Chapter 16: Jackie

"Okay, tell me all about it, Jackie," Kim said to me when we got into the bathroom. "How was it having Ted lick you while you sucked JR?"

"It was dreamy! I thought I was going to pass out," I told Kim and Mo.

"Ted must have been great!" Mo said.

"Ted was okay, but JR was wonderful! He fingered me before Ted came up. I never felt anything like it before. When I was kissing his cock, I almost came—before Ted did anything," I said.

"How could JR ask Ted to do that? Doesn't he know you two used to go out?" Kim said.

"Yes, JR knows about Ted and me. I don't know why he asked Ted, but to be perfectly honest, I'm glad he did. It sort of satisfied a fantasy of mine. I have always wondered how it would be to fool around with Ted." I giggled. "You know, he still hasn't felt me up this week."

"Do you want Ted to do more?" Mo asked.

"No, not really. Like I said, it was nice, but I love JR and I'm happy with him—more than happy. I think Ted is a great guy and all; he's my friend, but not anything more. I used to think I wanted us to be more, but things change," I said.

I went into one of the stalls and took a seat. I had to go, but I wanted to stop having to answer questions too. I loved my sister and Kim was a good friend, but I didn't want to dredge up old feelings, not feelings about Ted.

While enjoying my solitude, I thought about what had happened earlier. I began to wonder why JR had asked Ted to do what he did. After all, JR loved me, didn't he? I knew we had talked, and we had agreed to have fun this week, but how could he give me to Ted like he did?

The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. By the time I headed back to the lunch room, I was upset with JR. I sat at the table, staring at JR. When he smiled at me, I got up and ran out of the room.

I felt someone grab my arm. When I turned around I saw it was JR holding on to me.

"Leave me alone!" I said, trying to free myself from his grip.

"Jackie, what's wrong? What did I do?" JR asked.

"You don't know? How could you not know! You did it!"

"I'm sorry for whatever it was I did, but I still don't know what it was." JR kept calm as he talked to me.

"You gave me to Ted this morning, that's what. How could you invite my old boyfriend to eat me in front of everyone like that?"

"Um, I thought you liked it. I just thought it would be fun for you. If I would have known it would have upset you so much, I wouldn't have done it. Look, I love you—I love you more than anything in the world. Please forgive me, it'll never happen again," JR said.

I looked into JR's eyes, seeing them filled with tears. He let go of my arm and began slowly walking away. I watched him shuffling his feet, his head down as he moved away from me. I began crying, wondering what I had done.

"JR, WAIT!" I shouted to him. I ran toward JR, moving in front of him when I caught up.

"Honey, we have to talk," I said as I put my hand on his chest.

JR nodded. I took his hand, leading him toward the exit door. When we were outside, we sat on a bench. I stared at the ground, trying to work up the courage to tell JR my deepest thoughts.

"JR, I'm sorry for what I said, I really didn't mean it. I was using you as a scapegoat for my feelings, feelings that scare me. I'm not mad at you for what you did this morning, I'm mad at myself for how it made me feel."

When he started to interrupt me, I stopped him.

"What you did was the most unselfish thing anyone could ever do. I love you too, Baby. After Ted did that to me, I started having some of the same feelings I had when we dated. I know we were young at the time and neither of us was prepared to go any further than kissing, but that doesn't mean I didn't think about other things."

I paused, watching JR's face for his reaction. His lips were straight across his mouth, not frowning or smiling. I took a deep breath while composing what I planned to say next.