Chapter 2

The following morning was a Sunday and I woke feeling like I had been in a ten round fight, one that I lost. Butch told me he had some things to do that morning so to make myself at home. I got up, cleaned up and dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. I checked for food, found some eggs and had an egg sandwich. Simple fare but it hit the spot. I was just sitting around trying to decide what to do when the phone rang. I decided to answer just in case it was him. It was.

"Hey, bro! Everything alright? Did you get something to eat? I don't keep much as you can see."

"Thanks Butch. Yeah, I'm good. Egg sandwich and a shower and I feel like a new man."

"Well, just wanted to let you know. I talked with Marty this morning, just to get the lay of the land. Don't say anything smart about that neither. You might want to call Dee and let her talk. I know how it sounds but it might be worth your while to hear what she has to say."

"Shit Butch. What could she say that would make a difference? She's been fucking around on me and that's the end of it."

"Just call bro. Marty told me some shit that just might be true, but I don't trust her no further than I can throw her, so just call and talk to Dee, OK? You're a buddy and I want to see you do the right thing. If you want to do what we talked about after you talk to her, I'm good. Just talk to her first, OK?"

If it was important to him, I'd do it, but it sounded like Martha had done some conning of her own. She and Dee had talked and made up some shit. Probably support for any lies Dee told me. Two of a kind. But, I would do it because I promised.

I got a cup of coffee and went into the small den to call. Butch's apartment was a two bedroom with a large open space that included the kitchen, table and what passed as a living room. There was a couch where I spent the night. The little den was too small to be of any use for anything except maybe a home office, if the business was one telephone and a computer. But, it boasted a nice office chair and I felt comfortable in one of those. Like at work. Business! I picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Hello Dee. It's me. Sorry about last night but I just had to get out of there before I did something I would regret later."

"Pete! Thank God. I had no idea where you were. I called Marty and she called Butch and he wouldn't tell us anything but he said he would get word to you."

"Yeah, he called. Wanted to be sure I called you. I figure you got your story straight with Marty so she could sell him a line of bullshit so he would call me. Well, I'm calling."

"Pete. That is so not the case. Please come home so we can talk. You stormed out last night before I could tell you anything. Please, come home and talk to me."

"You told me all I needed to know last night. You and Marty, fucking those guys. Seems your guy is Jack's right hand man. I guess you were a reward from Jack for sticking by his mistress. I guess the two of them can set you both up in a love nest. Maybe you can take turns."

"Pete! It isn't like that. I'm not sleeping with him! I've never been unfaithful that way to you. Never! You're the only man I've been with since we've been married. You have to believe that."

"Sorry. I don't believe you. You were with him Saturday afternoon alone for over an hour and a half. In his car. Alone. I couldn't follow you to see where you went but I imagine it was somewhere you could be alone. Did you do him in the backseat of his car in some parking lot?"

There was nothing but sobbing on the other end. I knew I was being cruel but when you hurt, you want to lash out and hurt the one that hurt you. I was hurting. That was my only excuse.

"Pete. Please. You have to come home and talk to me. You have to. You owe me that much. If you don't believe me afterwards, fine. But you have to give me a chance to explain to you what happened."

"Fine! I'll be there in an hour. You can talk yourself sick. Goodbye!"

Why I agreed to go, I don't know. What did I expect to do besides hear more words that would hurt and wound. She had hurt me enough already even without knowing what she had done. Why punish myself more? Maybe, because, deep down inside, I was hoping that this was all a mistake, a misunderstanding, a bad dream that I would wake from soon? Even though I knew better, my subconscious wasn't giving up. Even with the love gone, pride forced me to hope for something I could hold onto.

At almost 11:00 exactly, I pulled up to my house and sat in the driveway, just looking at it. It was a single level ranch that was what everyone called 'rambling'. It was actually very large and had four bedrooms, formal living and dining rooms, a small office and a huge great room. The kitchen was large and well appointed and it boasted an eating nook that overlooked the in-ground pool. I remember the sun glinting off the water yesterday morning waking me up. Was it just yesterday?

With a sigh, I got out of the car and walked to the front door. As I did, I automatically noticed that the grass could use cutting and the shrubs in the front needed a trim. I rarely saw the house from the front so this was sort of new. I made a mental note to call the service that cut my grass. I went on to the front door and rang the bell.

