Chapter 1

A tidy young lady of Streator Dearly loved to nibble a peter. She always would say, "I prefer it this way. I think it is very much neater."

It was the headache that awoke me. The pounding in the back of my skull - threatening to send me to a most painful of deaths. With each beat of pain, waves of spots could be seen in my eyes. How much had I drunk last night?

At first it made no sense, I had not been out drinking again had I? Or, at least I don't remember drinking anything!

Then it all came back and I snapped my heavy eyes open to view the painfully bright morning light to confirm that I was still alive. My memories certainly were!

Wow!

The waves of pain suddenly stopped and I considered just how confusing my life really was, how it had lead up to last night. At least I was in my own bed rather than down the hall in mother's!

You read that right.

If being a fifteen year old nowadays was not stressful enough, mom goes and starts acting all weird on me for the weeks leading up to last night. Here I am carefully moving through school so the jocks don't beat on me yet again while trying to fit in with Gord and his crew, as no one fucks with them, all the while my parents are going through a harsh divorce, then my mom starts, like, making moves on me or something.

When I think I figured it all out about her; she wanting to encourage me to do better at school by giving me little flashes of herself, mom destroys my illusions and takes it even further. Sick shit right?

I think I am just a plain average kid with a messed up world around me.

What do I mean about mom and I? She is regularly giving me her panties to jerk on, though in her defence I was stealing them from the dirty hamper anyways! While Gord is wanting me to start producing some cash for the crew - telling me that a cut will be mine, as well as the use of his slave girl Linda.

Tell me again that I shouldn't be confused?

Sure, mom's plan had been working - I was staying home most nights rather than hanging with the crew, and my last couple of marks from school were higher than I had gotten in years. But Gord was hounding me to the point that I was starting to worry about getting a beating from him as well.

Fuck, if I could only just stay in bed the rest of my life!

This morning mom was acting a little more apprehensive than the last weeks, her eyes nervously stealing glances at me - like I was contagious or something. She moved about the kitchen without a word or a sound, not even complaining how late I had slept in, serving me bacon and pancakes - my favourite.

Last night, mom had simply starred at me in the darkness of her room, not giving me the answer to still my fears and worries - a son should not feel this way towards his mother, should not, even when presented with such obvious delights by her, even consider sampling them. Should he?

Yet I have considered it - more than once!

I was feeling embarrassed this morning I never said a word to break the silence and I should have.

The weeks leading up to this moment had been surreal around our home. Mother looking at me constantly when together and then the way she started to dress in loose revealing clothing. It was almost like she wanted me to notice her, to stare at her big droopy breasts or shapely smooth legs. We could not be in the room together without her hand touching me somewhere - on the arm, head or knee mostly. And the attention she gave me was absolute when together - her whole being watching and listening to every word I had to say. Where was the woman that I had known growing up - the one that was too busy working to attend my band concert in middle school, or the one that seemed to always choose dad over me in every discussion the three of us ever had?

Outside the house, wishing I could loose this stigma of being a virgin, a nerd, and then mom goes and dangles her carrot before my eyes. I mean, talk about stress. And its not like I could talk to her - ask her why she was being so provocative! No guy would ever ask that of his mom!

Besides, its really fucking turned me on! She is sort of plain, do you know what I mean? Chubby with large breasts and a thin somber face that rarely smiled - you never looked at her twice in a mall. No guys walked up to her and asked for her number, or even seemed to notice she was alive. She, from my perspective, lived a lonely sad life, one that I never once thought twice about. For all that I was torn between wanting her - wanting to touch her round meaty ass, taste her lips and to see how her eyes blazed as she watched me masturbate. She is my mom for fucks sake! But I had never seen so much female flesh in my life and to this virgin, she was looking very seductive! God help me, but I want her like I've never wanted anything else in my life.

"More pancakes Barry?"

I shook my head to clear out my thoughts, "No thanks mom."

So thats how its supposed to be - yesterday she had sat grinding herself into my crotch while giving me kissing lessons and then this morning its 'what would you like for breakfast'! Its all so fucking unreal.

