Chapter 7: Care to repeat that?

Thanks to Jim for editing!

The ride kept spinning, disorienting everything with the flashing lights... I was terrified that someone would see us because of those lights, but it was difficult to concentrate on anything other than Aaron's tongue in my mouth and our foreheads knocking together with the jolting of the boat.

But the kiss... maybe it wasn't the greatest, but what kiss is when you're being jerked around and drowned by an amusement park ride? It was still a kiss. And I kissed him back... at least, as best as I could until the lights became brighter, then I seemed to panic a little and come to my senses as I placed my hand firmly on his chest and shoved him away. He had been kissing me so hard that it actually hurt to separate.

"Stop!" I don't even know if he heard me over the screams, but I didn't care at this point, too much was going through my head as I faced forward and waited for the ride to end.

Aaron was gay. Well, yeah, obviously. Maybe that's what I'd sensed when I was around him before. This whole kissing thing certainly cleared up any doubt in my mind when it came to whether or not he had been flirting with me that first night, though.

Aaron kissed me. Yes he did. And I kissed him back, didn't I? And it was my first kiss, and it still had my head spinning, and it was taking all of my control to keep from looking at him, maybe even grabbing him to kiss him again, just to see what my second kiss would be like... But it was also taking all of my control to stay buckled in my seat, rather than jumping overboard to escape my boat-mate. Aaron Keslin.

Why did it have to be him? Why did it have to be someone who Luke hated? Someone who I didn't even trust after hearing his history... Why did it have to be him, to give me my first kiss? What was going to happen now? I was supposed to be forgetting about Aaron. How could I do that after this?

I slightly shook my head, letting the shock wear off as I realized that we'd slowed down and there was light shining on my face from the end of the tunnel. The ride was almost over, and so was this interesting encounter with Aaron. I glanced over at him again and noticed he was also looking straight ahead with an unnaturally tranquil look on his face. When he caught me staring at him he turned his head, though, and raised a sharp eyebrow at me as if to ask, what? I gave him an incredulous look in response and he laughed.

"You think this is funny?" I hissed as the ride came to an end.

"I think you should call me," was his response as he unbuckled and stepped over me the same way that Luke had, so I was forced to lean back in my seat and lift my head to look up at him as he stepped over my knees. And there he was. The boy I kissed. I couldn't seem to stop staring... until I realized that he wasn't moving, just standing there, straddling my legs.

"Move it!" I ordered, coming to my senses as I reached for my own buckle.

"Will you call me?" Aaron asked, sounding a lot less confident than he had a few seconds ago.

What the hell kind of question was that?

Okay, it was a good one. I know that there was that little voice in my head, telling me to stay away from Aaron, but he'd just kissed me. And all hormones aside, he'd just kissed me. I'd never had the opportunity to talk to anyone else who was gay before. I'd never known anyone else. I was curious, wanting to speak to someone who was like me.

I wanted to know if Aaron was like I was, carrying around a secret that he was too afraid to tell the people around him. Or maybe Aaron was different. Maybe he was gay and he didn't care who knew about it. Maybe he'd already told people, and could tell me how they reacted. The only people who knew about me were Grandma Alice, and of course my mom... I'd never been brave enough to tell a friend. I wasn't even brave enough to tell the people who I was living with.

And then there was that fact that at one time Aaron had been friends with Luke. Maybe Luke knew that Aaron was gay. Maybe Aaron could tell me how Luke reacted to it if he did know. Maybe that would give me an idea whether or not I was safe here if someone did find out about me.

"I don't know," I replied honestly."Will you please move?"

Aaron smiled with a shrug and finished stepping over my legs as I hurried to unbuckle.

"Well, you have my number," he said. "I'd like to hear from you, Rory." And with that he turned to walk away, and I cringed for him when he stopped abruptly, coming face to face with an agitated-looking Luke.

