Chapter 23

Brock and Lauren both got it immediately. Courtney and Lisa were still processing the comment when Brock said, "But will it work?" and Lauren said, "Oh my god!" at about the same instant.

"I don't know," I said to Brock. "You tell me. As I understand the ... the rules for this thing, it should. Right?"

"Well," said Brock. "I don't know. I mean, didn't he have to get people under the dish before he transported them?"

"This may sound like a lawyerly distinction, or I may be full of shit," I replied, "But, no, we don't know that. We know that's what he did, sure. But did he have to?"

"Well, why would—" Brock started.

"Hear me out," I commanded. "For a super-villain, this guy sucks. What has he really done with all the power at his fingertips? Nothing, really. I mean no offense," I added hastily, "because I know he did a lot of terrible things to people in this room right now. But I was thinking a second ago — why isn't he living in a heavily-armored Playboy Mansion From Hell? Why hasn't he found a way to erase us all? We've been treating him like he's Lex Luthor, and I think he's more like Lex Loser. His entire modus operandi since getting hold of the reins of this machine has been to indulge in rape, rape, rape, always by means of making his victims compliant. There have been no grand schemes, no brilliant rewrites of the fabric of history to make him a superstar. We're getting beat, sure, because even a ten-year-old with a Howitzer can do some damage. But we're not up against someone who invented this thing and is using it like a super-genius would. We're up against someone who stole it and is using it to make women into masturbatory devices for his fantasy world."

I paused to take a deep breath. "That's why I'm not persuaded that just because Lex Loser didn't think of something, it can't be done." I looked around to see four heads nodding in agreement.

"Well, Brock?" I asked after a moment. "Can it be done?"

He looked scared. "I don't know."

"Why not?" I asked calmly. "It seems to me that we just add in another line to the 'Stud Mode' thing. Right now it's, 'Rejuvenate Victor's nutsack.' After we get done it's 'Rejuvenate Victor's nutsack, and re-write Victor's location to be in front of us right now.'"

"Yeah, I get that," he said. "And there is a 'Change Locations' routine in there and we've all seen it used. But every time it's been used, the person being moved was enumerated under the disk."

"I know," I said. "But is it necessary?"

"I don't know," he said miserably. "I just don't know enough about this thing."

"Can we try? What will it hurt?"

"Well..." he paused. "Nothing, I guess. It will either work or not work, I guess." He still looked troubled.

"What?" I asked.

"I just hate doing something without testing it," he said.

"Well, your Professor Frink routine got me here safe and sound, didn't it?"

"Yeah, but for all I know, I tested the hell out of it first," he replied, finally grinning a bit.

"Well, let's live a little," I said. "Brock, can you set this up so he just appears right in front of us?"

"I can try," he said firmly.

"Now, before anything happens," I said, "I want everyone to be clear on this. We are undertaking the murder of a human being. This guy is tricky and cunning and a grade A sonofabitch. I am absolutely convinced that we can't let him near the controls of this machine again. We can do our best to undo all the erasing he did of everyone, but we can't hold a gun on him and tell him to give up and we really really mean it this time. He's a snake, a poisonous snake, and he needs to be dead. I will do it. But if anyone objects, let's hear it now."

Lisa stirred and seemed about to say something, but then lapsed back into silence. Lauren's mouth was tightly set, and she seemed pale, but she nodded. Courtney nodded once, making a get-on-with-it gesture, and Brock didn't even look up from his keyboard.

"OK," I said resolutely. "If it were done, when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly," I said.

Lauren cocked an eye at me. "But this blow might be the be-all and the end-all here, but here, upon this bank and shoal of time, we'll jump the life to come."

"Yeah, well, wasn't there also something about 'even handed justice?'" I asked her.

She grinned in response. "Someday soon, Rick, I'll find one you don't know."

I retrieved the Ruger, pocketed freshly loaded extra clips, and then held up my finger. "Wait one," I said.

I was back in the room moments later, carrying a fire ax from the hallway — a rather interesting anachronism I had noticed earlier and now resolved to put to good use. I offered it to Brock, who took it grimly. "Now, I intend to put a full clip into this guy the moment he pops into view. I hope you can then zap his body away if the cops are called and knock on the door. But if something happens and I can't do it, use this," I said. "Take the fucker's head off."

I took a deep breath.

"Last chance for any new ideas," I said lightly. And after a moment of no responses, I nodded at Brock. "Do it."

I heard a few clicks of the laptop keys, and then a pause, while Brock drew his own deep breath. And then...

... then my world was sparkles of light.

It only lasted for an instant, and in that instant everything changed.

I thought we must have forgotten something, some semicolon or line break. I couldn't even blame Brock; he had wanted to test the system. Sorry, Brock. You were right.

We were all in place, all of us except Brock, looking at a room I had seen before, good ol' room B3F44. We were on the raised platform, and sure enough, Victor was right in front of us. I guess we didn't think to specify that he should be brought to us instead of the other way around. I was running on autopilot and brought the pistol halfway up, ready to shoot him. But he wasn't alone.

He was lying on some sort of elaborate circular bed, naked, with two girls. They were sitting on top of him, one on his face and one on his crotch, undulating and kissing each other. If I had not already seen enough of his hairy body to last me a lifetime, I wouldn't have known it was him.