Chapter 13: What to do about Aaron

I stared at the house with the rock garden. I didn't like this house. I didn't like the blue truck parked outside of this house. I didn't like the guy, who lived in this house, and drove that stupid blue truck.

"What?"

Aaron was clueless, even if he shouldn't have been. He was also looking at me like I was crazy again. I swear, with the moodswings I was having, I couldn't blame him. But regardless, I just couldn't see how being at Seth's house could be a good thing.

"Why are we here?" I asked, managing to keep my voice as neutral as possible.

"Because it's close... and I thought we could hang out here for a while--what?"

Presently, I could only scowl in response. Aaron just shook his head at me as he got out of the car.

"Okay," he said, after walking around to the passenger door and opening it. "I don't know what your problem is, but let's go inside and talk about it. What were you saying about your grandma?" he asked as he started walking towards the house, leaving me to follow. I got out of the car, not bothering to hide my frustration as I slammed his door, but Aaron didn't seem to notice.

"Nothing," I mumbled, glaring at the house again. Seth was in there. "How long are we going to be here?"

"I don't know, why? When do you have to be home?"

Now, that was a question I hadn't considered. When did I have to be home? I found myself patting my pockets. It seemed I was cellphone-free, which meant that it was probably a good idea to go home before it got too late.

"I don't know. Soon, maybe."

Aaron gave me a strange look before knocking on the door, and I stopped about three feet away from him, hating my day again. It was bad enough that I had a million thoughts running through my head. The last place I'd wanted to end up was on Seth's doorstep, on top of it.

"Can we... not be here?" I found myself asking.

"Why, what's wrong?" Aaron asked, glancing over his shoulder at me.

"I just don't feel like being here," I replied, feeling annoyed. I was too frustrated to try to explain to Aaron how I really felt about Seth. Considering the mood I was in, it likely wouldn't turn out good and the last thing I wanted to do was end up fighting with him.

Aaron turned around, facing me, and I found myself avoiding his eyes, along with the curious smile attached to his face.

"You know, you don't even know Seth," Aaron insisted. "You can't really say you don't like him until you get to know him."

"What if I don't want to get to know him?" I asked, almost challengingly. I frowned when Aaron ignored that, turned back around and waited for someone to answer the door, which didn't happen for a few more seconds.

It was a black hat on Seth's head today, pulled down so low that I couldn't even see his eyes. That was fine with me, though. I was getting tired of him glaring at me, and I'd put money on the assumption that he was glaring again as he glanced between Aaron and me.

"Want some company?" Aaron asked, before Seth even had a chance to say anything. And before he gave a response, you would have thought it was a trick question he'd been asked, the way he stood hesitantly in the doorway glancing between Aaron and me. Personally, I was hoping he'd tell us to get lost. Eventually, he held the door open a little wider, though, almost looking defeated as Aaron passed him, and I slowly followed.

"What are... you guys doing here?" Seth asked a few moments after shutting the door. He seemed to be shaking himself out of something. Obviously, he hadn't expected me to show up at his house again.

"Rory's having a bad day," Aaron replied, and I glared at him for bringing it up. "We were just hanging out. I thought we'd see what you were up to."

Seth seemed to stare at Aaron for a long moment, and the two of them seemed to be having a silent conversation that put me on edge, Aaron suddenly looking like he'd won an important game, and Seth looking like he wanted to strangle Aaron--or me. Yep, me. He tilted his head up some, looking at me from under that hat in a way I could only see as threatening. But, when he spoke again his voice was calm, his face a blank mask.

"I was actually going out," Seth said, looking at Aaron and ignoring me now.

"Where?" Aaron asked curiously.

"Just out," Seth replied, shrugging.

"Well if you want company..." Aaron started to say.

"I already have company," Seth replied. "I'm meeting a friend."

"Ah... her?" Aaron asked, his smile suddenly broadening. I didn't have to ask to know who her, was. It made me think of poor Dave again.

"Yeah," Seth replied, and the tone he used nearly had me rolling my eyes as I watched the two, suddenly understanding something.

I had a feeling that Seth was only bringing up Angela to get a reaction from Aaron. I'm sure he preferred that reaction to be jealousy. What seemed ridiculous about it, was that it seemed like Aaron couldn't care less, and if I had any doubts, Aaron proved it the next time he spoke.

