Chapter 11: I can't believe you made me do that

"You're serious?" Aaron was looking at me as if I'd just asked him to shave his legs.

"Why not?" I replied, before ducking under the water for a moment and then surfacing again. "You don't have to worry about Luke or anyone being here right now. Eddie's coming back in a few hours, but if you want to hang out until then--I mean, unless you have something else to do..."

"No," he said quickly. "I just thought..."

"You can be a jerk," I cut him off. "But I didn't say I thought you were one last night. I left because..." I was about to tell him exactly what had happened between Seth and me, but stopped myself. If something Seth had said had him over here apologizing to me then I really wasn't interested in how he'd react if I called Seth a liar. "I just needed to go... and deal with things. So, if you want to hang out, then now's fine with me. You do know how to swim, right?"

He smiled at that and shrugged.

"So... if you still want to hang out... then does that mean we can still go out?"

Aaron was back.

"I don't know," I said quickly. I rather liked the feeling of being a step ahead of him and I didn't want to lose it just yet. Besides, I really didn't know if I was ready... to go out. "I want to think about it. So, do you want to borrow some swim trunks, or what?"

"Don't need 'em," he replied, smirking, and I watched as he kicked off his flip-flops and pulled his shirt over his head. I didn't mind watching, either. I hadn't really seen him without his shirt off since the night we met at the park, and as I watched, I could have sworn that his tan had gotten a little deeper since then--and maybe his hair had gotten a little lighter, I noticed, as he shook his long bangs from his face after his shirt tussled them. But, I was distracted from these little details when he suddenly dropped his shorts. I hadn't been expecting that.

Aaron looked up just in time to catch me eyeing the tight white boxer-briefs covering the more personal aspects of his body, and it was all over. That smirk and my blush made it clear to both of us who was capable of keeping the other on his toes; and at the moment, my toes were aching. It didn't help when he remarked, "Maybe you do like me, after all. I'm never wrong, you know."

"Just get in here, asshole," I remarked, and promptly ducked back under the water to hide the redness I could feel in my cheeks, Aaron's laughter following me.

Once again, I wondered what I'd gotten myself into. That question seemed to come up a lot, where Aaron was involved. Maybe it was his past history with Luke that put me on edge, because when it came down to it, it really was difficult for me to trust Aaron. I never knew what he was thinking, or what he was going to do--or how I was going to react to it. It scared the hell out of me. So I guess it was curiosity, or my current desperation for company, that kept me from regretting the fact that I'd invited him to stay. Then again, it could have had something to do with wanting to get even with Seth, too. He obviously didn't want me around Aaron--or Aaron around me, would be a better assessment. I guess he hadn't counted on Aaron showing up to apologize to me. I really didn't like that guy. Or, maybe I asked him to stay because Aaron wasn't wrong. I liked him. I don't know why that was so hard to admit.

I surfaced just in time to see Aaron jump feet first into the pool, and he was smiling when he came up about two feet from me. He waved his arm, splashing the water towards my head and after failing to shield it from my face I flashed him an annoyed look before attempting to return his smile.

"So where is everyone?" he asked, pushing his now drenched hair out of his face.

"Work," I replied. "Everyone has a life but me."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, laughing. "You have a more interesting life than anyone else I know."

"Yeah? Then you can have it," I responded bitterly.

"I never said I wanted it. What happened when you got home last night?"

"I talked to Eddie, and Luke," I explained, but I wasn't really interested in going into detail. "I think things are going to be alright."

"Really?"

"I guess."

"Well, that's good, right?"

"Maybe... it's weird."

"I believe you," he said, with a small smile, but then he turned serious. "Um... if you did, it's cool and all... but, you didn't mention that I was the one who told you, did you? I mean, I really don't need to give any of them more reasons to hate me."

"I didn't mention it... but, Luke sort of figured it out on his own," I admitted.

"Shit," Aaron cursed, grabbing the edge of the pool to hold himself up for a rest, and I swam over and took the ledge next to him.

"Listen... don't worry about it," I insisted. "They don't really have a right to get pissed, you know? At least you told me the truth. Fuck if anyone else would."

Aaron didn't look convinced, but he also seemed happy with my response.

"At least you're not pissed about it," he remarked, flashing me a small smile, and then, "So... did Luke mention anything about me after he figured it out?"

Aaron looked nervous, and this time, it didn't take much for me to figure out what he was talking about. To be honest, I wasn't even going to bring this up with him. After all, there were simply some things between him and Luke that were simply none of my business.

"Yeah, he did," I admitted.

Aaron frowned and seemed to avoid my eyes for a moment.

"How bad was it?" he asked grimly. Obviously, he didn't think Luke had a very good opinion of him, not that it wasn't true. I decided to let him off the hook with this one.

