Chapter 32B

"Was your mom interested in art?" Seth asked, and I shook my head.

"The only thing I ever saw her paint were the walls in our apartment."

We were stretched out on my bed, which was much smaller than Seth's, but that was okay because it meant being close. I had Seth's head on my shoulder and his hat was off, which meant that my fingers were free to roam through his soft strands of hair while he looked through my mom's wish list. We'd talked about it before, and when he asked to see it, I was actually a little more than happy to share it with him. It was a way of being able to show him a part of who my mom was, and it didn't hurt that Seth seemed genuinely interested, especially in my mom's little drawings.

"Do you have a picture of her?" he asked, tilting his head back to better meet my eyes. He lifted his head when I sat up to reach under my bed, feeling around until I found what I was looking for, and lay back on the pillow with the head shot of my mom.

"You keep it under your bed?" Seth asked as his head reclaimed its place on my shoulder while I took a moment to look at my mom's face.

"I'm going to frame it," I insisted. "I just... I'm waiting until I can look at her without feeling sad, you know? I'm getting there. A lot of the stuff that she left me helps--I'm just not ready to see her every time I walk in here. I took down her picture in my room at my grandma's house, too. They were all over the rest of the house. When I first got here, I thought I'd miss them. But, I think I needed a break from... everything."

Seth rolled over until he was half over me, his chin resting on his arms, crossed over my chest.

"Can I ask you something?" he said. "I mean, I know you're going home, and I'm not going to spend the next few weeks trying to talk you out of it. But, if you needed a break from all that--from living with your grandma, and trying to deal with everything--are you ready to go back to that?"

"It's not like I had a bad life before I came here, Seth," I said, thinking that I'd been misunderstood. "I mean, I didn't want to leave it at all when I first came here. I'm just saying that I was wrong, thinking that coming here would be a bad thing. It kinda put things in perspective, and I think I can go home now."

"Home. Your grandma's house?"

"Well..." I found myself pausing for a moment. Grandma's house. I guess technically, I'd never quite considered Grandma Alice's house my home, but then, I wasn't really talking specifically about her house. Just home in general. "Yeah. I'll be living with her. Um... here. My mom."

I turned the photograph to face Seth, effectively changing the subject as he handed the little book with the unicorn on the cover back to me and took the photograph, his fingers staying respectively on the edges. He studied the picture for a minute, and then smiled at me.

"You have her eyes... She looks nice."

"She was," I replied, and after a few moments of watching Seth look at my mom's face, I regarded him curiously. "Hey, does she, like, remind you of anyone?"

Seth looked confused for a moment, but humored my question by studying the picture further, as if he was trying to figure it out.

"Should it?" he finally asked.

I sighed. "No. Never mind."

I guess if Seth didn't think that our mothers looked alike, no one would. It was probably me, just seeing things that weren't there. Missing my mom.

Seth passed me the photograph back and watched me as I stretched to place it and my mother's wish list on the nightstand. "Who did you think she'd remind me of?" he asked, lifting my hand and lacing his fingers with mine.

"No one," I insisted, not sure that he'd really want to know. Personally, I thought that if I were Seth, I would think the whole thing was weird, but he was still looking at me expectantly, probably waiting for me to give him more of a response. I didn't. "You know, my door has a lock on it," I said pointedly.

"You don't want to talk about it anymore?" he observed.

"We could talk about you," I suggested.

Seth smiled. "What about me?" he asked, and I shifted where I lay, hitching in a breath as he lifted himself just enough to drag his body up mine, his thigh sliding between my legs against my flaccid cock, which had been resting peacefully beneath his weight before he decided to provide a brief moment of friction. I smiled at him as he leaned down, his nose touching mine as I lifted his hat, which had been placed to my side.

"I'm still trying to figure out why you're always wearing these things," I remarked.

"I told you. I like them."

I dropped the hat to wrap my arm around Seth's neck when his mouth met mine, and closed my eyes, relaxing as his body became heavier over mine and lifted my knees, cradling his body as his thigh pressed more firmly against my groin, only to slide away a moment later when he made room for his hand, cupping me through my pants; and as he allowed my tongue to enter his mouth I arched against him, hardening against his hand.

Seth traced my length with his fingers causing me to wriggle beneath him as I slipped a hand up the front of his shirt, pulling at the material until he finally broke the kiss and pulled back, lifting his hand away from my erection long enough for me to get it over his head, and then his hand was back again, gripping me through my clothes while I gasped, and his tongue took the opportunity to slip back into my mouth.

"Seth," I quietly murmured, pushing at his shoulders until he released my bottom lip, which was trapped between his teeth and looked at me in an impatient way that had me laughing. "When I said I had a lock on my door..." I swallowed, narrowing my eyes at him when he suddenly pressed his hand for firmly against my cock, his fingers pointedly moving against my balls, "I didn't say I locked it."

