Chapter 31A: Driving Aaron Keslin

A/N thanks to Jim for editing!

There were a lot of things that didn't feel right to me as I climbed into the passenger seat of Seth's truck and stared out my window into the dark as the vehicle started. I'd likely lost my mind if I was willingly on my way to see Aaron. We were leaving the comfort of Seth's bed, where our time could have been more productively spent than it was going to be now. My hip bones were actually sore from all of that earlier grinding we'd done. And worst of all, things were so strained between Seth and me that I wasn't at all interested in the feeling. I knew that I was responsible for most of it, too. I was the one who was too angry to talk. I didn't even move across the seat when he looked over at me, seeming apologetic. Seth seemed more than a little disappointed about that.

He wasn't taking me home, though. He turned in the opposite direction. He was taking me with him, like I wanted. Seth and I were on our way to pick up Aaron, who happened to be wasted, and I was allowing it to happen while there was this horrible tension between us.

I was an idiot.

I glanced over at Seth. He had his thumb between his full lips, still a bit swollen from our earlier kissing, and he was biting at his nail, appearing troubled as he focused on the road from beneath his ball cap. I hated that he looked so upset because of me. I was pretty sure that I needed to apologize. I was angry with Aaron for calling Seth to get him out of his troubles. It wasn't right to take it out on Seth just because he was a nice enough guy to do it. Especially when one of the things that I found to be most appealing about Seth was that he was a nice guy.

I let out a breath, trying to release some of the frustration I was feeling with it, and I forced myself to slide across the seat until I was against him. I felt better as soon as his arm was around me, accepting my move as a sign of peace. I heard Seth sigh, and for a long minute we stared out the front window where the headlights lit the road for us.

"I'm sorry," I finally said, not realizing how dry my throat was until I heard my own voice crack.

His hand moved to rub at the back of my neck. "It'll be really quick," he promised, turning his attention from the road for a moment to glance at me, seeming concerned. "I can't deal with Aaron while you're mad at me."

"I'm not," I insisted, leaning into him, hoping he believed me.

"It's still not too late if you just want to go home, you know. All I'm gonna do is make sure he gets home," he said, and I momentarily closed my eyes as Seth's hand moved through my hair, his fingers massaging my scalp. "You don't have to see him."

"I wanna go with you," I stated, and Seth didn't argue with that. Instead, he pulled into the first drive-thru we came to and looked at me again.

"You're thirsty," he said, always being the observant one. "What do you want to drink?"

I sat upright in the middle of the bench seat, watching Seth as his eyes darted around the parking lot while his fingers continuously drummed the steering wheel. Parked in front of the apartment complex, we could hear the party, but there was no sign of Aaron.

I sipped my lemonade through the straw, and then held it out for Seth, who sat back in his seat while he took a drink. "Where is he?" I finally asked. I'd been avoiding the question because Seth looked irritated enough already.

"Probably inside, trying to piss me off," Seth responded. "It's working."

I looked out the window for another minute, waiting to see any sign of Aaron. I would have preferred it if Seth hadn't wanted to come out here at all, but obviously he had a bigger heart than I did when it came to Aaron Keslin. Patience seemed to be a different thing, though. Seth didn't look like he had much of that at the moment, and seeing him irritated made me irritated and I found myself wondering where the hell Aaron was.

Just as I became tempted to roll down the window and start shouting his name, I felt Seth's hand on the back of my neck and I turned towards him to find that he was watching me now. I moved to sit closer to him again, lacing my fingers with his when he took my hand. "I'm gonna have to go in there," he announced. "If we wait, I won't have you home on time and Aaron could be passed out anywhere for all I know."

I sighed, and looked at the clock. It was after eleven now, and I could understand Seth's concern. I had the same one--that we wouldn't make it back on time. Only, I'd been the one insistent on going with him, so if I was going to be late, it was my own fault. I looked pointedly at Seth, wanting him to stay right where he was. With me.

"He likes you, you know," I said quietly. "I mean, the jealous thing... I feel it for a reason."

Seth developed a frown in his brow as he inquisitively cocked his head at me. "Is this about what happened at the mall?" Seth asked.

"Yes," I replied honestly. "I saw him after I left."

Seth's eyes narrowed at that, but whatever annoyance he was feeling didn't seem to be aimed at me. "Rory..."

"He's the reason why I asked you about what we were doing, you know? Since I'm leaving... he said some things. He likes you."

"But..."

"He told me he likes you," I interrupted, wanting Seth to get my point, just in case he was about to deny it to make me feel better.