"What are you doing here?" Luke demanded as I scrambled out of my seat, feeling panicked. I think I was afraid that Luke would take one look at us and know something had happened. Logically I knew it was impossible for him to know that we'd just been kissing, we had been too deep in the ride then, but I was still worried about him catching me with Aaron, even if this was in no way my fault.

"Hey, Luke," Aaron replied, and I saw his shoulders relax as he got over the shock of running into the blond. Luke just glared at him and then looked at me as I finally managed to get out of the boat, my legs feeling shaky.

"Are you okay, Rory?"

"Yeah," I said quickly."I'm ready to go, though."

I passed Aaron without looking at him, but had to pause when Luke continued to stand there, glaring at Aaron. But, he didn't say anything else. Instead he turned and followed me away from the guy he seemed to despise so much.

"Was he bothering you?" Luke asked me.

"Um, no... he just showed up on the ride," I replied."Kinda took me off guard."

"Don't forget to call me, Rory," Aaron suddenly called from behind me, making me jump. I can't believe he did that. Luke gave me an inquisitive look, but all I could offer him in response was a small shrug, as if I didn't know what was going on. It wasn't a complete lie... I didn't know.

...

I knew I should have asked Eddie when the mailman came. It would have saved me the trouble of sitting outside in the heat half of the day, waiting on the front steps of the house with Chey. It had been a strange morning, waking up and eating breakfast with everyone, and being the only one who didn't have a place to go. Eddie offered to take the day off and spend it with me, but honestly, I thought we'd spent enough time together over the weekend. This was still new to me, and I didn't want to spend so much time with him that it felt like he was smothering me. I needed a break.

But, I still hated being alone. I definitely missed Luke. I'd gotten so used to it being just the two of us during the day that I hated he was working. Chey's company wasn't bad, it just wasn't the same. But, she did sit with me all morning while we waited for the mailman to come. And when he finally did, I was on my feet with Chey at my heels as we beat him to the mailbox. The older man gave me a smile as he handed over a stack of mail and I gave him a small wave as I whistled for Chey, which was unnecessary because she was still with me, as I headed back into the house, flipping through the envelopes as I went.

I had been waiting--not so patiently--for Grandma Alice's expected 'something' to arrive. Unfortunately, as I flipped through their mail, there was nothing. At least, nothing that I was looking for. I was half tempted to call up Grandma Alice to accuse her of making up this so-called message from my mother just to drive me crazy. But, I was already in enough trouble with her, and calling would only end up making me feel worse, I knew that much. And now, after waiting all morning and having nothing to show for it, all that was left to do was to wait for tomorrow and go through the whole thing again.

So, now that I was no longer waiting for the mailman, and thinking about what he was supposed to bring, I had plenty of time to think about other things. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

As I dropped the mail in the kitchen and then headed to my room for a pair of swim trunks, I thought about my mom, and wondered over what she had to say, and wondered why she couldn't have told me when she was alive--whatever it was.

I wondered about Eddie. I wondered if whatever was coming would change the way I saw him once again, and I wondered if whatever it was would help him forgive my mother. Because even if Eddie seemed okay with it, I didn't have to be a mind reader to know that he was angry with my mom. He'd said that he was sure she had a reason for it, and he'd never said anything bad about her, at least as far as I could tell. But, he was definitely angry, and for some reason that made me uneasy. I didn't like the idea of Eddie having unsettled anger towards my mother. Maybe it was because she wasn't here to defend herself, or maybe it was because of the previous tension between Eddie and me, and I was looking for reasons to continue disliking him... I'm not sure, but the idea of Eddie being angry with Mom, was upsetting, even if I was mad at her too.

I tried to shake all of the circulating thoughts from my head when I made it out to the pool and stepped in, allowing my body to sink to the bottom as always. But this time, instead of an attempt to think peaceful thoughts about my mom, I tried to think about anything but her. Every time Mom entered my mind I went back to the same thing: she lied to me. And when I thought about how she lied to me, I needed an explanation for it, and I'd end up right where I'd started, wondering when Alice's package would arrive. But, at the same time, not thinking about all of this left my mind open to more thoughts that I'd been trying to avoid since yesterday.