Seth abruptly got off me, shaking his head but looking amused as I sat up, watching him head towards my bedroom door. He reached for the lock, but stopped before he reached it, and I found myself sitting up when Seth carefully put his ear to the door, listening.

"What?" I asked, and he suddenly turned around and headed back towards me, grabbing his shirt.

"Someone's coming down the hall," Seth whispered, and as he pulled on his shirt, I glared incredulously at the tent in my pants before I quickly reached to adjust myself, trying to hide it.

"Shit," I cursed as Seth took a seat next to me and I glanced at his pants, which were baggier than mine, and even if it was obvious to me that there was activity beneath those jeans, it wasn't as noticeable as mine. My eyes widened when Seth reached for my pants and then tried to push my cock off to the side, so it wasn't sticking up so much. Unfortunately, that's not what touching me accomplished.

"You're not helping," I hissed, but then cracked up laughing when Seth developed a case of uncontrollable giggles that only ended when there was a knock on the door.

"Sit on the floor," Seth whispered, and I did so, bringing one knee up in a way that I hoped was hiding my present condition. When Seth handed me my mom's wish list, and then leaned, as if looking over my shoulder, I didn't hesitate to open it.

"The door's open," I called as soon as I felt we were settled, and wasn't at all surprised when Eddie opened it, pausing as he stepped through to look between Seth and me as if he were actually surprised to see us both there. I wasn't fooled by it. He'd seen us come in.

"Hey, guys," Eddie said. "We're heading to bed. Do you need anything?"

"Nope," I answered for us. "We're fine."

"Okay," Eddie said, but instead of leaving, he leaned against the door frame and I pulled my other knee up. I wasn't exactly comfortable, and I was hoping he didn't plan to stay long. "So are you guys going to be here for the rest of the night?"

"Yeah," I replied. "It's kinda late, anyway... Is that alright?"

"Sure, no problem," Eddie said quickly. "So do you guys want to watch a movie or something? I can make popcorn," Eddie offered. He was looking at Seth either curiously or suspiciously. I wondered if that was because he was sitting on my bed.

"Didn't you say you were going to bed?" I asked Eddie, raising an eyebrow.

He blinked, straightening himself and looking slightly embarrassed for a moment. "Yeah," he replied. "Uh... goodnight. See you later, Seth."

"Goodnight," Seth and I returned, and Eddie flashed me a you-better-be-behaving look, but managed to crack a smile before he left, leaving the door open a whole foot, I noticed.

Seth and I waited until we heard Eddie get down the hall, and then some. A good three minutes at least before I glanced back at Seth, saw the grin he was hiding as he looked pointedly at the bulge in my pants that didn't look hidden at all, and I started laughing again.

I stood, meaning to lock the door, but Seth grabbed my wrist and pulled me back until I was face up on the bed, his mouth over mine. He kissed me briefly, and then I watched as he stood and headed to the door, pulling off his shirt in the process. I moved further up my bed, adjusting the pillows and then leaning back against them as I watched Seth, smiling when he glanced over his shoulder at me after closing and locking the door, and feeling mostly content about him being there. My smile faded, though, as he headed towards me and I started thinking about the last eleven hours. Seth took a seat on the bed, flushing slightly as I dragged the back of my index finger from the thin trail of hair that disappeared into his pants, all the way up to his chest, where the tip of my finger found its way pointedly to a nipple, tracing until the tiny bead started to harden and Seth grabbed my hand, laughing. He leaned forward, meaning to kiss me, but stopped when I spoke.

"I'm sorry."

Seth cocked his head at me, his expression suggesting that he thought I was making a strange joke.

"What for?" he asked, and I opened my mouth, not really sure what to say, so I smiled at him instead, while I waited for something to come to me.

"I'm kinda having a weird day," I decided. "And, I feel like I should tell you..."

"You're sorry?" Seth finished, looking amused and shaking his head at me. "Just a feeling you have?"

"Yeah."

He studied me for another moment. "Okay. Then, I'm sorry, too," he finally said, and then he was kissing me again.

I sat up, lifting my arms as Seth tugged at my shirt, eventually lifting it over my head, and then I laid back, guiding his weight over me while my hand slid down his smooth, warm back. I reached his jeans and my fingers fought their way beneath his pants, under his boxers until I could feel the right cheek of his ass, feeling flexed and firm beneath my palm as I squeezed, pulling him down against me until his erect cock ground against mine through our pants; but it was only for a moment before Seth lifted his hips, long enough to unbutton his jeans and as I pushed them and his boxers down over his ass he unfastened my pants and yanked them down, none too gently, and my eyes rolled back as my cock abruptly sank into his mouth. I didn't get my jeans down over my feet until after he'd sated me, and any energy I had left was used to flip Seth onto his back, strip him, and return the favor.