It took a few seconds but she finally came to the door. When she saw it was me, she looked surprised.

"Pete." What are you doing at the front door? You never come in this way. Why didn't you use the garage door like always?"

"I don't feel like I live here anymore. Nothing feels the same now. Everything is different, especially you. It feels different, is all."

"Pete, please come in and stop talking that way. Nothing is different. Everything is the same as it was, we just have to talk together and figure it out. That's all it is."

I walked into the foyer and stopped to look around. It seemed the same but I wasn't used to seeing it from this angle. I noticed things. The furniture she picked out for the entrance way; the formal dining table set with placemats and silver, the large bouquet of flowers in the center; the narrow glimpse into the living room with its sectional couch and matching everything; and Delia, standing there in a short, yellow sundress that showed off her tanned shoulders and just a hint of cleavage. I had to admit, she was still one of the most beautiful women I knew.

I didn't speak as I looked around and then I moved away from her, toward the kitchen. I wanted this to be on neutral territory and the kitchen was as neutral as I could get. We had a designer redo the kitchen some years back and everything was his. I didn't look back as I took a seat at the table.

Dee came in and moved to the counter where she had a fresh pot of coffee and a plate of shortbread cookies, the ones I loved. She set them down in the center of the table and took the chair opposite me. She looked wonderful. Her hair was brushed back and she had taken the time to make herself up to look her best. She had succeeded. But, that wasn't the point. I had always loved her and I had seen her at her best and worst and loved both extremes. Nothing she did would have changed my mind, except for this. This was too much.

"Pete. I want to tell you everything but you have to let me say it. You can't just hear part of it and then get mad. I have to explain it all to you. So please. Promise me you'll hear it all. Not just what you want to hear, but all of it."

I looked at her and could see the fear in her eyes. It made me uncomfortable to think that I had put it there but then I remembered it wasn't me. Her actions had done this. I would never hurt her physically and she knew it. The fear was of losing: me, the marriage and our future together. That was the fear.

"I promise to listen to all of it. Every dirty little part of it. And don't worry. I have never hit you and I never will. You know that. But I will get angry. That I can't control. I can only promise to try to let you finish without losing it."

"Thank you. That's all I need: for you to hear it all. And I never felt in danger from you. Never. Even when you were so angry and hurt. I knew you would never hurt me physically."

She sat straight in the chair, her hands in front of her and clasped together on the table. "This all started about a month or so before Marty and Butch filed for divorce. She had been telling me about his affairs and how he was going out at all hours and screwing around on her. She said she knew all about it and had him followed. She said she had proof."

I had to interrupt. I know I promised and I would keep my promise but I wasn't going to let this kind of shit go unchallenged.

"So you're telling me this has been going on for over what, seven or eight months? You've been cheating on me for that long? And what proof? Did she ever show you any proof? And how did she know all this? Who was her PI? This is all bullshit and if this is what you're going to tell me, then I might as well leave now!"

'Wait! Pete, wait! Nothing has been 'going on' as you put it. And I said I was going to tell you everything and this is what she told me! I know it's not true now, but at the time, I had no reason to doubt her. I believed her!"

I sat down and let her go on. I began to feel that this was going to be a bullshit session but I promised and, by God, I would stick to my promise.

"She started to tell me about Jack Mason. She had met him at one of the company functions and they had become friends. He was the one that she said told her to hire the PI. He said he knew Butch and he would see what he could find out about him. And over the next couple of weeks, she told me that he told her that he knew of at least three women Butch was messing around with. When he was supposed to be driving, he was actually screwing around with one of these women."

I was shaking my head, and I had to butt in.

"And you believed all of this shit! I can't believe you were that stupid. The woman I married wasn't that stupid or gullible. When the hell did you get this dumb!"

"I know it sounds crazy now, but at the time it didn't. It was about the same time that Marty started asking me if I knew where you were all the time. At first, I didn't even think about it but then later, I started to notice you were often late for dinner and had to go back in late at night and other things. She kept at me and I began to become suspicious."

"Anyway, I started to think about it and I began to believe that you could be cheating on me. I watched and tried to be calm about it but you never told me what you were doing and I became more and more suspicious."

"I finally convinced myself that you were actually cheating on me. That's why you went back after supper and why you came home late some evenings. You were with your lover!"

"That's it! This is all bullshit and I can't sit still for this. I know I promised, but I can't. You're trying to make this all my fault and it's just bullshit!"