Is it any wonder I went off my rocker last night?

It all had come crashing down the evening before - everything you know? Guilt, lust, doing the right thing or the wrong. Fuck! I just lay awake soiled in my own come for hours, starring at my ceiling, reliving and unsuccessfully trying to suppress my roaring emotions. Praying for this internal madness to calm itself.

I received no answers from the darkness of course. I'm not nuts - just a pervert.

This morning I feel a lot better than I did last night - not perfect, I never felt that good, but at least I was back to my old confused self.

The last few days I have had the feeling that mom would have done anything I asked. It was the look in her eyes when I talked to her, the way she held her breath when I touched her. I tested the waters again and again - touching her large ass and breasts - she always seemed willing, often pressing back into my hand, sometimes moaning in pleasure. And then watching her lick my come from her breasts after jerking me off was just out of this fucking world!

Believe me when I say that I would never have instigated these encounters. Oh sure, a few peaks up her skirt or borrowing her panties for a jack off session - all normal right? Well, maybe a little warped - but nothing close to how things are now! How can I not do the things I'm doing - there seems to be little in the way of boundaries, and the fact that its my mom really does not hit my conscious until long after I act.

Mom has been offering me more if only I would stay home nights, get better marks at school - it was all so transparent. Somehow mom was trying to manipulate me using her body - she must guess that I was such a looser to still be a virgin and could not control myself even when it was my own mom.

Sure mom - flash me your tits and I will stay home because I can't get a girl my own age to do the same! The sad thing is, is that its working.

It may not surprise you, but Gord's slut Linda no longer holds as much sway over me as she had a month ago. I would have sold any drug, broke into any home for Gord - only for a touch of Linda's tiny perky breasts. But her small adolescent tits could not compare to mothers bountiful hangers - white smooth flesh, so soft but firm, delicious!

Mother was offering me much more than Gord for much less and life did not seem any clearer. Why did it have to be so complicated?

Mom stood up from the table and took my empty plate and cup away - of course my eyes watched how her ass danced and wiggled in the tight shorts she wore. I'm a guy, how could I not look when she was giving me such sexy shows? There was no confusion on my part there - she was doing this for me - I was supposed to look. When I didn't, it felt as if she were embarrassed or humiliated. Like I said - makes no sense.

Wanting to know if we were okay - you know what I mean, if going off the deep end last night had ruined anything between us - I stood and strode up behind her. Placing one hand on her round meaty ass I leaned in and kissed her cheek. This would have been an unthinkable act, for either of us, only weeks before.

Mom's response was to let out a barely audible groan, press her ass into my hand and smile widely at me with a sparkle in her eyes when I was finished. Our agreements were still in place - her panty would be warm and ready for me at bedtime tonight.

Tell me again that I wasn't supposed to be confused?

Linda was seated on the old patched couch reading some chick magazine when I slipped through the doorway - leaving my skateboard against the wall I approached her. "Gord around Linda?"

She didn't even look up at my entrance, and finished blowing a bubble with her gum before answering - "In there."

She may not be gorgeous, but she was very cute. I have seen her do things, at Gord's command of course, that had made my fantasies pale by comparison.

There was a rumour that her old man had broke her in before her mom drove him off - then Gord took her under his wing. She was a hanger on, one of the more regular sluts that Gord enjoyed and employed.

Since she was ignoring me, I stepped past her through the sheet covering the doorway. Gord was rolling a joint and talking in hushed tones with Jason - a guy from his crew - both seated on an old dirty broken down couch. They both looked up at me with disdain and immediately stopped talking. Gord spoke first, "Barry, how is it hanging?"

"Uh... fine Gord."

Jason turned his head away in disgust. I felt like a wart on a horses ass when he was around.

Gord licked his joint along the paper seam and then passed it over to Jason - who attached a roach to it and then lit it. They were ignoring me as they both took a long drag.

I blurted out before I lost my cool, "I just wanted to tell you Gord that I'm in - I'll do it." It was the answer to my sanity, to embrace something outside of what mother was offering - even if it may land me in jail and I knew it to be wrong.