"Well, call me later and tell me how it goes. Um... Rory and I won't keep you."

I felt myself jump a little when I felt Aaron touch my back, but controlled my reaction. I mean, it wasn't like he'd tried to grab my ass or something... even if Seth did look at us as if that had just happened. Maybe the way he was looking at us now was the reason why the gesture suddenly had me on edge. It was partially the reason why I headed for the door without waiting for the two of them to say goodbye. We were obviously leaving, anyway. I planned on counting my blessings while I had them.

I didn't have them very long.

I nearly jumped, and I looked at Seth when he abruptly closed the door, just before I reached it. Why did he do that? I don't think he was supposed to do that.

"I still have a few minutes," Seth suddenly announced, his expression relaxing some as he forced a smile in Aaron's direction, and I swear the look he gave me was nothing less than challenging. "Do you guys want something to drink?"

...

I was suspicious. Highly suspicious. And bothered. If Aaron noticed it, though, he didn't seem to care, the way he was kicking a soccer ball around the back yard, playing with Seth's dogs; which, I noticed, didn't seem to hate him the way that Chey did. I was actually happy to see this, although, I wasn't exactly pleased that he was paying more attention to the dogs instead of me, especially since I was attempting to get his attention, wanting to know when the hell we were getting out of there. Unfortunately, by the time he looked back in my direction, Seth was already coming out the back door, juggling three glasses of what looked like soda and ice. I nearly recoiled when he stopped next to me, close enough that I could smell he'd put on cologne or something. That annoyed the crap out of me. Cologne was for people planning to get close to other people. I had a sneaking suspicion that the other people he had in mind didn't include Aaron.

"Here you go," Seth said, holding out one glass for me. I nearly declined it. I didn't drink soda, anyway, and there was no reason for him to be offering me a drink. There was no reason for him to invite us to stay after he had announced he was going out. We'd been there for ten minutes now. I was counting in my head. He was supposed to be going out. We were now officially keeping him, or so I'd like to think. Why the hell wasn't he throwing us out?

I took the glass, not bothering to thank him for it, and I didn't care when he saw me smell the contents, either. I had no problem with letting him know that I didn't trust him. Unfortunately, he found this amusing, and the way I could see his mouth curl into a smirk just annoyed me more.

"So, you're having another bad day, huh?" he remarked.

"Just keeps getting worse," I replied, glaring at him pointedly. He seemed to ignore it.

"And you think Aaron's going to cheer you up?" Seth definitely sounded annoyed now. "What are you guys planning to do, anyway?"

"I'm not sure, yet," I replied. And even if I did know, it wouldn't be any of your business. "We'll probably go soon," I added, trying to make it clear that I didn't want to be around him.

"Right," he replied shortly. "I'm just going to go talk to Aaron before you guys leave; you can stand here and pretend you don't mind."

My jaw dropped at that, and like a disbelieving idiot I stood there like that, trying to come up with some sort of retort while Seth passed by me and headed for Aaron. A moment later, when Seth was reaching for Aaron, pulling him away from the dogs so they could talk, I closed my mouth, fuming as I just stood there and did exactly what I'd been told to do. I pretended that it didn't bother me.

Of course, whether or not I successfully stood there like it didn't bother me was a completely different matter as I turned the glass Seth had given me upside down and I watched as the soda poured out over the flagstone patio that took up a fourth of Seth's backyard. Meanwhile, the two seemed to move even closer and they dropped their voices. I'm not sure whether or not it was intentional, but I didn't like not being able to hear what was being said. I definitely didn't like it when Aaron laughed at something Seth said.

I found myself closing my eyes for a moment, if anything to calm myself. I had to be the biggest dumb shit in the world. Seriously. Why had I allowed Aaron to take me here? More importantly, why would he? He knew how I felt about Seth, and maybe it wouldn't change whether or not the two of them were friends, but he at least could have had the decency to leave me home if he knew we were going somewhere that I wouldn't want to be. Especially under the circumstances.