Aaron. I suppose it was normal for someone my age to let his first kiss consume his every waking thought, and I guess I was no exception. That kiss had been in the back of my mind since it happened. Unfortunately, while the surrounding circumstances allowed me to think about that kiss, they prevented me from doing anything about it. It wasn't that I wanted to do something about it, though... and even if I did... what could I do? It was Aaron.

Just because Aaron kissed me didn't mean that anything had changed since Luke told me what happened between the two of them. Except now Aaron was gay... and he kissed me... and I kissed him back. And he asked me to call him and I was seriously beginning to think about it. Shit.

I knew I shouldn't be thinking it, but with a phone so close, it was hard for me not to go call Aaron. There were just too many things I wanted to ask him, and having been kissed like that was not exactly something that I could just forget about. After all, it had never happened to me before. I wasn't sure what to think of it, and I really wanted to talk to someone about it.

I wasn't exactly one of those people who was good at keeping quiet when something so... momentous happened to them. Unfortunately, this was something that I could really only discuss with one person. Aaron. I mean, I suppose I could always talk to Grandma Alice, she knew about me... But then again, calling her about my first kiss would just be asking for a world of trouble, and not to mention the millions I'd be paying a shrink in the future when I realized that the one phone call ended up being the root of all my problems. Nope. I wouldn't be calling her.

I allowed my body to float, just below the bottom of the pool, not feeling the need to breathe yet as I looked up, the sun appearing distorted above me as it shined down over the pool. I wondered what I would do for the rest of the day. I hoped at some point I could stop thinking altogether, but seriously, I was supposed to be on my own until everyone got back from work. No mail. No one to talk to. The echo of a barking dog...

Chey.

I kicked off the bottom of the pool and when I surfaced, it was to the sight of Luke standing over me, trying to keep Chey at bay as she jumped up, determined to lick his face for a proper greeting. His jeans were filthy, and his shirt wasn't much better; it also looked like Luke had been profusely sweating under his helmet, but he was smiling. I smiled back, although I found myself annoyed that he looked good even when he looked like shit.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"The job site's not that far," he explained. "I thought I'd come home for lunch and see what you were up to. I'm kinda surprised to see you back here, though. I half expected you to be out front waiting on the mail."

"The mail's in the kitchen," I replied with a slight frown, disappointment coming back to haunt me.

"Nothing from your grandma?" Luke actually looked disappointed too, and I had to smile at that.

"Not yet."

"Sorry, Rory... maybe it'll be here tomorrow."

I sighed. "I can hope."

"Hey, are you hungry? I could use some company while I eat. I can't really stay long."

"Sure," I agreed. I wasn't exactly hungry, but I happened to need the company too, and Luke was perfect for that. He reached down, offering me his hand so I took it and let him pull me out of the pool.

"You know, you should find something to distract yourself with," Luke commented as he passed me my towel and I started to pat myself dry before I wrapped it around my waist. "If you're not thinking about it, time will fly by and the next thing you know you'll be holding that package."

I looked at Luke and smiled, knowing that he was right. I just wished that the thoughts I was distracting myself with were less stressful than waiting for that package. Unfortunately, constantly thinking about Aaron was just as stressful, if not more so, than thinking about what was coming in the mail. And now that Luke was there, that craving to talk to someone about what had happened on that ride was coming back.