A squeaky bellow behind me, through the sheet curtain, "Did you light it without me Gord?"

"Fuck off Linda!" Jason hated Linda - though, I remembered, he had no problems fucking her.

Linda slipped through the sheet behind me, pressing her round perky tits against my back as she slipped past me. Jason ignored her and passed the joint to Gord - who then passed it to his slave Linda. She took a long drag as Gord looked at me unconvincingly.

"I mean it this time Gord - I'll do it."

Jason took the joint from Linda and took a long drag before mumbling, "Lamer."

Gord nodded his head, seemingly accepting my statement and ignoring Jason's comment. "When are you going to do it?"

My heart was thumping violently in my chest and my head felt dizzy - the room was filled with marijuana smoke, perhaps it was affecting me?

Linda sat at Gord's feet, waiting for her turn as Jason's attention seemed to have moved from me to Linda's perky tits.

"This week."

Gord nodded again, and I think I was starting to convince him that I was ready to do this thing, that I would do whatever it took to become a member of his crew. It was the price of admission evidently. "This week then. Friday - just like we told you right?" Gord took a drag. "Come back with the stuff okay Barry?"

Of course, I thought. "Sure Gord."

Jason leaned forwards and pulled the loose neckline of the tee shirt down below Linda's pert adolescent breast. She took a drag on the joint and did not even seem to notice - neither did Gord. I could not help but take in the wide dark brown nipple as Jason rolled it between thumb and forefinger. It was so different from mothers, looked almost new in comparison.

Linda was available to any of the crew, with Gord's consent of course. There was even a rumour of a second girl - though I had no idea who she may be - that Linda and the second often did each other before taking a train of guys each.

Gord looked at his crew member fondling his slave's tit and smirked, took the joint from her and then unzipped his fly.

Time to leave - I had been forgotten already by the two guys anyway. A last look over my shoulder before exiting the small dungeon-like room, I saw Linda moving her head up and down Gord's hard pink pencil dick even as Jason had the second breast out of her tee-shirt as he roughly fondled her brown nipple.

I was disgusted and feared Gord and his gang - but what was I to do. I just didn't fit in in school - the jocks wanted to beat me up, the cool kids took pleasure in humiliating me when they took the time to notice me. I was under the radar and no one cared.

I shared a Chemistry lab table with a girl named Sara and I was in love with her and no one alive knew it!

Sara was a small mousy girl, always wore her long hair tied up and had thick glasses and was always very shy. She wore skirts and blouses to school each day, flat shoes and often carried her books as if a shield with her arms folded over her chest. She was not beautiful, was no cheer leader nor was she one of the 'in' crowd - but to me I thought she was perfect.

She checked the temperature of the alcohol that was in the Pyrex beaker above the lit bunson burner and wrote down her observation. My job was to slowly stir the alcohol and then to add the 'mystery' chemical after the liquid reached a certain temperature. With a lab partner like Sara, it was easy to look that much smarter.

It was more than grades of course - as I never really was very good in school - it was this girl that I've known since grade one. The shy quiet one - the good girl with the good grades. The one that knew my name but we never spent time outside of school together because we were such an odd mixture. We were comfortable together, as there was never any awkwardness between us that I endured when I try to talk to one of the hot girls in my school, and oddly she seemed to enjoy my company.

"Another minute Barry." I smiled in response... but she never even looked up at me, keeping her eyes riveted to the thermometer.

One of the jocks at the other end of the lab bellowed just before his beaker slipped of the wire rack and smashed to the floor spilling its hot contents. I saw one of his bulky friends behind him smirking triumphantly and was thankful that it was not me they were jerking around. The girl seated next to the jock starred at her partner like he was gum on the bottom of her shoe but he was too dense to even notice. But the rumour was, that same girl was going out with one of the basketball stars even while dating a half-back from the football team - girls were such morons.

Sara looked up at me for only a second and then back down to our work.

