his arm which holds the first album from Cheap Trick.

Joe, looking at the CD as one would look at the decaying head of a dead skunk, retrieved it using his thumb and index fingers. "Ah, I think I should say thanks, but, ah, I'm not really sure" was the response from Joe.

"Come on, take a chance. Just listen to three songs. ELO Kiddies, Taxman, and He's a Whore. If you don't like these songs turn it off. But at least give a listen to He's a Whore, it definitely rocks" replied Alex.

Looking to the rest of the group Joe says, "What do you say gang, do we give it a listen?"

A node of agreement from everyone was all that Joe needed. "Ok Alex." responded Joe with a sigh. "We will try one song. If we get the green light we will try the rest of the album."

"That's all I ask." replied Alex.

"I just hope it's not another Frampton Comes Alive. That sucked!"

"Hey, I liked that one!" yelled Kelly. "Baby I Love Your Way is a great song, Joe."

Turning to face Kelly, Joe said, quite forcefully, "That song suc..." and stopped in mid-word. Who says that all men, boys, okay young men, are stupid when it comes to the opposite sex? The fierce look in Kelly's eyes had stopped Joe cold. She might be small and she might be quiet, but when she feels strongly about something, she's like a momma bear protecting her cubs. Everyone knew what Joe was about to say, but the words never came out as Joe lowered his eyes away from the hard stare that Kelly was giving him. Slowly he replaced the Soundgarden CD with Cheap Trick, and forwarded to the song that Alex requested.

And as they were all waiting for the music to start, the conversation started on the relative merits of the new music. As Alex listened to the conversations going back and forth he paid more attention to the music. Watching the faces of the members of the group he saw puzzled looks on the face as the lyrics began.

Have you seen her face
She's got a face that would stop a clock
And with that face I surely won't stop
To look her in the eyes
But her moneys green
Like tea and so's her teeth
But she's still so close to my reach
If I call, if I call at all

By the end of the first verse they began talking about the lyrics.

"Man she must be fugly" commented Neil.

"Like your last date Neil, if you ever had one" said Joe.

"Hey Allison, I've never seen you stop a clock" laughed Neil.

"Hey Neil, how was your date with your hand last night?" laughed Allison. "Did you get lucky, or did you strike out, as usual?"

"No, Mrs. Palmer and her five Daughters took care of the job. I hear there's a sale at the vegetable store, time to pickup a new boyfriend, Allison."

And so it went until the end of the song, playful insults went around and no one was immune. The one thing that caught Alex by surprise was quiet little Kelly sending insult salvos back and forth with the best of them.

As the song ended the group agreed to start the CD from the beginning and give it a full chance. Alex was not surprised, knowing the particular musical slant of the group, that they liked the music. It had everything they liked in music, biting guitars, a solid beat, and interesting lyrics. Another successful musical enlightenment moment.

So the banter between the members of the group began again as the music started. It was light and covered various topics, teachers in school, the difference between grade school and high school, and where everyone was going on vacation. It was interesting to hear what Julie had to say about high school. As she was going to be a junior, she had the scoop on the goings on in the school. Not that it mattered to Alex, as he was going to another school, but hearing about the different clique's in school gave him tips on what to expect.

He had counted a multitude of groups at the High School Julie attended. The groups were Jocks, Beautiful Ones, Dorks, Brains, Druggies, Sluts, and Joe's. Jocks played sports and were predominately male but could be female. The Male jocks, for the most part, had nothing to do with the Female jocks; Julie thought that the Females intimidated Males. The Beautiful Ones were the Prom Kings and Queens. If you were a jock you were automatically a beautiful one, untouchable by any of the opposite sex not part of the Beautiful Ones or Jocks. Females made up the majority of this group but there were a few Males who were not jocks. Dorks were the ones that, as Julie put it, shouldn't even breed, they were frowned upon by the Jocks and Beautiful Ones, and to some degree the Brains. Brains were the top 10% of the school academically. If you tried to be a Brain, and failed, you were put in the Dork group, being too stupid to pull it off. Druggies were dedicated to the attainment of a perpetual high before, during, and after school. Their outlook on life was party 'til you drop. Sluts were the sex group. Want to get laid, that's where you go, too bad I was going to a different school, Alex thought-, I could have used a few names, female of course. This was the one group that transcended all of the others in that each group had Slut's in them. Joe's covered everyone else not in any of the groups, the average.

Alex looked at Julie and thought she was in the Beautiful Ones category. Knowing whom she hung out with would have been a clear indicator as to where she fit in. He didn't recognize any of the names of the friends she mentioned in any previous conversations and didn't follow High School sports to know for sure. What he did know was that she didn't think that highly of them.

As the day wore on one of the frequent visitors, though not necessarily part of the group, showed up. Russell Janizuski was the purveyor of online file sharing music and movies. Of course, it was illegal, but how many young teens could get their hands on all the new music and movies that come out to stay up on things? Russell was a year older; he went to the same school as Julie, but a year behind. If Alex has to guess, he was in the druggie clique due to his appearance; he was tall, rail thin, with long stringy hair to his shoulders, and dark brown eyes. He was always high, which Alex would have thought was impossible, but never-the-less that was how he was. His clothing was always the same; jeans, gym shoes, a T-shirt he got from a concert, usually Nine Inch Nails, Soundgarden, Metallica, or whoever he saw within the last month, covered by a flannel shirt that was too big for him. His parents, if you could call them that, were never home, giving him great latitude in what he wanted to do. This basically amounted to getting high or downloading music and movies from the net.

"Hey guys and gals, sup?" croaked Russell.

"Not much Russ. What you doing here?" replied Joe.

"Yuh know, looking for something to do, a hookup with some 'D', normal shit" said Russell with the flip of a hand.