"It wasn't that bad," I insisted, and Aaron looked at me skeptically. "It really wasn't... I mean, I don't think he'd ever go out with you again, no offense; but, it wasn't like he was talking about you like some pissed-off ex."

"But, let me guess--it was enough to keep you from being interested."

"I didn't say that," I replied, before I could think to stop myself, and Aaron regarded me curiously.

"Then you are..."

"I didn't say that either," I said quickly. "Look, Aaron..."

"Never mind," he cut me off, looking frustrated. "Shit. I said we'd hang out as friends and I'm already fucking it up, huh? Just... forget it, Rory. I know what Luke would say about me... so let's just leave it at that."

I didn't even know how to respond to that. Leave it at that? What did that mean? If Aaron knew what Luke would say, wouldn't he try to defend himself? It seemed like something Aaron would do. Or, was he just going to leave it there because everything Luke said had been true? I mean, I guess it didn't really matter either way. Luke said it had been a long time ago, and even Luke said that it was possible that Aaron had changed. I almost mentioned this to Aaron, if anything to make him feel better. But, before I could he was suddenly lifting himself out of the pool, properly distracting me as his ass came up level with my head and I stared at his underwear, now soaked through to the point that they were sagging slightly, but sticking to his skin; and being white, I could see right through them, at least enough to realize that he had no tan lines on his butt, which looked tight enough to seem permanently clenched. And as he lifted a foot out of the water and my eyes followed him upwards I traced the visible line of his cleft with my eyes, all the way to the dark shadow of hair covering his balls--another part of him his underwear was sticking to.

I decided right then and there that I liked him in white. I mean, yeah, I saw Luke naked all the time, so maybe this was nothing; but I think it was the fact that having some things left to the imagination made it almost... better. So did the idea of peeling those underwear right off of him--which was, by the way, something I didn't see myself doing because a of lack of nerve, among other reasons, but still... it would be an image worthy of showering with later.

"Do you have anything to drink around here?" Aaron asked, and I was forced back to reality, and the fact that he was attempting to change the subject. Unfortunately, it still took me a moment to respond when he turned and just like with the back, the front of his underwear was clinging to everything.

"Um... yeah, sure," I replied, tearing my eyes away from places on his body which I probably shouldn't have been gawking at. I pulled myself out of the pool, ignoring the sudden tingling in my groin. It seemed to bring me back to my conversation with Eddie the night before. Maybe at my age, it really didn't take much. But fortunately, the thought of Eddie and my mom seemed to gross me out enough for whatever I was feeling to go away for the time being. I was still glad that there were towels outside this time, though, and I made sure to pass one to Aaron first. While I dried enough to stop dripping with mine, he simply wrapped the blue towel I passed him around his waist and waited for me.

I opened the sliding glass door, allowing Chey to enter ahead of us as I looked back at Aaron. He was looking somewhat uncomfortable again, and for some reason, I felt guilty about that.

"It's not like it didn't happen a long time ago... with you and Luke, right?" I said, hoping to make him feel better. "I mean... maybe it doesn't even matter--whatever happened."

Aaron regarded me curiously, and then frowned as he followed me inside.

"Like it doesn't matter to you every time Luke comes up?" he responded sarcastically. "Whatever."

"That's different," I responded defensively. "I mean, come on Aaron, you stole a car and let him get in trouble for it--that was fucked up."

"So, you get to hold it over my head like everyone else? Great."

I frowned as I headed over to the refrigerator, where I bypassed the soda and grabbed two bottles of water. I was getting irritated. The way I saw it, the whole car incident didn't have anything to do with Aaron dating Luke. They were two different things. Don't get me wrong, I would have liked to know why Aaron did what he did--screwing Luke over--but I didn't need him running me in circles with unnecessary guilt trips. Besides, he was the one who'd brought the whole thing up, anyway. I would have been perfectly happy if we'd been able to visit for a few hours without any of the bullshit coming up. I really didn't need anymore bullshit.

"Look, can we just drop this for now?" I asked, passing him a bottle of water when I turned and found him right behind me. "I'm sort of tired of dealing with everything, you know? It's bad enough I have to worry about Eddie being home in a few hours. He's probably going to want to do more talking, and I don't want to deal with..."

"Me?" Aaron cut me off, and I found my frustration rising when he actually appeared pissed off.

"That's not what I meant. I wouldn't have asked you to stay if..."

"You know what? Forget it. I'll go," he said. "Seth was right, anyway. I'm an idiot for coming over here."

Seth again? I was getting tired of that guy. I was also getting tired of Aaron walking away from me. Wasn't this supposed to work the other way around? I think I preferred it when he was the one chasing me through the door.

"Why?" I demanded, following him outside to where he'd left his clothes. "Because I don't feel like talking about Luke? Aren't you supposed to be grateful for that or something?"

He rounded on me, eyes narrowed as he dropped his towel and picked up his shorts.

