Chapter 18

I had ducked out as soon as my last class was over, half afraid that Cathy would try to pick up the conversation where we had left it earlier. After Cathy, I was more determined than ever to talk to Missy. I just had no idea how to make that happen. Lost in thought, I didn't notice a driver blow through a stop sign. He nearly ran me over. I shook my head, and checked both directions before continuing on. I sure as heck didn't need to end up in the hospital again.

And just like that, I suddenly knew how I could have that talk with Missy. It was Wednesday. I knew where Missy would be for the rest of the afternoon. And I was pretty sure that her mother wouldn't be there.

I hurried home, and after a quick supper, I asked Tracey if she would drop me off at the hospital. She gave me a curious look, but didn't ask me why I wanted to go, simply reaching for her coat and keys. I gave her an appreciative smile. I was too keyed up to talk about it. I just told Tracey that I had to be at the hospital before 7:00, and she dropped me off with time to spare. I was sitting on the hood of Missy's car at 7 waiting. Missy volunteered at the hospital until 7:00 on Wednesdays, and unless she was going to walk home, she was going to have to talk to me before she got in the car.

I knew Missy saw me when she opened the door. She stopped, stared at me uncertainly for a moment and then turned and took two steps back into the Hospital. She stopped again, then spun back around and walked quickly toward me. I hopped off the hood and waited.

"Hello, John."

I could feel my anxiety churning in my guts, and I took a breath before replying. "Hi, Missy. I was hoping we could talk while you drove me back to my house," I said as calmly as I could.

"Um, I guess that would be okay," she said nervously. Seeing that she was nervous, too, actually helped to drain away some of my fear

I climbed in the passenger seat and Missy got the car started. "So, Missy, what is going on?"

Missy frowned and bit her lip. "I, um, oh, can we wait until we get to your house, John? I'm not sure I can talk about this when I'm driving."

"As long as we talk when we get there," I replied firmly.

Missy gave me a half hearted smile and nodded. We drove the rest of the way in silence.

Missy put the car in park in front of my house. Then she turned toward me. She took a deep breath and looked away from me, staring out the window for a moment. Then I heard her sigh, and she turned and looked at me searching my face. "I'm so sorry, John," she said. "I know I'm not handling this particularly well." She took another deep breath. I could see her eyes glistening. "I probably won't say all of this right either, but I need to say it anyway, so please, don't say anything until I get it all out, okay?"

I nodded, dreading what I was about to hear, but needing to hear it at the same time.

"Um, so, we were at Grandma's house. Things were nice and calm until Momma got this call the day after Christmas," Missy started. "She was quiet all afternoon and then at dinner that evening, she lowered the boom. I was getting too serious about you and you were leaving in the fall. You were like all men, you'd wine and dine me and after I gave in you'd leave me barefoot and pregnant and you'd be in University Park. You'd made it plain that you wanted to leave Ridgemont and never return. I was too young. I needed perspective, and there were, after all, many more suitable matches."

I felt myself getting angry, but remembering my promise to let Missy 'get it all out, ' I forced myself to keep my mouth shut.

"I couldn't believe it!" Missy continued, a bit of heat now in her voice. We must have argued for hours. Grandma even agreed with Momma. You have to believe me, John. It didn't matter what I said. In the end, Momma said, 'as long as you are living under my roof, young lady, you will do what I say.'"

I stared at her. A tear trickled down her cheek. "So what does this mean, Missy?"

Missy gulped and her lower lip quivered. "I had a date to the New Year's party with Henry Longmoore. I have dates every weekend for the next two months with Henry and three other 'suitors'. Momma is convinced that I will like one of them, and I will start dating one I choose, exclusively. I don't know what to do, John! New Year's was horrible. Henry was the perfect gentleman at the party, but when he took me home, he got grabby." Tears were streaming down her face. She started to say something more and couldn't.

I pulled her to me and hugged her. I could hear her sobbing into my coat, "I'm s-s-so s-s-sorry, J-j-john."

I kissed the top of her head and held her. Finally she shuddered and stopped crying. I put my finger under her chin and brought her eyes to mine.

I was completely pissed by now, but I knew I needed to stay calm. "Missy, look at me." I told her.

Huge tears continued to roll down her cheeks, but she opened her eyes and looked at me.

I asked the question at the heart of this all. "So none of this is your way of dumping me?"

Missy shook her head. "Oh, God, no, John!" She sniffed and rubbed at her eyes. She tried to say something more and then closed her mouth. She unzipped her jacket and unbuttoned two of her blouse buttons. Bobbing in the opening was the heart I'd given her from Christmas. "Does this look like I want to dump you? I love the heart. And I wear it all the time. If I wanted to break up with you, I would give it back. Okay?"