Only fifteen more minutes for the class and then our results were due. This lab, with Sara's help of course, should give me a rather good mark. A shudder ran down my spine and ended between my legs - remembering the deal I had with mom. What a time to think about that with Sara standing so close to me, I could smell her lovely hair.

"Now Gord!" Sara sounded excited - this shit always fascinated her.

I tipped the second, smaller, beaker into the boiling liquid as Sara leaned closer to the thermostat. "Slowly... !" I did as directed. Then I saw my partners eyes widen and I knew the desired results were showing up - the temperature of the alcohol was dropping. She quickly returned to our results sheet and began to frantically write.

"Did it work?"

Sara looked up this time to give me a triumphant grin, "Perfectly!" I was able to return a smile before she went back to her notes.

God she had a terrific smile.

Yup, it looked like a good mark for us this time.

"How did your lab test go today honey?" Mom looked up from her meal and waited for an answer. Never before had she been so intent on what or how I was doing in school - it was taking some getting used too.

So much depended upon my answer. "It went well mom." I never mentioned that I was working with Sara - I never spoke her name because I feared someone may read my interest in her and use that knowledge against me.

She smirked out the side of one mouth, making her laugh lines more prominent, "Another 'B' then honey?"

"Probably." Maybe even an 'A' this time believe it or not - but I dare not say that until I was sure.

Mom mumbled beneath her soft smile as she returned to her food, "I can't wait!"

Until just bare days before, I had not seen my mother smile since the day dad said he was leaving us. They lived, what I thought, was a content lifestyle - she seemed to spend most of her waking hours making sure her husband was satisfied. And get your mind out of the gutter, I'm talking about making sure his work clothing was clean and ironed, that the house was spotless how he liked it, that supper was always on the table for him when he got home from work. She was a dutiful and, seemed to be, happy in her life. It obviously shook her when he had left.

With supper over I made my way to my room and sat staring up at the ceiling. Mom would be knocking on my door in an hour, I knew from experience, ready for her show, to hand me her still-warm, and even damp, panty.

I can't lie and say the whole situation did not turn me on - I was going past the boundaries that I had only ever done in fantasies. The largest problem was that it was with my mom and I felt nearly sick because of the fact.

Did I want to fuck mom? I asked my self for the hundredth time.

I did want to fuck Linda... I think. I wanted to belong to something, Linda represented that. Getting a blow job with four other guys sitting around drinking beer and smoking joints was the 'in' thing with this group. And if I was in their group, no one would fuck with me at school or out - I would belong to something. Linda was their willing submissive toy and using her would cement me in with the crew, it would be the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Linda was cute enough, of course, but really was nothing to write home about and I would not even consider her if not for Gord. But then, for this virgin, any chance for female flesh was worth any risk right?

Then there was Sara. She, I did not simply want to have sex with. My fantasies make my face flush with embarrassment - as they were more of the romantic type than hyper-sexual. I wanted to be her hero, I wanted her to look at me the way mom looks at me now - as if I only needed to nod and she would sit upon my lap and allow me to kiss her.

And mom... well, I had sex with mom in so many different ways and places in my mind, but in the post-orgasmic awareness I thought it would be wrong in so many ways to fulfil any of those fantasies. I loved her, you know what I mean. I even felt sorry for her how dad just abandoned us, left her for a new version. Mom had always been a mystery to me - a woman and an old person. She unsuccessfully tried to hid the pain of her divorce and probably even her loneliness as well - but it was obvious to me in the emptiness of her eyes. Only these last weeks, as things have heated up between us had something returned there - a passion that I don't ever recall seeing before. I wanted that for her, I wanted her to be happy.

Did I want to fuck her though? I mean outside the realm of fantasy? I certainly can't blame her for everything that has gone on between us - I didn't have to put up with her crazy offers, to even reach out and fondle her when she walked past me. I blame my dick and not my mind - my dick got hard when I saw mom bend over, seeing her bare ass beneath a long tee-shirt, or tasted her warm moist full lips upon my own. My mind knew it was wrong, knew that my life would be ruined if anyone found out what was going on in our house - but at such times my dick was in charge.