The sound of the TV in the other room woke me, and as I opened my eyes, I slowly became aware of a few things. I was alone. Sliding my hand across my bed told me that much. And it was dark, and it seemed I'd never managed to put my pants back on, being naked and under the covers. The last time I'd checked, Seth had been there with me. Obviously, I'd fallen asleep again. I hoped that I wasn't about to make a habit of that.

I sat up, glancing at the clock long enough to know that it was past midnight, but that still didn't stop me from moving off the bed, feeling around for my jeans until I found them and pulled my phone out of the pocket. It only took Seth two rings to answer with, "You woke up."

"Yeah," I said groggily. "Where'd you go?"

"Home," he replied, sounding amused. "I kinda let myself out around twelve. Luke was getting home when I left."

"Oh." I was silent for a moment, trying to process all information. "You didn't wake me up."

"You looked tired," he countered.

"Hmm. Did you talk to Luke at all?"

"Nope. I was already leaving."

"Oh."

"You sound like you need to go back to sleep," Seth remarked.

"Probably," I admitted. "Sorry I fell asleep on you."

"It's okay, I think I did too for a little while," Seth admitted, sounding sheepish. "I was comfortable. Didn't really want to leave."

"I wish you hadn't," I said honestly as I moved across the room and flicked on the light, squinting as I adjusted to it. I frowned at my messy bed, mostly because Seth wasn't in it anymore.

"Are you feeling better?" he suddenly asked. "You said you were having a weird day... and then earlier..."

"I'm okay now," I insisted. And I was okay, if that meant that I no longer felt like I was cheating on Seth, and I'd forbidden myself from even thinking about whether or not Luke liked me, because it really didn't matter. I'd figured that out in my room, with Seth. He was there because I wanted him to be. I wanted to be with him, and even if Luke did have feelings for me it's not like I'd ever know it for sure because realistically speaking, I didn't have the guts to ask him. That made it easy to decide that Seth was wrong, and Luke didn't. Therefore I'd been acting ridiculous all day, and should definitely feel like an ass. I could live with that.

"Good," Seth replied. "So, I'm gonna go to bed, unless you wanted to talk for a while?"

"No, that's okay," I insisted. "Call me tomorrow when you get off work?"

"Sure."

I said goodnight to Seth, but I didn't go to bed. Instead, I pulled on some black gym shorts and cautiously pulled the bedroom door open, looking down the hall. It was dark, but the light from the television was bouncing off the walls as I made my way towards the living room, wondering if Luke had just left the television on, or if he and Dave were still watching it.

I stopped behind the sofa, looking curiously at the weather channel, which was playing on the television, before I glanced down and spotted Luke stretched out on the sofa, in white briefs this time, most definitely awake, but looking rather bored as he stared at the television. I took a moment to look him over, the way his hand was stretched out over his defined chest; long legs, stretched out and slightly spread; the outline of his cock, clearly visible through his snug underwear; the hair on his legs and the light curls on his head looking soft in the dim light. There was no question about whether or not I was attracted to Luke. But as I moved to the end of the sofa where I could better see his face, the attraction came in second to the feelings I had for him. And, there were feelings. Luke was the first person who made me stop and think about how spending a summer in Arizona didn't have to be so bad. He was the guy I could talk to when I couldn't stop thinking about my mom. He was the same guy who could watch me make mistakes and choose not to judge me for them, offering his friendship in an unconditional way that was probably responsible for the way that I felt so close to him. Without thinking about any of the ideas that had been placed in my head that morning, the way I felt about Luke seemed uncomplicated, and exactly how it was supposed to be.

"Hey," I said quietly. "What are you doing?"

Luke glanced away from the television and smiled at me. "Trying to figure out if it's going to be raining next weekend."

"Raining?"

"Yeah... the lake," he reminded me. "It's not as much fun when there's lightning."

"Ah... yeah, probably," I agreed, walking past him to sit on the other end of the couch, but Luke lifted his knees to his chest, providing plenty of room next to him. I hesitated for only a moment, trying to remember how close I usually sat next to Luke when I was doing the actual sitting. I chose my seat about a foot away from his toes, but as soon as I was comfortable, he slid his feet forward, burying those same toes just under my thigh. I wasn't uncomfortable with that, I guess. It was Luke. He liked to be close. He liked to be touching. I cleared my throat and looked at the TV. "So... is there going to be rain?"

"Don't think so, but we should probably check later in the week."

"Right... Is Dave still here?"

"Nope. He went home tonight. His relatives are leaving in the morning, and I've gotta work tomorrow, anyway."

"Oh... so he's doing good with Angela, right?"

"I guess so," Luke responded indifferently, giving me a small shrug. "I'm not really paying attention." I regarded Luke curiously, thinking that that was a strange thing for him to say, but before I could comment, he was speaking to me again. "I saw Seth leaving earlier. I kind of checked up on you. You were sleeping."