I was under the impression that Aaron and I were supposed to be trying to figure out where to take whatever feelings we had for each other. Wouldn't that require a certain level of privacy? Away from Seth. But then again, maybe that's not what Aaron wanted. Maybe there was a reason why he'd brought me here. Maybe it was his way of saying that he didn't want to talk about it. Maybe our encounter last night had been nothing to him but... fun.

Well, fine. If that's how he felt, then--fine. But, if that's how he felt, and if he thought I was just going to stand there and do what Seth told me to do then he had another thing coming. They both did. In fact, they could both kiss my ass, I decided as I opened my fingers, currently closed around the glass, and didn't even flinch when it suddenly shattered at my feet, drawing attention from both of them. I think I was surprised to find that they both seemed to be annoyed even before they figured out what had happened, but I ignored it, and focused more on Aaron's confused expression as he looked at me, and more important, Seth's incredulous one.

"Oops," I said innocently. "You might want to clean that up, Seth. You know, before your dogs get into it." I really had nothing against Seth's dogs. Seth, was a different story, and I couldn't help smiling at the way he was glaring at me before I sharply turned my attention to Aaron. "I'm leaving," I announced. And to be honest, at that point I didn't care whether or not he came with me.

Okay, maybe I cared whether or not Aaron came with me. But, that was only after I passed his car and realized that once again, I didn't have a ride home. I tried not to be too annoyed as I accepted the fact that I was walking, and I headed up the driveway. I wasn't really expecting the firm hand that suddenly grabbed my arms and pulled me back around. After all, he hadn't exactly come after me the last time.

"What the hell was that?" Aaron snapped, and there was nothing on his face that masked his frustration with me. I didn't make excuses, or even an apology. Instead, I asked a question of my own, and it came out just as harshly.

"Why would you bring me here? I mean, what the fuck were you thinking? I told you how I feel about Seth, Aaron. And maybe he's your friend, so I hate to break this to you, but I don't think he likes me anymore than I like him."

"I told you, he's not good around new..."

"He's not good around me!" I snapped. "And it has nothing to do with not knowing me. He obviously still likes you, so bringing me here is... stupid."

"He's my friend, Rory. What do you want me to do, stop hanging out with him?" Aaron demanded, a challenging tone in his voice.

"I didn't say that and you know it!" I retorted. "But do you have to hang out with him while I'm around? Shit, Aaron! I thought we were going to... weren't we supposed to..."

"What?" he asked, looking impatient.

"We started talking last night," I responded. "When you said you wanted to go somewhere because you weren't comfortable back at the house, I thought we were going to do some more talking. I mean, I thought we were going to figure out... and then you brought me here!"

"But Rory..."

"Forget it," I cut him off, shaking my head. This was all so ridiculous. It seemed like all I ever did was argue with him--unless we were making out, of course; but the arguing was getting old. The fact that he'd brought me to Seth's house of all places, when he knew what kind of mood I was in, just proved that any delusions I had about starting something with him had to end here. I just wished that it didn't feel so horrible to come to this decision. I also wished that I knew why it felt horrible. After all, the constant arguing felt horrible. Walking away from it was supposed to be easy.

"No, I don't want to forget it," Aaron replied, losing the bite in his voice. "Look... you're right, okay? I shouldn't have brought you over here--or, I should have talked to you about it first."

"Ya think?" I remarked, unable to help it. But, if anything, Aaron ignored my comment.

"So, let's go now. I told you we could talk; if we're not going to do it here, then..."

"Forget it. It's too late now. I'm going home, Aaron."

I pulled my arm away from him, not roughly, but I made it clear that I wanted him to let go of me. Actually, I was a little surprised when he did right away, but I chose to ignore it as I continued walking. It wasn't over yet, though, as Aaron dropped into step beside me.

"At least let me give you a ride."

"I don't even think that's a good idea," I informed him, and found that I was beginning to feel oddly calm again at this point. "I'm just tired of it, Aaron. I never even know what you're thinking and that just makes... everything harder." I stopped walking for a moment and looked at him, unsure if I even wanted to continue this conversation, but compelled to do it, anyway. "Last night you asked if I liked you. This morning when I woke up, I thought I did... but..."

"No, don't say but," he quickly cut me off. "Please, Rory. Maybe it was a mistake to just bring you over to Seth's like that, but if you just let me explain..."

"What's there to explain?"