"I was going to say, I don't care."

I frowned at Seth, not really getting his meaning. Maybe he didn't care, but I sure as hell did.

"Look, he's in there right now hoping you'll go look for him," I said irritably. "You don't even know that he's actually in trouble. He could be playing a game, and..."

"Rory," Seth calmly interrupted. "If that's what he's doing, then he won't get a ride. And, I don't care--I don't care what Aaron wants, and you shouldn't either."

"Seth..."

"We're together, right? You did hear me when I said that I just wanted to see one person, and that's you?"

"Yeah," I said slowly. "But Aaron..."

"Who cares about Aaron? He has nothing to do with me and you. He's just... Aaron. I like you; please, don't worry about the other shit, Rory. Yeah, maybe he is playing games, but that doesn't matter if I'm not interested in him, right?"

I thought about that for a minute, and then let out a breath.

"Okay."

"Okay?" he repeated, as if to ask me if I was sure.

I nodded. "Yeah, okay."

Seth flashed me a small smile and then turned towards me, his hand gently moving beneath my chin and as he guided me towards him I met him halfway, my lips lightly brushing over his before he pulled back and regarded me more seriously.

"I'm gonna go see what's going on, okay? I don't want you to be late--we can talk about this some more later if you want, okay?"

"Yeah, fine," I replied, and I watched Seth reach for his door.

"I'll be right back," he promised.

"Wait." I suddenly grabbed his arm. "What would be so bad about leaving him?" I asked. I had to ask.

"He asked for my help," Seth responded tiredly. "Leaving him here... he'd just get into more trouble. As it is, he's being an ass, and the people throwing the party want him out."

"What about his other friends?" I asked. "The last time, Aaron had friends who were driving his car for him when..."

"Yeah, well tonight those friends took his car and left him here."

"And that's what happened according to Aaron?" I responded, suspiciously looking over the parking lot for his car.

"Yes, and before you ask why I believe him, I checked his story with Kevin. He just needs a ride home, Rory."

"And tomorrow he'll wake up, know he got away with more of his bullshit, and do it all over again. He apologizes all the time, Seth. But, he's never actually sorry for anything. All Aaron cares about is Aaron. He doesn't care that you're going out of your way to do this. He probably just expects it. And you're just giving it to him."

"Maybe you're... actually, no. You're right, you're completely right. I know that," Seth insisted, closing his door again. Obviously, he thought we'd be here for a while. "But he needs to know that he does have someone to count on. Look, I know you don't want to understand this..."

"What do you mean I don't want to understand?" I cut him off, feeling more than a little annoyed. "I'd love to understand. Like, I'd love to know why Aaron could probably get away with murder and that would be just fine because everyone would just expect it, anyway!"

"It's not like that Rory."

"Oh yeah? When has he ever paid for his own mistakes?" I responded. "Look what happened with Luke. Aaron admits he stole that car but he's still letting Luke pay for it. And he cheated on you, right? I mean... I don't get it Seth. He was a big enough jerk for you to break up with him, but you're still not stepping back to let him deal with his own shit? Come on. I mean, I know I really can't talk, given the way that I let him treat me, but isn't there a point... I mean, there has to be a point where people start stepping back to say wait a fucking minute.... right? Right?"

I'm sure I appeared flustered as Seth just stared at me with an unreadable expression, his thumb brushing lightly over my knuckles. And then he pulled his eyes from mine to stare at our joined hands. It seemed to me, that he really had no idea how to respond to this. And at that moment, it occurred to me just how much I'd grown to hate Aaron Keslin.

I'd be lying if I said that part of it wasn't because I felt like he'd used me. That had been one of the lowest feelings I'd ever had. To be used. To have been stupid enough to fall for it. And with Aaron, I'd fallen for it in a big way. I felt like he'd picked me out because I was easy. He'd used my situation against me, knowing that I hadn't been happy having to live with Eddie and Jase. He knew that I hated the way everyone was lying to me. Aaron knew that I was alone. Lonely. He used it. It made sense, why he'd accuse me of liking Luke and give me an ultimatum. Luke was the only other person Aaron really saw me getting close to. After that party, he'd called to turn what had happened into my fault because he thought he'd get away with it. Poor, lonely Rory would take company any way he could get it, and Aaron figured that he was my only option.

Of course, this was a conclusion I was just now coming to, and it was entirely possible that I was giving Aaron way too much credit. But even if his intentions hadn't been as entirely evil as I thought they were, it didn't really change how I felt about him. I hated him because he hurt me. I hated him because he hurt me, and he couldn't have cared less.