I got up, kicked back the chair, knocking it over as I stormed out of the kitchen. I had all I could take of this.

"I'll call you later, after I calm down enough to stand the sight of you."

"Pete! Wait! Please!"

I went out the front door, down the two steps and into my car. Again, I drove away just to get far enough out of sight to stop and calm myself down. This was all crap! I should have known! Crap from the beginning to the end. She just wanted an excuse to fuck somebody else and then blame it on me. Well, I wasn't going to stand for it.

An hour later I was sitting in a little café drinking a coke, watching my sorry life evaporate like the bubbles in my glass. I had called Butch to let him know where I was and sure enough, he came striding in and sat down beside me.

"Hey buddy. You can't do any real thinking with a soft drink. Come on back to the apartment and we'll have a couple of beers and a shot or two. That's what you need for good thinking."

Damn if he wasn't right. We did and it was better.

"Now, here's what I think. You and me, we need to go get those sumabitches and tear them both new assholes. You know Jack: he's a real pussy! And that asshole, what's his name: he's an even bigger pussy! You and me can take em out!"

I kind of liked the idea. Maybe if I had another shot, it would help me make up my mind. I did and it did.

"I think it's a damn fine idea. And the asshole's name is Phil. Real pussy name. When should we do this thing? Now?"

"Naw! Today's Sunday, the Lord's day. You can't do shit like that on the Lord's Day!"

"OK, we'll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow is good. Tomorrow isn't the Lord's day is it?"

"I don't think so. I think just Saturday and Sunday, or something like that. Let's do it anyway, tomorrow. We'll wait for them after work."

That was about all I could remember after I woke up later that afternoon. Butch and I had shot most of the daylight hours drinking and making plans. But, strange, that I didn't feel hung over. I actually felt pretty good. Good enough that I decided to call Dee. I went back into the little den and called.

"Hello? Pete is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me. How are you?"

"What do you mean how am I? You stormed out of here without giving me the time to explain like you promised. You promised not to take just parts of what I said. I never got the chance to finish. You promised!"

She was crying and hiccupping again, trying to get the words out. Damn, she was good at that. Sympathy move.

"I know what I promised. I just have a hard time with this bullshit you're throwing at me. Now you have me cheating on you and that's a damn lie. I'm supposed to sit there calmly when you tell me that shit?"

"I'm only telling you what I thought at the time! I talked myself into believing it along with Marty urging me on. I see it now, but not then. That's what you didn't let me say!"

OK, that calmed me down a little but I just didn't see how I could take this.

"Dee, we have a problem. You're telling me all this stuff that you believed and you fell for and that's what made you do what you did and I'm having a real problem accepting that you were that stupid. It all sounds like a convenient excuse to me."

"It's not an excuse. It's the reason I did what I did. I'm not accusing you of anything and I know you never cheated on me. I'm just trying to show you how confused I was. That's all."

"Well, if I accept that you were confused and you thought I was cheating, why were you so quick to doubt me and accept someone else's word? Where was the trust and the faith in me? I think the truth was that you thought you had a green light to do anything you wanted with anyone you wanted. That's what I think. So how about we cut to the chase?"

Silence. Just a few little sniffles but no sobbing now. Maybe she knew it was almost over. Maybe she knew that the battle was lost and it was time to cut her loses.

"OK. If you come home, I'll get to the part about Phillip. That's the part you need to hear about. Please come home. Now, while I have the courage to tell you."

"I'm on my way."

I checked on Butch, but he was sound asleep. I jotted my whereabouts on a note and stuck it to the last of the beers in the six pack. Butch would probably sleep through till tomorrow but still. I wanted to be a polite guest.

I drove home again and this time, went in the garage way. I had made my point earlier. She was sitting right where I left her, at the table. I walked over and took my seat, pouring a cup of coffee from the pot on the table. She took it from me, walked over to the microwave and gave it a minute. It was the same pot as before. One of the things that was puzzling me was why I kept ending up with cold coffee!

Dee started right in, no delay, no buildup. "After the divorce, I spent a lot of time with Marty. She didn't really seem down at all but I thought she was hiding it. So, I went over almost every day. She seemed fine but she was still seeing Jack, which I thought was strange. I found out that he was married and mentioned it to her but she said he was going to leave his wife. At least, that's what she told me."