I guess if I really thought about it... after being around Luke pretty much constantly since I'd been there, I felt like I knew him. But more than that, I felt like I could trust him. I'd been afraid of what might happen if anyone here found out that I was gay, but if I went with my gut instincts, the way I had when I told my mom about it, I really didn't think that it would matter to Luke. I mean, he seemed to like everyone, except for Aaron, and he had a good enough reason not to like Aaron. Maybe he wouldn't judge me based on the fact that I was gay. But, just because I didn't think he'd make a big deal out of it, didn't mean that I wasn't afraid to tell him for other reasons. Even if Luke was okay with it, and we could still get along just fine, I was afraid that he might see me differently if he knew the truth. He probably wouldn't be walking around naked anymore--that was probably a good thing--but still, I liked the relationship we were developing. I liked that I had someone to sit around and just be one of the guys with. I didn't exactly want things to change between Luke and me. Besides, even if I wanted to tell him, it's not like it would be the best idea in the world to talk to him about Aaron, anyway. He wasn't exactly neutral in that area.

"Rory?" Luke's voice cut into my thoughts. I blinked and realized that Luke was now at the door, looking back and regarding me curiously. Apparently, I'd been spacing out. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, forcing a smile as I moved towards the house. "Yeah."

"Come on," Luke insisted, clasping my shoulder and pushing me in ahead of him. "Come have lunch with me and we'll see if we can't get your mind off of things. What do you think about doing something tonight?"

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously, smiling at his abrupt subject change.

"Well, I know Eddie and Jase wanted us all to do dinner together, but maybe afterwards we can get out of the house for a while. How's your foot feeling?"

"Better," I replied, glancing down as I wiggled my toes. The cut still hurt every once in a while, but most of the time it wasn't really noticeable to me.

"Cool, do you think you'll be up for going on a hike tonight?" And then he teasingly added, "I promise to carry you home if you sit on another cactus."

"That won't be happening," I said, laughing. "And sure, why not? I'll probably be going stir-crazy by then, anyway. You know... it's weird, Luke. When I got here, I was so ready to avoid everyone, and now it feels like I'll go out of my mind with everyone working all summer."

"It won't be all summer," Luke replied, as we reached the kitchen and he immediately opened the refrigerator and began to pull food out and pile it on the table. "We'll probably be taking vacations, and besides, you'll find something to do with your time. The guys will probably be dropping in on you every once in a while too... actually, if you want I can drop you off somewhere on my way back to work."

"No," I said after a moment of thinking. "Thanks, Luke, but I'd probably just get lost, anyway. I'll just jump back in the pool when you go--that should keep me busy for a few hours; and afterwards... I'll find something."

"The attic," Luke suddenly said, around a mouthful of food. He'd started to eat sandwich pieces before he even put the sandwiches together, so while he ate I washed my hands and moved over to the counter to do it for him.

"Huh?"

"The attic," he repeated. "You haven't really done much exploring, right? There's all sorts of old pictures and stuff in the attic. Probably some funny ones of Eddie and Jase. I mean, if you're bored you might want to check it out."

"Maybe I will," I said, shruggingnoncommittally. After Eddie showed me that album with pictures of my mother I was too worried about finding more. Maybe on a day when I wasn't trying not to be reminded of her I'd be interested, but today was not one of those days.

"Seriously," Luke insisted. "You should go up there and check it out. I mean, you might be interested in some of the stuff you'll find."

"Alright, if I get completely bored I'll go up to the attic," I promised, and passed him a pile of sandwiches.

"Fine," he said, rolling his eyes."So, are you sure you don't want a ride anywhere? I've gotta get going."

"No.I'll just see you later."

"Alright. Have fun."

He took the sandwiches from me and after he grabbed a coke from the refrigerator, I walked him to the front door and watched from inside as he got in his car and waved before he pulled out of the driveway. He hadn't exactly been home for very long, but I had to admit that just seeing Luke for a few minutes had broken up my day some. I just wished that he could have stayed longer.

I was just about to close the door as Luke disappeared down the road when something caught my eye and I held the door, staring at the brown truck as it neared the house. My stomach was in my throat by the time it parked on the street, and the next thing I knew I was running out of the house barefoot, with a towel around my waist and snatching the small package out of the UPS guy's hands before he was even out of his truck.

"Expecting something?" he asked as I inspected the package only long enough to confirm that it was Grandma Alice's handwriting on it.