"Can't help you with 'D' Russ." responded, Joe shaking his head.

"Yeah I know, not your thing. That's fine. But need to feed the beast" Russell said with a smile. "Hey, by the way I might have something you might be interested in. I downloaded a concert, audio only, from a couple of groups, you interested Neil?"

"Might be, who do you have, and how much?"

"NIN, Soundgarden, Janes Addiction, Green Day, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, and a couple of others, you interested?"

"Yeah I'm interested, but how MUCH?"

"It's called bartering man, come on over, listen to them and we take it from there."

"Nooo, one buck per, IF I like it!"

"Come ON. I can get a fin for each if you like them."

"But you're not giving me the shit, you're just COPYING the songs. IF you turned it over to me than I would go higher."

"Just come on over and listen, they are great mp3's dude."

"Ok, let's go. You coming, Alex?" Neil asked looking over at a smiling Alex.

"No man, I'll just hang here for a while. I catch ya later" replied Alex.

Alex knew that Russ had Neil, he was a sucker with a capital 'S' when it came to bootleg music. Especially the groups that Russ had mentioned, they were Neil's favorites. Alex laughed inwardly; Russ had him hook, line, and sinker.

"Ok I'll stop by the house later" replied Neil as he got up and started walking with Russ.

Cheri sat up and said, "Do you mind if I come along? I would like to, ah, hear some of the music to. I might be interested too."

"Sure come on Cheri, if that's ok with you Russ?" replied Neil.

"No probs, the more the merrier I always say, plus maybe another sale!" replied Russ.

With that Cheri stood up and joined the two as they walked off. As Alex watched he noticed that Cheri allowed Joe and Russ to begin walking before she did, and as Russ went on Neil's left side she quickly went on Joe's right side. As she caught up to the two she looked over her shoulder to Allison and tossed her a HUGE grin. As Alex watched this transpire he thought poor Neil, he has no clue as to what he got himself into.

Turning his head he caught Allison looking at him, she smiled and winked at him, and pointed her head towards the two walking away close together. Alex chuckled while shaking his head. The twins had it in for Neil.

As they walked away Joe turned to Kelly and said "Hey babe, want to get some fries and a coke, I'm buying?

"Yeah that would be great. Let's go" replied a beaming Kelly. Joe had called her Babe. He's a goner.

"Do you mind if I come along" said Allison "I can go for some fries, too."

"Ok but I'm not buying yours!" replied Joe.

AS they got up to go Joe said, "You coming Alex?"

"No, I think I'll head back to the house. Still got some packing to do." replied Alex.

"You coming Sis?" asked Joe.

"No, I'm going to head back home. Alex, can I walk with you?" asked Julie, lowering her eyes and batting her lashes at Alex.

Fantasies come to mind that flowed like water over waterfall. And in the time it took his big head to respond his little head was at attention. Though he was a jumble of nerves, he calmly responded "Yeah sure. That would be cool."

"Great!" replied Joe.

As they all got up to leave, Kelly came up and hugged Alex, "I'm gonna miss you. Take care and be cool." With that Kelly kissed Alex on the cheek, and turned away quickly, blushing profusely. Joe just stared as Kelly walked up to him, and to allay any fears gave him a kiss on the lips. Joe, temporarily stunned, responded to the kiss, giving back to Kelly what she gave to him.

Alex, still stunned, is brought back to reality when Allison pulls him into her arms and kisses him on the lips. Holy Shit thinks Alex. I should have moved sooner! Then, in a voice filled with anguish Allison says "All those years ago I thought you were an immature asshole. Now, I just think you are immature! All kidding aside, I am going to miss you, Alex Thomason. Your friendship has meant more to me more than I ever thought possible. Have a good life. Find happiness where you can, find love where ever possible, and have as many babies as the poor woman you marry will allow!" the final words came out with matching tears.

Alex, for the umpteenth time is filled with conflicting emotions. Looking in the eyes of a tearful Allison, he raises his hand to wipe away the tears. Looking deeply into her eyes the words come to him without thought, "Allison you are one of the most special girls I have ever met, there is no doubt in my mind of that. I love you like the sister I lost, and wish for you the best that life can give. I have been, and always shall be, your friend." Oh shit, thought Alex, quoting Spock from Star Trek. What a dork she must think I am.

Stepping back, Allison began wiping the tears from her eyes. "Quoting Star Trek, you're such a dork!"

Yup, I am a dork thought Alex.

Joe walked up and hugged Alex, whispering in his ear "And I thought you didn't know her. She cried during that scene. I bet she wet her panties when you said that to her. Ya know you could probably nail her right now." Backing away Alex could see the smile on Joe's face. Than he winked and said in a normal voice "Take care. And don't be a stranger! Call, write, send a telegram, something, to let us know how you are!"

"Yeah, you too. And don't forget the invitation!"

"For what?" replied a puzzled Joe.

"Why, the wedding invitation. Kelly, you still have a lot of work cut out for you!" said Alex looking at Kelly. Alex didn't think that anyone could blush red so deeply, but Kelly sure did.

"Shut up Alex. God, I'm only fourteen! Do you know how many other..." and just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, thought Alex. The look that Joe gave Alex plainly indicated that if there was a rocket launcher near by Alex would be getting a ride. Alex tossed his head back laughing, "Your fucked now bud!" Then Alex looked at a visibly pissed off Kelly, and remarked "Well fucked is not quite right, if ever!" And that started Alex laughing all over again.

Looking back at Joe, Alex saw the anger dissipate from him. Joe than lowered his head and began to slowly shake it. After a few seconds Joe looked up at Alex with his head cocked slightly with a small smile on his face and said, "Man you fucked me up pretty good dude. Last shot was the best! But I still love you man. Take care." With that Joe raised his hand and waved at Alex.