"More than you think!" he stated, suddenly sounding irritated again. "Look, just wait here--give me two seconds, okay?"

"Aaron..."

"Just give me two seconds," he repeated, and suddenly he was moving away from me, back towards Seth's house.

I rolled my eyes, tempted to keep walking, but too curious to do so as I stood on the side of the road with my arms crossed, waiting. I wasn't all that surprised when Aaron pulled up next to me in his car a few moments later and regarded me through the window.

"Will you get in?" he asked.

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know... you still want to talk, right?... We can go wherever. I have another friend who doesn't live far..." he started to suggest, but the look I flashed him made him stop in mid-sentence. "Okay," he relented. "If you want to go back home..."

"Someone is going to be home soon."

"Fine... my house then," he announced, but I got the idea that he wasn't very happy about it. "Will you get in now?"

No. Maybe. Yes. It took me a few long minutes, but I finally sighed to myself and got into his car. I blamed curiosity. I was curious to know where Aaron lived. Despite everything else, I was still curious to know what he had to say to me. It was only curiosity, though, I told myself as he started to drive. I'd already made my decision--at least, I tried to convince myself of that. It became more difficult when he reached for my hand a few moments later. I nearly pulled away. I'd started to, but when I looked at him his expression seemed so utterly apologetic that it was pathetic. I didn't pull my hand away, but I refused to look at him after that. I looked out the window instead. But, while that pathetic, hugable look went ignored by me, the way that his thumb began to drift over my knuckles, didn't. Neither did the way he'd squeeze my hand every few moments, and as we drove in silence, I slowly began to feel like I'd felt the night before when I was with him. If I ignored the issues between us, it was still nice.

...

Aaron's house was nothing like the one that I was living in. Of course, that could have been because it was in an actual neighborhood. Not a bad one, either. I'm not sure why that surprised me. There were manicured lawns and even an elementary school down the street. Aaron lived in the center house on a circle. It was a one-story, ranch-style home with a gated front yard and a carport. But, Aaron pulled onto a gravel path along the side of the house to park, and as he released my hand for the first time since he'd grabbed it and I followed his lead as he got out of the car, I watched as he pointed to the fourth house in the circle, which didn't look that different from his.

"That's where Luke lived when he first moved in with Jase," Aaron said, as if it would be of some interest to me. "Some old guy with a bunch of daughters lives there now. Wanna go inside?"

"Your house?" I asked.

"Well, not their house," he replied, smirking and motioning to Jase and Eddie's old house again. "My breaking and entering days are over--I'm sure Luke mentioned something about that, too?"

"He might of," I said, shrugging as if it were no big deal. "Are your parents home?"

"No," Aaron replied, looking annoyed at the question itself, and something about that confused me. But, I ignored it when he nodded for me to follow him and I did just that, moving in step with him as we walked through the gate and then the front door of his house.

Aaron's house smelled like pasta. I think that was the only way I could describe it. It wasn't unpleasant. Actually, it seemed warm and homey, even if the air conditioner had to have been running on fifty degrees. I also noticed that his parents must like earthy colors. Dark brown carpeting in the living room we walked into, olive paint on the walls. None of the furniture matched, but there was an assortment of dark colors there too. I also noticed that the floor seemed completely cluttered with toys--mostly trucks and tractors, and a few airplanes in the mix. I met the reason for the clutter a few moments later when Aaron smiled and moved to a corner, where a small toddler that I hadn't noticed was pulling the rubber tires off of his toy cars.

"Alex, what are you doing?" Aaron asked the small boy in a tone that seemed both surprisingly gentle and amused. Alex turned his head and began to talk in a language that I didn't understand, a huge smile on his face that suggested he knew exactly what he was saying. Obviously, Aaron knew what he was saying, too, as he squatted down next to the toddler, who, I couldn't help noticing, appeared to be a miniature version of Aaron. "I don't think you're fixing those, buddy," Aaron said, lifting one of the cars and one of the scattered tires, popping it back on. "Don't lose any of these, okay?" Aaron glanced back at me, the smile still present on his face. "This is my brother, Alex. He just turned three."

"Is he here alone?" I asked, puzzled. I hadn't expected anyone to be at the house after Aaron explained that his parents weren't home.