"Because you're just like him," Aaron retorted. "You take one little thing and decide to hate me over it."

"What are you talking about? I never said I hated you!"

"You don't have to say it, Rory. If you're not interested in me, fine, but don't pretend that we're friends just because you feel sorry for me!"

I blinked, feeling completely lost.

"So which is it?" I demanded. "Do I hate you, or do I feel sorry for you, because I don't really have a clue anymore!" I paused, trying to keep my temper under control. No wonder I got confused when it came to Aaron. We couldn't even argue in a way that it made sense. "Fuck... I'm having a really bad month or something, okay? I'm freaked out about a lot of things right now, and I didn't ask if you wanted to hang out just so we could fight. It was kind of cool of you to pick me up yesterday, you know, it took my mind off things... for a while. And, I guess I thought that since you were the only one who was honest with me, maybe it would be okay, to be friends. And Luke has nothing to do with it."

Aaron's face seemed to soften, but he was still looking troubled as he quietly pulled his shorts on over his drenched underwear. His eyes seemed heavier than normal, and I noticed that he was avoiding mine again.

"Luke will always have something to do with it," he said quietly, and I wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but I was pretty sure that I didn't like it. When he met my eyes, I'm sure he could see that I was getting annoyed, too, but he smiled. Smiled. And Rory Norick was officially confused again. "I know you didn't want to get into this shit," he replied casually, as if we'd just been discussing the weather. "You just wanted to go swimming, right? Sorry about that... and ruining your day and all. Maybe I'll see you around."

Maybe I'll see you around? I was too perplexed to even respond to that as he picked up his shirt and walked back around the side of the house. I let him go, too, because... well, fuck if I understood anything about him. By the time he was gone, I didn't even understand what we'd been arguing about. Only, I had a feeling that Aaron leaving had more to do with Luke and less to do with me. After all, everything had seemed almost normal before I brought Luke's name up.

I went back inside, feeling drained again as I thought over what had just happened. Maybe Aaron didn't like the idea of me knowing that he and Luke had been a couple. Maybe he felt as weird about me knowing as I did. I mean, I had to admit that the fact Luke and Aaron had been together was another negative when it came to the question of whether or not I wanted to get involved with him. It sort of just made things weirder. So, maybe it was a good thing that Aaron had left and I had no idea whether or not I was ever going to see him again. I just wished that the thought didn't bother me so much.

...

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat across from Eddie, staring down at the loaded chicken salad in front of me. When he said he'd be home for a late lunch, I didn't think he'd meant that he actually wanted to go out to lunch. I'd eaten so much breakfast that I wasn't really even that hungry, so I'd made the mistake of letting him order for me. Now, I was faced with a salad so large that I doubted the whole thing would fit into my stomach, and it was only the first course.

"Have you called your grandma yet?" Eddie asked, and the question took me off guard.

"Why would I call her?" I responded coldly, but couldn't seem to help it.

"I don't know," he replied, shrugging. "After everything that's happened, I just thought you would have."

"I can't talk to her," I replied, frowning. "I mean, I don't even want to. Aren't you mad at her?"

"Furious," he replied, but it seemed casual. "I think what she did was sneaky, and wrong, and pointless... but she's still your grandmother."

"So?"

"So, you're all she has left, Rory," Eddie replied, and I experienced a moment of guilt that passed quickly. "And besides, if you plan to go back to living with her at the end of the summer, don't you think you should be on speaking terms? You are still planning on going back, aren't you?"

"Yes," I said quickly, feeling a little suspicious. I didn't want Eddie to think that anything had changed just because he was as gay as I was, and we actually had something in common. At the end of the summer, I planned to go back; unfortunately, that meant that he was right, and eventually, I'd have to face Grandma Alice. "I just... I'm not ready to talk to her, okay?" That came out more defensively than I'd meant for it to, but at least Eddie didn't seem to mind.

"You should try your salad. The food's really good here," Eddie suggested. I picked up my fork and did just that, if anything, because I didn't feel like talking anymore. "I actually met Jase in this restaurant." I looked up, finding myself interested, although I wasn't sure why. "I was celebrating because I didn't fail this horrendous exam at school, and I was here with some friends, probably too drunk for my own good, and I started picking up on this waiter--that was a big deal for me, you know. I ended up coming out to a few people that night because of it."

"Was it bad?" I asked.

"Not really," he replied, with a small smile.

"So... Jase worked here?" I asked, looking around. The place wasn't very big, and had sort of a bar-room feel to it. There was even a pool table in the corner. But somehow, I couldn't really picture Jase working anywhere other than in a comfortable office.

"No, he didn't," Eddie replied, and I swore that he was blushing. "That was actually the problem. He was sitting at the table behind us, but kept going up to the bar. He was wearing a shirt that looked a lot like the uniform here at the time, and so every time he passed our table, I was embarrassing myself. When he finally gave me his phone number he said it was just to shut me up, and he asked me to stop ordering drinks from him... Didn't get upset when I left him a tip, though."

