Chapter 34

I spent the weekend quietly. I thought I had accepted that the ride was over and it was time for me to get off and get ready for the rest of my life. It wasn't a good feeling, but by Monday morning, I felt that I had come to terms with things.

I found out I wasn't prepared for the pain, however, when Gail showed up at my locker before English. She had tears in her eyes as she reached out and handed me a heart shaped locket. I stared at it for a moment, blinking back tears that wanted to spring forth, and then turned Gail's hand and dropped the locket into it.

I took a breath to make sure my voice was steady. "Gail, please take this back to Melissa and tell her that it was a gift from me, freely given, and I'd like her to keep it. Hopefully she will look back on our time together with some fondness. Tell her that I got her message loud and clear, though, and I won't be bothering her anymore."

Gail said something, but I didn't hear as I turned, closed my locker and headed back out the door. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes as I wandered away from the school, and this time I made no effort to hold them back. I knew then that until the moment Gail had appeared with the locket, I'd still held out some hope that things would settle down and we would get back together. I guess I really hadn't accepted it over the weekend, after all.

I ended up sitting on that picnic bench at the Overlook, staring out over the lake. I didn't much remember getting there, or how long I stared at the lake once I got there. I just kept replaying the last ten months that Missy and I had danced around our relationship, each moment sharp in my mind. After a while, I started walking back to town. With a glance at my watch, I realized that I would probably get back to school before classes ended.

I stopped about a block from the school. I was pissed off. I mean throughout this whole break up, Missy had said not one word to me. I felt like after everything we'd been through together, she owed me that much, and in her place, I would have never used Gail and Jackie they way she had, never have put Gail or Jackie in the positions Missy had put them in. I struggled with an idea for a moment, and finally shrugged my shoulders. What did I have to lose?

With a more purposeful stride I walked back into the school and went to my locker. None of the hall monitors saw me, and I made my way to the library unchallenged. I had about twenty minutes. I wrote furiously. It took about four pages, but I got my thoughts down and after reading through the message, I nodded.

There were about five minutes of class remaining when I dropped the note in Missy's locker and headed out the door for home.

Tuesday morning, I made sure I was early to English.

"I'd like to change my seat assignment, Mr. Hayes," I said as he looked up and acknowledged me.

"Oh? Is there some reason for this capricious request, Mr. Robinson?"

I considered my reply for a moment and then sighed. "Let's just say that Melissa Harmon may feel a little more comfortable sitting next to Jackie Weathers than me and leave it at that," I told him.

Mr. Hayes nodded. "I think Mr. Shakespeare said it best, 'They do not love that do not show their love. The course of love never did run smooth. Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love.'"

I nodded my head. "Yeah, something like that, Mr. Hayes. So is it okay if I swap with Jackie?"

"Yes, Mr. Robinson that will be fine."

"Thanks, Mr. Hayes."

Jackie and Missy arrived shortly before the bell. Jackie stared at me, and nodded. Missy seemed oblivious to the switch, sat and turned immediately toward Mr. Hayes. Mr. Hayes launched into his lecture a moment after the bell. He opened his book as he wandered around the classroom. I was surprised when he stopped next to my desk. He put his book down in front of me.

"Read through this passage a couple of times, Mr. Robinson," he said. "I will be asking you to read it in a moment." He walked back to his desk and picked up another book. He kept talking about Shakespeare's sonnets as he walked. I looked back down and read through the sonnet he had pointed to. The words were just what I had felt yesterday. I felt a tear sting my eye. Mr. Hayes had no mercy. I read the sonnet again, wondering how I was going to get through reading it aloud. Lost in the words, I didn't realize Mr. Hayes had stopped talking until I realized the class was quiet. I looked up to see Mr. Hayes with his arms grasped behind his back, looking at me. He'd dropped the other book off somewhere.