"No," Aaron replied, his smile fading as he stood up, a frustrated expression taking over. "Cody!" he called, and when there was no response, Aaron nodded for me to follow him again, this time down the hallway. We'd made it about three feet before another miniature Aaron appeared, not even noticing us as he flipped through a magazine, headphones lodged into his ears. He was definitely younger than Aaron, but when Aaron mentioned before that he had two younger brothers I hadn't expected one of them to be another teenager. He was probably fourteen or fifteen, and as I looked at him and Aaron together when Aaron moved forward to pluck one of the headphones out of his ear I began to wonder if everyone in his family had small features and the same hair cut.

"Hey!" Cody objected, looking up at his older brother as if they were the same height.

"Hey yourself," Aaron retorted. "Aren't you supposed to be watching Alex? It's your turn."

"I am watching him. He's just playing. Fuck."

"He's making a mess," Aaron replied. "And watch your mouth."

"Whatever," Cody replied, and then his eyes seemed to move to me. I wasn't sure that I liked the self-satisfied sneer that came over his face. Actually, I wasn't sure that I liked Cody. I decided I didn't when he looked back at Aaron a moment later and held out his hand. "Okay, pay up."

"What? No way!" Aaron retorted. "Just get out there and keep an eye on Alex."

Cody didn't move; in fact, he just stood there with his hand out, while I tried to figure out what was going on and Aaron continued to glare at his brother.

"I'm serious," Aaron informed him.

"Fine, then maybe I should call Mom and tell her you brought a friend over."

Aaron continued to glare for a long minute before he surprised me by reaching into his pocket for his wallet. "You are so dead later."

Aaron's threat did nothing for Cody, who just stood there with that same self-satisfied look on his face when Aaron slapped a twenty into the palm of his hand. When Cody continued to stand there afterwards, Aaron suddenly grabbed my arm, and pulled me past his younger brother, but not before sending the boy a look that promised retribution later.

"What was that all about?" I asked curiously, perplexed over the whole encounter.

"That," he said, as he opened the second door on the right and pulled me through it, "was just one of the reasons why I brought you to Seth's house and not here."

Aaron sounded irritated, but I was momentarily distracted as I looked around his room, furnished in various shades of green. There was a whole wall with disorganized sports equipment leaning against it, an overflowing laundry hamper and an unmade bed. I think this was exactly how I would have pictured Aaron's room--minus the various posters of swimsuit models stuck to his walls, including one on the ceiling over his bed. That, I hadn't imagined. Did I mention they all had boobs? I wasn't really sure what to think of this, but I momentarily put the thought aside as my mind focused on what Aaron had said.

"Seth? What are you talking about?"

"It's easier to be... me, at Seth's house," Aaron explained, and I was still lost. He must have seen this because he released an exasperated sigh and dropped back on his bed, shaking his head. "If you haven't noticed, my brother's a little extortionist. You asked what that was all about..."

"Yeah," I replied, taking a seat on a wobbly desk chair. "Why'd you let him get away with that? If I had a little brother..."

"Yeah, I'd beat his punk ass, too... if he hadn't walked in on Seth and me when we first started going out."

"Huh?"

"You know," Aaron replied, shrugging. "I was hanging out with Seth and we were just making out, you know? Nothing serious." Nothing serious? What the hell was he telling me this for? Like I needed that kind of mental image. "Cody forgot how to knock and walked in on us. This little shit. Now, every time I bring a guy to the house he threatens to tell my parents I'm gay. Bet he'd do it, too."

Oh. Right. Aaron had mentioned twice now that he couldn't talk to his parents, and I was just begining to realize what that meant. It would definitely explain all the girls on his walls.

"Couldn't you... I mean, would it really be that bad to tell them?"

"Yeah, it would," he responded almost coldly, and I found myself feeling sympathetic because there was no doubt in his voice. He didn't have what I had. He couldn't be honest with his parents to the point that he could be himself, and he had a brother who took advantage of his unfortunate situation. No wonder Aaron thought I was lucky. I remembered how it felt to hide, before I came out to my mom. I'd hated just about every day of it. I wondered how long Aaron had been feeling that way.

"Hey, listen--I'm sorry, I didn't..."