"Yeah," I said, smiling as I took the pen he was holding out for me so I could sign for it. "Thanks."

I wasted no time bringing it safely inside. This was definitely a surprise... and the moment I'd been anticipating. My knuckles were white, holding onto it before I even got inside. I brought it straight to the kitchen, with Chey on my heels, and after grabbing the nearest knife I flipped the package over on the table, ready to cut it open and... stopped.

Rory,

Don't you dare open this without Eddie. It's for both of you, and I'll find out if did. Make sure you're keeping warm.

Love,

Grandma Alice

No. Not fair. The evil, vile, woman. I gritted my teeth and lifted the knife anyway. The hell with what she said. I could always say that I didn't see the note before it was too late... only... God, this was so not fair.

At that moment, I truly wished that I still hated Eddie's guts. If I hated him, then that package would be opened and to hell with everyone else. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Ever since I found out that Eddie wasn't just a deadbeat, I'd been trying to at least respect him. And the truth was, he deserved to know what was in that package as much as I did.

But I wanted to open it, damn it.

I lifted the knife and cut again, getting as far as puncturing the tape before I stopped and inwardly cursed myself. I'd say that I was just trying to respect my elders but that would be a crock of shit. The truth was, I was developing a conscience when it came to Eddie. I knew that if the situation were reversed, and he'd gotten it first, then I'd want him to wait for me. Then again, Eddie probably had a lot more patience than I did. But, I dropped the knife anyway... not that I was about to give up.

I went straight the refrigerator. Before Eddie left this morning, he'd left a list of numbers that I thought were pointless, until now, as I scrolled down the piece of paper until I found the listing for Eddie work. A second later I had the phone in my hand and I was dialing.

I impatiently waited through the recording of the office location, phone numbers, and a lot of other information that wasn't going to do me any good at the moment, and then finally I heard Eddie's name, pushed the number two on the phone and waited as it started to ring. I was both disappointed and annoyed when a woman answered instead of Eddie.

"Can I talk to Eddie Soarda please?" I asked.

"Are you a client?" the woman wanted to know.

"No, I'm..."

"I'm sorry. Eddie Soarda is currently in court. If you'd like to speak to another attorney I can transfer you."

"No. I don't want to talk to an attorney. I need to talk to Eddie," I said, frowning. "Do you know when he'll be back?"

"No, I don't. Would you like his voice mail?"

"There's no way I can talk to him?" I asked impatiently, and then decided to add, "it's sort of a family emergency."

"You're family?" she asked, sounding somewhat surprised.

"I'm... his son," I admitted, the words sounding strange to me, but I hoped that the admission would get me somewhere.

"Right," she replied skeptically. "I'll transfer you to voice mail. Please hold."

"Wait!" I didn't bother to hold back the groan that escaped me when the line clicked over, and a few moments later I was speaking to Eddie's voice mail, saying that the package had arrived, and mentioning, on no uncertain terms, that I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to wait before I tore it open, with or without him.

And then I waited. Again.

...

I treaded the water slowly, back and forth across the pool, inwardly humming the theme song from Jaws and continuously glaring towards the package which I'd left on the patio table. Every part of me was dying to jump out of the pool and go rip the damn thing open. And why shouldn't I? It was from my mom. The answers to why certain things affected my life, were in that box. At least, they were supposed to be. I should be able to open it... and it wasn't like I hadn't warned Eddie that I would open it if he didn't get home fast enough. Sure, I said it to a recording, and so far I'd only given him fifteen minutes, but I just didn't have a whole lot of patience left at this point.

When I pulled myself out of the pool twenty minutes later, I was surprised when I didn't go straight for the package. Actually, I was purposely avoiding it as I went over to a chair in the sun to sit and dry off for a few minutes, and while I sat there I tried to be as patient as possible, straining my ears, listening for what would hopefully be the sound of Eddie pulling up, ready to open this package with me. But, as I sat there, feeling frustrated and impatient, something else happened. I started to feel nervous, and a little scared.