I found myself smiling, trying to picture the situation. A drunk Eddie and an annoyed Jase. I guess I could see Jase annoyed, but Eddie drunk was what struck me as funny for some reason. Actually, beyond all appearances, he struck me as someone who'd never ordered a beer in his life--or at least someone who'd never gotten drunk and loud.

"You called him, even after that?" I asked, and Eddie smiled, probably because I seemed interested in his story.

"Actually, I was so wasted that I hardly remembered any of it," Eddie replied, looking sheepish. "One of my friends told me what happened but I thought he was joking. I almost died when I figured out he wasn't. All I remembered was a waiter yelling at me. But, the next time I did laundry, about a month later, I found a napkin in my pocket with a phone number on it and I think I called out of pure curiosity. Turns out it was Jase, and I guess he'd just ended a relationship with another man, so when I called he was depressed and pretty much demanded that I take him out. He didn't remember who I was until I met him here at this restaurant."

"He didn't?"

"Nope. The first thing he said to me was, 'Oh, it's the jerk.' Then he ordered us a couple of drinks and we've been together ever since. Not the most romantic story in the world, is it?"

"Kinda funny," I admitted, shrugging.

"I'm not sure Jase thinks so," Eddie replied with a wan smile. "When he tells it he insists that we met on a blind date and I brought him flowers. I probably would have brought some for real if I'd known what was going to happen."

"Does he ever confuse you?" I suddenly found myself asking, thinking of Aaron. We hadn't exactly met under the best of circumstances either. I certainly didn't see myself giving him flowers, ever. That just sounded dumb. But, thinking of awkward meetings, did make me think of him.

"All the time," Eddie practically laughed. "Here's some advice for you, Rory. Never let your straight friends tell you that only women do that. Men are even worse. Ask any woman and she'll tell you men are always wrong, so you can imagine what happens when two of us get together. But, that doesn't mean it's not worth it--why do you ask?"

I blinked at the question, and Eddie was regarding me curiously. I had no intention of explaining the mess with Aaron to him. As far as I knew, he and Jase had no idea that I even knew Aaron, and I thought it was better that it stayed that way. Especially if Luke thought so too, considering he hadn't told them about it. So, I decided to use the question to satisfy another of my curiosities.

"Jase... confuses me," I replied, and Eddie seemed to sit up in his seat a little, looking alarmed. "I mean, I know yesterday I fuc--I messed up. He hasn't said anything to me, so I thought maybe he was mad or something."

I watched Eddie put down his fork as he released a breath, his alarmed expression slowly becoming troubled as he shook his head, and for a moment, his reaction made me nervous as I wondered if Jase really didn't like me.

"Jase is mad," Eddie admitted. "At me, not you. He's as disappointed as I am that you took off--again," he added, and I felt annoyed about that, but properly chided. "But, we understand that you were upset. Jase isn't mad at you, Rory. He probably hasn't said anything yet because he doesn't know what to say; and to be honest with you, he's been arguing with me since last night, so he probably wasn't in the mood to say anything this morning."

"You're fighting about me?" I asked. Maybe a week ago, this idea wouldn't have bothered me--but it really did now. The fact that Eddie looked guilty before he answered the question didn't exactly make me feel any better.

"We're all just trying to adjust to a few things," he replied, and when he saw that I didn't look reasured, he continued. "I made a mistake when you came to live here, Rory. I think Jase is still just... trying to forgive me for it."

"But... Luke said that you all agreed not to tell me," I replied. "I mean, for a few days, until you got to know me."

"We did," Eddie nodded. "But I took it overboard. Rory, you have to understand, that even when I first met Jase, it was very important for him to be himself. He's never wanted to pretend he's something he isn't and he's never seen a reason why he should have to--not even when he found out you were coming here. He only did it because he knew it was important to me, and I think over the last two weeks he started feeling like I took advantage of the situation. I've been pretending to be his brother. He has good reason to be upset about that. But, it really has nothing to do with you. It's a problem that Jase and I will have to work out, and I'd rather you--or Luke--don't worry about it, okay?"

"I guess," I replied, still feeling unsure. This didn't really answer my question when it came to whether or not Jase wanted me there.

"If you want, maybe you and I could sit down later with Jase and Luke. I'm sure we all have a lot that we could talk about..."

"No thanks," I said quickly. I was having enough trouble dealing with one of them at a time. I wasn't exactly ready for the whole family scene. "Um... I'd rather not, okay?"

"Okay," Eddie replied, nodding with an amused expression on his face. I wondered if he knew what I was thinking. But, the look faded and he seemed to turn more serious. "Rory, I know we've already mentioned you running off... but I think we need to get a little further into it. It's happened twice now, and..."