"It's fine," he cut me off. "It's just... that's why I went to Seth's. It's sort of like a second home, you know? I wanted to talk somewhere that would be comfortable for me; I didn't really think about what would be comfortable for you. Sorry about that."

I sighed, not seeing a way that I could disregard his apology without coming off as an asshole, especially after he'd just paid his little brother twenty bucks so we could hang out.

"It's... fine. Just... I don't think we should talk about Seth right now."

That was definitely the truth. I did not want to think about Seth in this room with Aaron, and like it or not, I was still bent out of shape over Aaron taking me there, regardless of his reasons. I wanted to tell him that the only reason Seth probably welcomed him at all was because the guy obviously wanted Aaron back. But, with this new information, something like that seemed more difficult to say. Maybe they really were friends. There was no doubt in my mind that Seth wanted more, but it also made sense why Aaron would want to spend so much time with his ex. And as much as the reason sucked, I couldn't help thinking it was better than thinking Aaron still wanted more with Seth.

"Fine with me," Aaron replied, almost too quickly, and I found myself sitting up a little straighter in my chair when he patted the bed beside him. "So let's do what we came here to do."

"What did we come here to do?" I asked, my brow raising in the process.

"Talk, Rory," he replied, laughing at my expression. "And, we can do that... if you tell me what it is you want to talk about. To be honest, I sort of get confused with you."

"Me?" I asked incredulously.

He was confused?

"It's not like you've made how you feel about me very clear," he replied. "I know you had a good time last night... and you're with me now, so that says something. But, I'm sort of looking for more here, Rory."

"What do you mean?" I asked almost suspiciously, and he smiled at my tone.

"I want you to tell me you like me," he replied, shrugging. "Tell me you like me; and that the next time you see me, you want it to be a date."

For some reason, his request felt more like an order to me. I didn't exactly like that. But, his words still had me blushing uncomfortably. Probably because I did like him. I just never thought he'd expect me to full on admit it.

"I already told you I like you," I said, sounding annoyed.

"When?"

"Back at Seth's," I reminded him.

"You said you thought you liked me," he corrected me. "And, there was a but somewhere in there. It doesn't count."

"Aaron..."

"Why can't you just admit it? Is it because of Luke again?"

"No," I lied. Luke was definitely part of it. The way he looked when he figured out that I had feelings for Aaron the night before was definitely part of it. I wasn't going to admit that to Aaron, though. I think I'd feel guilty about it, just like I felt guilty about liking him because of Luke.

"Then why? I know you like me."

"Then why are you even bringing it up?" I demanded, and he smirked at me.

"Because I want to hear you say it," he said simply.

"Why?" I demanded, and then after a short pause, I realized how ridiculous I was being. "I like you, okay? But that doesn't mean I know what I'm supposed to do about it. And you like me too," I added, just because it made me feel better. "But don't you think there's something wrong if you feel more comfortable in your ex's house than you do in mine?"

"Rory, shut up."

"What?" I demanded.

"Why can't you just leave it at, I like you, and you like me?"

"Because I can't."

"Yes you can," he argued, and I frowned at him. But, I didn't say anything, being too taken off guard by the way he grabbed my hand and pulled me over to sit next to him, and all. "I like you, and you like me," he said pointedly.

"I don't know if that matters," I replied, once I found my voice again.

"Trust me--it definitely matters."

I shook my head, unable to help thinking that there were some things that mattered more than whether or not we liked each other. Besides, hadn't I already decided that nothing else could happen between us? Even if it was a decision that seemed to lose its merit when I felt his mouth against my cheek, just above the corner of my mouth. I turned my head to look at him, under the impression that I was going to tell him to knock it off, because he couldn't keep ending our arguments this way, but it didn't help that turning my head brought my lips into direct contact with his. I paused for a moment, surprised by this when I shouldn't have been; but when I felt his lips parting over mine, I was closing my eyes, and as if in someone else's body, my tongue was flicking out briefly, just enough to taste the soda he'd had at Seth's, and enough to, for the first time ever, initiate a kiss. And once I'd started it, Aaron seemed to do his best to make sure it wasn't over too quickly, the way his hand was suddenly holding the side of my face, firmly, but not uncomfortably, and his lips felt like they were smothering mine.