"Aaron wouldn't do the same for you," I said quietly, when Seth said nothing. "He wouldn't do the same thing for anyone."

Seth looked thoughtful for a moment, and then nodded to agree. "But we're not Aaron."

I felt exasperated. "That's not even fair."

Seth let out a breath and turned in his seat to face me, a near impossible task with me leaning into his side the way I was.

"I know he's lacking... a lot of things. And I know that they could rewrite the term selfish bastard in the dictionary using his description; and yes, I'd love to see Aaron get what's coming to him one of these days. But, he asked for my help; I told him I'd still be there for him if he really needed me."

"When?" I demanded. "He probably had you under durness." I nodded my head, hoping it would strengthen my point.

"He had me what?" Seth asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know," I responded, frustrated. "I heard it in Eddie's office. It means he, like, made you agree to that or something."

"I think you mean duress," Seth replied, looking amused again. "And... I don't think it works here."

"Whatever. Why would you say something like that to him? You said yourself that you couldn't be friends with him anymore, so why look out for him?"

"Because he was really upset when I told him that we were finished as far as being actual friends went, Rory."

"So?"

"So I still feel a little sorry for him... Shit." Seth removed his ball cap just so he could run his fingers through his hair before he placed it back on his head and met my eyes. "I don't know how to explain this to you. Isn't it enough for you that I don't have feelings for Aaron anymore? I'm with you; he's just getting a ride home--in the bed of the truck if you want."

"It's not about... that," I replied. "Listen, I'm sorry if I'm being annoying about this. I guess you're right--I don't understand. But, I want to, and..."

"Aaron doesn't care about anyone because he doesn't think anyone cares about him," Seth cut me off. "I'm not saying that it's an excuse for how he acts. But he has a lot of issues. He didn't have to call me tonight but he did..."

"To get to you," I insisted.

"Because he trusts me. Look at the other people he hangs out with, Rory. They aren't his friends. And Aaron... he likes attention. That's nothing new. But the things he does for it usually gets him in trouble..."

"You mean it gets other people in trouble."

"And when he gets in trouble," Seth continued, ignoring my comment, "he calls me because he knows that those guys..."

"Aren't you," I stated. "Seth, you know why he called you tonight. He figured that me and you would be together and it pissed him off."

"Rory, I'm trying to talk to you," Seth said quietly, and I forced myself to calm down.

"I'm sorry. Go ahead."

Seth sighed. "Look, let me go in there to get him, and after we get him home, we'll talk about this, okay?"

"Seth..."

"Please, I just want to get it over with."

I met his eyes and let out a breath, deciding that I was making this whole thing more difficult than it needed to be.

"Okay, but I'm going up there with you," I insisted as I started to slide back across the seat towards my own door. I paused and looked back when Seth tightened his grip on my hand. He was giving me a pointed look. "I'm not angry," I insisted. "Please, I just... want to go with you."

Seth sighed, and I squeezed his hand as he lifted it to his mouth, where his lips brushed over my knuckles. That was all it took before I was moving back over the seat, deciding that Aaron could wait another minute as I kissed Seth like I meant it.

Seth looked down at me from where he was headed up the apartment stairs and frowned. I knew why. I was stalling, taking each stair at a ridiculously slow pace. He came back down and stood in front of me, one stair up.

"Let me walk you back to the truck. You can wait there. You don't even have to see him. I'll make him ride in the back, remember?"

I flashed Seth a small smile, but then passed him, grabbing his hand while I was at it, and became reassured by his rather tight grip. It wasn't really Aaron that I was objecting to by walking up those stairs slowly. It was more like the noise coming from the apartment, and the party that was in it. It wasn't an experience that I wanted to relive, being there. But it turned out, I didn't have to.

I came to a dead stop directly in front of the closed apartment door, and stared down, feeling both disgusted and horrified at the same time.

"Fucking Christ!" Seth cursed. Unlike me, Seth actually moved forward while I just stared, watching as my current boyfriend knelt down and removed a still-burning cigarette from between Aaron's fingers and put it out. It seemed that Aaron had been too unconscious to know that it was about to burn him. But that seemed to be the least of his troubles as I looked him over. It was no wonder why whoever lived in the apartment wanted him out. He reeked of something vile. I guessed that it was mostly alcohol staining his shirt, but there were definite signs of vomit, too. Apparently, he hadn't made it into one of the plants. "Nasty," I heard Seth mumble as he shook his head in disapproval while cautiously shaking Aaron's shoulder.